What You Must Never Do in a Confession Scene
The fatal night had passed, and the sun climbed once more into the sky.
Its light poured through the window and struck my eyes, so I sat up groggily from the bed. Today was Saturday—no classes, and I hadn’t made any plans with friends.
Even so, the reason I’d woken so early was…
“It wasn’t a dream after all, right?”
I needed to make certain whether yesterday’s events had been a dream or reality. No matter how hard I thought after opening my eyes, the memories remained sharp and clear.
Ah. This was definitely… not a dream.
“I guess I should feel a little relieved, too. Wait—what happened with Kiri’s stream?”
Just in case, I opened the fan café right away and checked the board.
“Whoa. Absolute chaos.”
Of course it was. Yesterday’s stream had ended the way it did. The café was in an uproar over Kiri. An official notice had already been posted, apologizing for the sudden interruption due to Kiri’s health issues and assuring everyone that she was safe and recovering.
Kiri herself had posted as well, saying she was fine now but would visit the hospital again today at the company’s suggestion, and that she planned to stream around tomorrow. She promised to explain everything properly on stream, yet the comments were filled with nothing but people telling her to rest as long as she needed.
She really is loved.
“Well, she is a charming person.”
…Who was I even talking about? I said it myself and still got confused.
Didn’t matter, though. Senior was Kiri, and Kiri was Senior. I already knew that.
“Haa… I still can’t calm down.”
There was another reason I’d woken so early.
I’d been excited without even realizing it…
The thrill of being the only one who knew the secret of the senior I’d fallen for, and the happiness of sharing that same secret with her.
Those feelings had kept me from sleeping properly at all.
“Am I a kid?”
They say love has no age, but right now I looked exactly like a child experiencing first love for the first time. It was a little pathetic…
Closing my eyes with a heart like that, of course I couldn’t sleep. Even when I finally drifted off, only Senior Wa Sol appeared in my dreams.
In the end, that same fluttery feeling from yesterday carried straight into the morning.
So of course this thought would surface.
“I want to see Senior Wa Sol.”
It had been there from the moment the feeling first hit. I checked my phone—just past nine.
Even if morning had come, there was no way Senior, who’d only returned from the ER last night, would be awake yet. Honestly, I wanted to call her right this second. I even had an excuse now.
I could just ask if her cold was any better.
I wanted to call… but the timing felt awkward.
“…She’ll be up by around eleven, right?”
I swore to myself I’d call at eleven and set an alarm for exactly that time.
…Why am I such a loser?
Waiting around until eleven felt impossible, so I left the house to get something to eat.
I was heading down the stairs, about to leave the apartment building, when—
Clunk.
Somewhere nearby, a door opened.
I turned toward the sound.
“Oh.” / “Ah…”
Another coincidence. The kind I’d been hoping for more than any other day.
“…H-hey.”
Senior greeted me in a weak voice, avoiding my eyes. Still tired, maybe.
“Yeah, good morning. Are you okay, Senior?”
“Mm… I’m fine. Physically.”
Physically? Ah—right. She’d gone through a lot emotionally on the phone last night.
“Haha, yeah, that part’s unavoidable.”
“…Yeah. Unavoidable.”
Ah, she was in rough shape. I wanted to do something for her. Hmm… if her body was okay…
“Have you eaten yet?”
“…No. I just woke up… or more accurately, I couldn’t sleep.”
“What?”
How much must she have been suffering to lose sleep over it? I was worried… and I wanted this too.
It should be fine to ask.
“Want to… grab a meal together?”
“What?”
“If you haven’t had breakfast… I’d like to eat with you.”
“…Is that okay for you, Gachi?”
Senior Wa Sol asked me as if she were genuinely surprised. Was it really that shocking?
“Of course it is.”
“Ha, but…”
Was she still worried about last night? Because I knew she was Kiri.
She probably didn’t know how to act around me. In that case, I wanted to put her at ease.
“I told you last night, didn’t I? Let’s pretend I never heard it. That means… I want things to stay the way they usually are.”
Yeah. That came out pretty well.
This should be enough for Senior to… wait, huh?
Why…
“To Gachi… it was only that much, huh…”
Why was Senior Wa Sol’s voice trembling like that? And more than that—
“Okay. Let’s go eat, then.”
Why was she showing me a smile like that?
It looked forced. If I had to score it… no, I didn’t even want to score it. That expression barely qualified as a smile at all.
My chest hurt so badly.
The place I took Senior Wa Sol was the little shop in the alley we’d visited before.
Somehow I felt that right now she’d prefer somewhere quiet over a crowded spot, so I chose it.
“What do you want? My treat this time.”
I asked her in front of the kiosk. Senior answered in a firm tone.
“No. We’ll pay separately.”
What was that just now? Split checks were normal enough, but something… felt different.
Not understanding the difference, I simply nodded, paid for my own order, and stepped aside. Senior immediately paid for hers as well.
Even after that—
“Um… about next week’s classes. Do you know how they’re going to go?”
“Normal. You’ll find out when next week comes.”
“Ah, okay.”
“The food here’s pretty ordinary, but the atmosphere makes me want to come back often.”
“Yeah.”
“Hahaha. Right?”
“…”
Conversation with Senior never really got going, even though the audio never cut out. On top of that, she never opened her mouth first.
Why…
That awkward atmosphere continued until the owner brought our food to the table. He looked at our faces and—
“Ah, the couple from last time?”
He misunderstood again.
Honestly, that kind of misunderstanding didn’t feel bad to me right now. Still, it was embarrassing…
“Ah, no, that’s—”
“We’re not a couple.”
While I was fumbling for an excuse, Senior denied the owner’s words in a tone even firmer than before. The way she looked at him was… almost empty of emotion.
“Hmm… is that so? Well then, enjoy your meal.”
The owner didn’t look flustered at all. He just set our food down with an easygoing smile and headed back to the kitchen.
For the first time I felt envious of someone with a personality like that. He looked completely unbothered.
Compared to him, I—
“Let’s eat.”
“…Okay.”
I had no idea what to do in this atmosphere. In the end, Senior Wa Sol and I didn’t say a single word until we’d finished everything.
The whole time, I honestly couldn’t taste a thing, and I felt like I was going to get indigestion.
After we finished, Senior stood up and spoke to me in a calm voice.
“I’m going to the restroom for a bit. You can head back first.”
“Ah—no. I’ll wait.”
“…Okay.”
Watching her back as she left with her pouch, I thought about what she’d just said.
I can go first… does that mean she doesn’t want to walk with me?
What does that even…
“Did you two fight?”
“Wah!”
A sudden voice right beside me made me yelp. I looked over—the owner from earlier was standing next to me.
A composed man in his forties, he was watching me with an amused expression.
“The vibe was completely different from last time. Last time it looked like if either of you confessed, you’d start dating on the spot.”
“…So you already knew we weren’t a couple.”
“Haha, you can tell just by looking. I just wanted to give you two a little push.”
Was this sharp intuition, or zero social awareness?
I didn’t know. Was this what real adults were like?
“We didn’t really fight. It’s just… I don’t know either.”
“Then there’s only one answer. You did something wrong.”
“What?”
Something wrong? Me?
All I’d done was take Senior to the hospital and talk on the phone for a bit at night. What could I have done wrong in any of that?
“…No matter how hard I think, I can’t find anything.”
“That’s only from your own perspective.”
With that, the owner placed a hand on my shoulder and gave it a light, gentle pat.
“Don’t forget. Even family you’ve lived with for years are still other people in the end. There can be things about them you don’t know, and because of that you might unintentionally touch something they’re sensitive about.”
“…If that’s the case, what should I do?”
I had a little social experience, but almost none with women, and I spent most of my time alone. I couldn’t find the answer myself.
To that question of mine, the owner answered as if it were obvious.
“You ask. Even if the response is ‘You don’t know why?’ you still have to. If you don’t know… but you still want to keep being with them, you ask and you work it out.”
“…Were you a counselor or something?”
“Back in school I did peer counseling, yeah.”
We definitely weren’t the same age, but still.
Hearing the owner’s words made me seriously consider that I might have made some kind of mistake.
“Thank you. I’ll try.”
“Great. Next time come back as a real couple, okay~?”
“…I’ll do my best.”
“Hahaha.”
After that unexpected counseling session, I waited for Senior Wa Sol in a slightly different mood than before. A little while later she returned to the table and the first thing she said was—
“You still haven’t left.”
…Maybe it was because of what the owner had said.
I was now certain I’d done something wrong.
The atmosphere between us hadn’t changed at all. No matter how much I tried to talk, Senior made no effort to keep the conversation going.
That mood lasted all the way until we reached the apartment building.
“I’ll head in, then.”
Senior said goodbye and started toward her place.
I called out to her.
“Senior Wa Sol.”
“…What?”
Still different from usual.
The way she looked at me, the way she spoke to me.
And the expression on her face when she saw me.
“Did I… do something wrong?”
“…No. You didn’t make a mistake, Gachi.”
“But right now, Senior… no matter how I look at it, you’re not like usual.”
Was it because I’d fallen for her? Normally I would’ve given up after a conversation like this.
But this was Senior Wa Sol, the one I liked. I wanted to clear this stifling feeling as soon as possible.
To me, she said—
“Stop it!”
Senior raised her voice.
“Like usual? What even is my ‘usual’? How long have you known me!? No—even if the me you know really is the usual me… there’s no way I could act that way… Was that whole thing so light to you, Gachi?”
It wasn’t light. Of course it wasn’t light that Senior was Kiri.
But was pretending I didn’t know really such a terrible thing? I just wanted things to stay the way they usually were.
I don’t know…
“Senior, I honestly don’t understand. Let me say this first—I’ve never once taken anything about you lightly. Not even what we talked about on the phone last night. Because I…”
“I’m sure. You wouldn’t say even that lightly. But Gachi… why…”
Drip. Drip.
Seeing that, I clutched at the center of my chest. My heart hurt so much… I couldn’t stand it.
Wanting to stop Senior’s tears, I started to step a little closer—
when she said something I had no way of understanding.
“Why… sniff… are you being so kind to the person you dumped… If you dumped me, just… leave me alone…”
…What?
“…What?”
A completely blank response that didn’t fit the atmosphere at all. I was genuinely stunned.
The person I dumped?
Who? Whom?
No… from the way she was talking, I… dumped Senior?
When? Where?
…Why!!!???