Chapter 222
Chapter 222
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 222
Chapter Title: Love Prepared for Death
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It was a sentence that evoked something profound and strangely poignant.
It felt even more so right now, probably because Hyorin wasn't here.
It made me feel like she had truly known she would die and loved me anyway.
"W-What does 'love prepared for death' mean?"
When I asked, not knowing, Kerry smiled brightly and explained.
"Hyorin said it. Even if it ended like in a movie, with her dying, she would love you until the end. Hyorin looked truly happy when she said it."
"Hyorin said that?"
"Yes, that's what she told me."
Hearing that Hyorin had said such a thing, I couldn't help but have a lot on my mind.
It was as if she really knew something.
But Kerry, unaware of my feelings, continued.
"If something like that really happened, I would have made the same choice."
But such a thing would never happen.
Reality wasn't a movie.
Even so, if I assumed it could...
[Choosing otherwise would be right.]
Would there really be someone who would choose that path, knowing they would die?
Perhaps because of those thoughts, I asked in a slightly heavy voice.
"Why?"
"Why?"
I nodded.
Kerry looked at the painting I had drawn and said.
"You can tell from the painting. That you, the artist, still haven't forgotten Hyorin. How could you not love someone who loves you like this, someone who taught you what love is, even knowing it would lead to death? I probably would have done the same. Because the love is worth facing death for."
No, that's not it.
Absolutely not.
If it came down to survival or love...
You had to choose survival.
No matter what the process was.
That was the rational choice.
That was human instinct.
So absolutely...
You must not choose death.
That's when Kerry asked.
"Then what would you do, artist? If the outcome was death, do you have the confidence you wouldn't love Hyorin?"
To that question, I...
[I...]
Couldn't give any answer.
* * *
"Then I'll see you in six days."
"Ah, yes. I wanted to show you around Seoul, but that's too bad."
"No need. You have work with the director, and she'll introduce you to other galleries, so you should be able to sightsee plenty."
"Yes, then."
Swoosh.
With that, Kerry got into the director's car, promising to meet in six days.
Then, Daeun, who had been standing beside me, asked.
"Dad, are we going home now?"
"Ah, yeah. There's side dishes at home, so let's buy some meat on the way and grill pork belly."
"Wooow! Go, Dad! Daeun loves meat!"
"Yeah, then let's go in and pack up."
With that, Daeun and I went back into the studio.
Daeun packed her tools that she had brought and left there into her bag one by one, and as I was organizing my own tools...
Swoosh.
I looked at the spot where the painting had been.
The director had taken it to store at the gallery, so it was an empty space now.
[Love prepared for death.]
For some reason, Kerry's words kept lingering in my head.
[Foolish thoughts.]
I'd had similar thoughts once before.
If I could turn back time, what would I choose?
Of course, even then, I couldn't choose.
Saving Hyorin would mean Daeun wouldn't be born.
Choosing Daeun would mean I couldn't save Hyorin.
Of course, I'd somehow find a way to save both.
But it wasn't as easy as it sounded.
That's what fate was like.
[What would I do?]
Kerry had asked.
If I were in the same situation, what would I do?
I couldn't answer that question.
But if I put myself in her shoes...
Gulp.
[Not loving Hyorin?]
Just thinking it tore at my heart.
It felt like tears would pour out.
It was sad, painful.
Not loving the person you love because of death.
How horrific an idea was that?
I didn't want to think like that.
Even if she died, I would somehow love Hyorin...
"Hoo."
If the positions were reversed, wouldn't I choose the same?
No, I probably would have made the same choice as Hyorin.
No matter how frightening death was, not loving Hyorin was even more terrifying.
I love Hyorin.
Even if death comes.
Hyorin probably thought the same.
Love prepared for death.
Perhaps that sentence hid this meaning.
[If I don't love you, it feels like I'll die.]
I loved Hyorin.
Enough to die for it.
That was the answer to Kerry's question.
* * *
The six days flew by.
I woke up early in the morning and took out the clothes I'd bought for Daeun at the department store a few days ago.
It was a white dress with a simple ribbon, specially bought for the exhibition.
I couldn't have her wear her usual clothes in front of people.
After preparing the clothes, I cleaned up the breakfast table we'd just finished.
Meanwhile, Daeun had been getting ready to go out.
That's when I heard Daeun's voice, full of worry.
"Dad! Daeun wants to look super pretty today!"
"Yeah, Daeun?"
"Yeah! But I don't know how!"
"What does that mean?"
"Dad, help!"
At her plea for help, I stopped preparing breakfast and rushed to the bathroom.
There, I saw Daeun's hair in a total mess.
"W-What are you doing right now?"
Surprised, I asked, and Daeun pouted her lips.
"Mom did my hair pretty before! Daeun wants that hair, so!"
So, she wanted the hairstyle Hyorin had done for her in her memory.
What kind of hairstyle could it be?
Wanting to do whatever Daeun wanted, I asked again.
"What kind was it? Can you describe it?"
"Uh, well..."
When I asked her to explain, Daeun shook her head back and forth, thinking hard.
Then, with an "Ah!" she grabbed her sketchbook and started drawing the hairstyle she wanted.
[Being good at drawing helps in times like this.]
Scribble scribble.
The picture Daeun drew.
"Oh, this!"
Seeing it, I quickly opened my phone.
I'd transferred all the photos from Hyorin's old phone.
Going through them from start to finish, I immediately found a photo with the exact same hairstyle as what Daeun had just drawn.
Swoosh.
"Is this it?"
When I showed her the photo, Daeun's face lit up.
"Yeah! That's it!"
"This is a poop bun."
"Poop... Pfft! Daeun's hair is poop!"
At the words "poop bun," Daeun burst out laughing as if it was the funniest thing.
The hairstyle Daeun drew and confirmed in the photo was the so-called poop bun, a single high ponytail twisted up.
It looked neat, with strands falling to the side adding atmosphere.
Thinking it would match perfectly with the dress she was wearing today, I wanted to do the hairstyle she wanted.
"I'll give it a try, Dad."
Saying that, I went behind Daeun and first properly brushed her tangled hair.
[Can I do it?]
I'd done Daeun's hair many times before, so it wasn't awkward.
But since it was my first time trying this, I was a bit worried.
Still, I had no intention of giving up before starting.
I just focused on making it as close as possible to what she wanted!
Swoosh.
I gathered all her hair in one hand and lifted it up.
Then, twisting it one turn, two turns, I secured it with the rubber band in my other hand so it wouldn't come loose.
But...
[Ah, all the hair is falling down.]
No, how do you even do this hairstyle?
While I was struggling with Daeun's hair for a while...
Ding-dong!
The doorbell rang.
At the sound, Daeun's eyes sparkled.
"Kerry Auntie's here!"
"Ah, has it been that long already?"
Kerry had asked me to see the house Hyorin lived in.
She said she'd been to my house before, but never Hyorin's.
So, even though it was a bit small, I invited Kerry over.
This place was filled with memories of Hyorin, Daeun, and me, after all.
"Wait just a sec."
"Okay! Got it!"
Saying that, I hurried to the entrance and opened the door.
There I saw Kerry and the director who had come up following her.
"Hello."
"This place always feels the same. Cozy and nice."
At the director's words, I let the two inside.
"Come in first. I was just preparing breakfast anyway."
As I stepped aside, they smiled and entered.
"So this is the house Hyorin lived in."
As soon as Kerry entered, she looked around the house full of Hyorin's scent.
Photos on the walls.
Handwritten notes filled with Hyorin's heart.
And paintings.
Now that I thought about it, even after Hyorin went to heaven, the house was still full of her presence.
Probably because I couldn't bear to throw away her things instinctively.
Swoosh.
Then, Daeun came out of the bathroom, her hair messed up again from several attempts, and greeted them.
"Hello!"
"Hmm..."
"Yeah."
Seeing Daeun's hair, the two had strange expressions.
Then, very cautiously, Kerry asked.
"I-Is that a trendy Korean hairstyle these days?"
No way.
Worried they might misunderstand, I quickly explained.
"Ah, no, Daeun wanted a poop bun, but I don't know how, so we've been trying."
"Ah... That's a relief."
"Yeah, really."
Did they think I was actually going to send Daeun to the exhibition like this?
"But what's a poop bun?"
At Kerry's question, I held out the phone I'd grabbed from the bathroom and showed her.
"It's this shape."
"Yeah, that's an apple bun."
"Right."
"That's what you were trying to do?"
Swoosh.
Kerry smiled brightly and said.
"Or I could try."
"Yes?"
"Looking at what you did, it seems like it would take quite a while."
Then Kerry asked.
"How about I do it?"
"Yes! Sounds good!"
With that, Daeun turned her back to Kerry.
Her messy hair.
Brush brush, she quickly combed it and, with practiced ease, gathered it into a perfect poop bun in no time.
[...What?]
Seeing the perfectly done hair in an instant, I felt like the world was lying to me.
The hair that had been falling wildly when I tried.
It was fixed as solidly as if glued.
It was amazing and surprising.
With the completed hairstyle, Daeun ran over to check it.
"Wooow! That's it! Go, Kerry Auntie!"
She seemed to love it.
Then, the hair of the running-back Daeun matched the photo exactly.
Seeing that, the director said.
"Good thing we came. Otherwise, it would have taken forever."
"Y-Yeah."
An unexpected help.
But at least we could finish preparing without being late.
Swoosh.
"Dad! Daeun looks pretty!"
Daeun, in the dress I'd prepared ahead, spun around once for everyone to see.
It was one I'd chosen, but I thought I'd picked really well, when...
Thud thud thud!
Daeun dashed off somewhere.
It was the family room with tons of her paintings on the walls.
There, looking at the painting of Hyorin's face on the wall, she shouted energetically.
"Mom! Daeun's going to her first exhibition and coming back!"
The kid, really.
And so, the day of Daeun's first solo exhibition dawned.