#32 - Lulu Never Gives Up
Lulu's stream was back.
And not just any stream...
"Today! Lulu's all-nighter stream! Let's gooo!!"
An all-nighter, no less.
She'd brought it out as content to apologize for neglecting her streams lately.
From the viewers' perspective, it was incredibly welcome news—but at the same time, pretty worrying.
Would Lulu really be okay pulling that off?
Maybe she saw that coming, because she'd prepared a game that was just the right length to fill the whole stream slot.
"So! The game Lulu's playing today is... this one!"
The game she pulled out was... pretty bewildering, to say the least.
It was something regular Lulu would've avoided like the plague, but it was in the same genre as the ones she'd been playing lately.
Katana Return.
To put it simply, Katana Return is a platformer action game where the protagonist wields a katana, slicing through enemies as they push forward.
The unique twist? You can manipulate time, moving at normal speed while everything else slows down. And when you die, time rewinds.
"Katana Return! They say it's easier than Sanjabi, so I picked it up!"
I doubt that's true. If we're talking pure difficulty, it might even be tougher than Sanjabi.
It's just that the game itself is on the shorter side, so once you get the hang of it, you can reach the ending faster than in Sanjabi.
But her opponent was...
The girl who'd bashed her head against Sanjabi for days on end, stubbornly forcing her way through—and cheesed the boss fights by sneakily tweaking the difficulty.
The queen of trash controls herself: Kuroa Lulu.
Meanwhile, the viewers were speculating about who'd tricked her into thinking this game was easier.
Lulu Manager was denying it outright, which left just one suspect.
Had to be Aris. No one else would pull a stunt like that.
"...This one's harder?"
The second she heard that, Lulu let out a thoughtful "Hmm..." like she was doing mental math on an abacus.
But only for a moment...
"Whatever, let's just do it!"
She spat it out just like that.
"We can still see the ending before the stream ends, right?"
Full of confidence, too.
Nah, no way she'd see the ending. She'd barely scraped by Sanjabi—how's she gonna finish Katana Return?
Absolutely impossible. I could say it with certainty.
No easy mode or anything here. The hardest mode doesn't even unlock until New Game+.
Lulu fired right back at the doubters.
"Hey, come on! Even if you underestimate me, there's a limit! I can clear this! I can do it!!"
Eh, can she really?
...Yeah, maybe she could.
Her controls were "real" like that.
And sure enough, just a few minutes into the game...
-Thud!
...Lulu died.
Tutorial over, first stage just starting, and she already got taken out by a basic enemy.
"Yaaah! This is total BS!!"
No, anyone could see that wasn't BS—you just did something dumb, Lulu.
Those basic enemies are oneshot kills for the player, difficulty be damned.
But they can oneshot you right back, difficulty be damned.
Lulu overlooked that and charged straight in, ate a hit, and dropped dead.
The viewers were roasting her pathetic death, but Lulu—or rather, her playable character—rewound time and carried on calmly.
'Hmm... so that's the feel?'
Hmm, so that's the feel?
Yeah, that's it. Burn it into your memory.
'Cause you're gonna feel it until you're sick of it.
If I were that game character, I'd lose my mind.
Having to relive that death experience dozens, hundreds of times.
-Whack! -Whack! -Whack! -Whack!
"Aaaaaah!!"
Lulu screamed.
Why?
"How do you parry this!? Tell me how!!"
She'd been stuck on a parry-or-die section for 10 minutes straight.
"Ugh... Lulu's not trash! I parried fine in the tutorial...! And Stage 1 earlier too...!"
No, you are trash, though?
She couldn't even clear a stage that the tutorial practice should've prepped her for.
"Grrr...!"
Lulu let out a frustrated yell, then hit restart.
"I'm pushing through to the end, for real...!"
And after slamming her head against it over and over, she barely scraped by.
"See!? I can do it if I try!"
Taking over 10 minutes on a section anyone else clears in 1-2? That's talent in its own way. Either way, this moment was prime clip material.
I finally get why she keeps picking these skill-heavy games. She knows her selling point.
Either that, or she's a masochist who loves the suffering.
"Alright, next boss time!!"
Having cleared the first boss easier than expected, she charged into the second with full bravado.
Yeah, I love that confident Lulu vibe.
'Cause it makes the inevitable crash that much funnier.
Her character gripped the sword; the enemy, a gun.
"Parry this too? Or dodge roll!"
It's that type of boss—lands a few hits and shatters.
But those bosses all share one trait...
-Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat!!
Their attack patterns show no mercy.
"Wh-wh-what!?"
Panicking, Lulu flubbed the parry, ate bullets, and went down.
At that point, I knew.
At least 20 minutes here.
Looks like I'd underestimated Lulu.
She was for real. Yeah, dead serious.
"Aaaaaah! I can't do it! I can't do iiiit!!"
She poured nearly 30-40 minutes into the second boss—not 20—and still couldn't clear it.
She reached phase 2, but got utterly wrecked there.
"I really can't! I surrender! Surrendeeeerr!!"
The persistent challenger was about to throw in the towel, so viewers tossed out their tips.
"Easy for you to say!"
Normally, that playstyle punches right through.
Her failing to do it just highlights how trash her skills are.
You're really something, Lulu.
I see it as her identity, but man, it's frustrating enough to grind my own teeth.
So frustrating that halfway through, sorry Lulu, I was editing clips while watching.
Still jotting timestamps in my notepad for her funny moments.
She vented hard once, then grabbed her resolve and kept going.
"...Let's try again. It'll work eventually."
That's why I love Lulu.
Her main charm is the cute reactions despite her garbage skills...
But even more than that, Lulu never gives up.
No matter how brutal the game, she never quits and pushes forward steadily.
And somehow overcomes the trials and tribulations.
Like this.
"I did iiiit!! Finally!! Finally cleared iiiit!!! Kyaaaaaaa!!!"
After about an hour of tries, she beat the second stage boss.
Me and countless viewers showered her with congrats.
Sending those cheers, I was still convinced.
No ending for Lulu today.
Four more bosses ahead—fat chance.
And sure enough...
"...That's it for today."
Lulu slumped, glaring daggers at the fifth boss.
Ah, she's so cute. Lulu.