The Master's Honest Resolve
The disciple. A massive iron gate lay sprawled across the passage like a carpet. The steel, thick enough to span a hand's breadth, had been sliced clean through as if it were tofu—an unmistakable landmark. Inside, the air reeked of gunpowder. The loose earth covering the floor was littered with iron pellets and shattered stone fragments. I walked on until I stood before one final door, then stopped and lowered my head.
"Have you been well, Master?"
"Yes." The reply came naturally from my master's lips, as though she had been watching me the whole time, her eyes still closed in meditation and qi circulation. After that, I simply stood there. Too many thoughts crowded my mind; I needed time to sort them before I could speak. Whether she sensed this or simply had nothing to say, Master remained silent.
After a while, I finally found my opening. "I wanted you to be honest with yourself."
"...I've been hearing that a lot lately."
Master's quiet answer prompted my immediate question. "Was there someone else who said the same thing?"
"Cho Yak told me the same before I came here."
Anger flared again, but it was milder than yesterday—perhaps because I had half-expected it. I drew a deep breath, but Master spoke first.
"Very well. I'll try."
"...Pardon?"
"Why? Did you think I'd stubbornly refuse to the end?" Master gave a bitter laugh. "I'm still afraid, but if everyone—including you—keeps saying the same thing, what choice do I have? I won't change everything at once, but I'll try to interfere a little more."
"..."
She spoke as if it were nothing, yet how could it be? I tried to say something, anything, but my voice refused to come. Instead, Master spoke again.
"Still, it seems you have more to say. Take your time."
Grateful for the words, I coughed several times to clear my throat. My heart was in such turmoil that even I couldn't guess what expression I wore. Joy and anger, expectation and sorrow—all of it left me barely able to stand. After another stretch of silence, I managed a single sentence.
"...I did."
"You did?"
"Not anymore."
At that, Master frowned slightly, puzzled, then opened her eyes and lifted her head. When I tried to meet her gaze as usual, my eyelids kept drooping and my eyes slid toward the ground.
"At first, I truly wanted you to be honest. That's why I swung my sword in anger and ran away from home."
"And now?"
"Now I don't know anymore." With my eyes fixed on the floor, the words poured out. "Rather, if you were honest with anyone besides me, I feel angry. Even though those things are either unavoidable or decisions I made myself, I keep thinking about the past for no reason. Becoming close with others besides you... somehow feels like a sin..."
"..."
"So last night I questioned myself again and reached a conclusion: I only like you, Master. I want you to be honest only with me. I want there to be nothing in the world but the two of us. But..."
"But?"
"Now I don't even know that."
I paused again, afraid to speak the next part. I knew Master wouldn't care, yet hiding it still felt shameful and terrifying. In the end, I confessed in a murmur.
"Just now, when I had no choice but to choose, I couldn't pick only you over the others."
"No matter how much you think about it, you don't know why?"
"No."
"...Lift your head."
It took considerable effort to raise my leaden chin. When I finally looked at her, Master was smiling broadly.
"Baek-ah."
"Yes."
"Can't you define your own emotions and thoughts? Are your priorities unclear? Do your words and actions contradict themselves? Do you keep worrying about how to treat others?"
"That is exactly the case."
"Well done."
"Pardon?" The words slipped out before I could stop them. Master continued.
"In such a short time, you've learned much about martial arts and the world. My teaching skills may be lacking, but there's truly no better teacher than the world itself."
Her words made it sound as though this wasn't a bad thing. Unable to accept that, I asked for confirmation. "This is something I've learned?"
"Yes. You've gained enlightenment."
"Even though my words and actions now stray from the path I set for myself, and I can't decide anything properly? If this is enlightenment, what exactly have I gained?"
Despite my lament, Master's smile only deepened. "Look back on how you felt before. Were you truly whole and free of contradictions then? Weren't you just like a cricket that has never known winter, proudly claiming it doesn't feel the cold?"
"...Of course there were contradictions, but still, I was far more whole than I am now..."
Even as I said it, the words felt hollow. While I fumbled for a correction, Master drove the point home first.
"There is no more or less to wholeness. In fact, there is no such thing as wholeness at all. What you gain through enlightenment is realizing that nothing in this world was ever whole to begin with."
"That's... painful."
"It is. Truly."
Master let out a short breath that could have been a sigh or a laugh. At that moment, I finally understood.
"But if you keep running away because you're afraid of pain, you'll end up just like this foolish master."
"..."
In the silence that followed, I mulled over many thoughts until Master met my eyes again.
"I want you to meet more people and build deeper relationships. Of course, I'm glad you value me, but I don't want that feeling to sit in some special, empty place reserved only for me. I want it woven into the complicated web of relationships you've formed with everyone you've met in your life."
I couldn't answer right away. I understood what she meant, but the words to agree wouldn't come. It took the time it would take to drink a cup of tea before I finally spoke in a steady voice.
"...I still don't want that. In my life, I want you to simply be you, separate from everything else."
"I see. Then let's do this." Master's tone was unusually mischievous, and her face wore a bright, almost cruel smile. "Since I've decided to be honest with my own heart, the first thing I'll do—whether you like it or not—is arrange things exactly as I please. From today onward, you are expelled. Wander the world, make friends and rivals and lovers. When you've mingled so thoroughly that you can no longer escape, come back. Only then will I consider clearing your name."
Though spoken without a shred of malice, only concern, the words landed like a blade against my neck. We exchanged a few more sentences before I offered my final farewell and left, yet I remembered none of it. Even with my eyes open, I saw nothing. Even when spoken to, I heard nothing. I was not a person, but a corpse with its eyes open.
* * *
Watching Baek's retreating figure, I smiled. Ever since she was young, Baek had always been straight as an arrow. She set her goals clearly and never betrayed them. That didn't mean she clung to any single thing. Baek was honest with herself when setting goals, and when something was no longer needed, she changed them without hesitation. She simply refused to lie to herself or compromise with excuses—even if it meant abandoning a goal. In that sense, she was truly upright.
So, naturally, I had once thought that even I was nothing more than a stepping stone toward her goals. Though it shames me to say it, I was quite the formidable expert. If Sama Geon called himself an Absolute Master, then I must be something beyond that. Even before I properly understood the Central Plains' martial world, I knew my skills ranked among the highest. If I had truly been mediocre, Ju-seong would never have given me such an embarrassing title as the Empty-Space Sword Immortal.
Baek had sought to learn martial arts, and with her uncanny intuition she had recognized me as a teacher who could instruct her without future complications. That made sense. I had never measured Baek's usefulness, so the thought had felt somewhat bitter. Yet after recent events, it was clear she hadn't judged me by usefulness alone either. While that pleased me, I also knew that clarity couldn't last forever—and that refusing to measure others by usefulness would enrich her life. So instead of making myself an exception, I hoped she would shed that shell entirely.
While lost in these thoughts, I began to rise when a pained groan came from beside me. Turning, I saw Cho Yak rubbing her eyelids with one hand.
"Mmm..."
"Awake?"
"...Sister?"
"Yes, it's me."
Cho Yak's eyes, barely open, focused on me for a moment before she suddenly widened them and grabbed my arm.
"...Guiseon! What happened to Guiseon?"
"Well... unfortunately, I lost him..."
"Then at least you drove him off. That's a relief."
Cho Yak examined me from head to toe and let out a sigh. I asked, "You didn't get your revenge. Does that not matter?"
"I was captured because of my own mistake—what right do I have to complain? I'm simply grateful you saved me. I was worried that because I became a hostage, you were put in danger as well."
Hearing that, I was glad I had spent several hours circulating qi to heal my wounds. If she had seen me with limbs crushed and burn marks all over, she would have spent days digging graves again. Truthfully, it was partly because of me that Cho Yak had been endangered. As a member of Guyeongmun, Guiseon had known me well. Whatever he had heard from Ju-seong, he feared me enough to prepare this elaborate trap with the intent of killing me first.
Explaining all that would take too long, and besides, I had no desire to discuss Guyeongmun with either Baek or Cho Yak. Instead, I stood and offered her my hand.
"There was nothing to worry about, so rest easy."
"I'm simply grateful."
"By the way, about Guiseon—must you be the one to take revenge for your grudge to be settled?"
Cho Yak hesitated, then answered weakly. "No. Not necessarily. He didn't wrong only me, and I don't have the skill to kill him alone anyway. But since he committed a crime, I want him to die in pain and injustice."
"Hmm... I can't guarantee it, but that will probably happen, so you can rest assured."
"What?"
"When I drove him off, I gave him wounds that won't heal easily, so his strength will be greatly diminished. Most of his subordinates died or scattered in yesterday's fight. Do you really think Guyeongmun—that mysterious sect—would let Guiseon, who caused such a blunder and lost both his reputation and his forces, go unpunished?"
"Ah...!"
If Guyeongmun truly was an evil and powerful mysterious sect, then the fate of a leader who made such a mistake was obvious. Those who were honest about committing evil rarely cared about loyalty. Of course, if Guyeongmun wasn't actually an evil mysterious sect and Guiseon's fate improved because of it—well, that wasn't the case either. Ju-seong was a far more cunning and ruthless person than any villain I had ever seen.