Nothing Changes
When was the last time I'd set foot in Lua's room?
I couldn't quite remember, but according to something Lua had said before, it had been back in middle school. First year of middle school, to be exact.
If that really had been the last time, then I was walking into her room after a very long absence. Nearly four years.
And four years had been more than enough to transform Lua's room completely.
Just as she'd told me, there were hardly any study books in sight.
So what was there instead?
Exactly as she'd said — novel after novel, lined up in ranks.
There were classics, sure — things like The Stranger, The Metamorphosis, Demian — but there were also plenty of titles I recognized all too well: the so-called hardcore otaku novels.
No — those were actually the majority. The classics sat there more like a bit of social camouflage, or the kind of books adults recommend to teenagers.
Everything she'd said last time hadn't been a lie.
"…You've got a pretty wide range, huh."
While I was muttering to myself, Lua flopped back onto the bed as if the energy had drained out of her all over again.
I'd never seen her like this. Not once.
Her hair was tied up in a rough bun, and those usually immaculate strands were rare and rumpled. Worse than when I'd seen her at school.
Her face was flushed red, too, and she kept coughing.
That was all the proof I needed. Lua had been pushing herself. Hard.
"Why did you even come to school in that condition?"
I sat down and asked. Lua looked up at me, breathing roughly.
"Had to… do my presentation…"
Even now. She really was the ultimate model student.
"Geez… You came all that way for something like that?"
I gently tidied a few strands of her hair.
Those long locks looked ready to poke her in the eyes.
The moment my hand touched her, Lua's eyes drifted shut, and she surrendered her hair to my fingers.
Once I'd smoothed it a little, she opened her eyes again and studied me.
An awkward beat of eye contact passed between us. I looked away and started scanning the room instead.
Simply put, I was embarrassed.
And as I looked around, something even more startling caught my attention. Startling might not even cover it — it was closer to pure shock.
The computer on her desk. Even at a glance, it looked every bit as good as mine. Maybe better.
And that wasn't the end of it. The microphone sitting on top of her PC — I knew that mic.
It was the kind streamers treated as practically essential gear… and not the beginner-streamers, either. Full-on professional-broadcast level.
The price tag? At least five hundred thousand won, if not more.
I didn't know the exact model, so I couldn't pin down a number, but it had to be at least that much.
And still there was more. The audio interface every serious streamer uses. A webcam that looked ridiculously high-end. Even an extra keypad for quickly controlling the streaming software mid-broadcast.
Was Lua… streaming? Honestly, with a setup like this, I couldn't imagine any other explanation.
Lua. Streaming. Two words that had never once belonged in the same sentence — and now they were colliding head-on.
I was still turning those impossible words over in my head when I saw something I truly could not believe.
The acrylic stand on her desk. I knew that acrylic stand better than almost anything.
The limited acrylic stand from Kuroa Lulu's first album.
And it was sitting right there on Lua's desk.
In that instant, the last piece of the puzzle slid into place, and everything connected.
Like gears meshing perfectly, I understood it all.
What Lua had been doing almost every night.
Why she'd suddenly had something to do every day starting mid-break.
Why Lulu's stream was always on break whenever Lua had a day off.
Why Lua knew words like "oshi" and the rest of the VTuber and subculture vocabulary so well.
How she'd been able to bring me those sold-out collab snacks.
Why those collab snacks had only ever held Lulu's illustration cards.
Why, when I heard Lua's voice, it had started overlapping with Lulu's.
Why Lulu had caught a cold at the exact same time Lua did.
It was an absurd assumption. Completely unbelievable.
But when every other answer falls away and only one remains, you have no choice but to accept it as the truth.
The girl in front of me, face flushed red, breathing hard — my childhood friend, Lua Im — was…
…my favorite streamer. Kuroa Lulu.
My childhood friend had been my oshi all along.
I was too shaken to speak.
Even for someone as dense and oblivious as me, this much should have been obvious — and yet I almost wished I hadn't figured it out at all.
How was I supposed to treat her now? What kind of feelings was I supposed to look at her with?
I didn't know. Not even a little. There was no way I could know.
I moved closer and gently smoothed her hair again.
Lua opened her eyes.
"Why aren't you sleeping?"
"…Dunno. Can't sleep."
Her voice was so hoarse it sounded strangely different.
Was it because I knew she was Lulu now? Her voice kept overlapping with Lulu's in my head.
"……"
Lua said nothing. Maybe she already knew — that I was one of Lulu's fans.
She probably didn't know I was Mangjjonku… that I was Kuroa Lulu's most devoted fan and clipper. But she at least knew I was a fan of hers.
And the first thing she said to me then was something I never saw coming.
"…I'm so wronged."
"About what?"
"Jinwoo… they said your presentation today was really good…"
Cough, cough — even through the coughing, she looked straight at me.
"I… didn't get to see it… It's so… unfair…"
"Is that really something to feel that wronged about?"
"Of course it is… Jinwoo… I didn't even get to watch your presentation… and you did it in my place…"
"I'll do it again for you later, just for you."
I said it half as a joke. Lua let out a small laugh and reached a hand toward me again.
"There's no point in presenting now… the grading's already done…"
With that, she set her hand on top of my head.
Pat… pat…
"You did well… really…"
"…I'm not exactly your little brother."
"Still… I'm proud of you…"
"Proud, my foot…"
I'd have preferred a simple "thank you." Being treated like a kid by Lua was not high on my list.
"Thank you… Jinwoo…"
Her voice was so clogged and cracked it barely held together. I nodded with everything I meant.
"If you're grateful, just get better already."
"Hehe… I knooow…"
With that, Lua closed her eyes again and slipped into a soft, even sleep.
Looking at her like that, I realized how stupid I'd been.
How was I supposed to treat Lua?
Lua was Lua. My friend, Lua Im. That was an obvious, unchanging truth.
And so what if she was also Kuroa Lulu? My favorite streamer?
That didn't really matter. What mattered was that she was my friend.
Sure, things would feel a little awkward from now on. Finding out the friend you treat without a second thought is your oshi VTuber is about as awkward as it gets.
But Lua was such a good friend to me that even that awkwardness felt like nothing.
The fact that I'd figured that out while talking with her just proved how dense I still was.
Once I was sure she was asleep, I stepped out of the room, hoping her cold would clear soon…
…and found Lua's mother waiting.
"Jinwoo, could we talk for a moment?"
I had a pretty good idea why she'd called me over.
The two of us sat at the table with drinks between us and started talking.
"…Jinwoo, do you know what a VTuber is?"
"I know them pretty well."
"Then… by any chance…"
"…Yes. I've watched Lua's streams a lot, too."
Auntie looked relieved and started to say something. I cut in first, wanting to put her biggest worry to rest.
"I won't tell a soul. I mean it."
"…Thank you, Jinwoo."
"Of course it has to stay a secret."
I glanced once toward Lua's room, where she was sleeping soundly.
Then I turned back to her mother.
Her eyes were full of worry for Lua — the same kind of worry I felt. So I nodded and made it as clear as I could.
"My favorite streamer is Lulu… is Lua. So no matter what happens, I'll keep this a secret."
"Thank you so much, Jinwoo. Really… truly, thank you."
"I'm the one who should be thanking you — for trusting me."
After that exchange, Auntie told me to come over anytime, and I nodded.
Even if Lua was Lulu, nothing between us was going to change.