The Junior I Want to Be With

This is the story of how Gachi and I first met.

You've already heard Gachi's side of things, so you might not be all that curious—but I'd still like you to listen to mine, just ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠a little.

It might feel a bit dull since you've heard it before, but...

Then shall we go back for a moment, to where the prologue began?

"I'm fine, unnie. Yeah, I'll hang up now."

Really, what a worrywart of an unnie.

With that thought, I ended the call and looked up at the building in front of me. Anyone could tell it was a two-story one-room mansion. Still, it was close to the university, there was a hospital nearby, and the soundproofing between rooms was solid—pretty much the ideal place for someone like me who streamed for a living.

When I said I was returning to school this year after two years of leave, our boss—Thomas unnie—had picked this place out for me. She has a real name of her own, of course, but I've called her that from the start, and somehow the nickname just stuck to my tongue better than anything else.

"Alright then... ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠haah, there's way too much of this. I should've moved the stuff over earlier..."

I'd kept putting it off out of laziness, and now that I was trying to haul everything over in one go, I was staring at a full eight boxes. I should've just accepted gratefully when the others offered to help...

"Um... need a hand?"

"Huh?"

Someone spoke up out of nowhere. I turned toward the voice and found a fairly big guy standing there. Whether it was just a naturally good face or something else, he looked polished even without any particular effort, and he kept a considerate distance while he spoke.

My first impression of him was this: unpretentious, simple, and somehow likable.

Maybe that was why.

"Um... do you know me or something?"

"No, first time seeing you."

"So you're just doing this out of the goodness of your heart?"

I suddenly felt like teasing him a little.

He took my teasing in stride with surprising ease, and that only made me more interested. So I asked him to help. True to his build, he was strong—he lifted the boxes like they weighed nothing and carried them all the way up to room 105.

We talked about all sorts of things along the way, and just like that first impression, he didn't seem like a bad person at all.

Maybe it was the atmosphere he gave off, but I ended up outing myself as an anime fan right then and there. Wondering if he might be into anime too, I asked—and he said:

"Something like that. The streamer I like is into anime and manga, so I end up watching along with her."

A streamer?

And then he went on to say he was a fan of Eve from Utopia.

In that moment, even knowing it was rude, I couldn't help but get suspicious.

What if he already knew I was Kiri and was approaching me on purpose? Tita had actually dealt with a stalker before, so a little anxiety crept in. When only one box was left, I sent him on his way.

He left without a fuss, looking like he had no lingering attachment to me at all.

...So it really had been my imagination, then.

"Haa... that was a pretty lousy thing to do."

After wrestling the biggest box—the one with all the streaming gear—up by myself, I finally felt bad about the guy from earlier.

Thinking back, he hadn't seemed particularly interested in me to begin with. I'd been the one driving the conversation, the one asking all the questions.

He'd just been a kind person, and I'd gone and been rude without even realizing it.

"...If I see him again, I want to apologize."

I sat curled up in a chair that was already in the still-unpacked room and muttered to myself. Then I glanced sideways and spotted a large mirror.

In that mirror was me—with short hair.

"...It's not exactly easy to ask someone you just met, 'So, how do I look with short hair?'"

I'd originally meant to ask. Whether this hair suited me.

But I'd been too embarrassed, and asking first would have felt like admitting I was hung up on it myself—so I didn't want to.

Long hair looks better on you. I think you should keep it about that length from now on.

An unpleasant memory. It wasn't even that I'd cut it out of spite against what that person said—I'd wanted to cut it all along. That was all.

Was I still not free of the past?

Honestly, even now I had no real confidence. People who knew about back then would probably think of it the moment they saw my hair now. They might not even mention it at all.

And that... would kind of sting.

I didn't want to feel this way because of someone who had nothing to do with me anymore. It made me sick that something from then still reached into who I was now.

"I think it suits me, though..."

But in the end, with no one to ask, all I could do was compliment myself.

Well, whatever. Talking to yourself is just part of the job when you're a streamer!

"Alright, everyone—see you tomorrow!!"

The Utopia group collab finally ended and the stream went offline. Haa... I was wiped.

Maybe it was the move, but my shoulders ached, and I'd made mistakes I normally never would. Still, considering I'd teamed up with Eve, the score had come out pretty well—so I'd let it slide.

"If that guy hadn't helped me, it would've been worse. Yeah. I really should apologize. We live in the same building, so I'm bound to run into him eventually."

With that thought, I went browsing cafés for a little ego-surfing. The boards were packed with posts about today's collab, and one title in particular caught my eye, so I clicked it.

It'd be full of praise for me, right? My heart was racing... and then I actually read it and realized it was just another Eve-worship post.

Haa, well. Fair enough. Eve was the most popular member of Utopia, after all.

There was some praise for me in there, but in the end it was only the kind of praise you give the official partner of Eve.

"Still, just reading it makes me happy, so I'll forgive—wait, no, praise me too..."

I read a post by someone called Eve's First—who was obviously an Adami—and wanted to bite the guy's head off. But taking it out on a total stranger wouldn't mean anything. Not that I even could.

"Haa... normally I'd... no, never mind."

Something from the past flickered up for a second, but it was over now.

And I figured nothing would have changed anyway.

"...Ah, I went and thought about it again."

Dwelling on the past had dredged up another memory I didn't want—one that still had a classmate fretting over me even now...

"I still haven't told Yun-a."

The moment Yun-a came to mind, I thought about going to the freshman welcome party tomorrow. She'd worried about me for so long—I should let her know I was okay now.

With that, I lay down on the bed, did a few more rounds of ego-surfing, and finally fell asleep.

The next day.

With the after-party of the freshman welcome event not far off, I stood in front of the mirror fully dressed.

"Hmm... this is pretty safe, right? It's been so long since I've actually gone out like this..."

Being a streamer meant a lot of days spent cooped up at home, so figuring out what to wear when I had to face a crowd always took some thought. I'd asked the other members, at least.

First, I was going to kill Eve later for roasting me.

Having gotten a passing grade from Tita and Vivi, I headed out with some peace of mind. I'd put on light makeup just in case, though I wasn't sure if I'd done it well.

Not that it mattered—there was no one I particularly needed to look good for.

...Thinking that made me feel a little lonely.

Lost in one thought after another, I finally arrived at the after-party venue. If you asked how I even knew where it was—

"Thank god someone left it in the group chat..."

Fortunately, someone in the group chat had posted the location. That was the only reason I'd made it here at all.

Being an introvert was such a pain. I never had anyone to just ask...

"Gulp. Okay. Going in."

A little shaky, I steeled myself, opened the door, and stepped inside. At first no one looked my way—but then someone spotted me, the whispering started, and gradually more and more eyes turned toward me.

Ah, this kind of thing is... kind of hard.

"Wa Sol."

A voice that came to my rescue.

"Yun-a."

I'd heard she'd become student council president, but she hadn't changed a bit from two years ago. Still overflowing with energy, still strong and kind enough not to ask me anything out of consideration.

"You're... back?"

"Yeah. I decided to return starting this year."

"I see... welcome back."

She said welcome back. What a good friend. Her eyes had drifted to my hair, but she didn't say a word—probably out of consideration too, right?

You could just say it looks good on me, you know...

Feeling a small twinge of disappointment, I looked over at Yun-a's table and realized it was pretty much full. What now? Sitting with people other than Yun-a would be a little uncomfortab— wait.

That person...

"Looks like the seats are... all taken. Where's empty?"

"There's a spot over there. I'll go that way."

I pointed toward the table where the person I'd just spotted was sitting and started walking over. Of all places to run into him again.

What a strange coincidence.

Though—what was I supposed to call him? I didn't even know his name... Ah, right. His room number, probably.

"You're 201, right?"

"Yes. We meet again, Senior from 105."

Good. I'd gotten it right.

And looking at him like this... yeah, he really did have a pleasant face. Familiar, clean, unadorned... he just felt easy to be around.

"I'm Go Gachi. Wa Sol... should I call you Senior?"

He must have overheard my name just now—he already knew it without me introducing myself. Gachi, huh... nice name.

I wondered why he'd been given it. Idle curiosity.

Yesterday he'd mentioned going to the military and retaking the CSAT, so I'd thought he might be older than me... but he turned out to be a year younger.

After exchanging a few more words with Junior Gachi, I realized something.

This was comfortable.

Same as yesterday—maybe because there was no pretense ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to him. I could talk to him easily, and nothing he said put me off.

In that easy atmosphere, I casually asked why he was sitting alone, and Junior Gachi answered like it was nothing.

"Haha. Just like you predicted yesterday, Senior—turns out I wasn't all that popular."

"Is that so? I don't think so~"

My usual Kiri tone slipped out without me meaning to.

Fortunately, Junior Gachi didn't react much. He'd said he liked Utopia—did he just not know catchphrases like that?

Or maybe he knew and was pretending not to. Well, with this many people around, staying in character was basically mandatory.

"By the way, I've been feeling eyes on us for a while. Are they looking at me, or at you?"

"Definitely you, Senior."

That was Junior Gachi's answer. And right after he said it, my eyes met those of a certain junior girl who'd been giving me an unpleasant look for a while now.

Ahh~

The vibe radiating from her brown-haired eyes was pure wariness, one hundred percent. Sheesh. Our junior here had someone looking at him like that and he still hadn't noticed...

So he wasn't exactly the sharpest when it came to reading the room.

"I don't think so~"

A little stubborn over the fact that he hadn't picked up on my tone earlier, I leaned even harder into the Kiri voice—but he just smiled and accepted the beer glass. No other reaction.

...He could give me a little something, couldn't he?

Of course, I couldn't let my identity slip. That dilemma was still swirling inside me when two guys who looked like freshmen came over to our table.

And the moment I saw the smile on the one with brown-dyed hair—

My mood dropped like a stone.

The fake smile I hated. The deliberate kind, manufactured to win someone over.

The kind of smile that made me think of that person.

I tried to make an excuse through Junior Gachi so we wouldn't have to sit together, but he said he didn't mind, and in the end the four of us ended up sharing a table.

So there we were, four people—or more accurately, a guy named Cheon-woo doing most of the talking at me. After a bit of conversation, I could tell that while the one called Seo-hyeon was fine, Cheon-woo was not someone I could enjoy talking to.

At one point he tried to casually call me "noona," so I shut that down at the door. When he tried to scoot a little closer, I deployed social distancing.

Somewhere in the middle of all that, I figured out why Junior Gachi had been sitting alone—and Cheon-woo's condescending tone toward him only made me angrier.

So.

"I like them too. VTubers."

"Huh?"

"Is that maybe why Junior Gachi was sitting alone?"

"Ah... well. More or less."

"Then how about you leave the two of us to eat? I like VTubers too. Especially a group called Utopia. Oh—Junior Gachi said the same, right? I think you mentioned Eve was your favorite."

You're annoying, so please just go away.

I couldn't say it outright, so I wrapped it as carefully as I could. Thankfully they weren't so dense they missed the point—both of them left without a fight.

Then I snuck a glance at Junior Gachi's face.

Apparently I'd misread things a little. I'd assumed Junior Gachi was actually popular, and that sitting alone was just temporary.

I never imagined it was because he liked VTubers. Not in a million years.

Normally people keep that kind of thing under wraps, after all...

Some people might call that kind of openness stupid. But to me, it just looked—

Honest.

Of course, I'd still said something rude, and I'd made the whole situation awkward for him, so I apologized.

He didn't care about what had just happened at all. And hearing him talk, that felt completely natural.

Compared to those two from earlier, he hadn't dressed himself up at all—and somehow that made his face even more appealing. He was tall, built, and on top of everything else—

He'd already done his military service.

Thinking about it that way, those two guys' behavior probably just looked like little-kid tantrums to Junior Gachi.

Pfft.

I couldn't help laughing.

"Haha, sorry. I think I underestimated you, Junior Gachi. I figured you were just a bit of a timid guy. Turns out you're just someone with a really clear sense of self."

He shot back that he was timid, actually.

Hmm? I don't think so~

Would a timid person really walk up to a total stranger and offer to help? Even a kind person would find that hard to do with someone they'd never met.

"That was just a whim, though."

Even after I said that, he insisted his behavior that day had been nothing more than a whim.

"Still, I was grateful. And I'm sorry. The way things ended that day felt kind of awkward, and it was bothering me. Honestly... something had thrown me off. So please don't worry about it too much."

Someone who said he liked what he liked, and who didn't try to puff himself up for no reason.

That side of him only made me like him more.

So I wanted to get a little closer.

"...Junior Gachi."

"Yes?"

"Would it be okay if I spoke more casually with you?"

I told him I wanted us to be a little more comfortable with each other. Luckily Gachi agreed—though I didn't force him to drop the formal speech on his end, since he might still want some distance.

After that, our conversation got easier than before.

"Eve really is the best, right? Honestly, most of Utopia's fanbase is probably Adami."

"Hmm~ is that so~"

"The other members are fun when they're fun, but the one who always makes you laugh is Eve."

"That much, huh~"

But this guy... had he been talking about nothing but Eve this whole time!?

What about Kiri?

What about Kiri!!!???

I was a tiny bit—just a tiny bit—hurt, but after a fun conversation with Gachi, the first round finally wrapped up. People split into those heading home and those going for a second round, and a few of them invited me along.

I was starting to get tired, though...

When I said I was heading back, a bunch of people suddenly offered to walk me home.

Ugh... what a hassle.

That was when Gachi caught my eye. I'd been just a little, tiny bit disappointed earlier, so maybe I could mess with him a little?

"It's fine. I've got a bodyguard right here. Gachi and I live in the same building."

"Ah—yes. Well, that works."

Surprisingly, Gachi agreed right away, and Yun-a immediately dispersed the crowd. Then she gathered up the people going for round two and left for somewhere else.

Nice one, Yun-a.

"Shall we go, then?"

"Yes, let's."

We started heading home—and then.

Ziiing...

I felt a gaze on my back. When I turned around, the junior girl who'd been warily watching me earlier was staring. Or maybe she was looking at Gachi.

Hmm. So my earlier guess hadn't been completely wrong after all.

Not that I planned on helping her out~

I gave that junior a small smile and walked back to the mansion with Gachi.

With Gachi... they really had given him a good name.

We talked about all sorts of things on the way back. How I'd taken a long leave and was still a sophomore, and that something had happened a while back.

And then I found out—

This guy had no idea about the catchphrases Kiri had been pushing...

Haa. Patience. Getting mad at Gachi over that wouldn't be fair.

Even while holding back my frustration, trading jokes with him was so fun I completely lost track of time—until suddenly Gachi was just staring at me, blank-faced.

"What?"

"Huh?"

"No, you were staring."

Was something on my face? Had something splashed on me at the bar earlier?

I started fretting and checking over my clothes when Gachi spoke.

"Ah, sorry. I was just thinking... short hair really suits you."

...

..

.

Ah. I'd heard it.

That this hair suited me.

Just now, Yun-a hadn't mentioned my hair—and neither had the two guys who'd come to our table. Yun-a made sense, since she knew about the old days. Those two had probably been filled in by someone around them.

Did Gachi know? About what happened to me back then...

"..."

I stopped walking and looked at him too. But looking at his face, I decided no.

He'd never even had a chance to hear about me—he'd been sitting at the same table as me the whole time.

So it had just been genuine.

...Heh.

"Thanks. For saying that."

I was happy. The fact that the person who said my current hair suited me was Gachi—who knew nothing at all—made it feel even better.

Ahh, what is this feeling?

Something about it was so incredibly comfortable. And as I found myself smiling without meaning to—

"...That's a ninety-nine-point smile."

Gachi suddenly scored my smile. But ninety-nine? Why was one point missing?

"Huh? That's a weirdly specific score."

"Because a hundred is already taken."

"What is that supposed to mean? Hahaha."

A hundred was already taken, huh. A little annoying, honestly...

What meaning was packed into that perfect score, I had no way of knowing. You couldn't know everything about someone you'd only met yesterday.

But there was one thing I did know.

Apparently, being with Gachi... felt really, really good.