Chapter 5
Chapter 5
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 5
Chapter Title: That Day, Seo Jinhyuk's World Collapsed
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"The kids like our Yerim, that's why. She must be embarrassed."
That was what my parents always said, hugging me tight and patting my back whenever I brought up school.
Our daughter is just too pretty, they would say. They're jealous.
But.
ㅡIf they like me, they shouldn't act like that…
If they like me… shouldn't they cherish me and treat me preciously?
Like how Mom and Dad always look at me with loving eyes, or how Oppa grumbles but still takes care of me.
But the way the kids around me looked at me or acted…
Am I too young to understand?
I always kept that unresolved question tucked away deep in my heart.
Mom and Dad were so busy they hardly came home.
I didn't want to worry them.
So I had no choice but to stuff it down inside. Making sure they wouldn't find out.
Deep inside.
So deep even I couldn't find it.
…It wasn't like that from the beginning, I think.
At first, way more kids approached me with fondness, saying my eyes were pretty and amazing as they gazed into them.
But at some point.
Kids started feeling fear or disgust toward my eyes, one by one.
And whenever my eyes turned gray while I was with the others.
That's when I had to start explaining myself, turning into the criminal.
The reason why my eyes turned gray didn't matter to them at all.
They just said,
"Why did your eyes turn gray? You hate being with us? If you do, just say so."
And I'd reply,
"No. I don't know either…"
The first few times, they let it slide like that.
But after it happened once, twice, three times… eventually, everyone started avoiding me.
That's when I realized.
Emotions you can't hide are no different from a curse.
The more my eyes glowed, the darker my world became.
My eyes, which everyone had loved at first for being pretty and wondrous.
At some point, had become the target of mockery.
And amid all that, there was one thing that never stopped.
"Um… will you go out with me?"
A confession from a boy whose name I didn't even know, someone I'd just seen for the first time today.
I refused because I couldn't accept, saying I was sorry.
But at some point, those rejected boys started leading the charge in mocking me.
"Hey, change your eye color."
"…No."
"They're just gray eyes anyway, right? They're always gray."
"No, I saw her eye color change."
The boys snickering right in front of me, making my eyes the butt of their jokes—what was so funny?
The girls giggling from afar as they watched.
What were they saying? That I'm pulling guys' attention again?
ㅡStop it, please…
I never wanted eyes like these.
One day, amid those gray days that dragged on.
My parents told Oppa and me that we had to move due to a transfer.
They apologized to us.
But I sincerely told them it was okay.
Maybe, just maybe.
Couldn't I start fresh there…?
I told myself not to get my hopes up, but I couldn't help it. Yeah, I couldn't.
So I spent every night with my heart fluttering.
And after leaving that place and settling into our new home.
On the day I headed to my new school with pounding excitement.
I noticed the gazes directed at me and realized.
…It's the same here.
I shouldn't have hoped. What an idiot.
I'd been a fool for getting excited before school, thinking this time would be different.
Maybe it wasn't the place that was the problem… maybe it was me?
A day passed. Two days.
Before I knew it, a whole month had gone by, and there was no one around me.
In the noisy classroom, I felt this silence.
Like I was in a different space all alone.
…It's okay. I'm used to it now.
At least no one's bullying me anymore…
That day too, after the long classes ended, I stood from my seat to head home, my steps heavy.
Thud.
Am… I going to be alone like this forever?
Thud.
No, I'll make friends someday.
Thud.
………When?
With every step, thoughts flooded my mind, and suddenly the tip of my nose stung.
ㅡI don't want to cry. I didn't do anything wrong…
I tried giving my eyes strength late, to hold back the tears.
But starting with one drop that escaped, tears began streaming down my cheeks.
That's when it happened.
"…You okay?"
A boy suddenly spoke up beside me.
Seeing he wore the same uniform as Oppa, he seemed like a middle schooler.
He must have seen me crying, because even though we were strangers, he offered to walk me home. For a moment, I recalled the school lesson about not following strangers.
But somehow, it didn't feel like he had bad intentions.
I could sense he was worried about me.
…His face looked kind, too.
Still, he was a stranger, so I was about to refuse.
"…Are you Seo Jinhyuk's little sister?"
…Whoa.
I was so startled my heart skipped.
How did he know…? Oppa wouldn't go around talking about me…
Oppa knew about my situation at the old school, too.
Whenever we ran into each other at school, he'd stick by my side, or on days classes ended early, he'd wait in front of my classroom to walk home together.
And worried I'd feel uncomfortable, he'd never once brought his friends home.
…Oppa surely had friends, unlike me.
Anyway, I couldn't believe Oppa had talked about me to his friend.
Oppa wasn't the type to gossip about me out of boredom.
Why?
I was curious. Why had Oppa told him about me?
In the end, unable to resist my curiosity, I let him walk me home, and I noticed something odd.
ㅡWhy… why does it feel like he's watching my reaction…?
Because I'm Oppa's sister…?
I didn't quite get it… but he might be a nice guy…?
Because he bought me ice cream.
Nom-
I took a bite of the chocolate ice cream.
…Tasty.
Walking home from school and sharing a snack with someone felt so novel after so long—I was a little happy.
No, actually, going home with someone other than Oppa was so rare that I was… really happy. A lot.
"Tasty?"
"…A little."
…Wh-whoa.
His sudden question startled me.
It felt like he'd seen right through my heart, so I snapped back curtly without thinking.
Then,
"Just a little?"
Seeing him deflate at my answer, I panicked.
ㅡ…Wh-what do I do?
No, it really is tasty…!
It's just been so long that I got shy…
Gathering courage late, I admitted the truth, and he grinned like nothing happened. I felt relieved beyond words.
As I sighed in relief and looked up.
ㅡAh, did I mess up…?
For some reason, he was staring at me silently.
"Did I upset you…?"
Worried, I asked, and he said he was looking at my eyes.
Instinctively, I covered them.
…C-calm down. Time to get used to it, right?
Anyway, he'll think it's weird.
I'm used to it now. It's familiar, so I braced myself not to get hurt…
"Huh? No? They're so pretty."
…………Huh?
Did I… hear that… wrong?
I doubted my ears for a second.
To check if he was serious, I peeked cautiously, and his sparkling eyes fixed on me seemed to scream sincerity.
That my eyes were pretty. That he wanted to know my feelings.
Those words I'd longed to hear so badly—tears nearly burst out.
…But it's a happy day.
Those words,
I'd waited so long for those words.
I held back. Held back tight.
Today.
Because it's a happy day.
It was fun.
Talking with someone who called my eyes special, not weird.
My one complaint…
………Why didn't he ask my name or age?
I knew he was Oppa's friend, so calling him Oppa worked for age…
But he didn't know my name or age.
…Maybe.
Is this a one-time thing? Is that it?
……I hate that. It feels like I want to know more about you.
Can't you ask? I sent pleading looks with my eyes so many times.
But this O…ppa kept changing the subject, and I got a little mad.
…He's not doing it on purpose, right?
I was avoiding calling him Oppa too, struggling myself…
Ugh, the "Oppa" I say at home every day felt so hard with him.
In the end, swallowing my shyness, I learned his name was Han Woojin.
Han Woojin, Han Woojin… Han Woojin Op…pa. Han Woojin Oppa.
Yeah, kinda… I like it a little.
As I secretly repeated the hard-won name in my head, we'd arrived home.
……Already?
Home had felt so far away before.
It felt so short, like we'd moved without me knowing.
…I want to walk more. Who knows when I'll see him again.
Can I see you tomorrow? Can't we meet tomorrow too?
…I want to see you again.
I just wanted to know a little more about the Oppa in front of me.
Pondering how to say all the words swirling in my head, I decided.
To drag him to our house so he couldn't run away.
It was a huge success.
Hiding my nonstop pounding heart, I mustered courage and asked him to come again.
Only then, hearing him promise he would, did I relax.
"Euuu~..."
Legs giving out, I collapsed in my room, covering my burning face.
If you don't come.
…I'll hate you. A lot.
"Oppa."
"Yeah?"
"Do you watch dirty stuff too, Oppa?"
"Pfft!!!"
Ah, shoulda asked later.
I felt a bit sorry seeing Oppa spit out his water.
"Suddenly… what're you talking about?"
"Han Woojin Op…pa said you watch dirty stuff too."
"That crazy bastard telling my little sister…"
Oppa didn't deny watching it either.
Seeing neither would lie to me about not watching, a smile tugged at my lips.
"Oppa. I'll keep it secret from Mom and Dad, so can you do me one favor?"
"No, I didn't say I do… Anyway, what favor?"
"Tomorrow, can you tell Han Woojin Op…pa to come over like today?"
"…I have academy tomorrow, so I'll be home late?"
"Yeah, I know."
"………Huh?"
That day, Oppa wore an expression like his world had collapsed.