The Ex-Boyfriend Looks Back on the Past
The ex-boyfriend looked back on the past.
"That's right, isn't it? The love she never got from her own parents, she received from the village folk instead. I count myself lucky for that."
"What...?"
Sihyun had already suspected Yerin carried some burden related to her parents, but hearing it spoken aloud hit him hard.
Grandmother gazed at him with pity as his eyes flew wide open.
"Judging by that reaction, Yerin never told you about her parents, did she?"
"No... Whenever I asked, she just said she was busy with work."
Grandmother clicked her tongue and shook her head.
"Busy with work isn't entirely wrong. After her husband passed, that mother of hers buried herself in the company and never came out."
Until now he had simply assumed both parents worked long hours. Learning that her father was gone entirely left Sihyun speechless.
And I never even knew...
A wave of shame for his younger self rose inside him. Innocent as those childhood days had been, he used to pester Yerin about her parents at every opportunity.
Every time I brought them up, how much must it have hurt her?
He clenched his fists until his palms ached, then spoke through the self-reproach.
"Grandmother... could you tell me about Yerin's childhood?"
"I'd like to, but you'd best ask Yerin herself if you can."
"I'm afraid of hurting her. I can't bring myself to ask directly..."
"Hearing a secret from someone else's mouth would wound her even more."
Was it right to press Yerin about her family? Was prying into something she clearly didn't want to share the proper thing to do? If she wished to keep it hidden, wasn't the decent course to pretend he knew nothing until the end?
Choices swirled through Sihyun's mind until heat gathered at his temples. Then Grandmother's expression softened with kindness.
"When two people love each other, they ought to know how to cradle each other's wounds. Do you want Yerin to keep locking everything away and living in constant unease?"
"Of course not! If she went through something that hard, I want to be there to comfort her..."
Grandmother nodded, a bright smile blooming on her face.
"Hiding things never makes everything fine. Sooner or later the truth will surface while you're together. Better to settle it early—that's why I'm telling you."
"Yes..."
Her warm hand stroked Sihyun's cheek, then patted his hesitant shoulder. With all the sincerity she possessed, she spoke her final words.
"My poor granddaughter. You'll look after her well for me, won't you?"
Sihyun met her request with a firm, unwavering gaze.
"Yes, Grandmother. I'll make her happy. I promise."
After the walk with Grandmother ended, Sihyun shut himself in his room, heart heavy.
Yerin never had a father...
And with her remaining mother buried at work, little Yerin must have spent every day alone in that house from morning until late at night.
Is that why her fridge was always plastered with takeout menus?
The thought of a girl who found pure joy in eating never once tasting a home-cooked meal—only endless delivery—made his chest ache.
And the times she came to our place alone as a child...
Yerin had walked into the Chinese restaurant his parents ran all by herself at the tender age of seven. The way she ordered so casually back then, the darkened windows of her house when he walked her home—set against what Grandmother had just revealed, every piece of the puzzle clicked into place.
Yerin's shadowed past left Sihyun's heart in turmoil. Heat pricked at his eyes; he hurriedly scrubbed his face dry with his hands, then murmured in a voice thick with unshed tears.
"Why didn't you ever tell me..."
He knew how foolish the words sounded. If he had carried a sorrowful family history of his own, he would have wanted to hide it too.
But if only you'd told me...
Told him—and then what? The deeper he dug, the more keenly he felt his own helplessness.
Whenever he struggled, Yerin had always been there to comfort him and lift his spirits. Yet he had never once done the same for her.
She had been the one who needed comfort most of all.
"Haa..."
Sihyun raked a hand through his hair. Never before had he felt so utterly pathetic.
During dinner.
"So anyway, Grandma Bok-sun was saying—"
Yerin had been chattering brightly about the day's events when she noticed both Sihyun and Grandmother sitting in silence. Her eyes began to dart between them.
"You two... did something happen? Why are you both so quiet?"
She looked from one to the other with uneasy eyes. Sihyun kept eating without a word; Grandmother answered with perfect calm.
"Nothing happened. And who told you to talk with your mouth full while eating?"
"Hah. I learned it all from you, Grandma. Always going on about how the Kim family next village did this or that, or how some bachelor married a city girl— I had to listen to all of it—"
"Enough. Quiet down and eat."
"Tch..."
Yerin chewed on her chopsticks and glanced toward Sihyun. The quiet way he ate looked serious and handsome—yet different from his usual seriousness. Something about it felt off.
Tap-tap.
She nudged his thigh with her toes and whispered near his ear.
"Sihyun, why are you so gloomy? Did Grandma scold you for not working hard enough?"
"No."
"What do you mean, no? It's obvious—"
She cut herself off. Sihyun had stopped eating and was looking at her with a complicated gaze.
Then why is he acting like this...
The stark change from the morning sent a nameless anxiety spreading through her chest. Her pupils trembled. Just as she lost the courage to meet his eyes and started to look down—
Clack.
Sihyun set his chopsticks on the table. Then he took hold of her wrist.
"Come talk with me for a minute."
"What? All of a sudden—"
Without another word he led her out of the house.
Grandmother watched the young pair's retreating figures with gentle eyes. Having raised Yerin like a daughter all these years, she could only hope this moment would become the start of a better life for her granddaughter.
It was a country night, the stars hanging clear and bright overhead.
Sihyun brought Yerin to the nearby beach.
"Sihyun, how far are we going...!"
Even as he pulled her by the wrist, he carefully controlled his strength so he wouldn't hurt her. Yet despite that consideration, the Sihyun of this moment frightened her.
The uncharacteristic roughness made her legs tremble. Still, she tried to chase away the heavy atmosphere with a soft joke.
"Ah, I get it. You're going to confess to me here, right? Bringing me all the way to the beach—so romantic, as expected—"
His steps halted. At the same instant her breath caught. No other topic came to mind; the only thing she could remember was confessions.
But if what came next really was about a confession, the atmosphere suggested rejection was far more likely.
I don't want that...
She edged backward from the silent Sihyun, but the grip on her wrist kept her from going far. With even her escape route gone, she asked in a trembling voice,
"S-seriously, what's been going on with you? You know you're acting really strange right now...?"
Sihyun looked at the frightened Yerin with pity. Then he released her wrist and spoke in a flat, quiet tone.
"Yerin."
"Yeah...?"
"Anything's fine. Just tell me everything you know about me."
"What? What do you mean—"
"Please."
What kind of request was that...? The absurdity of it eased her tension, if only a little.
He's asking about the thing I'm best at...
Yerin smiled brightly, cleared her throat, and began to speak at a leisurely pace.
"Kim Sihyun. Height 182 cm, weight recently up three kilos so about 75 kg. Favorite color is sky blue, favorite soccer team is Barcelona. Still hasn't decided on a career path, so he's thinking about taking over the family restaurant. Hobbies are working out and computer games—judging by that recent search for PS, he seems interested in console games too. When he lies he blinks a lot, and he often bounces his leg while eating—a habit even his parents' scolding couldn't fix. And also—"
"Stop... that's enough."
"Already? There's still so much more."
Insisting she had plenty left to say, Yerin poured out nearly every detail she knew about him. From family particulars to preferred clothing styles, his ideal type of woman, even the locations of moles Sihyun himself didn't know he had.
The longer she spoke with such cheerful ease, the more Sihyun felt as though he were standing naked outdoors.
And before long, he began to despise himself.
What the hell have I even been doing...?
Aside from family matters, he had believed he knew almost everything about Yerin.
Yerin would act this way. Yerin would react like that. He had always predicted, and more often than not he had been right.
But that ability came only from fifteen years of shared experience.
In truth, the moment he dug even a little deeper—her dreams, her ideal type—he knew nothing at all.
".........."
"Sihyun?"
In Yerin's vision, Sihyun's face appeared, tears beginning to fall.
After all the kindness she had shown him, after everything he owed her—he knew nothing about her.
That truth filled him with unbearable shame, and with a deep, aching regret.