#55. Dildo
#55. Dildo
Everyone has one or two secrets they'd like to keep hidden from others.
I definitely had things I didn't want anyone to know about, and quite a few that would spell trouble if they got out.
The transparent dildo clutched in my hand...
I had no choice but to apologize to Na-eun.
Na-eun, looking like she was about to burst into tears.
"Th-that... Oppa..."
Na-eun tried to say something to me, but she just made creaky squeaks like a wind-up doll with a broken spring.
"It's okay. Don't say anything."
"No... it's not really what it looks like..."
Sure, it was true she'd hidden my pants and secretly filmed me with a hidden camera like a prankster, but I wasn't such a vicious boyfriend that I'd corner her now that she was having a total mental breakdown.
I gently put the dildo back where it belonged, acting like nothing had happened.
"Now give me my pants."
At my words, she hung her head and shuffled over to the closet, rummaging in the deep corner to pull out my pants and underwear.
...She'd hidden them deep, huh.
Once I had my pants on, she grabbed her underwear and hot pants and put them on too.
Back to our normal clothes, the two of us.
An awkward silence flowed between us.
"Sh-should... we eat...?"
Na-eun nodded, and we left the bedroom just like that.
The breakfast table Na-eun had set was incredibly thoughtful.
How many side dishes are there...?
Egg rolls. Squid salad. Cucumber kimchi. Kimchi. Pork stir-fry.
After eating nothing but delivery every day, seeing this many plates felt surreal.
I was grateful she'd gotten up before me to prepare all this...
But thinking about how she'd cooked it all with her bare ass out.
Na-eun still looked dazed, the shock from earlier not fully worn off.
Her waxed, smooth pussy popped into my mind.
What the hell are you thinking about with a spoon in your hand?
But honestly, Na-eun was quite the sight to eat...
To keep my delusions from crossing the line at the breakfast table, I deliberately started a conversation.
"Na-eun-ah."
"Yeah."
"This is really delicious."
I praised her by picking up some of the egg rolls she'd made.
"Really?"
Na-eun poked at her rice with her chopsticks and responded to my words.
"Yeah, for real. After all that delivery food, eating this makes me feel healthier already?"
"...Isn't 'healthy taste' just another way of saying 'you look like you'd be good at studying'?"
...Is that how it is?
"No way. It really feels like something from a fancy limited-course restaurant?"
"...Do fancy limited-course restaurants serve egg rolls?"
Ah. Just let it slide. Come on.
"Yeah. They do."
My girlfriend, who couldn't take a compliment straight and always twisted it.
I thought Na-eun was eating well, but suddenly she looked teary again and started yanking at her hair.
"What's the point of cooking well! I got caught being a pathetic slut who jerks off with a dildo!"
Wh-what? Sudden acceleration.
I'd been happily enjoying the pork stir-fry, thinking I couldn't get enough of it, and I jumped in surprise.
Looks like Na-eun was still hung up on what happened earlier.
Well, if she'd caught me with my onahole...
Yeah. Right.
I'd probably want to die.
It felt like the perfect timing to say some comforting words.
Alright. Last time she wasn't a virgin, I handled it pretty well comparatively, so if I just do the same...
"Na-eun-ah."
"What."
Her tone was so snappy, it made me suspect she was on her period.
"You're really amazing."
"Are you teasing me right now?"
"No, no. For real. And here's why..."
This just occurred to me, but.
"You bought a dildo but kept your hymen intact!"
At my words, Na-eun's expression shifted subtly.
"...You're acknowledging it?"
"Of course! That's no small feat!"
Suddenly, I saw tears welling up in Na-eun's eyes.
"For real... Oppa... You're the best, Oppa..."
Was this that touching of a line?
Do I actually have a talent for comforting?
Thinking it had worked amazingly well, I rode the momentum to perfectly lift her mood.
"How delicate must your technique be? Thrusting it in just enough not to tear the membrane."
"Huh?"
Na-eun looked a bit flustered.
Was that not it?
"Just rubbing it at the entrance like this without going in?"
The purpose of a dildo is for women to masturbate with.
Obviously, she'd try inserting it...?
As I kept talking, Na-eun fidgeted with her fingers, her face ambiguous.
"...No."
"Then you bought it and never used it at all?"
Hmm... For a total pervert slut like Na-eun, the idea that she'd bought a dildo and treated it like a sacred relic without touching it was honestly pretty suspicious.
Honestly, even keeping her virginity without inserting it was surprising.
"Not exactly..."
"Then?"
Na-eun's pupils spun a full 360 degrees for a moment.
Then she slyly raised her index finger to point at her cherry-like lips.
Mouth...?
She did it with her mouth?
But could you even masturbate normally if it's not her tits or pussy, the usual erogenous zones?
Contrary to my initial intent to cheer her up and end the conversation on this topic, I found myself asking more questions like I was entranced.
"That's the spot?"
It was a sentence made of pronouns only, but it caused zero confusion in the conversation between us total perverts.
Na-eun hesitated for a bit before nodding slightly.
Damn... what can I say...
It was starting to feel like this wasn't breakfast table talk, but I couldn't stop questioning.
"How'd you figure out that's the spot? And when? How?"
No, but I'm fucking curious.
How did that pretty girl end up shoving it down her throat alone.
And how she discovered that was her erogenous zone.
"That was..."
Na-eun hesitated for a moment, then suddenly clenched her fist and slammed the table.
"It's your fault! Lee Min-ho, you bastard!"
...Me? You're blaming me for this?
Suddenly hearing my name called out left me dumbfounded.
"No way, you're saying shoving a dildo down your throat is my fault?"
I asked again to confirm.
"Yes! From one to ten, it's all Oppa's fault, so just drop it already!"
In the end, Na-eun was the one who put an end to the conversation.
As the chaotic breakfast wound down, Na-eun huffed and kicked me out.
I'd thought she'd keep me pinned there all weekend.
Bang!
Staring at Na-eun's front door as it slammed shut, I started listing out what I needed to do at home.
Gotta draw the design blueprints in two lines too...
Ugh... Core position needs revising, so basically starting from scratch.
Gotta revise the manuscript too.
Oh.
Gotta write the Han Na-eun Episode.
Man, deciding the next heroine's name would be Han Na-eun feels like such a retarded choice even now.
Having chased Minho Oppa out, I returned to the bedroom and opened the dresser.
My trusty dildo-nim, always there as a sturdy pillar when I was exhausted and worn out.
I placed the dildo neatly upright on the desk and sat in the chair, staring blankly at the object full of my memories.
Is it time to let you go now?
Now that Oppa is my boyfriend, this guy's fulfilled his duty.
Sigh... but that's that.
When Oppa found it, I honestly felt like killing myself a bit.
Sure, I figured he might search when looking for his pants, but who knew he'd rummage through the drawer with all my underwear!
He even outed my throat fetish.
The standard use for a dildo is obviously women's masturbation—i.e., pussy insertion—but to emphasize to him that I'd never shoved it in my pussy, I tearfully confessed I'd shoved it in my mouth.
For real, Han Gyeo-ul writer-nim...
It's all because of you, you virgin-obsessed freak...
I didn't want to reveal I was a fan, so I just chased him out.
Honestly, my original plan was to trap him so he couldn't go anywhere and get pounded by Oppa's cock until my pussy was wrecked, but the dildo ruined everything.
"Ugh..."
Gripping the dildo tight in my hand, I decided to draw the sword of judgment.
I sealed the dildo in a small box so no one would know what it was and buried it in the recycling pile.
"You've worked hard all this time. I hope in your next life you get to taste some pussy."
And so, my dildo-nim, who never succeeded in a single insertion, met its end.
After finishing the dishes from breakfast with Oppa, I felt drained from the morning.
Twice the dishes for two people.
Still, Oppa ate it all up deliciously, so I felt good about that.
Flopping onto the bed, I felt like I'd turned into a mollusk.
Naturally turning on my phone screen, I saw I had a message.
[Lee Min-ho]
Looks like my boyfriend sent me something.
Unlocking it, one file from Oppa caught my eye.
[Han Na-eun Cover Design.txt]
...He jokes around every day and hasn't properly commissioned me yet, but here was the cover design proposal for a heroine with the same name as me.