Netorase Play (1)
Turning her back to me, Seoyeoni huddled up tightly. Disappointment radiated from her silhouette. I couldn't bring myself to say anything or pat her reassuringly. All I could do was stare blankly at my pathetic dick and the cum.
It hadn't gone soft, but I'd failed. Seoyeoni hadn't felt even a moment of pleasure. She used to cum at least once... right along with me when I finished... The defeat of not satisfying her tore at my heart. At the same time, a nauseating fantasy bloomed in my mind.
How far had Hyeonwoo gone last night? How many times had he satisfied her through the night? What reactions had Seoyeoni shown him? Even clenching my teeth and thrusting with all my might, I couldn't reach where she wanted. Hyeonwoo delivered it so effortlessly, and Seoyeoni took it while moaning. The revolting scene played out in my head on its own.
Tears welled up pathetically. It wasn't about getting hard or not—it was a more fundamental difference. I knew no matter how much I worked out, went to the doctor, got counseling, or took pills, it wouldn't work. An insurmountable gap no effort could bridge...
"Sniff... Seoyeoni...?"
After huddling for a long time, Seoyeoni stirred. I quickly wiped my eyes and cleared my throat.
"..."
Lying on her side, she stared at my dirty dick. She didn't want to show her face, just gazing at the limp thing. Soon, she staggered out of bed to grab some tissues.
"S-Seoyeoni... I..."
"No, it's fine."
She meticulously wiped the cum off my stomach. She even checked my sticky pubes and soft dick, cleaning every bit. Once done, she gave it a final touch and snuggled back into my arms.
"How was it for you, oppa? Did you like it?"
When I tried to look at her face, she burrowed deeper, refusing.
"Don't look at my face... Just answer. How was it?"
"I-I..."
"Just be honest."
She murmured softly, stroking my chest. Could I call this good? I had no idea what to say. With a pathetic expression, I just nodded at the back of her head.
"Mmm..."
"Good."
I felt her faint smile.
"If oppa liked it, I'm happy."
"..."
"I like oppa. I don't know why, but it just keeps feeling that way."
Seoyeoni fiddled with her fingers on my chest.
"I felt it again just now. Even if it was like that... even if it was weird..."
She let out a small sigh and trailed off. She shook her head and buried her face in my chest. I wanted to ask what she was thinking, but I forced myself to look away and not pry. I couldn't handle it.
"I only have you, oppa. No, you're all I have."
"..."
She comforted me—not quite comfort—saying she loved me, that I was the only one. I wanted to say something back, but my mouth wouldn't move. There were no more "what ifs." It had just happened. Last night, Seoyeoni and Hyeonwoo had sex.
"And you, oppa...?"
"Huh?"
"Do you... love me?"
"Of course I do. I love you, Seoyeoni... You're all I have too."
I swallowed the bile rising in my throat and answered as calmly as possible. Seoyeoni trembled slightly at my words. Slowly, hesitantly, she looked up at me. Her beautiful eyes, brimming with tears, reflected my face. The same eyes that had held Hyeonwoo last night.
"But... d-do you really think I'm dirty...?"
"No. I'll get mad if you say that again."
"..."
"You didn't do anything wrong, Seoyeoni. It wasn't bad. If anyone's dirty, it's me—not you."
"You're not dirty either, oppa...!"
I barely held back my surge of emotion to soothe her, and she soothed me in return.
"..."
We silently patted and comforted each other like that. It felt like we were confirming our love, cherishing one another... but what the hell were we doing? Because of that bastard Hyeonwoo... No, to be precise, it wasn't Hyeonwoo. It started with me. I began all this. I was the crazy one, the pathetic one.
"Oppa..."
After clinging like that for a while, Seoyeoni called me, trailing off.
"Can't we stop now...? I don't want to do this anymore."
"..."
When I stayed silent, she pressed harder.
"I want to stop. Honestly, I hate this. Thinking of Hyeonwoo oppa... I hate it so much."
I felt the same as Seoyeoni. I didn't want to do it anymore. But it was too late—my heart ached terribly...
"Yeah, let's do that. We'll stop."
"R-really...? Don't ask to do it again, oppa."
"Yeah, I won't."
"You'll go to the hospital too, right? Let's start tomorrow."
"Yeah..."
"I'll forget everything... You forget too, oppa. Like nothing happened. Okay...?"
I just nodded, saying I'd do it. What happened couldn't be undone. Like Seoyeoni said, we'd have to try to forget and somehow move on. If only we'd done this a day earlier... I gave her a bitter smile.
"Seoyeoni, let me do it."
"No way~ This is girlfriend duty! You gonna stop me from being your girlfriend?"
"Ah, no, I just thought you'd be tired..."
"Nope, you rest, oppa~"
Seoyeoni pecked my cheek and sorted my laundry. She neatly folded my underwear and socks into the drawer. Humming a tune, she organized my t-shirts and pants too. Ever since that day, I'd been showered with Seoyeoni's love. She cherished and adored me so much it made me wonder if I deserved this happiness. If I seemed bored, she'd act cute to make me laugh. For any chores, she'd step in. She hugged me constantly, saying she loved and liked me.
I started counseling at the hospital. Since I'm young, they said meds might not be ideal, so we began with psychiatric sessions. It didn't feel like full psychiatry, but to follow Seoyeoni's wishes, I went faithfully. They talked about dopamine, psychosomatic issues, gave advice—but it didn't seem very effective. I just went for Seoyeoni's worried sake.
"Hmm? What? Where were you looking~?"
I got caught staring at the lovely Seoyeoni.
"Uh...?"
"You saw my panties, oppa!"
She pointed between her legs playfully.
"Peeking at panties while I'm doing laundry! Pervert oppa."
"N-no, I didn't!"
"Lying too? Naughty."
Grinning, she dove into my arms. With a sultry glance, she slipped her hand into my pants to check.
"What? It's not even hard?"
"Ah, I really didn't..."
"Then look!"
Seoyeoni lifted her t-shirt to flash her panties. Giggling, she fondled my dick. Naturally, it swelled up.
"Wow~ It's hard now! How does it get like this so fast? Amazing."
Her adorable aegyo filled me with happiness. Stroking her, I glanced at her cute panties too. The pink ones I'd bought her. Sitting made her plump ass look even cuter.
"You look uncomfortable, oppa~ Wanna take off your pants?"
"..."
This was definitely happiness... Having this Seoyeoni as my girlfriend made me so grateful and smitten... So what was this emptiness?
We both acted like nothing happened, never mentioning that day. But that alone didn't erase it. The fact that Seoyeoni had been with Hyeonwoo hadn't changed. No matter how much I ignored it or tried to forget. No matter how much love I received, no matter how happy this moment felt, that fact remained unchanged. It drove me mad, popping into my bliss unbidden.
"Not gonna take 'em off~?"
What about Seoyeoni? Had she really forgotten? Or was she pretending like me? Could it... ever be forgotten...?
"What're you up to, Seoyeoni? She ghosted outta nowhere."
Hyeonwoo twitched his handsome brows, probing me. Every word, every expression was loathsome. I barely suppressed my boiling rage.
"...She said we're not meeting anymore."
"Again? Wow, what the hell. Ending it like this? Seoyeoni's got bad habits."
"Hey. Don't talk like that."
I growled lowly, and Hyeonwoo shrugged.
"It's true. Ghosting without a word. Is this what getting eat-and-dumped feels like?"
His "eat-and-dump" comment snapped something inside me.
"Hey... what the fuck?"
"Don't know eat-and-dump? Eat and ditch. Didn't expect it from Seoyeoni, though."
I forced down the vomit rising.
"She was bawling her eyes out big time. But now no more meetings? Wild."
"She cried...?"
"Happens with some girls. Didn't know Seoyeoni was like that, hyung?"
Seoyeoni wouldn't. I'd never seen it.
"How wouldn't you? She burst into tears right away."
"..."
Hyeonwoo shrugged like it was odd. I couldn't hold back anymore. My heart pounded, fists clenched white-knuckled.
"You fuck... you really did it, huh?"
"Pardon?"
"Did you fuck Seoyeoni?"
"Ask her. Why me...?"
"You fucker!!"
Trembling all over, I glared. Hyeonwoo stared blankly, then hardened his face coldly.
"Why the cursing?"
"Fuck. Tell me straight. Did you fuck Seoyeoni?"
"..."
I was going insane, but Hyeonwoo stayed calm. He didn't flinch at my anger.
"Yeah, I did."
"What...?"
"I fucked Seoyeoni."
Hearing it directly hit different from imagining. I wanted to rip Hyeonwoo apart.
"That night, probably five times all night? I was pretty horny too."
"..."
"Our chemistry was great."
Rage surged like never before... and disgustingly, my dick swelled too. Hyeonwoo smirked seeing it.
"Seoyeoni definitely has masochistic vibes, huh? You knew, right, hyung?"
"What...?"
"Obedient, listens well, first time and she did everything I said."
"..."
"Train her right, and she'll be a proper..."
I couldn't hold back and swung at Hyeonwoo with all my strength, aiming to smash that fucking mouth... but it was blocked pathetically.
"...Hyung. What the hell?"
"What...? Wh-what..."
"Fuck, what is this? You tryna hit me?"
"..."
Hyeonwoo looked down coldly, gripping my hand. It wouldn't budge. The shifted vibe killed my rage; fear hit first. Instinctual dread. I dropped my eyes.
"Unbelievable."
"Ah..."
I rubbed my released hand. My wrist throbbed numbly.
"Fuck... hyung. What the fuck is this?"
"N-no... Hyeonwoo..."
"Wasn't this what you wanted?"
"..."
"Fuck. You begged crying for it, now what? What am I supposed to do?"
I flinched again as he raised his voice.
"You asked me to fuck Seoyeoni."
"Ah..."
"I did, and this is how you react?"
I hadn't said "fuck her." Just do it... Fuck, even now, pathetic thoughts.
"No, but why the fuck is your dick hard? Mad but horny?"
"..."
"Fuck, just one thing. One."
Hyeonwoo scoffed in disbelief. I trembled, lost.
"This is what you wanted, right? Yeah?"
"Y-yeah..."
"Still horny now? So what is it? Pissed but want me to do it again?"
I didn't even know anymore. What the hell did I want...?
"I-I don't know..."
"Fuck. If you don't know, who does?"
"..."
Hyeonwoo sighed deeply. I wanted to sigh too, but couldn't breathe.
"I'll back off. No more seducing or stepping in."
"..."
"Think it over and decide, hyung."
"M-me...?"
"Not doing it? End it here. If you are, convince Seoyeoni and send her to fuck me."
"Ah..."
"I'm sick of this childish bullshit. Convince her properly."
The choice was mine, but I felt dragged along. My dick throbbed, swollen to bursting.
"Got it?"
Hyeonwoo nodded like it was settled. The words I'd held back from fear lingered.
"B-but one thing. Seoyeoni's not like that..."
"What?"
"Th-that maso stuff... Even if we do it again... not like that..."
"I'll handle it."
Hyeonwoo cut me off with a glance, like I was ridiculous. I shut up like a mute, eyes down.