Growth Pains
"Is there anything else you need?"
"..."
"Hmm..."
Cho Yak spoke while wringing out the damp cloth. Lukewarm water seeped between her fingers and dripped steadily into the wooden basin.
"May I ask a question?"
"Yes, please do."
"...What exactly happened last night that has you acting like this?"
"That's right. You should at least tell us the reason."
At those words, my hands froze. When I looked up, Dang Ju-yeon's and Yeom Ho-yun's gazes were fixed on my face. I raised one hand to touch my chin.
"Is there something strange about me?"
"How could this not be strange?" Dang Ju-yeon said, glaring at me. Though shallow, I had taken a palm strike from the Black Poison Lord, and the aftereffects of the unneutralized Black Poison lingered from when I had fainted afterward. Every time she spoke, her brow furrowed as though the chest pain was quite severe. I wondered if it was worth forcing herself to talk like that.
"I don't understand what you mean. If it's not urgent, it would be better not to speak. I was told you absolutely must rest..."
"That's why I'm saying..." Dang Ju-yeon tried to continue, but finally could not hold back and began coughing violently.
"See? You shouldn't strain your throat. You need to rest."
As I said this and offered her a cup of water, Dang Ju-yeon glared at me again. If the words she could not voice had come out, they would probably have been something like, This is all because of whom, exactly? Yeom Ho-yun spoke in her place, as Dang Ju-yeon was physiologically unable to continue.
"Young Hero Yu."
"Yes, Young Lady Yeom."
"I know it's rude to say this, but the Young Hero Yu I've seen these past few weeks was... well, more individualistic, wasn't he?"
"Ah, well..."
Individualistic. I was genuinely surprised—not by the fact that I could appear that way, but that Young Lady Yeom, who had been born into a sweaty military household and had little interaction with outsiders except through military circles, could employ such a roundabout expression. If I were to describe how I had treated the two of them during our travels, heartless or cold-blooded would have been far more fitting. That had never been a problem. After all, I had never made any unreasonable demands or tormented them. Maintaining a relationship at that level had been sufficient for traveling together for a while. If one were to express as gently as possible that we had made no sacrifices or efforts to deepen our bond, it could certainly be called individualistic.
I nodded obediently.
"That's true."
"Then why are you suddenly doing something you never did before? Even when we first arrived in Yueyang, you left Young Lady Dang at the clinic and went straight to the Pafeng Sword Sect. If you want something, just say it honestly."
Being honest was not difficult, but I doubted whether they would take my words at face value. Yet offering a believable lie would mean taking the wrong first step in forming a proper relationship. When she had told me to make friends, she surely had not meant a relationship built on appropriate deception or calculated gains and losses. If I had to guess, she meant the kind of bond where emotions surfaced without reason and actions preceded thought. For me, it was a path I had never walked in my life, so I hesitated at the very first step, unsure where to place my foot.
"Is it difficult to say?"
After I had been lost in thought for a long while, Yeom Ho-yun, unable to wait any longer, urged me. Only then did I set the slightly warmed cloth down in the basin.
"It's not that."
"Then tell us."
Though I did not entirely trust my own judgment, if I had to decide now, an honest answer seemed better. If both of them could anticipate what came next, it would create fewer problems later even if things went well. I organized my words and delivered them in a single sentence.
"I want to have a deeper relationship with both of you young ladies."
"..."
"Cough, hack, cough-cough-cough, hah, khk."
While Yeom Ho-yun stood frozen, Dang Ju-yeon coughed violently. I poured another cup of water and handed it to her before adding,
"How can we have a deeper relationship?"
"...Uh... um..."
"Hah, hah, snap out of it, Young Lady Yeom. It's obviously another ridiculous joke or nonsense. I don't know how those words came out again, but..."
"That's too much. I'm being serious. Think about it. If you were deliberately pretending not to understand, I wouldn't know, but have I ever truly failed to grasp what was said?"
"Then you really mean you want to start dating or something? Is that how you want us to take it?"
"Yes."
I nodded. What else could it mean? She had told me to make friends or lovers, and if one step beyond male or female friends was a lover, then making a lover would be even better. Of course, there was no reason to refuse friendship either. Upon hearing this, Dang Ju-yeon coughed again while Yeom Ho-yun looked as though her soul had left her body. That reaction was exactly as I had expected. Whether it was better than the faint suspicion that would have followed a proper lie, however, was unknown territory for someone who could read others' moods but had never tried to deepen a relationship through that ability.
* * *
Together with Cho Yak, who had woken up, I retraced our steps toward the Hwaweol Pavilion. Aside from other matters, I could not leave Cho Yak's sword behind. Its material and craftsmanship were excellent, and its design itself was not something easily found among Central Plains cavalry. If lost, it would be difficult to obtain another. So when we finally arrived at a street in Luoyang and I was watching Cho Yak pull her sword from where it was embedded in the ground, I sensed someone approaching from behind.
"Young Master Yu. Have you been well?"
"Ah, Young Master Cheon. I had something to tell you anyway. You came at a good time."
When I turned, it was the Heavenly Demon. His usual dandy appearance was gone; the embroidered silk robe and formal attire were torn and shredded everywhere. Though there were no visible external wounds, he looked like a patient who had barely recovered from serious injuries or someone who had gone days without food—his entire body lacked energy and his blood seemed dried up. It appeared the Heavenly Demon had also gone through a grueling fight.
"What do you mean? That you fought the Ghost Immortal?"
"That too, and also that I am the Nine Eternity Gate's Void Sword Immortal."
"..."
The Heavenly Demon stopped walking and stared at me with his mouth half-open, eyebrows raised. He opened and closed his mouth several times before finally managing to speak.
"...Why?"
It was rare to see the Heavenly Demon surprised, so a smile formed on my face without my realizing it. However, I had not said this just to tease him. If I were to be somewhat honest with myself, I had to say it. The only reason I had not spoken these words before was that I could not take responsibility for what might happen to Master Ju and the Heavenly Demon if I interfered here.
"I thought there was no need to hide it from you, Young Master Cheon. If you want the details, I'll tell you separately later. This isn't the right place."
I felt Cho Yak's gaze from behind as she held the drawn sword, and I spoke quickly. Soon Cho Yak approached, and the Heavenly Demon's furrowed brow relaxed as the corners of his mouth slowly lifted.
"Because Cho Yak might hear?"
Only then did I remember that the Heavenly Demon would stop at nothing to see me flustered. I hurriedly lowered my voice to stop him, but while swinging limbs might be one thing, my speed at speaking martial arts had not improved, so before I could even begin, Cho Yak was already standing behind me.
"Have you been well, Heavenly Demon-nim?"
"Yes. But Cho Yak, you know what that means, right?"
"What do you mean?"
I waved my fingers and made eye signals desperately, but the Heavenly Demon watched everything and smiled with his eyes before turning his gaze to Cho Yak. He had clearly understood, but it did not seem he would do as I wanted, which made my stomach churn.
"Young Master Yu says he is the Nine Eternity Gate's Sword Immortal."
I wanted to slap the Heavenly Demon's cheek right then. And also my own cheek from just before, when I had thought of telling this story. Really, I had not wanted to tell Baek or Cho Yak about Guyeongmun. If it caused a rift and they wanted to fight, that would be a problem, and if they listened to Master Ju and wanted to join as well, that would also be a problem. Guyeongmun—honestly, when it came to Master Ju, I could not bring myself to oppose him and call him evil, nor could I stand with him and consider myself righteous. The things Master Ju did, from the greatest matter of eternal life down to the smallest, were all significant events in this world. Hearing about them would make anyone want to rush in, whether in agreement or opposition. Yet thinking of what I had seen at the end, it was only natural that I did not want my close ones to experience such things. Wanting to keep Baek and Cho Yak from getting involved with Guyeongmun was something I sincerely desired, even before considering whether to interfere or not.
"Is that so?"
Cho Yak's reply came in an unexpectedly flat tone. I nodded.
"That's right."
"I see. Is there anything else you wish to say?"
That quiet tone was surely the calm before the storm. It pained me that Cho Yak would be angry and disappointed with me, but more than that, thinking of what would come next filled me with regret.
"I know it will be hard to hear, but will you listen?"
"Yes, of course."
"In truth, the one called the Ghost Immortal is someone who was expelled from Guyeongmun for committing evil deeds, and it was Guyeongmun that asked me to deal with him this time."
"Does that mean my enemy is ultimately the Ghost Immortal?"
I shook my head.
"No. It's only a guess, but Guyeongmun must have helped the Ghost Immortal even back when he was tormenting Young Lady Cho. How can we say there is no connection? But that name is like a quagmire—it swallows the lives of those involved whole. That is what I feared."
"I see. So you hid the truth from me because you wanted me to stay out of it, Sister."
"That's right."
"Then I will do so."
For a moment, I could not understand what I had heard and stood frozen. Only after some time passed did I look up.
"That... what I heard..."
"If you don't like it, I'll go fight Guyeongmun right now."
I could not bring myself to ask if she was really okay deciding after only hearing my words, and only answered in a small voice.
"Thank you."
"I don't know why this is something to thank me for. It is a decision Sister made after thinking it through herself. Sister has already saved my life twice, including this incident. I should be the one following and thanking you, not the other way around."
Those words made me uncomfortable again, so I was about to tell her that her life had actually been in danger because of me when the Heavenly Demon cut in. His expression was openly displeased.
"My, what a tight bond. Did the two of you have a match recently?"
I did not answer immediately and instead glared at the Heavenly Demon. Everything had turned out well, but was he really bringing that up just to joke around? Yet the Heavenly Demon remained shameless.
"What? Why are you looking at me like that? So I have to lie to Cho Yak to keep Young Master Yu's secret? In case you've forgotten, Cho Yak is our child, you know?"
Pointing out that it would have been better to discuss it more with me and decide carefully seemed pointless, as he would not listen. I simply sighed and gave a vague reply.
"Fine. It would be better if I just refrained from saying anything to you, Young Master Cheon. So what, a match? We've had quite a few sparring sessions."
"No, ah, well, yeah."
The Heavenly Demon raised his hand as if to explain something, then simply waved it once, sighed, and lowered it.
"Actually, I've developed some feelings toward Guyeongmun myself."
"What kind of feelings?"
"I met someone called the Returning Immortal this time, and I really didn't like him."
"You mean Master Ju? I thought as much."
Similar people attract each other, but that only held when their impressions were slightly different yet their types were similar. Conversely, when their ways of thinking were complete opposites, their impressions could become similar—and that was exactly the case with Master Ju and the Heavenly Demon.
"So I'm thinking of fighting Guyeongmun once. What do you think?"
"Don't. You won't win."
My answer was the same. Guyeongmun—or more bluntly, Master Ju—was not an opponent one could defeat through any ordinary means. No matter how great a major sect the Demonic Cult was, that would not change.
"I thought so."
"I guarantee it."
"Good. Then I'll have to find another way."
"...Another way?"
The Heavenly Demon smiled as he gazed at the distant mountains beyond the Yellow River.
"Don't worry. I have a decent head on my shoulders. If a method obviously won't work, I won't even try it. And it's not like they'll try to do anything to me or the Demonic Cult first. So there's plenty of time."
That seemed plausible. Master Ju would never think that because the Heavenly Demon or the Demonic Cult had rejected his proposal, they had become a threat that must be eliminated first.
"...But do you really have such a method?"
"If I keep looking until I find one, it will appear someday. Nothing is absolute. Well then, take care. Let's meet again soon."
Leaving those parting words, the Heavenly Demon turned and disappeared into the crowd. Only Cho Yak and I remained. Cho Yak asked,
"What will you do now?"
"First, I should take Ji-gyun and return to Jipmudang."
"Come to think of it, there's still over a month left."
"A month, huh. As soon as we return, I should ask if they can officially give me a scholar's position. Let's head to the Hwaweol Pavilion for now."
"Yes."
After finishing our conversation, we immediately set off toward the Hwaweol Pavilion. After walking a few steps behind me, Cho Yak suddenly stopped and asked,
"...Wait a moment. What did you just say?"
"Let's go to the Hwaweol Pavilion? Ah, before that. I've taken a liking to the life of a scholar. I think I'll work at Jipmudang until I get tired of it."
At those words, Cho Yak's expression twisted and she began to stammer. Only after I finally remembered the reason did I smile and explain.
"Ah, Young Lady Cho didn't hear. Both you and Baek told me to be honest with my own feelings, so I've decided to make an effort. After thinking it over carefully, I realized that writing and reading at Jipmudang is more enjoyable than living alone in the mountains."
Upon hearing this, Cho Yak's frown eased, though her expression remained complicated. After chewing over her words several times, she finally managed to say,
"Yes. You did well."
And that was all.