Can't Do Without You
After the June mock exams wrapped up and July rolled in, the real summer heat kicked off.
It was straight-up murderous out there, so naturally, my outfits got a lot lighter.
My last shred of modesty was clinging to a pair of thin summer pants— that's how brutal the heat was.
In this swelter, Na-eun's clothes were thinning out too. And she seemed even lazier than usual.
You could tell just by looking at her right now.
"Oppa... I'm really dying here..."
Na-eun was slumped over like a ragdoll, gazing at me with zero energy. She looked like she was straight-up melting from the heat.
"No AC in your room, huh."
"Yeah... my room doesn't have one..."
"Seung-min's room had one, though."
"Oppa bought it with his own money..."
"Ah."
That Seung-min guy—right after getting back from the army, he said he was replacing everything in his room. Guess that was part of it.
"But he's living off-campus anyway, so let's just borrow it."
"We can't do that. He saved up that money suffering through the army."
Stuff like this shows how sweet Na-eun really is. She fights tooth and nail with Seung-min usually, but when it counts, she looks out for him.
"Did you buy any new stuff after the army, oppa?"
"Me? Nah, not really."
"Huh? For real?"
"Yeah, I just swapped out a few computer parts. That's it."
I say "a few," but it was basically a full overhaul. Only the case and cooler stayed the same.
"Still, upgrading your PC... guys are all the same."
"Pretty much."
Out of ten Korean guys, at least eight game. And of those eight, hardly any skip a PC upgrade after the army.
That's how deep the love for games and computers runs in men.
"At least you didn't go blowing cash like my brother."
"Blowing cash? What else did he buy?"
"Tons of clothes, and a used car."
"Oh, right."
I remember Seung-min bragging about it. Pulled a used car, snagged some decent clothes.
I care a bit about fashion, so I bought a few outfits, but I never touched my military savings.
Instead, I parked it all in solid blue-chip stocks. Worst case, only a little dip.
"You're really not into that stuff at all, oppa?"
"Nah. Car? I'll get one if I need it later. Clothes? Maybe two per quarter. Plus..."
"Plus?"
"...Kinda embarrassing to say, but Mom and my sister toss me a couple outfits now and then."
That's why I barely buy clothes.
Mom's in the clothing business, so she hands me extras or good finds. Seong doesn't do fashion work, but she buys me stuff sometimes too.
Plus—though I tossed them all—there were matching sets with my ex, or gifts from her.
I never run short. Like, ever.
So I don't feel the urge to shop much.
"But if something catches my eye or looks perfect on me, I grab it no question."
"Yeah, you do have an eye for it. That shirt you're wearing—you bought it, right?"
I nodded right away.
"Yep. Looked good on me, super thin for summer. Got it last month."
Na-eun beamed and started showering me with compliments.
"You definitely have style, oppa. My brother, though... ugh."
Her head-shake cracked me up.
Partly 'cause Seung-min getting dragged was funny, but mostly 'cause I agreed.
Seung-min's PE major bod fills out anything nicely. But how does he pick outfits straight out of a fashion crime scene? Makes me wanna deck him.
Can't, though. That gym psycho would wreck me in revenge.
I'm strong enough, and working out with him bulked me up, but he's dedicated. That's the law of the grind.
Not the point, anyway.
"Lucky for you, Na-eun, you dress way better than Seung-min."
"Hehe, I do have a knack for it!"
She declared it loud and proud.
With her killer figure, it's impossible to look bad. Even sloppy clothes hug her perfectly.
And Na-eun's got a subtle fashion obsession. Loves dolling herself up.
Explains why she pulls it off so well.
"Worst case, just copy-paste from online shops..."
Probably about Seung-min. They bicker, but they look out for each other like siblings do.
"He'll figure it out eventually."
"You think...?"
I nodded at her question and switched topics.
"Anyway, Na-eun, finals are coming up soon."
"Yeah, finals now... and CSAT's only four months away."
Yep. Na-eun's CSAT is down to four months. A bit more, technically, but close enough.
"D-100's right around the corner..."
She slumped again.
I felt bad for her, but part of me hoped she wouldn't stress too hard.
She's grinding so steadily and hard—worried it'll wreck her health.
Her skills have shot up fast. Maintaining this? Jinhan University door's wide open.
Getting in's another story. Turns out nursing's tougher than other departments. Lit major, but scores just a hair under engineering? Game over.
But knocking means it's close. Time it right, and she walks in.
Her grades skyrocketed.
I'm out of stuff to teach.
Today's Oppa was insanely hot. Sky-blue shirt, sleeves rolled up, explaining problems to me—pure charisma overload.
Chatting with this dreamboat after studying? Only joy in my life right now.
"Na-eun, you know your scores have jumped, right?"
"...Yeah. Before you, I averaged 3rd grade. Now it's 1st to 2nd. All thanks to you, oppa."
"Nah, you're the one grinding. You've always put in the work."
I'm thrilled. He sees my effort—makes me so happy.
As I grinned ear-to-ear, Oppa kept praising me, eyes locked on mine.
"Keep this up, and Jinhan University's yours. Guaranteed. I vouch for it."
"...Really?"
"Dead serious. Need a bit more for safety, but your scores now? Barely different from my freshman year."
"Huh...?"
Unbelievable. Oppa's always been top-tier in school, from what I knew.
Not like that slacker leech at home—a real studious hunk.
And now I'm matching him?
Couldn't believe it. Needed confirmation. So I asked.
"...Can I really get into Jinhan?"
"Duh. I did— you definitely can."
"Still... doesn't feel real."
"I'm no Jisoo-level genius. We were about even."
"You did great."
"Better than your brother, sure."
"Anyone's better than him."
Oppa let out a soft chuckle.
That smile lit me up. Made me truly believe I'd join him at Jinhan.
"Anyway, I know you'll crush it. We'll go to uni together."
"...I want that so bad."
Dead serious. Pass, attend with Oppa, study in the same building, eat together, head home side-by-side.
That's when he said it...
"...You'll be fine studying without me now."
...Words I never wanted to hear.
"Huh...? Oppa, what do you—"
"One more month of lessons, then tutoring's done."
"Oh..."
Right. Oppa's re-enrolling next semester. Tutoring ends before then.
These three weekly meetups? Two months left.
No. Absolutely not.
How we reconnected, this miracle chance...
"You'll do great on your own, right?"
No, I can't. Not without you.
Don't go. Keep tutoring. Stay by my side.
Those words stayed trapped inside, fading away.