Push and Pull
At first, when he said there was no need for any repayment, I was a little flustered. ...Wait, is this what they call push and pull? I'd never actually done it before, so I had no way of knowing. If Oppa really liked me, shouldn't he have just said okay here? It was the perfect chance to secure more time together with me. But Oppa played hard to get once, which only made me want it more. In the end, it felt like I was the one begging him to come to karaoke with me. ...Does that mean Oppa has a lot of dating experience? From that moment on, the seeds of suspicion began to sprout little by little.
And the coin karaoke we arrived at was exactly the same. A tiny booth that barely fit two people. A cramped space where the slightest movement made our bodies brush together. ...Was this part of it too? The comments and actions that left me unsure whether he liked me, only to push me away the moment I drew closer. Plus, of all places, this was where we came for our first time hanging out together.
“Ack, sorry.”
Even when our bodies touched, he would say sorry with that innocent face, but I was starting to suspect even that was an act. It felt like I was completely at the mercy of Oppa's hands. The problem was that I didn't actually hate it. When our bodies brushed even a little, a faint thrill ran through me, and when our hands happened to touch, my heart raced so fast it felt strange.
...This is just like a drama. For real. That bittersweet flutter I'd only ever seen in Netflix shows or web dramas. It felt surreal to be experiencing it in real life.
Still, I somehow managed to sing the songs decently. Oppa even praised me with a genuinely surprised look on his face. After that, the two of us took turns singing.
It was my turn again.
Now I'll leave. So you won't be hurt. So you won't be sad anymore~
Until I felt the gaze boring into me from behind, I had been doing fine. But Oppa was staring at me while I sang like he was trying to record the moment with his eyes. Really intently. Fixedly. Like someone at an idol concert having the time of his life.
“Um... Oppa. Please don't stare at me like that. I'm getting embarrassed.”
...If someone looks at me like that, I can't do anything. It's why I always tried to avoid presentations during group projects no matter what. Then how did I manage to broadcast? That was different because only the chat window appeared. Whether there were a thousand or ten thousand people, they were all invisible to me. I just had to talk while looking at the camera.
“Ah... sorry. I didn't mean to.”
Oppa. I hope he wasn't hurt. With his extreme introvert tendencies, I ended up worrying about pointless things. Unlike on stream, the real me was far too timid. It would have been nice if I could be as bold in reality as I was on broadcast, but that wasn't something I could control.
I finished another song.
If only you'd known that I was hurting too~ that would have been nice.
“Wow~. You sing incredibly well. At this level, shouldn't people have to pay to listen?”
“Don't flatter me too much. I'm really not that good...”
Honestly, I wasn't bad at singing. But I wasn't anywhere near professional singer level either. Just good enough to be pleasant to listen to. That was it.
“No, no. You don't need to be humble. I was genuinely moved.”
So please stop with the compliments! I was weak to praise just as much as I was to people's stares. Once or twice I could awkwardly laugh it off, but when the compliments kept coming like this, I never knew what to do with myself.
And this wasn't kindergarten. At this rate, it felt like Oppa would start praising me for breathing properly soon.
After we each finished three songs like that, it was Oppa's turn. It was a really famous rock ballad. Most people who liked music would recognize it from the intro alone.
To be forgotten just like that...
As Oppa's song drew to a close, I held the remote, still hesitating.
...I needed to choose now. I still hadn't picked the next song. Once I sang one more after Oppa's last one, today's karaoke session would be over.
Huu... What should I sing? I usually had so many songs I wanted to perform, but now that I was actually here, I couldn't think of any. Maybe I should pull up my Melon playlist.
While I was thinking that.
“Yuna. Can I request a song?”
“A request...?”
Oppa. This is a karaoke room, not a radio station. I was simply flustered by the way he looked at me with sparkling eyes.
Cooking? I really can't cook at all. I usually just order everything if I can.
If the delivery apps ever disappeared, I'd probably starve to death, you know?
“Was it that good?”
“Yeah. Honestly, I kind of wanted to record it.”
I felt like I could fly after hearing her sing the requested song. That song fit Yuni perfectly, I thought.
After we left the karaoke, Yuna and I stepped outside.
“Um... Oppa. Since we're already out, do you want to grab dinner together before heading back?”
That would be great for me. If I went home, it would probably end up being triangle kimbap or ramen anyway.
“Huh? Oh. I don't mind. Are you okay with it?”
“If I go home, I'll just order delivery by myself anyway. Since we're already out, I figured I'd eat before going back.”
Makes sense. Yuna was the kind of girl who couldn't survive without a delivery app.
This is supposed to be 5,000 on the Scoville scale? It doesn't seem that spicy to me?
Eating tteokbokki mild? If it's not spicy, what's even the point?
No~! It's not about showing off my spice tolerance. I just don't like tteokbokki that only tastes sweet.
“What do you feel like eating?”
“Hmm... Let's see.”
We started looking around while we thought it over. Being near campus, there were plenty of options.
“Ah! How about that? Shindang Tteokbokki.”
“Tteokbokki? Sounds good. Let's go.”
It seemed tteokbokki had caught Yuna's eye. Shindang Tteokbokki was a chain known for its sweet-spicy flavor and wide variety of sides.
“Welcome!”
We walked a short distance and stepped inside Shindang Tteokbokki. As we sat down, the staff handed us the menus.
“Please call us when you've decided~.”
“Okay.”
Yuna and I opened the menu between us on the table and looked it over.
“The basic tteokbokki is probably best, right?”
“Yeah. The original tastes the best.”
“How do you feel about spice levels? Are you good with spicy food, Oppa?”
“Uh... I'm not that great with it.”
The mention of spice immediately brought Yuni's tastes to mind. She was a spicy-food expert, one of those girls who genuinely loved heat.
She even ate spicy things well during her occasional handcam mukbangs. While watching her streams, I'd sometimes wondered if her pain receptors were completely numb.
“Then you decide, Oppa. I'm fine with any spice level.”
She said that, but she definitely wanted something spicy. No one knew Yuna's palate better than I did.
I couldn't order the mild version in front of her just to save myself. Yeah. After she even sang a requested song for me, I couldn't do at least this much? I could handle it. I'd just eat it while acting cool.
Of course I didn't like spicy food that much. If I had to categorize it, I'd be closer to a lightweight. I could barely manage spicy stir-fried noodles.
“Then let's go with spicy.”
“Really? I do like spicy food, but will you be okay, Oppa?”
“Yeah. It's fine.”
I nodded firmly, steeling myself.
“Then... for the fried items, let's get this and this... You know how insanely good the fish cake fries are here, right?”
I knew it wouldn't end with just tteokbokki. Sure enough, Yuna started piling on the sides.
“Ah... and Oppa, between kimbap and cup rice, which one is better?”
This was a completely loaded question. If it had been anyone else, I might have answered honestly, but since I knew all of Yuna's eating habits, there was only one possible answer.
“Kimbap is better.”
“See? I knew we were on the same wavelength. Soaking this in the broth is absolutely killer.”
Sorry, Yuna. I already know the entire standard Shindang Tteokbokki course by heart. Still, it's fascinating. How does all that food fit inside such a small body?
There were people like that sometimes. The types with a black hole in their stomach who never gained weight no matter how much they ate. Yuna definitely seemed to be one of them.
“Oppa, what do you usually do when you get home after something like this?”
While we waited for the tteokbokki to arrive, Yuna asked me exactly that.
Uh... How should I answer? After this, when I got home it was obviously time to watch streams.
“...I might play some games?”
“With who? Friends?”
“...Probably by myself?”
“Ah... I'm sorry.”
Don't apologize! Then what does that make me? That pure, innocent expression delivering a surprise attack really stung.
“It's not that I can't make friends. I just choose not to.”
“Ah. I see.”
It's true. I'm serious. There were so many people who asked to be my friend. I was the one who turned them all down. Yuna's skeptical look only dug the knife deeper into the wound.
While we were having a conversation spicier than the tteokbokki itself, the food finally arrived.
“Here's your order. One moment please~.”
The dishes lined up across the table. The spicy-scented tteokbokki, the plump kimbap, and all kinds of fried items. I was already hungry, and just the smell made my mouth water.
“Ooh, this looks delicious~.”
Yuna excitedly picked up her chopsticks. I followed her lead, grabbing mine and starting with the tteokbokki first.
Hm. Good smell, good texture, taste...
“Ugh...?”
I froze with the tteokbokki still in my mouth. Was this even food...? The burning sensation on my tongue made my face flush hot.
“Oppa. What's wrong?”
Yuna casually chewed away at the tteokbokki without a care in the world. I turned my head away from her while desperately swallowing the spicy cough rising in my throat.
“Cough. Ah... it's nothing... I'm fine.”
I should have just ordered the mild one. For a spice lightweight like me, Yuna's default level was way too high difficulty.