Eyes Already Resigned to Death
Any ordinary noble would have taken Odelli for a bride on the name of Cardel alone, whether her body was frail or not. Castia, however, was not a woman moved by such ordinary measures. She weighed a bride's hardy blood long before she weighed her house.
Well. The ruler of the North might think that way.
Raging blizzards, monster raids that broke without warning, battle that ran through all four seasons. This was a land where neither a glittering house nor pure blood would keep you alive, if you were sickly.
What she wants is descendants who will carry on a hardy constitution.
Had she been the sort to obsess over bloodlines, she would never have taken Ludville as her adopted son to begin with. Even if she had borne no child, or could not secure an heir, she would have hunted down some kinsman who carried the blood of House Exepsion. That she had nevertheless chosen to accept a stranger's blood could mean only one thing. She valued strength and ability more than lineage.
"Even granting that he was searching for those blue eyes, I thought it was nothing more than some love game. But marriage? Not even a month after meeting again a woman he first saw at a masquerade four months ago..."
Castia recited the story Odelli and Ludville had so carefully constructed, then simply closed her mouth. She seemed to have judged that saying any more would only send her blood pressure higher. Pressing a hand to her throbbing temple, she swallowed her anger down.
Yes. That was the story they had set. A madman fallen in love...
For a moment, Odelli wavered. If she told the former archduke that this marriage was, in truth, only a contract, might she not be understood a little? Then she shook her head. No. Do that, and the woman would only press harder for an immediate annulment.
Better to insist that we love each other and can never let go.
That gave them a far stronger claim, one not so easily cast aside.
It was then that Ludville, silent until now, poured oil on the fire with a thoroughly indifferent look.
"The imperial envoy has already arrived. Do you imagine your opposition will change anything?"
As if the conversation itself were a nuisance, he stared past Odelli's shoulder with idle detachment. There was neither affection nor courtesy in his eyes. The word unfilial drifted through her mind, but Castia was no less formidable. Without so much as a blink, she drove the point home in a voice like frost.
"The imperial court? This is a matter of the North's fate. You think a little loss of face will matter? The only thing that cannot be undone is the dead. It isn't too late. Send her back to House Cardel."
"The dead?"
Ludville raised a brow.
"Do you think I would let my wife die?"
"You would do worse than kill her. This northern cold and barrenness will see to it, and so will you."
"Ha."
Ludville let out a hollow laugh. Before the exchange could boil over, Odelli cut in.
"As I said before, I am not as frail as I appear."
Castia's gaze turned on her. Those cold, sunken eyes looked down as if they could see straight through her.
"With eyes that have already made peace with death?"
"...!"
"You wear the face of someone who could close her eyes tomorrow without a single regret, Lady Cardel. Do you think I have seen such people only once or twice?"
For an instant Odelli nearly faltered, but she forced the tremor down and held her composure. Then she went on in the same even tone.
"You need not worry about an heir."
Of course, that child would never be hers. She would find a woman hardy enough to satisfy the former archduke, and hardy enough to spend a lifetime at Ludville's side. That had been her intention from the start. Let him set down his obsession with blue eyes and accept a new bond.
Ludville himself said he would no longer search for the blue-eyed woman...
Had she not resolved, all along, to help him live a life of his own? Finding him a spouse was only an extension of that resolve. She would leave the choice entirely to him, of course. But she could at least nudge him, quietly, toward feeling something for another woman.
A bitter ache rose beneath her breast. Odelli pressed the feeling down, as she always did, and hid it.
"No need to worry about an heir? You mean you can bear a child?"
Of course she had no intention of bearing one. How could she, when she would be dead in five years? It would be a cruelty to Ludville, and to the child who would be born. Across thousands of regressions, a child had never come into the world. There never would be.
We were never that kind of couple to begin with.
In this life, as in the last, they were not true spouses, only partners in a contract marriage. But if she answered here that she could not bear a child...
The marriage would never be allowed to stand.
Even now, Castia was poised to drive her out. Who knew whether that single answer would make her resolve to use any means necessary? She might even go so far as to join hands with House Cardel, if that was what it took to tear the two of them apart. If what the question implied was her ability to conceive...
Odelli lowered her eyes for a moment, then lifted her head and answered without visible unrest.
"Bearing a child will not be a problem."
"Not right away, perhaps. But you need not fear there will be no heir."
"And I cannot promise it, but... the child would very likely be born healthy, wouldn't they?"
She paused, then forced herself to go on as if nothing were amiss.
"...Because the father's blood is so very strong."
In that instant, the gaze at her side burned. She glanced over and found Ludville watching her, something strangely unsteady in his eyes. He looked as if he had heard something he had never once imagined.
"...Ru. I'm right, aren't I?"
Pressing further, Odelli called to him as if she knew nothing at all. There was, after all, the story he himself had built. To make the act more vivid, she sank into the moment and talked herself into it.
I am a foolish girl who fled her house, mad with love.
One who had cast aside her family's opposition and married, on impulse, a man she had fallen for at first sight... Odelli did not shy from his touch. Instead she leaned lightly into the warmth at her back. Which is to say, she settled fully into his broad embrace, as a lover would.
To her surprise, the motion was not awkward. Perhaps because it was not the first time she had been held in his arms. Across thousands of regressions they had already done everything a husband and wife could do, and besides, only this morning she had opened her eyes in his arms. Not that either of them had meant for it.
From above her head came a gaze that was terribly persistent. A faint tension ran through the arm wrapped around her. His breath faltered for a moment, and she felt hesitation brush the tips of his fingers. Had he truly not expected her to lean into him? She had thought that even if he were startled at first, he would answer as he always did, smooth and shameless. Unexpectedly, he seemed to hesitate. And that awkward silence stretched longer than she had thought it would.
...Did I go too far?