Promises, and a Doll Made of Flesh
"Will you promise me… just a few things?"
I tossed the question out casually at the monster, who had just found one of my pubic hairs fallen on the floor while vacuuming — and was now holding it up, studying it with careful attention.
Instead of answering, the monster simply turned its gaze toward me, conveying that I should go on.
"Hmm… do you remember? What I said when we first met, when I said I'd become your boyfriend. About how, someday, my feelings might change — and I might choose to have you kill me."
"…I remember."
The corners of the monster's eyes narrowed slowly. It stared at me for a long moment, and then, unexpectedly, it cut me off before I could continue.
"The me of right now does not want to kill you, Hyun-ok. So even if it were your choice, that is the one thing I could not grant."
I was startled by the unforeseen answer, and at the same time a laugh escaped me — because for the very first time, the monster had gotten it wrong when reading my mind.
The way it tilted its head at a subtle angle, puzzling over the meaning of my laughter, struck me as somehow adorable.
"No… I don't want to die right now, either. That's not why I brought it up. I was just asking if you remembered."
"…I remember, and that's all."
There was no shift in the monster's expression, but to me — long since accustomed to that flatness — it somehow looked relieved.
"The answer to that question still hasn't been decided. So for the time being, I intend to go on living with you just like this… because I want to live. And in order to do that, there are things I'd like you to keep. Of course, you're free to refuse once you've heard them."
"Hyun-ok."
"Yeah?"
When the monster suddenly looked at me with such a grave tone and face, this time it was me who tensed up a little.
The monster regarded me in silence for several seconds, then quietly smiled, folding a trace of softness into its unfeeling voice.
"I love the life I have now. To keep this life, I would listen to whatever you asked of me."
That faint smile, lit by the moonlight through the window, and that voice — so filled with human emotion that I found myself staring, entranced.
I stayed dazed for a moment, captivated by something I couldn't name, before I barely gathered myself and spoke.
"Ah, umm… th-thank you for saying that much. Ahem. Then… here goes. I'd like it if you didn't kill or hurt humans. At least, not while I'm providing your meals."
"That is far too simple a thing. Is there nothing else?"
"Ah… really…?"
I knew the monster was consuming my semen to avoid the eyes of humans, but I hadn't expected it to agree so readily.
"The second thing… I'd like you to follow what humans call law, ethics, and morality as much as possible. So not just killing people — small things too, like not stealing, not jaywalking on a red light. Look, I know I don't have any right to say this to you. I'm not some moral paragon, and I don't exactly live by every law on the books… but still, I'd like you to follow them as much as you can."
Setting law aside, ethics and morality were, from the start, things even humans found difficult to judge — subjective things that shifted with the situation, the mood of the moment.
That was why I emphasized as much as possible to the monster rather than absolutely.
And besides, if the monster promised to keep these things and then simply did as it pleased behind my back, I would have no way of ever knowing.
So this could never rise beyond the level of a promise left entirely to conscience — no contract, no legal force, nothing but words.
And yet I wanted to believe in some fragment of humanity in the monster. It was because I did believe that I was saying these things at all.
"And about hurting or killing humans — I think self-defense would be fine. You know, if your life is threatened, or things reach that kind of a point."
It wasn't that I held human life to be sacred.
In that same spirit — I was afraid of hurting someone, but if someone tried to hurt me, I would fight back too.
Perhaps that was simply natural for any living thing, and I didn't want to bind even the natural.
"Understood. All of it. I will keep these promises, without fail."
The monster said it with certainty, looking me straight in the eye.
I didn't feel that those eyes were lying — and I didn't want to believe they were, either.
"Thank you."
When I offered my gratitude with all sincerity, the monster rolled its eyes to the side, feigning thought about something, then looked back at me and spoke.
"There is one promise I would like to ask of you in return."
"What is it? Just say the word."
"You may lust after other human women. You may touch their bodies, kiss them, have sex with them. But you must never give another woman your semen. Whether inside her, into her mouth, or in any other form — it does not matter. Those acts, to the me of right now, look very close to what humans call cheating."
"Well obviously I won't. I have a girlfriend, in case you hadn't noticed."
Asking someone not to finish during sex was contradictory, sure — but that situation was never going to arise, so it didn't matter.
Sad as it was to say, there were no women around me, and even if there were, no woman would ever fall for a guy like me.
"You are attractive enough, Hyun-ok. In that sense, I find myself slightly worried now that other women might take an interest in you. And also — I would prefer that you not masturbate to pornography, as much as possible."
"…H-how did you know that?"
That sudden turn at the end caught me completely off guard.
Some people might ask: you have a pretty girlfriend who satisfies your libido on demand every single day — why would you watch porn and jerk off?
But anyone who's actually had a girlfriend would understand.
Girlfriend or wife or otherwise, a man is a creature who will inevitably end up masturbating to porn. It has a strange appeal that sex itself doesn't.
Not that it came up much, given that I had a monster who would realize any porn fantasy in vivid reality — but still.
"Open the window to air the room out. Flush your precious meal down the toilet. Even so, when you climax, my pheromones cannot be erased."
"Pheromones? Seriously…"
"Or is it… that I fail to satisfy you, Hyun-ok?"
When the monster lowered its eyes and put on a mournful expression, I frantically waved my hands.
"No, no, it's not that! It's… umm… do you call this force majeure… is this just what men are like… it's… hmm… I'm sorry. As much as possible… yeah, I'll avoid it as much as I can."
"Thank you. But I feel uneasy, as though I am pressuring you too much. You may still do it — only tell me when you do. Above all, please, please do not throw away your semen."
When the monster — for the first time — laced its plea with the word please, it struck me deep, and the resolve to never do it again sank down into my bones.
"I'll say it again and again — my body is yours to use freely, anytime, anywhere. You provide me with…"
"—survival, and I provide you with nothing but a body… that's what you were about to say, right? Got it. If you want to say it, then I'll use your body… I mean, I'll have sex with you."
"I love you, oppa."
The monster spoke in a sultry, honeyed tone and smiled sweetly — then abruptly sat down beside me on the bed, hooked its arm through mine, and pressed its full chest openly against my elbow.
"And with that in mind, oppa…"
When the monster began to slide a hand toward my thigh, I caught the intent and shot up out of my seat.
"Ha-ha… I-I'm gonna go take a walk!"
"If it's a change of mood you want, I could provide that…"
Sliiip.
Sungha pulled open the collar of her top, shamelessly revealing the pink nipple beneath, and went on enticing me.
"Sorry! I'll be right back!"
Certain that if I kept looking I'd surrender to the temptation, I hurried out the door without so much as a glance back.
The sex with Sungha was incredible — but it drained me so completely that the next day was rough.
Of course, she provided food and comforts that more than made up for the exhaustion, and she too gauged my condition, asking for sex — no, meals — in moderation.
I loved all of it. As a man, there was no happiness greater; they were dreamlike days. But every now and then, a man wants to laze around and have a little time to himself.
"Hyun-ok. Before you go, I would like you to take this."
Having apparently accepted that it couldn't hold me here, the monster reverted to its usual flat tone and reverently offered up, with both hands, a stuffed doll small enough to rest entirely in my palm.
It was shaped something like a teddy bear — and honestly, much as I felt bad about it, it was eerie and unsettling.
"I appreciate it, but why a doll…?"
Even as I took it, the texture that met my hand was oddly alien compared to its outward appearance.
A normal stuffed toy is soft, squishy with the padding inside — but this thing was sticky, and it gave like something half-melted.
"I made it from a piece of my own flesh. I tried to make it as pretty as I could, but I have little experience or memory of such things, so it turned out poorly. I am sorry…"
"N-no, it's fine! It's… it's pretty! Cute, even…"
Realizing too late that I'd been cringing, I hastily covered for myself.
Wait — made from a piece of its flesh…?
…Oh.
"I am sorry…"
"It's f-fine, I said! Anyway — why are you giving me this?"
When the monster apologized again at my expression, which had gone grave all over again, I hurried to change the subject.
"In my heart, I want nothing more than to stay attached to you wherever you go. But you have your freedom, and I have no right to bind it. Even if I had, doing so would surely make you hate me. So instead — not for my sake, but for yours — I would like you to carry this when I am not with you. The doll will relay your location to me in real time, so that I may come running the instant you are in danger. And it will protect you."
Looking into the monster's earnest eyes, I found I had no desire to ask what, exactly, this doll was.
If anything, I wanted to thank it.
"Okay. Thank you. Either way, it means you're looking out for me, right? Hmm… hold on… could you bring your face close for a second?"
The monster blinked once, a question in its eyes — it clearly hadn't understood what I meant — but it obediently leaned its face in toward me, just as I'd asked.
Smooch.
"W-well, I'm off!"
Gathering my courage, I stole a kiss on the monster's cheek like an ambush, and then — without even seeing her expression — I fled the house as fast as my legs would carry me.
"…"
For a long while, the monster stood in silence, staring at the door through which its boyfriend had vanished. Then it stuck out its tongue and slowly licked the cheek he had kissed, savoring it.
Faint, but unmistakable — his scent. His taste.
It etched the memory of that moment — his lips pressed to its cheek — into the deepest part of itself, swore never to forget it for as long as it existed, and replayed it, turning it over again and again.
And then it felt something indescribably hot surge up from within — something resembling the thing humans called sexual desire.
Ah…
I want to eat him… I want to eat him, I want to eat him, I want to eat him, I want to eat him, I want to eat him, I want to eat him, I want to eat him, I want to eat him, I want to eat him, I want to eat him, I want to eat him, I want to eat him…
It ached — madly, desperately — for his semen, for everything his body produced, and it hungered to ravish him until he was an absolute wreck.
His face as he played with his own body and spilled his desires — the look that went slack and blissful as he hurtled toward his climax, drowning in pleasure — it wanted, needed, to see it in this very moment, so badly it could lose its mind.
"Hh…"
Drip.
Sssss…
Saliva spilled from the corner of its mouth and fell — and the linoleum where it landed began to melt.
It would have to repair the floor before he came home, subtly, so he wouldn't notice. But right now, quelling this desire unlike anything it had ever felt came first.
It made for the bathroom, buried its face deep into a pair of his unwashed boxer briefs, and inhaled, long and slow.
"Snnnnfff… ah… good. So good… so good… Hyun-ok… yes. Yes… snnnff… ahh… Hyun-ok… I wish you would come home soon."
Breathing in his scent again and again, it barely held its excitement in check — then turned its gaze toward the direction he had gone, and murmured.