The Exposition Fiend Who Never Stops Talking, Even Though Nobody Asked
After the music video for Märchen-tic You went public, Märchen's stream took a hit of new viewers so enormous it barely qualified as human.
And so the newcomer chats that would have been buried without a trace on any ordinary day sprouted up like weeds after rain.
The regulars, however, did not answer a single one of those questions.
Because....
"We've got a lot of newcomers in today, so I thought I'd go over the basics. The difference between Japanese anime and Korean anime! Everyone just sort of assumes they're different and leaves it at that, but almost nobody actually sits down and compares them, right? All right, I'm about to drop something incredible, so everybody take a seat. The way I see it, Japanese anime gets exported here, Korean anime gets exported to Japan, and bit by bit the two are turning into the same shape. Overpowered isekai fantasy is the classic example. If you really go hunting for a difference... Japan says, 'Ah. This is what one calls a katana,' and Korea says, 'Ah. This is what one calls a ring-pommel sword.' That's about the size of it. And frankly, zoom out even a little and that isn't much of a difference either. Isekai blew up in Korea and Japan at almost the same time, so nobody even knows who started it! Some of you, hearing all this, are probably thinking, if they're that similar, why are you bothering to compare them at all? Because there is a genre worth comparing. The biggest one is youth anime!"
They were going to understand any second now anyway.
Back in my school days, when I didn't even own a smartphone and there was truly nothing to do, my specialty was killing time by dreaming up entire anime lectures inside my own head. And when the subject turns to something I love, I do, on occasion, go completely off the rails. So what happens if that version of me delivers an otaku lecture at full, dead-serious power? And what if the audience isn't the imaginary crowd in my head, but real people on the other side of the monitor, answering me in chat?
This. This is what gets born.
"Hold on. This next part is the one that actually matters, so I'll stop here and give you time to take notes. In Japan, youth stories are mostly school anime set in high school, while over here they're mostly college youth stories set at university, right? And honestly, that part couldn't be helped. The club element in those stories was a massive hit with otaku in both countries, so the Korean industry went, wait, this is a hit, and tried to use it on the spot. Problem is, after-school clubs in Korea aren't exactly free, are they? Do it wrong and you get written off as a Korean anime that's just using a Japanese school as set dressing. And the place that actually looks like a Japanese club is a university club, so Korean youth anime naturally ended up on college campuses. That's why, once you hit the ironclad formula beat of every youth story — the talk about planning your future — Korean anime is almost always heavier. Which is more serious, a high schooler's career panic or a college student's? College, nine times out of ten! You don't have long before you're out in society! So if you want a youth story with some weight to it, pick Korean. If you want something light, bright, and bittersweet, I recommend Japan!"
A terrifying monstrous life-form had come into the world: the exposition fiend who never stops talking, even though nobody asked...!!!
"...I don't feel like I talked that much, and I'm already wiped."
It felt like every ounce of strength had been pulled clean out of my body. And this despite the fact that I was still jogging regularly and putting real effort into staying healthy.
I glugged down a few mouthfuls of water, then let out a long sigh soaked through with fatigue.
...Was it because I hadn't gone on a Too Much Talk in forever?
Back when I was grinding Knight Rise on stream with everything I had, people kept calling the broadcast boring, saying they were sick of it, and I'd throw myself into these runaway monologues all the time just to head that off however I could.
If I'd still been the me from those days....
"If I'd been the Märchen of those days, I could have kept talking for at least another thirty minutes without a break. Truly regrettable. Is this what they call the weight of the years...?"
"...Now that the rose-tinted filter is completely gone, I can't even argue."
It had been more than four months since Knight Rise and I broke up, after all. Thinking about it, if that filter were still on, I might need to check myself into a psychiatric hospital.
"Anyway, that's the end of part one! Part one wrapped earlier than I expected, so rolling the eyecatch and jumping straight into part two feels a little..."
"Part two? I was thinking of doing an ideal-type world cup for the first time in a while. An anime best-scenes world cup, or maybe an anime best-lines world cup."
Personally, a best-scenes world cup seemed like it would be much more fun to watch, since the clips would come attached.... On the other hand, someone who hadn't seen the anime might get spoiled by those very clips, so a best-lines world cup might actually be a little better on that front.
An anime-song world cup? An anime-song world cup wouldn't be bad, but....
"Hmm.... I feel like I've been showing off my artist side a little too much lately. If I'm not careful, my image might lock in as cute-girl otaku singer instead of cute-girl otaku gamer.... So, for the sake of image management, I'll be passing on the anime-song world cup."
"Anyway, part 1.5! Something that'd work as a part 1.5 is...."
I said it while staring a hole straight through the chat. If a decent idea showed up, I was taking it.
And there it was. Raider.
"The Raider dailies? I already cleared them before stream, so that's a no."
You simply can't run a daily you've already finished. Not unless you've got an alt account———
———An alt.
"...Should I raise a Raider alt?"
"What I'll do is raise the alt as a no-spend account, and show the people who haven't started Raider yet that you can get this far without paying a cent! As a promo piece."
...This is actually good, isn't it?
I had never made an alt. Not even back when I was completely out of my mind over Knight Rise.
Which meant that, handled right, raising an alt could be genuinely fresh content.
All right. Decision made.
"The no-spend project that ended in half a success last time! This time, we make it a real one! ...Let's blast straight through to the gacha!"
And with that, I created a Raider alt.
The nickname....
"I'll go with Märchen Unit-2."
I locked the name in, then pushed all the way to the gacha without a single snag.
And then I opened the gacha window, familiar by now to the point of nausea.
"All right, I can pull now, but...."
I stared at the pull currency I'd been handed at the start. A concept where I never pulled at all... was still too much of a stretch, wasn't it?
I still couldn't complete even one party with welfare characters alone.
"I'd be happy if I could just walk away with one decent four-star DPS...."
I said it, and with nothing in me but a prayer that it wouldn't be a duplicate, I fired a ten-pull———and a rainbow came out?!!!!?!
"Wh-wh-whaaat?!!?!!!"
...It had come out.
The current rate-up character. The greatsword.
Why are you here!?!!
"You were supposed to show up on the main account! Why are you popping off over here!!!"
And just like that — the rate-up character, in a single ten-pull — I succeeded at the Raider gacha bitik I had wanted, and wanted, so badly.
...On an alt I had made for content.
Don't tell me I burned all my luck on the alt, and now the main can't even bitik?
No. Right?
Tell me I'm wrong...!