Nightmare
I was sipping coffee while enjoying the breeze. The wind coming through the window carried a rich scent of fresh greenery. It was the sound of spring arriving.
[If you leave it open like this, pollen will come in. Dad hates that.] My mother entered my room. Having served as a university professor for her entire life, she always carried an air of dignity.
[Still, it's nice. It's spring. You can't catch this fragrance at any other time.] [Why did you send my son to med school instead of literature?] [It's hard to make a living, they say.] [Just become a professor.] [I heard from dad. He was suffering so much right before becoming a professor. He wanted to quit everything...]
[Mom, that guy... what kind of stories is he telling.] Startled, my mother waved her hand in front of me and placed a neatly sliced apple in front of me.
[Eat the apple.] [Did you eat, Mom?] [Me? I eat while slicing it.] I picked up the apple with a fork and handed it to my mother.
[Ei, I've never seen you eat. Please eat here and go.] [...Well, even so, since it's from my son, I'll eat it gratefully.] My mother sat in the seat next to me. I brought the apple to my mouth with my hand. Crisp. The apple was delicious. The sweet and sour juice bursting as I chewed, and the firm flesh crushing, that lightness showed it was the highest quality apple.
[As expected, Mom's fruit selection skills are excellent.] [Mom, this isn't what I picked. I received it as a gift.] Mom smiled as if it was fun. It felt unnecessarily embarrassing.
[Ei, Mom too. Just say you picked it and it would be nice?] [Educators always notice and can't ignore their students' mistakes.] [I'm your son.] [Ho ho. That's right.] Crisp. Whoosh. The wind blew into the house again. The spring scent refreshed my mood along with the apple's sweetness.
[Son. Really amazing.] [What?] [There were so many difficult things, but you handled them well.] Mom's small, wrinkled hand grabbed mine.
[Sorry. I couldn't protect you till the end.] ...... I knew. This wasn't a normal situation. Mom was gone. With dad. Pushed by debt collectors, cornered. Not suicide, but suicide. Such a person couldn't be here in my room like this now. But I couldn't deny Mom. I missed her so much. She was so much Mom. Her speech. Her gestures. And the love she gave me.
[You'll do well from now on. Mom believes in her son.] [Eh... Mom.] Tears welled up in my eyes.
[Why are you crying. You didn't cry till now and did well.] Mom hugged me. The tears that had stopped in front of my eyes started to burst out.
[This kid... you must have suffered.] Pat pat. Mom patted my back. Soft Mom's hand. Warm touch.
[Still, you did well. You raised your daughter well too.] [Yes... yes... Mom... this is all thanks to Mom...] [Your dad will be proud of you.] Mom's hand went from my back to my waist.
[Yeah... there's one thing I'm curious about.] [Eh... what is it?] Swoosh. Suddenly a cool feeling. Mom's hand entered inside my pants. ...She was grabbing my genitals. And.
[Is my daughter really my real granddaughter?] "Haahaaaah!" "Kyaak!"
Dark room. Behind, my daughter was hugging me and screaming.
"What... what is it, Dad?! What's going on?!!!" Dream. It was a dream. What? This dream?
"Ah... Dad. Are you okay?" Daughter fell from my back where I was holding. Startled by my sudden scream, she looked very surprised. Her already big eyes were completely bloodshot.
"Ah... th-that..." Confused. It was too realistic. Mom. The face I wanted to see so much. It was so vivid as if she had really come back. But... why? Why... in the dream, what words did she say?
"Cough! Cough cough!" How surprised, I had a sore throat.
"Dad... wait, I'll get water." Daughter went out to get water because I was coughing heavily. Seeing that my pajamas were half off, I must have tossed around a lot.
"Haa... haa....." I fixed my clothes and sat on the bed. What? Why... did Mom say those words? If she was alive, she wouldn't have said such things. Even if my daughter wasn't my bloodline. That last voice. The treacherous undertone hidden in Mom's soft voice pierced my heart like a needle. The woman in the dream wasn't my Mom. But the problem was that she was so much like Mom until just before.
"Dad... I brought water. Drink this." "Ah... yeah... thanks." The water daughter brought was lukewarm. Good for sore throat. Gulp gulp. Since it was neither cold nor hot, it went down smoothly. With this water, my startled heart also slowly started to calm down.
"Dad... are you okay? Why? You had a strange dream?" Min-ah, who saw my stable appearance, sat next to me and asked.
"Yeah... it's nothing......" "Ei, dad's condition isn't nothing. What? What's going on?" "...Honestly, I feel something but don't remember what... sorry, daughter." "...So how are you feeling now?" "...A little?"
Thud. Min-ah leaned her head on my shoulder. "Does this make it better?" Soft Min-ah's head. Warm and good. The daughter's heart thinking of me was felt intact.
"Min-ah." "Yeah?" "Thanks. For coming to me as my daughter." "...Yeah." Was it good or bad? Min-ah's answer felt a bit hesitant. Well, it could be. A dad who suddenly says "I love you" at dawn would be ridiculous.
"I love you, daughter." "Me too, dad." Tight. Daughter grabbed my waist. Put her head on my shoulder. Like a puppy digging into its master's trusting body. It was my turn to answer the last question the dream woman asked.
"Our daughter... dad loves you." "Yeah......" So, our father-daughter relationship, we leaned on each other for a while and comforted each other's hearts.
**** "Haaaaah." In the end, I woke up in the middle and couldn't even sigh. My mood was relieved, but my sleep was completely broken.
"Dad, let's eat breakfast." 4 AM. A bit early, but enough time to eat breakfast. Fried eggs. 2 strips of bacon. Two slices of toast baked with butter. Slice of tomato. This is the breakfast daughter prepares every weekend. But today is a weekday. Usually, it's the day I prepare breakfast.
"Dad, stay still. Today I'll prepare it." "No, dad..." "Dad had a nightmare. When that happens, stay still! If you doze off and get hurt, what then." Daughter winked and pushed dad away.
"So, dad, rest comfortably, and when daughter calls, come to the table. Got it?" Dad's mind calmed by Min-ah's concern. "Got it. Then sorry, but please, our daughter." "Why is dad sorry. Don't say that." Min-ah's smile. Was it the cure-all?
"...The one who should apologize is me." "What?" "No, dad. Anyway! Hurry and rest a bit more!!" Min-ah ran quickly to the kitchen. When this happens, it's good to listen to the cook's words.
...... So, dad and daughter ate breakfast and spent time chatting casually. And... soon it was time to go to work, and I came to the hospital.
"I'll rest at home today." "Yeah, our daughter. Ah, right. If there's any contact about tuition, tell dad. I'll pay immediately." "Yeah, thanks!" Smack. Min-ah kissed my cheek.
"Dad, hang in there!! Fighting!" After middle school, this kid didn't do that. Normally at this age, she wouldn't say dad is gross. But the feeling... wasn't bad. The dream was bad, but this much is recovery! ...I thought, but I fell asleep.
"Um? You came to work early, did you?" Slightly sheer black stockings. Long legs. Shiny high heels. A short leather skirt that seemed like the hips might be exposed if wrong.
"Ah, you're here?" Our surgeon pay doctor. Ah-rin. Real name Baek Ah-rin. My school junior. Height about 165cm, but good proportions make her legs look very long. But she didn't like to dress up. She dressed like a boy and kept her hair short. Moreover, using military-style speech as a woman was peculiar. So, at one point, she was mistaken for a lesbian.
[Sniff... senior... I'm really wronged... called lesbian... hiccup......] Once, a fake slander post saying Ah-rin is lesbian appeared on the school anonymous bulletin board. After drinking all night, she came straight to me complaining, and fell asleep in my room.
[Ha... senior... only senior, there's no one I can trust... sorry......] Ah-rin must have been really suffering. She looked like a pitiful puppy. I wanted to help. Really purely. So, I actively appealed to other seniors that Ah-rin wasn't a lesbian. It was possible because I had some reputation there. Eventually, the senior with big voice in the department helped sort the situation, allowing her to escape the misunderstanding.
[Thanks! Really thanks!!] From then on. It was when Ah-rin started following me.