Crossed or Not (5)
Ten minutes ago.
“...”
When Maxim revealed his wound, Christine’s face hardened in response. A dozen distinct puncture marks from teeth stood out clearly on his back. The flesh was crushed and gouged out in vivid red, the blood that had flowed from those holes now dried and crusted over.
Christine wrung out a clean cloth she had soaked in warm water.
“Why are you so tense?”
“Did you really fight dozens of monsters by yourself? How did you end up this badly hurt?”
Christine lifted the cloth and began slowly wiping Maxim’s wounds. She had only washed away the dried blood, yet the fabric was already soaked crimson and filthy.
“I slipped up.”
“That really doesn’t sound like you, Senior.”
When Christine shot him a glare, Maxim could only nod helplessly.
“No—did you actually take on dozens of them alone?”
“It just turned out that way.”
“What were the knights who went with you doing instead of helping?”
Christine dipped the cloth back into the bucket. With a splash, blood swirled into the water. Her face twisted in disgust.
“That bastard Clint—should I go drag him here myself?”
“It’s fine, Christine. It’s my fault. How could they have known I can’t use Aura?”
“Why is the fact that you can’t use Aura your fault?! Besides, you used to be able to.”
Christine’s voice rose in anger. She wasn’t angry at Maxim himself. He let out a dry chuckle.
“There are times when someone suddenly loses the ability to use Aura. They’ll just assume I chose not to.”
“No one would blame you for not being able to use it. It would be better to just tell them outright that you can’t…”
Maxim sighed and shook his head.
“I can’t, Christine.”
“…It’s going to come out eventually. Are you really planning to keep living this lie?”
Maxim nodded.
“Once people start looking at someone unfavorably, everything that person does will be interpreted negatively. If I just keep my mouth shut, there’s no chance of it being discovered.”
“To me, that sounds like you’re deliberately trying to make people hate you.”
“As expected of you, Christine. Sharp as always.”
Christine’s expression stiffened. She took the prepared herbs and began spreading them over Maxim’s wound. She seemed to be doing it roughly on purpose. Maxim flinched at the dizzying pain.
“Do I look like I’m joking right now?”
“…No.”
After making sure the herbs had soaked in thoroughly, Christine brought out a bandage.
“Senior…”
“I’m fine.”
“I’m not fine.”
Christine took Maxim’s hand.
“There’s no reason for you to bear the hatred and the burden all by yourself.”
“This isn’t a burden that can be shared.”
The hand gripping Maxim’s tightened. Christine released it, then unraveled the bandage. She wrapped it carefully around his back, tied a knot at the end, and gently placed her palm over the wound.
Maxim felt the warmth of the mana she poured into him. The pain slowly ebbed away.
“Don’t hurt anymore.”
“I’ll try.”
Maxim smiled and rose from his seat. He cleaned up the scattered cloths and medical supplies. Christine offered him a faint, tired smile in return.
Once he was done, Maxim awkwardly pulled on the tunic that had been draped over the chair. Christine watched until he lifted the tent flap and stepped outside.
How much easier it would have been if she could have told him, without reservation, that she would carry that burden with him.
Christine gazed at the night wilderness visible through the fluttering tent fabric. It was dark—exceptionally dark, even for No Man’s Land. The moon was a thin crescent. With almost no obstacles across the open wasteland, Maxim had deliberately left his lantern behind.
It had been a day of letting go of many things. He had accepted that Theodora must hate him. He even thought he had shouldered a small part of the weight of that emotion.
The wound throbbed. A Hellhound’s bite was powerful enough to pierce armor. Flesh and muscle had been mangled, bleeding freely. Fortunately it had been his left latissimus dorsi rather than the right, so it hadn’t hindered him much in combat.
Because Christine had learned of his injury and scolded him thoroughly, Maxim felt utterly drained.
“It’s cold.”
The wind in No Man’s Land was always dry and biting. Maxim kicked pebbles out of his path and walked, using the faint glow of the barracks as his guide.
“Hm?”
He spotted a lantern light in the distance. The flickering glow drew steadily closer, as though someone were out for a nighttime stroll. Someone else besides me wandering around at this hour. Unusual.
Maxim approached to identify the peculiar figure, only to freeze mid-step.
The silhouette belonged to Theodora. She was walking slowly through the night, lantern in hand.
They recognized each other and simply stared in silence for a long moment. Theodora was studying the reason for his awkward gait, while complicated emotions churned inside Maxim.
“You’re hurt,” Theodora said.
Maxim’s brows twitched slightly. She must have noticed the subtle change in his stride. Without thinking, his hand moved to his left back.
“Thanks to you.”
He hadn’t wanted to blame her. But Maxim had already made up his mind. He would accept Theodora’s hatred. He would go along with the damned Benning family’s scheme that held his own family hostage.
Theodora’s brow furrowed as she heard his answer.
“Why didn’t you use Aura? That was foolish.”
“I was able to kill them without it.”
Maxim answered calmly.
“If that’s the case, why not quit being a knight altogether?”
“I have my own position to consider.”
Theodora’s face twisted further.
“Are you saying that because you think I’ll show consideration for your position?”
“Consideration?”
“That’s not what you should be saying. Why deliberately insist on getting hurt when you don’t have to?”
What Maxim had wanted was an expression stained with Theodora’s hatred. Instead she wore a bitter look. Her gaze lingered on his left shoulder blade.
Does the fact that I’m injured bother you? I’m supposed to be nothing more than a bastard to you.
Theodora hesitated, then spoke.
“…I didn’t want you to get hurt that badly.”
Why say something like that now?
Maxim looked at her face, tangled with dozens of conflicting emotions. The lantern’s brass-colored light cast both illumination and shadow across her features. The lit side of her face looked pale. She kept pursing and relaxing her lips.
“That…”
Theodora tried to continue, but Maxim turned away. Any more conversation and his hard-won resolve would crumble.
“It’ll only get harder.”
Theodora’s voice followed him from behind.
“It’s already hard enough.”
Are you still worried about me?
“…Right.”
With those final words from Theodora, Maxim disappeared into the darkness. She stood there dazed, as if the conversation had been a dream, staring after him into the black.
==
The exploration continued. The conclusion reached by the Raven Knight Order and the Margrave after a full week of investigation was ultimately the same: the monsters beyond the cliff had not decreased at all. It was merely the tide receding before a tsunami struck. The surveys grew even more rigorous, and there were now frequent cases of knights camping overnight instead of returning.
Maxim rubbed his exhausted eyes and mounted his horse. He had grown quite familiar with the mounts provided in No Man’s Land. The horse, accustomed to his touch, snorted softly and stamped a hoof.
As Maxim tensed his arm to dismount after the day’s survey, he grimaced at the throbbing pain in his back. For the past week he had shouldered every unfair “test” battle that came his way. Thanks to that, he had nearly fully regained his sword sense, but his body never lacked for new injuries.
Among them, the wound from the first day had been particularly deep. While the other injuries had healed over the week, the bite from that first Hellhound still throbbed relentlessly against his back.
“Maxim Apparte.”
The Margrave approached while he was stroking the horse’s neck.
“Yes, Margrave.”
“From the next survey onward, join Team One’s investigation.”
Maxim frowned. After hounding him so relentlessly until now, was she suddenly feeling guilty? He had already taken to stepping forward and slaughtering the monsters himself to keep them quiet.
“The reason…”
“It’s at your commander’s request.”
Maxim’s frown eased.
“Theo… I mean, the Commander?”
“‘That should be enough,’ I suppose.”
The Margrave knew about the unreasonable duties being forced on Maxim and spoke as if she herself had been the one issuing the orders. Maxim asked her with a lingering trace of unease.
“You think that settles it?”
“Did you want it to continue?”
The Margrave snorted. Maxim stared at her with open disbelief, having completely forgotten she was a countess.
“In my position of being hated, it’s hardly appropriate for me to voice opinions.”
“You certainly know your place.”
When Maxim responded slyly, the Margrave shook her head as though fed up. The one positive note was that she herself did not seem to hold any particular ill will toward him. She preferred helpful composure over useless passion. In that regard, even if Maxim’s attitude displeased her, she could not simply hate someone who had proven genuinely useful in both investigation and subjugation. Of course, had he refused to participate in the subjugation at all, the story would have been different.
The horses were led into the stable. The thick smell of straw and manure rolled out. Yet this was No Man’s Land—there wasn’t a single fly buzzing around the animals.
“By the way, why did we finish the survey so early today?”
“We’ve conducted surveys without missing a single day. It’s only fair to allow time to recover from fatigue. Tomorrow is a rest day anyway.”
When Maxim looked at her in surprise, the Margrave’s face scrunched up completely. Her horse was already backing into its stall.
“I have that much flexibility. Don’t look at me like that.”
“…I didn’t say anything.”
The Margrave locked the stable door with an irritated click.
“In any case, tonight we’ll drink in moderation and ease our fatigue. Make sure you attend.”
Drinking. Maxim scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.
“…Understood.”
She might actually enjoy these kinds of gatherings, Maxim thought as he watched the Margrave walk away.