The Guiseon Expedition (1)
Master. The Guiseon Expedition (1). Several days had passed since I heard that name. Life at Jipmudang followed the same routine every day: reading, occasionally writing, and sometimes holding forth. Even I hadn't expected it, but I possessed a surprising talent for scholarly work. Reading and writing brought me joy, and everyone seemed eager to hear the stories I told. For the first few days, people had kept their distance because of the incident at my first lecture, but once the cause was clear, fixing it proved simple. By carrying the hourglass I used during lectures, I quickly became one of the most popular figures at Jipmudang. I barely had enough time to practice True Lightning Essence Electricity and assist Gyeon Yo with her research. Asking the dining hall to deliver my meals—bread stuffed with that day's side dishes—straight to my room was hardly unusual. Several other Jeje, including Gyeon Yo, already did the same.
...To be honest, I had been avoiding Cho Yak. How could I not? I was not so shameless that I could convince myself hiding the truth was not the same as lying. Yet telling her that the enemy who had killed her friends and enslaved her for years was in Luoyang—would that truly be a kindness? Knowing Cho Yak as I did, she would drop everything and march straight to Luoyang for revenge. Whatever Guiseon was, anyone invited into that circle had to be formidable in his own domain. I wished I could handle it for her, but all I knew about Guiseon was that Master Ju had once made him one of the Eight Immortals before casting him out. What if he had his own compelling reasons? Even if he was utterly wicked, I had to consider whether I possessed the strength to deal with him before I spoke of drinking kimchi soup.
That was why I had avoided her until today. The moment I lay down to sleep, a knock sounded at my door. I braced myself. Who would disturb someone at this hour? When I opened it, I met Cho Yak's red eyes exactly as expected. She hesitated, lips parting as if to speak, but I spoke first.
"Come in."
While I lit the lamp and poured water into a cup, Cho Yak sat with her legs neatly together, head bowed in silence. Setting the cup before her, I felt my stomach churn. If I were to act on the words I had been rehearsing, there was only one thing to say: tomorrow I would go to her and tell her that her enemy, Guiseon, was in Luoyang. Whether she chose to seek revenge afterward would be her decision. Forbidding her outright was no different from deceiving her to stop her; both were responsibilities I could not bear.
Seated across from her, I struggled to begin. Cho Yak spoke first.
"Why have you been avoiding me?"
It was a question that left no room for easy answers. I forced my heavy lips apart.
"I'm sorry. The truth is, I have something to tell you, Cho, but I was afraid to say it."
"Tell me."
"Guiseon is in Luoyang."
Better to speak plainly than to keep hesitating. I stared at the table and muttered, "It is likely the same man you know. You would know better than I, but he is strong and cunning. If I told you, you would leave at once for revenge, yet I could not bring myself to lie. So I avoided you instead."
For a long while there was no reply, only the sound of a sharp sniff. When I looked up, Cho Yak was glaring at me, brows drawn tight.
"Is that all?"
Her eyes looked unusually bright. For a moment I could not grasp what I had heard. I blinked stupidly. "Huh...?"
Cho Yak pressed on. "I have done nothing wrong, have I?"
"No. It is all my fault."
"At least you know that much."
Her reply carried an edge. I had expected as much. But I had not finished speaking. Before I could continue, Cho Yak spoke again, and I fell silent.
"You avoided me because you thought I would leave if you told me?"
"How could I claim to know your heart? Still, the worry occurred to me, so I kept my distance."
"Then you should have stopped me."
Cho Yak raised both hands onto the table and clenched her fists. I had thought I could endure a blow, yet the sight made me instinctively pull my head back.
"But it would be your decision. How could I stop you?"
"Why couldn't you? You knocked me unconscious in Lanzhou with a single strike. If striking your sworn sister troubles you, threaten to sever our bond and never see me again."
"That is..."
"Because it is not something Sister can take responsibility for?"
I nodded slightly before Cho Yak's fierce gaze. It was plainly beyond my power to bear. She had done no wrong; she was someone I had resolved to respect. If she wished to decide her own life, reaching out to twist that choice would leave me unable to answer for the consequences if things went wrong. Unless I could return to the past and restore her chance to choose, all I could do when someone decided for themselves was either help or stand aside and watch.
Cho Yak sat in silence for a moment, then rose abruptly. "Then I will go at once. You will not stop me, will you?"
When I nodded again, she dropped back into her chair with a thud. After a pause, I ventured, "...Did you not say you were leaving?"
"I'm not going!"
She had said she would go, then said she would not. I had thought her straightforward, yet her heart was far more complicated. Whatever part of my words had displeased her, Cho Yak's face twisted like a goblin's. She huffed, swallowing her anger, then spat out, "...Sister has no intention of persuading me when I try to leave?"
"Well... if you were willing to listen, there is much I would say."
Living forever implied many things. Among them was the power and wisdom needed to obtain what everyone desired and to keep it. I still did not know whether I would truly live forever, but Master Ju and those around him surely did. Of course Cho Yak, who had suffered years under Guiseon, would not lack caution, yet whether that caution matched the level expected of someone bearing the name Guiseon within Guyeongmun was another matter. At the very least, she needed to understand how difficult her task would be.
"Would that not be the same as stopping me?"
"That is different. Whether I persuade you or not, you can still choose to go..."
"Is there any reason I could not go if I truly wished to?"
"What do you mean by that?"
"If I were truly determined to leave, I would have gone even if you threatened to sever our bond. If you stopped me by force, I would have threatened to die rather than be left behind. If even that failed, I would have bided my time, grown stronger, and escaped—or died trying. What could possibly keep me from going?"
The words lodged in my throat; I had no reply. Cho Yak pressed on, voice sharp.
"Where in a person is there such a thing as a single, fixed resolve? There is the desire to go, and there is the reluctance to go. Depending on what Sister says, the wish to leave may grow until I depart, or the wish to stay may grow until I remain. If you think that way, Sister should never speak another word. Who knows whose fickle heart might change because of a single sentence?"
"...Still, there must be a limit. Cho, would you truly be all right if I ignored your will, knocked you unconscious, and locked you away?"
"Yes. I would."
Cho Yak declared it firmly. "Of course I might demand an explanation and feel frustrated, but I would believe you acted with my best interests at heart. If I locked Sister away, it would be for a reason as well. Is that so strange?"
Again I could not answer. Only the sound of Cho Yak's angry breathing filled the silence. When the tea had grown cold, I finally managed to speak, my voice heavy with a sigh.
"It makes me glad that you think so highly of me, Cho."
"And I am glad you are finally pleased to know it."
"Yet even if I could accept you disregarding my wishes for my sake, I cannot bring myself to disregard yours and shoulder that responsibility."
"..."
"So how about this? We could create a signal between us. If I can no longer bear to disregard your will for your own good, then through that signal..."
"Sister."
Cho Yak cut me off, her voice cold—an unthinkable breach of her usual courtesy.
"I tried to understand, but no matter how I turn it over in my narrow mind, your thinking is not the wisdom of long experience. It is simply the eccentricity of someone who has spent too long shut away without seeing people."
"That is rather harsh, Cho. I am not pleased to hear it."
Cho Yak paid no heed.
"Then I will do this. I had every intention of seeking revenge without fail. Even if the world split in two, I meant to march straight to Luoyang. But because of what Sister said, my mind has completely changed. I have decided not to repay the grudge at all. Since Sister changed my mind, you may bear the responsibility for it."
With that, she leaned back against the chair as though she had no intention of returning even to her own room, glaring at me with a sulky expression. I was at a loss. We sat in awkward silence, eyes locked, until one of the oil lamps sputtered out. Only then did I realize how much time had passed. I gathered myself and spoke carefully.
"Cho."
"What?"
"If your mind truly changed because of me, why not go seek revenge as you originally planned?"
Cho Yak's mouth fell open, her brows drew together, and her eyes grew moist again. Before she could speak, I hurried on.
"No—now that I think of it, I could simply go with you. I had meant to call you tomorrow, but Master Ju's reply arrived today. Guiseon is indeed a wicked man, and he bears some fault in this matter. He also offered whatever help he could. So if I accompany you and assist with your revenge..."
Cho Yak's face flushed from red to purple. Her lips opened and closed several times without sound. At last she burst out, voice ringing through the room.
"Then you should have said that from the beginning!"