Something Uncomfortable
An hour or so must have passed like that, and somehow we had ended up outside.
The next shift hadn't come in early, of course. If they had, it would have been a straight-up hallucination.
The owner had simply told us to go. He was always looking out for us in little ways, and maybe this was a kindness before I quit. Either way.
Thanks to him, we were drawing outside air into our lungs from a fairly early hour. It wasn't particularly good air, but so what.
Walking slowly in the direction of home, I tossed a casual line at Serin.
"Want to just head back like this? Or should we do something first?"
"Mmm... I dunno. If we go now, we'll only get in the way."
"Shouldn't we be the ones going over to help?"
Even so, it seemed better for each of us to decide where our own things went. Not that there was much to unpack. It would be over quickly enough.
"Mom said she'd call when it's time to come."
"...Ah. Right."
There was no getting through the parent shield. How was I supposed to win against that?
The silence stretched on for a long while. Maybe because we had no destination, our steps stayed unhurried.
Then, in front of a cafe, Serin stopped and whipped her head around.
"Hey... now that I think about it, have we ever actually been on a date?"
"...What exactly counts as a date?"
"...Like holding hands and walking?"
I blinked at her blankly. Then a pointless urge to tease her came over me, and I walked past Baek Serin toward the cafe entrance.
"...Hey. Hey? You little—"
She reluctantly shortened her stride, her lips trembling as if she were barely swallowing a curse. The moment I opened the cafe door, I turned just enough to snatch the hand of the Serin following behind me.
"H—hah?!"
Her whole body flinched. If you said something, you had to take responsibility for it. She hadn't brought it up for nothing.
Besides, if we walked in holding hands like this, I had a feeling she'd slip free the second we were through the door. So I tightened my grip for no good reason. Baek Serin kept throwing me uncertain looks, as if she couldn't tell whether this was supposed to feel good.
We stepped inside anyway, and the employee's eyes came straight to us. Once at our joined hands. Once at Serin. Then they smiled faintly and looked away.
...What was that supposed to mean. I wasn't sure I should call it a relief, but they didn't seem to pay us any more attention after that.
Baek Serin, on the other hand, glanced around in a fluster, then peeked at our clasped hands and fidgeted her fingers.
Still holding tight, we walked up to the kiosk, and only then did she let a tiny voice slip out.
"Shiiit... hey, what are you doing...?"
"Dating."
"...N-no..."
I'd thought it was just me, but she was genuinely cute when she got embarrassed. Honestly, I was a little embarrassed too... whatever. If I got to see Baek Serin like this, it was a pretty fair exchange.
I selected an iced Americano, and she stared up at me blankly. When I stole a glance, her pupils were darting all over, like someone who still hadn't caught up to the situation.
"H-hyaa, heyy..."
She was being a little obvious, but luckily no one was looking our way. Turns out the world isn't nearly as interested in other people as you'd think.
I was still gripping her hand. With my free one I tapped the screen and started ordering her drink as well, and only then did Serin pull our joined hands apart.
I'd been holding loosely enough that she could have shaken me off at any time, so I guess her reaction was slower than I'd expected. Then she immediately canceled the order.
"Drinking something else today?"
"Ugh... no, shit, I don't know. I'm getting something sweet."
"You'll get fat."
"...Shut up. You said it was fine."
"Yeah. You'd still be pretty anyway."
Hearing that, Baek Serin looked at me for a moment. Her lips moved as if she were about to answer, and then she whipped her head back to the kiosk like nothing had happened.
...As if that was going to hide it. Her earlobes were already flushed a soft pink.
We finished ordering, took the receipt, and I headed for a corner seat, dodging people as much as I could.
Baek Serin trailed after me like a duckling following its mother. Whether she was hiding her face behind my back or not, the moment I slowed my steps she bonked her head into me with a soft thunk.
I turned to check her expression, and Serin, lifting her head just a little, glared at me like she wanted me dead. ...Right. That was enough teasing for today.
Once we sat, Serin across from me immediately shot me a sullen look.
"Why are you so mad."
"Shiiit... hey, you are seriously... ha."
She swallowed whatever she'd been about to say, forcing her temper down again and again. Maybe I had gone a little far.
I thought about apologizing, but the odd flush on her face didn't look like anger, so I let it go.
"But what's with ordering something different."
"I like sweet things."
"Then why'd you drink Americano every single day."
"...Because of you."
"...First I'm hearing of it."
Serin tapped the table with her nails, stuck her lip out, and then let a small voice slip.
"...You always match my pace when we eat. Drinking too."
"Did I? I don't remember."
"Shiiit... I didn't want to make you wait, so I ordered something I could finish fast."
I blinked in silence for a moment. All I'd known was that my drinking speed had ended up about the same as Baek Serin's.
The truth was, I didn't particularly like cafes. Takeout was the most convenient, and I hated sitting in one place for long.
If I said it now, it was simply that time with Baek Serin was comfortable. That alone had been reason enough to come. I always waited until Serin finished her drink before getting up.
Maybe that was why. Our misunderstandings had grown in opposite directions.
"I think you've got something wrong."
"...What."
"I've never gotten up before you when we come to a cafe."
"...Why would that... huh, you haven't?"
Baek Serin narrowed her eyes and rolled them around, as if digging through faint memories. Before long she seemed to realize something and let out a short breath. Ah.
"...So I suffered for nothing?"
"Yep."
"...Then why didn't you tell me."
"Because I liked it."
Serin, who'd been blinking blankly, moved her lips faintly. Then she quietly looked away.
One of us chugged her drink and stood up so she wouldn't make the other wait. The other stood up just because she did, without knowing any of it. What were we even doing.
Checking the drinks written on the receipt, I looked up and asked her.
"See? Why bother with that kind of consideration. Me matching you is plenty."
"Hey, is it dating if only one person adjusts? That's a one-sided crush."
"That's why you have to say something if something's uncomfortable."
"...Between us?"
A sudden stillness settled in.
...What was I supposed to say.
Between us. The kind of relationship where we knew almost everything about each other and still never let it show? A relationship kept alive on habit alone, with no real communication.
We looked out for each other, sure, but we never actually asked... ah.
"...We should talk more often."
"We're going to talk every day from now on anyway, aren't we?"
"Not that kind of talking. The honest kind."
"Mmm... like what?"
"I don't know. I said it before. Living together, there's bound to be things that bother us."
At that, it was Baek Serin's turn to close her lips.
I wondered what there could be, then quickly wrote it off as pointless imagination. No matter how I ran the simulation, nothing came to mind that I'd actually call uncomfortable.
Baek Serin stared straight into my eyes, as if something had occurred to her. Meeting her gaze, I watched her lips slowly begin to part.
"Hey, I thought of one. Something... really... uncomfortable."
What was she dragging it out for this time. Hesitating that much only made me anxious.
"...What is it."
"Thaaat... that... hey, don't get any weird ideas, just listen?"
"...Tell me. I'll listen."
Serin checked their surroundings several times, then leaned her upper body forward as if telling me to come closer.
If it wasn't something to say outside, we could talk at home and it wouldn't be too late. ...Did we really have to do this now.
In the end I leaned in to humor her, and she breathed a single line against my ear.
"...At home I... don't wear underwear."
"Ah—"
I jerked my head back in shock. Baek Serin covered her mouth and giggled, clearly enjoying the reaction.
I really wanted to snap something sharp at her, but nothing suitable came to mind. How was I even supposed to take that.
No—why was she telling me. Was it a notice, since we were living together, so I'd better know? ...Was that really so uncomfortable for women?
......
"One iced Americano, a mango—"
The employee's voice from the counter came at just the right moment, and I stood as if to catch my breath.
I walked over as slowly as I could, picked up the tray, and only when I figured my face had recovered did I make my way back to the table.
...Baek Serin was still laughing, God knows what was so funny. How was I supposed to react to a line like that.
"...Aren't you embarrassed."
"Teasing you is more fun."
"Same here. How about one of us gives up?"
"No."
"......"
We didn't have to resemble each other in this too, did we. It was childish, even.
But more than that....
"...Hey. Was that just now for real."
"...Ah, uh... yeah..."
"......"
I'd asked just in case, and apparently she meant it. Then again, maybe there hadn't been any need to ask again....
...More than that, why was she getting shy now.
"Anyway, that's not allowed. It makes me uncomfortable."
"I'm... no, hey... are you actually a guy?"
"......"
We'd reached the stage of denying my masculinity? Someone here was barely holding on for dear life....
My throat burned for no reason, so I downed some of the Americano. Baek Serin, straw still in her mouth, was watching me.
Still, no matter what, I should probably talk her out of this.
"At least only do it when I'm not home."
Serin chewed on the straw for a while, then pulled it from her mouth, faint teeth marks left behind.
"If that's what I meant, would I have told you?"
"...What the hell are you trying to say."
"...Hey, that, uh, damn it... lean in."
She hesitated, chopping her words apart, then set her cup down as if she couldn't stand it anymore.
......
What was she about to say this time.
I reluctantly drew my head forward. Baek Serin let out a soft sigh and leaned in.
Then a voice dropped as low as it could go brushed past my ear.
"...I take them off on purpose... to get you hard..."
