Until Afaneru Is Playable, God Is Dead
Any otaku with a decent number of years on them has probably been through this at least once. Recreating a famous scene from an anime. Echoing a character's iconic line. Copying a signature move.
To put it a little more concretely: you finish an episode so stuffed with hype that you lose your mind, scream a technique name at the top of your lungs in your room, and swing a fist or a back scratcher. Or you're in the middle of a game, the decisive moment hits, and out comes the famous line or the skill name.
Something in that family. You've done it at least once. You have.
...It's not just me, right? This isn't some private delusion of mine, right?
Anyway, set beside experiences like those, I consider myself someone who can over-immerse at a perfectly respectable level. In my second year of middle school especially, with puberty piled on top, you could have called me a genius of over-immersion and nobody would have argued.
Of course I never showed that face in front of other people. The me of those days was a genius of over-immersion and, at the same time, a master of cosplaying as a normal human being. Letting someone see me go completely overboard? That was no different from announcing I was quitting the normie cosplay. So I only over-immersed when there were no eyes on me.
...Until I started down the road of a streamer.
The world turned upside down, and there was no longer any need to cosplay as ordinary. Besides, even if I went completely off the deep end, it all converted into entertainment for the broadcast. And so, on an internet stream watched by a faceless multitude, I screamed "Holy sword—unsheathe!!!" I threw a wink and cried "Big sis is invincible!!!" I shouted "Draw!" and swung a sword. I dropped to my knees and howled "...Kh. Kill me!!!" I put on a frightened face and shrieked "...Stop! You're planning to get rough with me, aren't you!! Like an ero doujin!!!" I closed my eyes and muttered, "I'm going to kill you." I put on a commander's cap and announced, "Commander-in-Chief of Medongbu. The indomitable Märchen has arrived."
That's... a lot of examples bubbling up, isn't it? So many I'm tripping over them? I over-immersed that hard?
...Anyway!
Streamer Märchen had over-immersed in front of an unspecified public more than once or twice. Enough that you could say I'd grown used to doing it without a care for anyone's eyes, and no one could reasonably object. Which is why, even on a music-video shoot crawling with people I had never seen in my life, I managed—surprisingly unembarrassed—to pull off over-immersion wearing the mask of acting. For an ordinary person who had never shot a music video, I was doing a pretty convincing job, wasn't I? The thought even crossed my mind. To think ten years of otaku seniority would shine in a place like this.... Living a long time really does pay off.
And so, showering myself with praise the entire time, I acted exactly as the MV director instructed———
"Right now it's a little much, you know? The emotion's excessive, or maybe I should say the expressions and the movements are exaggerated...."
In other words: you're over-immersing way too hard.
Yeah....
Figures....
It was a short, sweet dream...!
"Good work today!"
"Good work...!!!"
Finally.... Finally, it was over...!!
I muttered that on the inside, then stole a glance at my manager. The manager avoided my eyes, just barely.
Yeah. You'd feel guilty. You were the one who said I was an ordinary person who had never taken a single acting lesson, so the expectations wouldn't be that high. You were the one who said that even if the acting was a little rough, the director would let it slide once time ran out. You were the one who said the shoot would be finished before sunset...! How is not a single one of those things true?!!!
The moment my thoughts reached that far, she made her entrance: the Märchen of Light—kind, diligent, pure and delicately pitiable, gentle of heart, and, in short, tremendous in every possible way. The feelings churning inside me settled, somewhat.
...The manager has a right to feel wronged, too. They could have gotten off early today, and instead my shoot ran long and dragged them into semi-forced overtime. Right. This was a relationship I'd be looking at for years to come. No need to go red in the face over something like this. ...Still, if I let it pass completely, I might look a little like a pushover. I'll call it even if they buy me one drink at a café.
While I arrived at that conclusion with help from the Märchen of Light, the greatest culprit behind today's endless shoot came toward me. The MV director. They could have just let things slide a little, but they had been so picky.... Picky enough that even with the Märchen of Light right there beside me, I had cursed them thoroughly on the inside. On the outside, of course, I smiled brightly. My music video still wasn't finished. I needed to leave a good impression on this person right up to the end.
As if answering that capitalist smile, the director offered a warm one in return. Hard to believe this was the same person who, only a few hours ago, had been showing me the face of a fastidious artist.
"Well now.... For a first shoot, you did remarkably well."
...What is this? The poison and then the cure? The stick and the carrot?
"Ah, thank you."
Capitalist-Mode Märchen, of course, knew how to bow while hiding what she really thought. Satisfied with that capitalist greeting, the director's mouth curled so high the corners nearly hooked their ears.
"I had a wonderful time shooting with you today. ...I think something really good is going to come of this, so feel free to look forward to it."
"...Really?! Then I'll be looking forward to it with everything I've got!!"
And so I succeeded in parting from the director on warm, friendly terms. ...If this had been a dating sim, that would've been a clean ninety-five-point route. For the record, the reason it wasn't a hundred was that I hadn't been capturing a cute girl.
Anyway, the music-video shoot was done, so it was time to head for the home I missed. Which meant finding a ride as soon as possible....
At that moment, as if subbing in for the director, my manager came up to me.
"Märchen?"
"Yes?"
"It's gotten awfully late. Wouldn't it be better to spend the night in Seoul and leave tomorrow?"
Hmm.... That option certainly wasn't bad.... But still, I ought to look into transportation as thoroughly as I could, and only choose that if there was no other answer.... I really did want to avoid spending the night in a jjimjilbang, one of those bathhouses where people crash on the floor....
"The thing is, the shoot looked like it was running long, so just in case, I went ahead and booked a place for you to stay."
"...Could I ask where you booked?"
In the end, it was decided I would spend the night in Seoul and leave early the next morning.
...A free hotel getaway is a free hotel getaway. What was I supposed to do?
The day after I tasted an unplanned, complimentary hotel stay. The one-day artist experience was over, so it was time to return to my real job. I hadn't prepared a single piece of stream content. When it came to content, though, I wasn't worried in the slightest.
"...Right. It's about time for something to drop."
The moment I saw the title of that piping-hot notice, just posted to the Raider café, a huge smile broke across my face. Raider's launch was August 1. Today was August 18. Nearly three full weeks had passed since the game opened. Which meant it was time for a new pickup banner!
First I'd confirm the pickup, then share the info with the community as fast as I could. If I had my way, it would be a banner for our adorable cool-chic airhead gap-moe supermodel of an elf mayor....
Come on! So who is it?!!!!!!
I let out a long, heavy sigh, then turned the camera on. And I declared it.
"If God existed, would They really just leave a cool-chic airhead gap-moe supermodel of an elf sitting there unimplemented? So until Afaneru is implemented, God is dead. Don't like it? Then implement our dogeza elf mayor!"
"So that means she does get implemented, right? You're saying she isn't the pickup after next—she's the one after that?"
Of course, just because I said it didn't mean the viewers handed me the answer I wanted.
The instant I laid eyes on the words Afaneru Implementation vs. the Meme, my whole body flinched.
An otaku's instinct screamed.
...Not that meme. The moment that meme properly sticks, you suffer in units of years. Once the voodoo cheat-code meme latches on, there really is no way out...! There are still pitiful souls who have never escaped that voodoo hell...!!!
"...Now that Raider's actually out, I thought I'd never have to do this again."
It seemed I would have to use my secret weapon. Without saying a word, I played background music that built a grim, resolute atmosphere. Then I changed the stream title.
And I posted on the fan café.
An eye for an eye. A tooth for a tooth.
Against voodoo, only voodoo.