Forgiveness (1)
The mansion felt needlessly empty when I came back alone. For the record, my senior had left the café before I did… which, of course, made perfect sense.
The words she'd left behind as she walked out still circled in my head.
Which meant… she was angry, but she didn't want things to get weird between us.
It also sounded like she didn't want to forgive me — and yet she did.
Still carrying that heavy, sour mood, I changed into something comfortable just to give my body a break, and pulled up Eve's stream.
Well — I'd already been listening through my earphones the whole time.
"Episode three's already starting."
Of course, even watching this, I still felt bad about Senior Wa Sol.
But still… I…
"Haa. No. Drop it. It's already done."
I shook my head and tried to shake the gloom off with it.
For now, Eve's stream came first.
"Let's see… I need to put on episode three."
I was going to watch Octopus Game 2 on my laptop and run Eve's stream on my phone, so I powered the laptop on.
It was pretty old, but it still ran.
While I was booting up the laptop, Eve got a message from Kiri.
Luckily, it looked like I'd finish setting up before episode three started.
What did she send to get that kind of reaction?
More importantly, episode three… ah, never mind.
Oh — an Eve–Kiri collab. They'd been doing those a lot lately.
The first one had been a coincidence, but still.
Huh? A challenge letter?
Out of nowhere?
Unlike high school, university lets you pick your own classes. There are still required credits for majors and electives, so it isn't total freedom — but at least you can shape your schedule enough that when you wake up changes by the day.
Mondays might start at nine, Tuesdays at one in the afternoon, Wednesdays at ten — that kind of thing.
"Yaaawn. At least I won't be late today."
I got up with more time to spare than yesterday, ate a quick breakfast, washed my face, and changed. While I was at it, I naturally checked the Utopia café for announcements.
"Eve versus Kiri, head-on. Pretty sudden."
The comments under the post were roughly the same as mine — but the excitement outweighed the surprise.
Until now, Utopia had always treated each other carefully; even their competitions ended on good terms. An open duel like this was a first.
"The duel is tomorrow, right?"
Apparently they'd decided that sending a challenge and fighting on the spot was less effective than promoting it on stream the day before. Both of them said they'd go into the details on today's broadcasts.
"Today's stream is at seven… I can finish class and wait without rushing."
Thankfully I didn't have any other plans today, so—
"…"
Ah. I'd thought of it again.
Senior… she was probably still mad, wasn't she?
She'd told me not to act awkward, but treating her like nothing had happened also felt rude.
…I had no idea.
"Haa. Just go to school."
I wanted an unhurried walk, so I left the house with about thirty minutes until class. I went down the stairs, and at the front gate of the mansion—
"…Senior."
"Gachi."
We ran into each other. Again. By pure chance.
What kind of fate was this, honestly.
I'd been hoping that particular coincidence would take the day off.
"Um… did you get home okay? No — wait, that's not — about yesterday, I…"
I should have apologized before asking how she was.
I'd mixed up the order and stalled mid-sentence when—
Thwack.
"Eh?"
A sharp little sting landed on my forehead. When I focused, Senior was pointing at me with her index finger, smiling.
Ah. She'd flicked me.
"I told you yesterday. Act normal."
"…Yes. Still, though."
"I know. It's not easy."
Not easy? That was putting it lightly.
I'd hurt her because of me.
"But honestly… seeing you that flustered was a little reassuring."
"Reassuring?"
"It meant yesterday still really mattered to you."
"…Of course it did."
"Then that's enough. That's all I needed. Just treat me like usual."
…I wasn't sure I was allowed to feel this way, but looking at the senior who said that to me—
I felt grateful.
"Well. 'Usual' is a stretch when we've known each other less than a week. Hehe."
"That's true."
Just her smiling like that was comfort enough. All I could feel was thanks.
"Hehe. One o'clock class?"
"Yes. I can actually make it on time today."
"Professors like Yu Eun-yeong are rare, so be careful~ My morning class just ended, so I'm heading in. Pay attention in class."
"Yes. See you."
I bowed in greeting and left the mansion. And the steps I took toward campus… were lighter than I'd expected.
In our department, first-years usually prioritize electives over major courses. The class I was in now was one of the required general-education ones, and among the faces filling the room I recognized a few I'd seen at least once.
Of course, they'd already found friends and sat together. No one sat next to me.
Yesterday Senior asked if people's view of me had changed. Looks like it hadn't.
Well — after the afterparty, I hadn't exchanged a single message with anyone except Senior Wa Sol. This was only natural.
"…Hyung."
Someone spoke into that thought. I turned toward the voice.
"Gachi-hyung… um, can I sit with you?"
"Hae-an."
Hae-an was there, avoiding my eyes.
…Right. That day I'd told him he could go, and in the end he had left my side.
"Yeah. It's fine."
"Okay."
The seat I'd been sure would stay empty filled up, and I felt a little steadier for it. I quietly took out my pen and notebook. Hae-an finished getting ready beside me.
For a while neither of us said anything. Then Hae-an spoke first.
"Hyung… I'm sorry about that day. I shouldn't have left."
"I told you to go. You didn't do anything wrong."
"Still… I should have stayed. But the atmosphere around us…"
I'd felt it at the freshman welcome party too.
He really was a good kid.
Given how that room had felt, putting distance between us would have been understandable — and he'd been carrying it this whole time?
Now I was the one who felt bad.
…Ah. So this was what it felt like.
When the other person took something seriously.
It really was reassuring.
"…Alright. I forgive you. Just act comfortable around me. We've known each other less than a week, but still."
I said a line I'd heard somewhere as if it were my own, and Hae-an let out a breath like a weight had lifted.
"And drop the formal speech again. We already agreed on that."
"Thanks… Ah, and hyung."
"Yeah?"
"Actually…"
Hae-an trailed off, pulled out his phone, and turned the screen toward me.
On it—
"I've been watching Utopia since the day you told me about them. They're fun."
—the Diy app was open, and the recent watch history was full of Utopia members' streams.
And—
"I… like Kiri the most…"
Next to his nickname, KiriKiriRing, sat the Hara emoticon — proof he'd subscribed to Kiri.
The class Hae-an and I sat through together… started teaching on day one.
I was starting to understand a little of how Senior Wa Sol had felt yesterday.
Class on the first day… it was tiring.
"I really didn't think they'd go that hard from day one."
"Right? I let my guard down and got hit with it."
Neither of us had eaten lunch yet, so we decided to grab food together and headed to a place nearby that was supposed to have good spicy stir-fried pork. We were mid-complaint about the lecture when—
"Hae-an, you eating here?"
A voice I was pretty sure I'd heard before called Hae-an's name.
I turned — and the faces looked familiar too…
Ah. The guys from the afterparty. The ones Senior Wa Sol shut down.
Definitely faces I'd seen. They seemed to know Hae-an well enough to greet him naturally, and he greeted them back.
"Yeah, I'm eating with Gachi-hyung."
"Ah. Hello, Otaku-hyung."
"Cheon-woo, call him by his name."
Cheon-woo still looked at me with that same glare, and his tone was ice-cold. Hae-an's face tightened a little at the attitude, but I shook my head to show it was fine.
"Yeah. It's been a while, both of you."
"Hearing formal speech from someone like you makes us sound old. Just talk casual."
"Please do. Cheon-woo's being polite for once, after all."
I couldn't tell if that was genuine courtesy or a roundabout dig at me.
But if they wanted casual, casual was the polite thing to give them.
"Alright. You two can drop it too."
"Okay, then I'm going informal."
"Ah — then I'll call you Gachi-hyung."
At least this one used my actual name. Was I supposed to be grateful for that…
Cheon-woo and Seo-hyeon.
Talking with the two who'd gotten turned down by Senior Wa Sol at the afterparty made splitting up for lunch feel awkward, so we ended up sharing a table.
"So, Otaku-hyung. You walked Senior Wa Sol home last time, right?"
Straight to Wa Sol. He wasn't even trying to hide the interest.
"I did. Why?"
"No reason. Just… wondering if I could come hang out at your place."
"Hey…"
Hae-an cut in at the transparent ulterior motive, but Cheon-woo ignored him and stared at me. What I said to that stare was:
"No."
"What? Why?"
"Because it's obvious you'd just bother Senior Wa Sol. If you ever come just to hang out with me, I'll think about it."
"Ah…"
Maybe because I'd been blunter than expected, Cheon-woo gave an awkward laugh, scratched his cheek, and looked at Seo-hyeon. Seo-hyeon glanced at me and shook his head — but Cheon-woo, clearly not liking something, let out a long sigh.
"Haa. But hyung… you've gotten pretty close with Senior Wa Sol, huh?"
"Does it look that way?"
"Yeah. You sat next to her yesterday, and you left together too."
"Ah, I know about that. Some of the upperclassmen near me asked who that guy was after seeing it."
These two were pretty invested in Senior Wa Sol.
Or maybe they just wanted to mess with me.
"You're not already dating or anything… right?"
Cheon-woo asked it like he was testing the water, and the shop owner's words from the day before yesterday floated up in my mind.
Me, dating my senior?
"…Do you guys think I match with her?"
"No." / "…Dunno."
"Yeah."
Three different answers — but Hae-an's was noticeably the most positive. That must have been why Cheon-woo shot him an irritated look. Hae-an didn't care at all and kept going.
"You and Wa Sol… Senior, was it? You two look really good together. Senior Wa Sol doesn't smile much, usually — but around you she does. And honestly, you looked like you were having a great time talking to her too."
"…Really?"
"Yeah. So at the afterparty, watching you two talk, I thought, ah — they fit."
That was how it had looked?
Talking with Senior Wa Sol had been fun, and easy, that much was true.
Though — her not smiling much as a rule was news to me.
"Tsk." / "Aaaah~"
Cheon-woo made a face like something tasted bad, and Seo-hyeon watched him carefully.
Judging by that reaction, maybe they'd felt the same way.
"Hyung should be watching his… VTuber? thing, shouldn't he? Right?"
Cheon-woo clicked his tongue and tilted a corner of his mouth up as he said it.
Looking at him—
Hae-an, who'd clearly hit his limit—
"Haa… seriously…"
—glared at Cheon-woo.
"Hey. Han Cheon-woo."
"Ah, what?"
"Cut it out."
"…That look takes me back."
A nasty tension filled the space between Hae-an and Cheon-woo as they stared each other down. Seo-hyeon tried to pull Cheon-woo back; Cheon-woo clicked his tongue and finally looked away from Hae-an.
"Tsk. What's that otaku even—"
Crash.
Something shattered, cutting Cheon-woo off.
"I said cut it out."
"…What are you going to do about this? The food's all over the floor."
Hae-an had stood up so suddenly the table shook and a plate went down. Cheon-woo shot up just as hard, and a few more dishes followed. Neither of them looked ready to back off. Seo-hyeon, beside them, seemed to decide he should step in and started to rise, watching my face for a cue.
"What? Got something to say?"
"I said cut it out. And apologize to Gachi-hyung."
Two people locking eyes like that pulled every gaze in the restaurant our way.
Ah. This was getting uncomfortable.
"To him?"
"Yes. To Gachi-hyung."
"Don't really feel like it. Not to someone like this."
Apparently I had a pretty bad image with Cheon-woo.
As for why… I honestly wasn't sure. Liking VTubers alone shouldn't have been enough for this.
…But more than that.
"Guys. That's enough."
"Kh—!" / "What kind of strength—"
I grabbed Hae-an and Cheon-woo by the shoulders and forced them back into their seats. Then I looked at Seo-hyeon.
"…"
Seo-hyeon, who'd been halfway up, sat back down.
I let out a long breath, bowed my head to the people around us in apology, and went to the restroom for a mop and a broom.
Seeing that must have rattled him, because Hae-an hurried over.
"Hyung, I'll do it. I spilled it."
"Then you sweep up the food. I'll mop the floor."
"…Okay. Sorry."
Sorry for what, exactly.
I knew perfectly well what he'd gotten angry over.
"It's fine. You two?"
"…Tch."
Cheon-woo clicked his tongue and walked out of the restaurant. Seo-hyeon scratched his head watching him go, glanced at me for a second—
—and gave a short bow before following him out.
An apology? Or just a goodbye?
"Haa. It's cleaned up. Let's eat fast and get out of here."
"Okay…"
In the end we shoveled down our food under every eye in the place, apologized to the owner one more time, and left.