Childhood Friend vs. Ex-Girlfriend
The childhood friend and the ex-girlfriend were about to have it out.
Ever since the popcorn had hit her in the movie theater, Yerin had known someone was following her.
She still had no idea who, but the way they were going about it made the answer obvious enough.
Im Chaeyeon and Yun Sohee. Convinced those two had come for her, Yerin stepped out into the open.
"How about you stop following me already."
The moment she looked straight ahead, a woman's silhouette appeared beneath the streetlight. Hair as pitch-black as the night sky. A figure that had filled out beautifully. It was Chaeyeon, her hair a complete mess.
No sign of Sohee.
Had she gone home first? Or had she taken another path looking for the one who ran? The unexpected turn of events made Yerin tilt her head.
Well, perfect timing. I needed to have a talk with Im Chaeyeon alone anyway.
Yerin stepped forward, hugging the teddy bear to her chest.
"Sihyun wouldn't listen, so you came to settle things with me this time?"
Chaeyeon didn't answer. She just stared fixedly at the teddy bear in Yerin's arms.
She had received all sorts of accessories and cosmetics from Sihyun over the years, yet somehow this felt more enviable than any of them.
Having watched the two of them at the arcade, Chaeyeon frowned and brushed her hair back. Then she asked the question that had been burning in her mind, straight and without preamble.
"Yerin. Do you have feelings for Sihyun?"
"What?"
Out of nowhere, yet it cut right to the heart of everything.
Yerin snorted and answered.
"And if I do? You gonna warn me to keep my hands off?"
"That's right. That's exactly why I came."
Chaeyeon's unhesitating agreement made Yerin's eyes narrow.
"Hmm... I don't really see why I should listen to you. You and Sihyun aren't anything to each other anymore."
Yerin continued with a smiling gaze.
"You're nothing but an ex-girlfriend. So why do you keep sticking your nose in?"
The mockery in Yerin's voice, plus the deliberate jab of "ex-girlfriend," made Chaeyeon clench her fists so hard her palms ached.
She bit her lower lip and stayed silent for a long moment before finally steadying herself enough to speak.
"I have no intention of ending things with Sihyun like this. We're going to make up and get back together soon, so I'd appreciate it if you'd stop wagging your tail and just get lost."
Chaeyeon's tone had grown even more blunt and rough.
Far from being cowed by that intensity, Yerin only felt deeper disgust toward the girl who still wanted to reconnect with Sihyun.
"I'm so speechless I don't even know what to say... You were the one who said you wanted to break up. What's with the sudden change of heart trying to hold on now?"
"Whatever my reasons are, a third party like you doesn't need to know."
"Fine. You don't have to tell me. Whatever you're thinking when you try to get back together, I'm going to stop you no matter what."
Yerin had watched Sihyun suffer through that relationship from the closest seat possible.
How to soothe her anger. What to do to make her happy. Even the smallest mistake on a date would leave him depressed the entire day.
She never wanted to see that tormented look on his face again.
"I'd rather date him myself than hand Sihyun over to someone like you. Unlike you, I'll actually show him affection, and I won't make him miserable."
Yerin's declaration that she would take Sihyun away.
The moment Chaeyeon heard it, every sweet, intimate scene she had witnessed today flashed through her mind.
The near-kiss at the movie theater. The warm, lively atmosphere at the arcade. Even the teddy bear he had given her at the end.
The way the two of them had acted like a real couple made Chaeyeon's chest tighten until she had to clutch at it.
I can't just leave this alone...
If things kept going like this, she really might lose Sihyun, just as Sohee had warned.
Belatedly seized by a sense of crisis, Chaeyeon forced a calm smile onto her face.
"Why don't you just give up? Someone like you isn't even on Sihyun's radar."
"Of course I'm not. He only sees me as an ordinary female friend."
Yerin showed a hollow smile.
"But it doesn't matter if he doesn't look at me now. From this point on, I'll make him see me."
"You really think that's possible?"
"Of course. When the competition is a personality wreck like you, there's no way I can't pull it off."
Yerin stroked the teddy bear as she continued.
"You should've treated him well from the start. Then you never would've broken up, and I never would've had to step between you two."
Sihyun's love for Chaeyeon had been genuine.
If she had shown even a little affection to the boy who would have given her his liver and gallbladder, would the two of them ever have ended up like this?
Absolutely not.
Chaeyeon knew that truth as well, but...
"No. Whether it's Sihyun or any other man, the moment I treat him well and start depending on him, he'll leave me for sure."
To her, that was simply an impossibility.
"What the hell kind of nonsense is that?"
Yerin blinked for a while, unable to grasp the meaning.
But Chaeyeon pressed on regardless.
"Once a woman starts pouring out love, men take it for granted and start wanting even more. And in the end they dump her because they're bored...!"
Heavy emotion rode on Chaeyeon's calm tone.
Her face looked nothing like someone joking. She seemed to accept her own words as absolute truth.
What is with this girl...
Yerin realized Chaeyeon's worldview was twisted in some fundamental way.
Whatever had happened in her past, this conversation was clearly brushing against a raw nerve.
Just as Yerin was about to dig deeper, Chaeyeon let out a short sigh and shook her head.
"...Forget it. There's no point talking anymore. Someone who's never been through it will never understand."
Saying only what she wanted and then cutting the conversation off on her own terms left Yerin thoroughly irritated.
When she glared with open annoyance, Chaeyeon crossed her arms and spoke again.
"Go ahead and try your hardest. As long as you keep acting like this, no matter what you do, Sihyun will come back to me."
"Ha. What a load of crap."
Deciding there was nothing more worth saying, Yerin left Chaeyeon standing there and walked away.
Chaeyeon watched her retreating back with cold eyes as Yerin strode purposefully toward home.
Once I got home, I set the teddy bear I had received as a gift on top of my bed.
It looks nice...
The bleak atmosphere of my room changed completely just from placing one stuffed animal there.
A feeling like something inside my chest was finally being filled.
Every time I looked at it, a smile rose on its own.
Tap. Tap.
I poked the bear's nose a few times, then soon headed for a bath.
I sank into the tub up to my chin and exhaled, watching the bubbles rise.
My brow was furrowed, and Chaeyeon's confident words kept circling through my head.
Why don't you just give up? Someone like you isn't even on Sihyun's radar.
It was an incredibly unpleasant thing to hear, yet I couldn't deny it.
Hearing the truth I felt most keenly from someone else's mouth left me thoroughly disgusted.
"Seriously. Who does she think she is..."
In the past she might have monopolized Sihyun's love all by herself, but now she was nothing more than a nasty enemy in his eyes.
Neither of us had a real chance, so she had no right to look down on me.
What an irritating bitch, honestly.
I had disliked Chaeyeon from the very beginning.
Because the love I could never obtain no matter how hard I tried was something she had gotten without lifting a finger.
What exactly am I lacking compared to Im Chaeyeon?
Objectively speaking, I didn't lose to her in looks or figure. I had even copied her hairstyles and fashion out of desperation, but all it ever earned me was a flicker of interest. Never Sihyun's heart.
Kim Sihyun, you idiot...
If he had dated me from the start he never would have suffered like that. Why did he have to cling to a girl like her like some kind of sucker...
I was resenting Sihyun when I soon shook my head.
No. Stop blaming other people. I never even confessed. How was Sihyun supposed to know how I felt?
I had been in love with him for nearly ten years, yet I had spent all that time hiding these feelings.
Because I already knew it could never work out.
Back when I still knew nothing, I had tried all sorts of things to win Sihyun's favor.
But after two years, then three, I finally realized the truth.
Sihyun did like me—but only as a longtime friend, never as a woman.
After that, all I cared about was keeping our friendship intact.
I was terrified that a failed confession would put distance between us.
So instead of gambling on a romantic relationship, I settled into the familiar role of best friend. And I comforted myself with the thought that someday Sihyun would understand my heart.
But then...
Yerin! I finally did it! Chaeyeon said she'll go out with me!
When I heard those words over the phone from Sihyun, the strength drained from my legs and I sank right where I stood.
Five confessions. Sihyun had been harshly rejected four times, yet he kept trying until he finally won her love.
The complete opposite of me.
Unlike me, who had settled for reality, Sihyun had found the courage. I thought that meant he deserved to be with the woman he loved.
No... at the very least, someone who had never even confessed once while claiming she wanted to date him had no right to stand in the way of his happiness.
...So I let him go quietly. I forced myself to rationalize it by saying Sihyun's happiness was my happiness.
I believed that with time I would be able to sort out these feelings, but...
After Sihyun and Chaeyeon started dating, the aftermath was beyond anything I had imagined.
The Sihyun who used to sit next to me in every lecture somehow ended up in the seat beside Chaeyeon.
Because of her demands, he minimized contact with every other girl, including me.
And every time I called he was already on the phone, so little by little I lost my place and came to bitterly resent my past self.
If I had found the courage back then. If I had confessed even knowing I might get rejected, maybe I would have been the one dating him!
I repeated the same regret countless times every single day.
I stayed up all night looking at photos of Sihyun, and whenever pictures of the two of them appeared on social media I spent the entire day depressed.
The stress naturally led to binge eating; I would order delivery food to the absolute limit and then throw it all back up, over and over.
"Haa..."
Maybe it was the old memories, or maybe I had stayed in the bath too long.
A crushing tightness filled my chest along with a wave of dizziness. I dried myself off and headed straight for my room.
I want to hear Sihyun's voice...
I dialed on impulse. Even though I knew better by now, I still worried he might be on another call.
"Hello?"
"Yeah, Sihyun. I just wanted to check if you got home okay."
Thankfully the call connected. I let out a breath of relief, hugged the teddy bear close, and listened carefully.
"Oh, I was just about to call you too."
"Really?"
It was nothing more than a tiny coincidence, yet the fact that we had been thinking the same thing made me so happy.
And talking on the phone at night after so long made my heart keep thumping.
"Ah. Come to think of it, I forgot to send you the money. Hang on a second."
"No. You even won me the stuffed animal. Something like that is nothing..."
"That's that and this is this. You paid for the popcorn and the arcade. I can't leave it like this—I'd feel too bad."
That was Sihyun for you. He had always hated being in anyone's debt.
He really is such a diligent guy.
I smiled quietly so it wouldn't carry through the speaker, then carefully made a suggestion.
"Then don't send the money. Just buy me a meal next time."
"What? That's a little..."
"What? Why that reaction?"
"I was just thinking the next time we meet, it'll easily cost me a hundred thousand won."
"Ugh... You used to say it was nice watching me eat a lot."
Maybe I really should cut back on how much I eat?
What if the food bill made him not want to see me anymore?
While I fretted inwardly, Sihyun's gentle voice continued.
"I'm kidding. Let's just go to an all-you-can-eat meat place instead. Sound good?"
"Of course!"
I had successfully set up another date without even trying.
This means I get to see him again...
I cheered silently and hugged my pillow.
And just as I was rolling around on the bed—
"I had fun today. It was really nice hanging out together after so long."
Sihyun's deep voice resonated against my ear.
Hearing him in person was great, but listening through the speaker had its own special charm.
"Yeah. I had a really good time too..."
Except for the conversation with Chaeyeon on the way home, that is.
The woman who had ruined a perfectly good day at the very end.
Thinking of her brought back the words she had said.
Whether it's Sihyun or any other man, the moment I treat him well and start depending on him, he'll leave me for sure.
It was a worldview I simply could not understand. Leaving the moment someone treats you well? Could that twisted belief be the reason Chaeyeon always acted so cold?
I wondered if Sihyun, being a guy, might be able to relate. The thought nagged at me, so I asked indirectly.
"Sihyun, the reason you broke up with Chaeyeon... it was because you got tired of her power-tripping, right?"
"Huh? If I had to pick a reason, yeah."
"Then if Chaeyeon had shown you affection more often and treated you well, you never would have broken up, right?"
"Well, of course... But why are you asking something like that?"
"...It's nothing. I was just curious."
I couldn't bring myself to tell him what had happened today.
If Chaeyeon's arrogant personality really came from that twisted belief, and if there was some unknown circumstance behind it...
Knowing Sihyun's nature, he would ask about it and try to comfort her.
Now that their breakup had finally given me a chance, I had no desire to create any opening for them to get back together.
I'm such a petty person...
While I felt a wave of self-loathing over my own selfishness, Sihyun, completely unaware, kept the conversation going.
"More importantly, did you see the group chat? Our class MT schedule got set."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Two weeks from now. Looks like it's somewhere by the East Sea. You going?"
"I don't know. If you go, I'll go. If you don't, I won't."
"What kind of logic is that? Whether I go or not, you should go."
"I don't know. If you don't go, I'm not going either."
"...I'm going. Chaeyeon and Sohee being there is a little awkward, but I still don't want to skip the MT."
"Yeah...?"
I get to go to the beach with Sihyun... As soon as this call ends I'm looking up cute swimsuits...
After that, I spent the rest of the time thinking about how to win Sihyun over during the MT and completely lost myself in conversation with him. An entire hour vanished in an instant.
The talk that had felt like it could last forever finally began to wind down, and I didn't want it to end yet, so I gathered my courage.
"Hey, Sihyun! I've been having trouble sleeping lately. Is it okay if I call you every night?"
"You don't need my permission for that. Anytime is fine. Just call whenever you feel like it."
"Okay!"
With that, I had reclaimed one of the daily routines Chaeyeon had stolen from me.
If I could find the courage to confess the same way I just had, could I become Sihyun's girlfriend too?
I was sick of being just friends. As soon as possible... yes, even if I had to use this class MT, I wanted to tell Sihyun how I felt.
That more than anyone else in this world, I love you.