A Spring Day's Dream
Our relationship was progressing at a rather brisk pace.
Kim Hye-jin.
The woman I had met through a matchmaking service.
She and I had a great deal in common. In her, I saw my own pain — and she, it seemed, had seen hers in me. Even the reason we had both put ourselves out there was the same.
And yet neither I nor Hye-jin moved in any hurry. Perhaps that was simply the way of people who had been hurt. Even when something stirred, we never rushed.
Little by little. In brief, scattered meetings — we began to see each other.
She was a lawyer. Working at a major firm, the hours she could spare swung wildly depending on whatever case she was handling. And so, naturally, we found ourselves meeting more and more often near her office.
"I'm sorry I keep making you come all the way over to my side. It must be such a bother."
"Not at all. This is more convenient for me, too."
They say a drizzle soaks you through before you even notice. Spending time together in dribs and drabs, we grew close enough before we knew it to be sitting over grilled pork belly and soju.
"The case I'm handling right now looks like it'll wrap up well. Once it's over, I should be able to take some time off... I'll treat you properly then."
"You're a curious one, Hye-jin."
"Why is that?"
"Looking at you, I wouldn't think you'd make much of a lawyer."
"...Why?"
"You're far too sentimental."
Color flooded her face in an instant.
"Ah... s-so you're saying I'm not cut out to be a lawyer? I'll have you know, I... I may not look it, but they say I'm in the running to be the next managing partner at the firm!"
"That's not what I meant."
I took her hand.
You can't hide your age. No matter how young you look, your hands never lie. Even so — it was a hand I kept wanting to hold.
"You would have been better off writing poetry, Hye-jin."
"Ah... ah?!"
"Do you remember what you said to me when we first met, holding that flower petal?"
"Ah... ah!!"
She remembered. Her face grew even redder.
"Th-that!! Please forget about that!!"
"I could never forget it."
"Aigoo! Don't do that! It's embarrassing!"
She started knocking back soju in rapid succession.
"Eat some of the food with it. You'll wreck your stomach like that."
Had what I'd said really embarrassed her that much? She kept pouring liquor down her throat until, in the end, the film ran out and she went under.
I barely managed to get her on her feet and headed for her house. Fortunately, I knew the address from sending a holiday gift last time.
"That'll be 7,500 won."
Her place was in Cheongdam-dong, Seoul. The taxi fare from her office to her front door didn't come to much.
"Hye-jin! Wake up!"
"Ah... mm......"
"She's completely out cold......"
No choice, then. I would have to take her inside.
—Ding-dong—
—Ding-dong—
It was ten at night, but nobody was home.
"She said she had a daughter... is she not here?"
Come to think of it, Hye-jin had never once talked about her daughter. A stark contrast to how much I had talked about mine. I didn't ask. When someone doesn't talk about something, it means there's a problem.
If a middle schooler isn't home at this hour... there's definitely a problem.
The door lock was a fingerprint scanner. I pressed her index finger to it, and it clicked open.
Her house was lavish. It had to be at least eighteen hundred square feet. Marble floors. Leather sofas you could tell were expensive at a glance. She was clearly doing well for herself as a lawyer.
"Ugh... there."
I laid her on the bed in the master bedroom. I remembered, quite clearly, her telling me that if you lay a drunk person on their back, they can choke to death on their own vomit. So I turned her onto her side.
"Ah... nn......"
Maybe it was the alcohol. Laid out like that, her body looked rather sexy.
......
Ugh. What am I even thinking.
Stop it.
We were dating. But we hadn't yet confirmed our feelings enough to take things as far as sex. So I left her in the clothes she'd been wearing. I'd heard that plenty of people preferred different clothes for going out versus sleeping... she might not like it when she woke up.
Time to go, then.
A hand closed around my thigh.
"...Why... are you just leaving?"
"Ah... you were awake? I thought you'd passed out drunk. I'm sorry. You were sleeping so soundly — it was rude of me to come into your house without permission."
Her grip tightened.
"That's... not it."
"......"
"Eun-hyeok... do I not look like a woman to you?"
I looked at her. She had her face buried in the pillow, apparently too embarrassed to show it.
"What's gotten into you. This isn't like you, Hye-jin."
"...I don't know. I'm embarrassed... I don't know why I'm doing this."
Her hand slipped inward, toward my groin.
"I'm... a woman too. I want to be loved."
"...That's not fair."
"...Why?"
"If you do this without even showing me your face... I can't tell what you're really feeling."
"...It's embarrassing."
"What's embarrassing about it."
I lifted her up.
"Kyah!"
A whiff of soju. And her face was like a perfectly ripe strawberry.
"P-put me down! It's embarrassing...!"
"If you had the courage to grab me down there, then at least look me in the face!"
"...Hah... ah!"
When I raised my voice, tears welled slightly in her eyes.
Ah... right. She had told me she'd spent years being beaten by her ex-husband. This kind of push wasn't good.
"I'm sorry... that's not what I meant."
"No... I... I was the one who......"
I pulled her into my arms.
"Ah... ah."
"You haven't done a single thing wrong, Hye-jin."
I could feel her chest against mine. The wild hammering of her heart resonated through my body.
"Be confident. The way you were when we first met."
"Ah... th-that's......"
"That's what I fell for. That confidence of yours."
"Ah... I......"
The crimson lipstick had long since worn away. Her faded, pale-pink lips were a little chapped — and they looked far too tempting to steal.
"How am I?"
She asked it gathering every scrap of courage the alcohol would give her.
"You're lovely."
At that, she turned her head away.
"Why."
"I-it's embarrassing."
"Look at me."
Slowly, she turned her face toward mine.
"We've had enough time, haven't we."
A nod.
"And it's not as if we're children."
A nod.
"But that girlish way you act just makes me want you even more."
"Ah......"
A small, caught breath.
"So... is it all right?"
......
No answer.
"If you don't want to, I won't. But I'll be clear with you. I want you, Hye-jin."
"Th-that's......"
Instead of answering, she nodded.
I began to bring my lips to hers.
I spun around.
"Ah... Ah-rin!!"
A girl with a bob cut was standing there. She was short, in pants and a short-sleeved shirt. If you didn't look closely, you might have mistaken her for a boy — she had that little femininity about her. Piercings in her nose, her ears, and her lip. You could tell at a glance she was the type who ran wild.
That was Hye-jin's daughter. Ah-rin.
"Dad was right! He left me because of the way you act!!"
"Ha-yoon... ahh... I'm so sorry."
Hye-jin rushed toward her daughter.
"There's a gentleman here right now — why are you talking like that? I'll explain everything, so please go to your room......"
"You crazy bitch!!"
A sharp crack split the air.
"Kyah!"
I couldn't believe my own eyes.
The daughter had struck Hye-jin across the face.
Already drunk, she crumpled helplessly to the floor.
"You like selling your body for money that much?! Do you?! You fucking bitch! You ruined my life!!"
Then she started driving her foot into Hye-jin, over and over, without a shred of mercy.
"Give me my dad back!! Dad!! Daaaaad!!"
I caught her by the arm.
"What the—?!"
"Stop."
"You incel piece of shit!!"
Ah-rin threw a punch, but she was still just a kid. I didn't even need to catch it. The blow landed against me with a dull, useless thud.
"Uh...?"
I grabbed her and flung her onto the bed.
"If you don't want to end up at the police station, don't go throwing punches at people you don't even know."
"Ugh... ugh!"
Overwhelmed by the sheer difference in strength, she seemed too frightened to speak. But the defiance in her hadn't gone anywhere.
"Eun... Eun-hyeok...!!"
Hye-jin caught hold of me.
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I'll handle this......"
"But...!!"
"Please."
Desperation was written all over her face. I couldn't say anything more.
I looked down at her daughter, still sprawled on the bed where I'd thrown her. A warning had to be given. Hye-jin had spent a long, long time being abused by her ex-husband. That abuse could not be allowed to continue through her daughter.
I pressed my thick fingers one by one, each joint giving a slow, deliberate crack.
"Ugh... uuuugh!!"
No matter how tough she tried to act, she was still a child. Against a six-foot-three adult, she couldn't help but be crushed.
"Eun-hyeok... I'm sorry... I'll contact you."
And so... that day passed.
And then......
The next day.
After a single text from Hye-jin, I couldn't reach her anymore.
I'm sorry, Eun-hyeok. I wanted to make it work... but I don't think we can see each other anymore.
Please forgive the discourtesy from me and my daughter.
You're a good man, so I'm sure you'll find someone far better than me.
Summer is almost here.
I wanted to spend that season of boundless energy with you.
I'm sorry it couldn't be.
One spring day, with the cherry blossoms falling.
I will never forget it.
Thank you for the wonderful memories.
......
It was so hollow.
To end like this.
But... I couldn't go looking for her. Her house. Her workplace. Even knowing where they were, I couldn't. There would be circumstances. Circumstances involving her daughter. Family matters are more complicated than you'd think. You can't just barge into them.
I decided to forget.
It had been a short meeting. It never even continued. And yet, every now and then, it still comes to mind.
"Dad? What are you thinking about?"
"Ah... yeah."
Right. This was all because my daughter had brought up remarriage while we were eating steak.
"Remarriage? At my age?"
My lovely daughter. Min-ah beamed at me.
"Nuh-uh~ Dad, you still look like you're in your thirties. And I still look like a teenager."
A mischievous look was starting to creep across her face.
"Doesn't it kind of look like we're sugar dating?"
"Min-ah! I told you not to use words like that!"
"Hehe, sorry. I just feel weirdly giddy."
My daughter, looking thoroughly pleased with herself, went back to her sirloin steak — and I started in on my own tenderloin.