The Masochist Sandbag Who Provokes Guys Just to Get Hit
The event hall had the feel of a full-blown multi-studio showcase — people from various game companies giving presentations, MCs running the stages, the whole works. Players drifted between the indoor and outdoor areas, and even cosplayers whose outfits had nothing to do with any of the featured games had shown up under the banner of "livening up the atmosphere." The genres didn't match, but the costumes were dazzling all the same, and people were having a great time posing for photos with the attendees or prepping promotional shots to post later on the game communities.
And in the middle of all that, I'd shown up in the outfit Yuna had prepared for me.
Did it have to be this one.
Even I knew it — that famous blade cosplay from a certain series. The second I put it on, Yuna had screeched with pure delight at how well it suited me.
"Sensei's over here~!"
"Take, come take a picture with me!"
"Yahoo-i!"
…And those three are already off enjoying themselves on their own terms.
I'd gone along with the cosplay because Yuna wanted it, but what I mostly did was loiter near the Yunas, feeding their need to show off while letting myself be shown off in turn. My eyes were bad enough that I couldn't wander far anyway, so I'd just stand off to the side in one spot. The Yunas would linger beside me, then zip over to whoever was giving them the look, strike a pose, and zip right back — like interceptors from a certain game, darting out and returning to base.
Three devoted little idiots…
They always passed themselves off as "we're triplets," but if she felt like it she could make more, and the applications for that power were endless. She was spending a gift like that on nothing but a hobby.
She could even rewrite her own figure at will. The costumes this time were unnecessarily daring, the skin glossy enough to catch the light — a completely different league from the regular players around them. Other people were scrambling just to put one decent outfit together. These three were already living, walking sex figures, so vivid you could practically smell a body heat that wasn't even there.
"Um, excuse me~? Could I get a picture~?"
"Yes, Senseiii~! Did you call for Asuna?"
"…Ugh."
And the way they acted…
"Could you maybe… pose like this…?"
"Mm, like this, then~?"
"J-just a little lower~!"
"Aaah~! Sensei's being so naughty~! Then how about this~?"
"Thank you so much~!"
…Full-service, every time.
She even modulated her vocal cords to match the original characters' voices and mannerisms perfectly. People who had no idea who Yuna was would still come over just from hearing the voice — that was how dangerously magnetic it was. With a friendliness and approachability that made her feel like someone you'd known forever, she'd wiggle the rabbit tail stuck to her ass and beam at them, and most men simply folded.
Having ears that were far too good was a problem.
Yuna could hear even the quiet muttering from positions where it shouldn't have carried.
"What'd they say?"
"That they're turned on."
"Kyaah~☆"
Feed her a short version of that and she'd light up with a joy that was almost unnerving. And she still insisted she wasn't an exhibitionist — the world of exhibitionists, apparently, ran deeper than I'd thought. Crude on the outside, bottomless on the inside; the more you learned about a woman's fetishes, the larger the unknown territory grew. It was a genuine unsolved problem.
"Excuse me!"
"Yes?"
"Can I take a picture?"
"Sure, sure…"
I was getting photo requests of my own in the middle of all this, so the moment I slipped out from between the Yunas was the problem. Whatever demand I had going, the women who'd trotted all the way over kept asking me too — and the second I left my post, I could hear people closing in on the three of them to fill the gap.
"We're from the □□ community — would it be okay if we took a shot of Ilulu and uploaded it?"
"Mhm, totally OK~! Takes! Over here!"
"Holy shit she's actually identical…!"
"We're from the Blue Archive cafe, and if the Asuna cosplayer could also—"
"Then this Asuna will personally escort the Senseis this way~!"
"…In that case, could Hel pose a bit too—"
"Please take care of me."
"Hyoit, got iiit~!"
It left me restless. My toes were itching. The only kind of man who watches a crowd of guys swarm his women with lust in their eyes and feels glad about it is a man with that particular taste.
"Could you do a foot pose too?"
"Sure."
I answered the women who'd come to photograph me without much thought and kept my ears open. I was getting decent reviews myself, apparently, so they showed no sign of letting me go — and the mix of voices drifting over from the other side padded my ego and tickled me at the same time.
"Can Ilulu lift the cape a little?"
"If it's not okay, I'll apologize right now."
"It's fine! Like this?"
"…!"
"Okay, taking it…"
"A look under the cape, though — Take, so that's your hobby…"
"……Ugh."
Yuna had been using the cape draped over her shoulders to cover a lower half that was nothing but a single pair of panties — and now it was all out in the open while the shutters fired. Thick thighs, a big ass, a chest that was already excessive on its own, and the lower half fully exposed; the people crowding in mostly aimed straight down there, and Yuna, completely unbothered, would lift a leg and give a little tease, clearly having the time of her life.
"Hel, the kick motion, please."
"You got iiit~! Like thiiis~?!"
Fwaap~♡
"…She's for real."
"She's actually doing it…"
"I'll do it, but if you get too close I really will kick you~? You there — cross that line and you're in trouble, okayy~!"
"Yes~!"
The Yuna in the fighting-game cosplay was enjoying herself every bit as much as the dragon girl. The gap at her crotch was considerable enough that a kick pose like that should have left things dangerously close to visible, but she'd apparently found an exquisitely precise angle. On top of that, some guys had taken her permission as a green light to lie flat on the floor and shoot from below — this round of photos was going to cause a stir across more than a few communities.
"Asuna, do you know that motion?"
"If you do, could you squat down like that… yes, just like that~!"
"Did Sensei come to do laundry too~?"
"Oh wow, you really know your stuff…"
"Is it okay if I, uh, shoot from above?"
"Asuna doesn't mind… though, just so you know, I'm wearing nipple patches, so you won't see anything there even from above~☆"
"That's…"
"Senseis are so naughty~! Doing this somewhere else might get you hated~? Well, I'm fine with it~! Hehe… it's covered, so OK!"
"Ah— ah, okay, taking it now?"
"Mhm~! Peace peace~! Make Asuna look pretty!"
"…Insane."
"For real, you can see the whole nipple patch…"
The last one — the bunny girl — was seducing them outright. The first two had at least kept people from crossing a line; this one let them get far too close. They were clustering over the squatting Yuna, angling from above to aim at her chest, and if the nipple patches were showing then my patience was just about done.
She's putting on that whole circus and staring straight at me the entire time.
My eyes were bad, but for the girl who was supposedly my girlfriend, I could see her just fine. Normally the world was a screen of black and gray, but color seemed to bloom only in Yuna's vicinity… The doctor had called it psychological, so I'd never thought too hard about it, but one thing was certain now.
She's doing it on purpose. For me to watch. Right?
Really. What a filthy little minx.
If any more people piled on, security might come over to warn them, so I gave the women a quick bow, drew the prop sword, and headed that way. With every step closer, bunny-girl Yuna grinned wider, her happiness so blatant it was almost offensive.
"Excuse me, Senseis? Senseis~!"
"Y-yes?"
"What is it?"
"The l-l-line — please stay behind the line. You can't cross here. You understand?"
"But the player said—"
"—Want me to report it?"
"…Yes."
"…………"
"And you — you little…! Stop calling people over on purpose and actually control them, will you?"
"I'm sooorry, Senseiii~♡ Hehe…"
"Who are you calling Sensei. I don't even play that game. More importantly — you getting up or what? Planning to stay squatting like that forever?"
Thud!
"Eeuuh?!"
"""!"""
The moment my foot moved, shock rippled through everyone nearby, but I ignored it and gave her ass a few more solid kicks until she finally stood up.
"Eugh~! Nooo, it's gonna leave a mark on my butt~!"
"That's the point. You damn brat, picking fights with people."
"…Heh. And yet you still came over☆"
"Shut up."
I snapped at her briefly and turned my back, and from behind me came that unpleasant little giggle. Yuna was Yuna, but the people I'd forced back also retreated without much fuss. Maybe they were all spineless — either way, they blushed on their own, which made things easy. They pretended they'd stepped away because of me while busily checking whether their shots had come out satisfying, muttering among themselves. That much was almost cute.
——Once people gather, they start talking. Human nature.
We were famous.
In a really, truly bad way.
"What pose should I do?"
"Next—"
"—Can you do this one too?"
"Like this?"
"Thank you~!"
While bunny-girl Yuna settled down and I went back to humoring the women, the next bit of chaos came walking over.
"Um…"
"Yes?"
Unlike the others, the Yuna in the dragon-girl cosplay seemed to wrap things up faster. After her photo session ended she looked my way, humming under her breath, holding eye contact the way a girlfriend would — and that was when I saw a man approach her.
"Yes, a whisper? Yes… uh-huh… hm?"
Ah.
The man leaned in and whispered something to Yuna, and the second I thought this pattern again— and let the tension drop from my shoulders, it happened.
"Excuse me? That account isn't ours, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't just say things like that. More to the point — what exactly are you even talking about right now?"
The cosplay-girl coquettishness she'd been ladling out to everyone vanished in an instant, replaced by the hard, serious tone of an office worker.
Every eye turned.
We were fucked.
Not us — the guy, obviously.
"But anyone can tell this is… this is…"
"Sir. Please don't show weird things in a public place. What is this bizarre— why are you suddenly showing people nude photos?!"
"No, this…! This is you guys…!! It's your account!"
"I have no idea what you're talking about…… I think there's been some kind of misunderstanding, but that isn't ours, okay?"
"What…"
"I don't know which community you pulled that from, but this isn't the first or second time we've heard this. Getting mixed up with weird people over that kind of thing is a real problem for us. We've already handed it to investigators and we're pursuing legal action, so please don't come at us with whatever you picked up somewhere."
"……No."
"Honestly, what you just did gave me chills. I know what you were thinking when you said it, and it genuinely scared me…"
"……That's—"
"'What are you doing after the event,' 'I know the account,' 'let's talk about this later' — I know exactly what all of that means… You do realize what you just said is basically sexual harassment, borderline a sex crime, right? It's really not something I want to hear…"
"……………"
"I'm not the account owner, but… what on earth made you think saying that was okay…?"
"……………"
"I have a boyfriend. He's right over there — should I call him over so we can talk?"
"That's not— ah… aah… ah, fuck……!!"
She'd done it…
That vicious little Yuna had said it all at the perfect volume for everyone to hear…
The men near Yuna started murmuring, and the one who'd approached her spun around and fled on the spot. Watching from a distance, I caught the way the corner of Yuna's mouth curled up. My vision shouldn't have reached that far — but I knew anyway. Of course I did. I knew every inch of that masochist who loved showing off, loved being shown off, and had a rotten personality to match.
"Um…"
"About that account…"
The rumor had spread far enough that even the women on my side seemed to know something about it, and they still took pictures with me while fishing for an answer.
"Do I look like a man who hits women?"
"Ah— no."
"Just checking. Sorry."
"You really have it rough…"
"………"
"Whichever community that rumor blew up in — we'll post when we get back, so hang in there."
"…Okay. Thank you."
The customers shut it down before I even had to defend myself, so I left it there, held the pose, and let them take their shots. After that the foot traffic thinned for a bit, and the moment I let my guard down, the Yuna in the fighting-game cosplay slid up, plastered herself against my back, and whispered into my ear.
"Our darling hits so, so, so~ hard… those people have the worst taste in men… Nihihi~☆"
Really. She knew exactly how to piss me off.
"You don't-know-a-thing little animal, spreading your cunt and wagging your tail all over the place — want your owner to show you how he puts you down?"
"Yes, darling~!"
And the fact that I played along made me every bit the same kind of bastard as Yuna.