Chapter 17
Chapter 17
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 17
Chapter Title: 15. The Fact That I Like Someone...
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"Why does Han Woojin suddenly look so damn happy?"
"No idea. Maybe he took a massive, refreshing piss in the bathroom or something."
"Ugh, that's so gross—seriously, that's why you guys don't have girlfriends!"
"Anyone would think Kang Yuri has a boyfriend the way you're talking."
"Fair. Totally fair."
I'd looked like I was on the verge of death just heading to the bathroom, but now here I was, grinning ear to ear after coming back. My friends started bickering among themselves at the sight.
And how did I feel watching that?
Safe!
Ha, you again, Han Woojin?
Honestly, while I was waiting for Yerim in front of the bathroom, I'd been trembling, wondering what to even say to her. Should I just go with something casual like 'Dogja?' But the moment our eyes met, words flowed out of me smoother than I ever thought possible.
I couldn't help it.
Her sullen face from inside the bathroom had lit up the instant our eyes locked.
Even though I'd already seen everything, she was trying so cutely to hide it and play it cool.
All my prepared excuses flew out the window, and I had no choice but to face her honestly too.
Following her to the bathroom was the right call. I'm a genius.
After that, I returned to my seat with a profound sense of peace, like the Yangtze River itself. Soon, I spotted Han Sea and Yerim getting up from their seats out of the corner of my eye.
I glanced over instinctively, and my eyes met Yerim's pink ones—she'd been looking my way too.
Sway sway—
Like she was waving just for me.
Seeing her flash that eye smile, giving a little wave from her chest level, made me smile without thinking.
'See you later.'
I wasn't sure if the silent words would get across, but I mouthed them exaggeratedly and waved secretly under the table. Her eyes crinkled even more.
After the two of them left, the immediate crisis was averted.
Now no one could ruin my good mood, and the result was right in front of me: my idiot friends.
"Ha, you kids. What do you even know?"
"What're you on about? When's your birthday anyway?"
"You lost your mind?"
"You okay, Woojin? Feeling sick?"
"Don't raise your voices, you little punks."
With my heartfelt facts hitting home, the monkeys grumbled and got all riled up. I stood up from my seat, dragging them along.
We'd chatted enough; my body was itching to move after sitting in the cafe all day.
After some debate on where to go, we settled on karaoke.
Honestly, if Kang Yuri wasn't there...
Three guys would've naturally gone to the PC room.
But after she warned us not to even think about it, tough guy Kim Yohan muttered, "A girl... talking back?" and got his shin kicked. We had no choice but to compromise on karaoke.
"You iiiidiot—seriously, nooooo!!"
Kim Yohan, this jerk had been grumbling right up until we arrived, like "What's this karaoke bullshit?"
But the second we got there, he was all hyped up, first in line reserving songs and belting them out. It was ridiculous.
"Listening to that idiot's voice is seriously gonna send me to the ER."
"...Agreed."
I couldn't deny Kang Yuri's disgusted comment this time. He really sang like crap.
Hmm.
With what sounded like the funeral dirge of KaX stabbing my ears—ER? ER?—as background music, I scanned the karaoke room.
Yerim and I had agreed to link up later about where we'd each gone today, but thinking about it, there was no real need to wait, right?
Later, we could just swap stories about what happened here and what we did for fun.
Click—
Should I send a pic? I snapped a photo of the room, and Kang Yuri next to me asked,
"Whatcha taking?"
"Huh? Oh, just to say we came to karaoke."
"To who? Your parents?"
"What parents? We're not elementary kids."
"Then who?"
"...Doesn't matter."
"Wait, a girlfriend? Nah, you said you don't have one. A crush then?"
Damn. Is this woman's intuition? Her instincts were annoyingly sharp.
I couldn't respond, and she squealed with interest. Soon the other two guys turned to stare too, wondering what was up.
"What? Han Woojin got a crush?"
"You sure you didn't mean 'scam'?"
"Wow, so boring. For real."
"Your face."
"It's not like that, you idiots. Just... well, my friend's little sister. We've gotten close lately."
Watching them bicker again, I figured they'd make a bigger fuss if I didn't spill, so I came clean.
...Even though I didn't want to.
I'd never shared stuff like this with friends or acted this way before, so it was embarrassing.
But if they asked why I was sending pics to my friend's little sister, I wouldn't have a good excuse, so I wanted to hide it.
But my worries missed the mark spectacularly.
"Pfft, what? I thought it'd be some juicy story."
"Kang Yuri and her overreactions as always."
"Hey, I didn't know either!"
I hadn't really hoped they'd be interested, but...
Their total lack of excitement threw me off more.
"...That's unexpected?"
"What is?"
"I figured you'd grill me more. Like, freak out or something."
"Freak out? Too much," they shot back, looking puzzled themselves.
"Why grill you? You said it's your friend's little sister."
"...Right?"
"We're not elementary kids, are we?"
"......Right?"
"Pfft, who'd crush on an elementary kid~?"
"Uh...?"
"Hey, think about it the other way. What if I had a crush on your little sister?"
'Oppa, I'm crushing on your friend Kim Yohan.'
—Fuck no.
Just imagining it made bile rise, my fist clenching tight.
"Don't cross that line, asshole."
"This guy's always calling his sister a pig or gorilla."
Yeah, I'd called Han Sea a pig or gorilla, but no one else could.
That's family. I could roast her, but outsiders? No way.
"That's exactly it, jerk. How do you crush on your friend's little sister? What if you break up—how do you face the friend? Especially an elementary kid. We're middle schoolers now, right?"
Idiot.
You were just losing it over how cute that elementary girl was back at the cafe, remember?
And we were elementary kids a year ago—no, just months ago. What's one year difference?
And if we break up? Then we don't break up. Problem solved, fuck.
My head felt hot, like someone was stirring it up.
Countless rebuttals bubbled up—I could yell them right now and shut him down. They rose to my throat.
But they never left my mouth, dissolving into the air and sinking back inside me.
Why?
I could've laughed it off with "Crushes can be fun" and played it as a joke.
But I couldn't.
Something felt off, like I didn't want to admit it.
Ah, I got it. The reason I wasn't denying it.
Kim Yohan's words weren't entirely wrong. I'd unwittingly bought into it a little.
A numb tingling in my fingertips drew my gaze down—I'd clenched my fist without realizing.
I don't remember what I said after that.
Just that the drink I chugged to soothe my stuffy throat...
Tasted inexplicably bitter.
"Haah..."
On the way home alone after splitting from friends at karaoke.
We'd planned to hang out more after, but I must've killed the vibe.
We parted with promises to meet again next time.
Walking the empty street, the earlier stuff kept replaying.
What if I'd responded to Kim Yohan like this? Or that?
In my imagination, I dismantled him point by point with a smug grin, making him submit. But too late now.
"Haha..."
Why couldn't I just own it back then?
Because I wasn't sure about my feelings yet?
Why wasn't I sure?
...Was I subconsciously seeing Yerim as a tree too high to climb?
...Then what's a climbable tree?
Kang Yuri and other girls popped into my head unbidden.
I let out a wry chuckle.
Pathetic, me.
No matter the excuses, the answer was simple.
I'm
scared.
Of how fast I'd fallen for Seo Yerim.
Of this feeling I'd never known before.
That it might not work out.
That I might not be good enough.
That's why I couldn't even say hi when we bumped into her family at the cafe.
Why I couldn't proudly declare my feelings in front of friends at karaoke.
Scared it might not go well. Scared of looking like a fool to my friends.
Scared someone might look at me like, "You? Her?"
"Haa..."
Seo Yerim, Seo Yerim.
It started as simple goodwill.
I didn't care about looks. Even if it wasn't her crying that day, I'd have helped whoever it was.
But could I call all my actions after that just goodwill?
Waiting every day for school to end because I wanted to see her.
Staring at my phone, wondering when she'd reply.
This natural eye-smile exchange when our gazes met.
Could I brush it off as "just my friend's little sister"?
If I asked myself whether I'd feel this way for any other friend's sister...
My answer was NO.
If I had to name this feeling that wasn't mere goodwill...
First love... maybe?
I felt my face heat up.
No one around, but I covered it anyway.
Song lyrics always say first loves don't work out.
First love Seo Yerim.
"What's the difficulty level..."
Even I thought it'd be a rough road.
Suddenly, something I'd seen online before came to mind.
Back then, I'd laughed my ass off with friends reading it.
—Who knew it'd be about me.
Like Han Sea said, I'd never imagined kneeling for anyone. But because it was Seo Yerim. A happy torment.
Seo Yerim, spot on.
Someday, when I felt I'd become someone worthy, not ashamed before her.
That day, I'd confess.
I vowed it.
...Even if I'd regret this choice big time later.