Totally My Friend's Story
This isn't my story, all right? It's a story about someone I know.
There's a phrase for it: normie cosplay.
It's what you call an otaku who hides their tastes and pretends not to be an otaku at all — and it is not a term that exists in this world.
This is a world that doesn't even have a slur for otaku. Why would anyone go out of their way to hide the fact that they are one?
Yeah. That's the world I'm living in.
I've made it to the land of the free, out from under the oppression and the persecution, and I've been here a year and three months and then some. In a situation like that, can a person really keep from letting their guard down? I don't think I can.
Which is surely why that disaster happened.
Time to reflect. Time to get back the mindset I had back then.
With that resolve, I turned the stream on.
And, right on cue, the viewers poured in and occupied the chat. I took a sip of water, watched the spectacle, wet my lips with my tongue, and opened my mouth.
"Ah, of course I played Raider. I logged in to claim the monthly pass and knocked out my dailies and a bit of XP grinding while I was there. I didn't touch the story, so you don't have to worry."
With that out of the way, I went straight to the point.
"And Part One today is not Raider. Ah — of course I'll play Raider in Part Two."
"I mentioned it once on the Namuwiki reading stream. Even if a Raider Occupation started, I wasn't going to play nothing but Raider. I mean, for the two days right after launch I did play only Raider for the entire stream, but…."
Launch day was, by everyone's admission, a historic occasion, and the day after that was the monumental one — number one in popularity and number one in sales on both major app stores.
"On a day that swells your chest like that, wasn't a Raider special actually the right call?"
"Honestly, two days isn't even long enough to call it an Occupation, is it? And I ran an extended broadcast because it was a historic day. So I don't think any of this is my fault!"
I said it with my chest thrown wide.
"Shameless doesn't feel quite right. Honestly, it's logical, isn't it? So a brain that handles logical thinking this well is a sexy strea— yeah, no, I don't think I can swing sexy-brained streamer. Let's just go with shameless!"
…I should've just gone with sexy-brained woman like a normal person. Or Brain-Marchen.
I gifted a ban to one tactless viewer who tried to treat my slip as an opening and casually blow straight past the line, and with that the sexy-brained streamer incident somehow came to an end.
The start had been a little more chaotic than usual, but a year's seasoning as a streamer was enough to carry me through even this.
"So if Part Two is Raider, what on earth am I doing in Part One today?! Today I brought a raising sim!"
The moment they heard "raising sim," the chat ran from the legends of the genre to the streamer-raising game that had once been a fad among streamers, and on to titles any otaku would have heard of at least once.
"Sadly, nobody got it. So, before I explain what today's game actually is… I thought I'd tell a little story. This isn't my story. It's a story about someone I know."
Of course nobody would. I never once thought they would. So why did I say it anyway?
Because that's the law of the land… right?
"My acquaintance is, just like me, a splendid otaku with ten years of experience. Also, just like me, the owner of a double-digit Raider UID."
"Ahem. Anyway, it's my acquaintance's story. There is zero evidence, but anyway it's my acquaintance's story! Anyway! This acquaintance was talking business with someone they'd never met, and somehow the stranger brought up Raider."
The viewers typed it all out like a denial, but every one of them had probably already guessed what I was about to say.
If I — no, if my acquaintance — had reacted like a normal person, what reason would I have to tell this story on stream?
"'Is Raider fun?' The second I heard that one line, my eyes just flipped. It's the hot new game shining at number one in sales on both major stores, the quality is genuinely incredible and it's actually fun, it's a life-changing game, if you don't play it you're wasting half your life!!! I got so worked up I just—!!! You can picture how the mood went after that, right?"
"No, I'm telling you, it's not my story, it's my acquaintance's!"
"…Uh, one second. Let me get permission."
I said that, picked up my phone, and struck the pose of someone making a call.
I did not actually call anyone.
"Hey, yeah. You know how I said I'd tell your story on stream? The viewers are asking exactly how the conversation went. No, I was going to let it slide if I could, but somebody donated a whole hundred thousand won. Ah, yeah. You're fine with it? The money? Of course I'll pay you. Got it, thanks!"
I finished, then made the gesture of hanging up.
I did not actually call anyone.
"Yes. Permission granted."
"All right, since I've got permission, I'll recreate what was said back then! My memory's juuust a little hazy, so it won't be a perfect reproduction. Please bear with me?"
I cleared my throat. From the far side of a blurry memory, I dragged up what I'd said back then.
And, calling up the cadence, the feeling, the tone of voice from that moment, I followed my own words as closely as I could.
If I had to put the resemblance in a percentage… roughly eighty-five percent?
And, of course, I ate a combo of thousand-won punches.
For a second I thought the Thousand-Armed Avalokitesvara had dropped in to throw the combo. I waited until the thousand-won punches thinned out, and the moment a gap opened I clapped and jumped straight in.
"All right, so why did I bring this up. Listening to my acquaintance's story, I had a thought. I could end up like that. No — I might be even more dangerous! Habits are terrifying, aren't they?"
Yes. Habits are terrifying. Search the internet for how scary habits are and you'll get example after example.
And was there any guarantee the terror of habit wouldn't come for me?
No. There wasn't.
Which is why I launched into a passionate speech.
"I'm streaming from my room every single day — is there any guarantee I won't show the outside world the same face I show on stream? There's a saying that a basket that leaks at home leaks outside, too. Am I a basket that doesn't leak once I step out the door? Is there any guarantee I won't slip?"
"…I feel like I keep having to say this, but anyway, it's my acquaintance. All right! So the game I specially prepared, so that streamer Marchen doesn't become a basket that leaks outside, is exactly the game I lined up for Part One today. And the game I prepared is none other than…!"