Gaslighting
"Hmm~ Junsu, dear?"
"Yes...?"
Lunchtime. I had just finished eating with Sookmo as usual and we were at the cafeteria. She rested her chin on her hand, staring at me. "Is something the matter? You don't look so good."
"No, it's nothing..."
I couldn't tell her I thought Mom had found out. Not that it was her, but that she’d found out about me and Chaeyu.
"Tell me~" Sookmo said, reaching out to rest her hand on the back of mine. Her touch was so soft that I almost blurted it out.
"No... I just think I might be in trouble with Mom..."
"In trouble? About what?"
"I don't even know. She just brought it up out of the blue when I was leaving for work this morning..."
Could she have found out about what we did in the car? I might have left some evidence behind because I was so frazzled... No, if that were the case, I would have heard about it the very next day. Maybe she caught us doing it at home? I had been forced to do it with Chaeyu even when Mom was around, after all.
"Hmm~ Did she happen to mention me?"
"No... she didn't mention you, Manager Jang. She just asked if something was going on with my younger sister."
"Aha~"
I’ve been maintaining a delicate distance from Sookmo lately. It’s not an everyday thing, just occasionally. We had one incident in the breakroom that forced me to run to the bathroom to clean up.
"She didn't tell you exactly what she meant, did she?"
"No... I think I have to hear it from her directly."
"Then don't worry about it~ I'm sure you'll be able to explain it properly once you do."
"Do you... think so?"
...If I told Mom that I was also a sex partner with Chaeyu, would she understand? No, absolutely not. It’s not just anyone; it’s her own daughter. Even if I am her son.
Ah, this is complicated.
"I don't think today will work out, then~"
"What? What do you mean?"
"Your hands are shaking quite a bit. I was going to ask you out on a date."
"...Aren't you being a bit too blunt?"
"Oh my, was I?"
I’m sorry, Uncle. I’m the one who turned your wife into this kind of person.
"Hmm~ Are you close with your sister? I heard you only met a few months ago."
"Yes. We've gotten quite close. Maybe because we were apart for so long, we find that we have a lot in common."
The problem is that we have *too much* in common. We’ve been going out and having fun a lot, too.
"That's a relief~ Do you fight often, then?"
"It's more like she scolds me than we fight. I accidentally broke something expensive of hers recently..."
"Ah~ well, that’s enough to make anyone angry."
"Yeah... it was 100 percent my fault, so I just reassembled it and apologized."
"You're a good brother~"
"Haha..."
"Other than that, you haven't fought?"
"Um... no. Just the usual bickering, I guess?"
"I see~"
She’s never truly climbed over me, but I have been scolding her whenever she gets a little too cheeky. She can’t really resist me lately, though.
"I hope it gets resolved well~"
"Me too..."
"Let me know when it's all settled~ I have something to tell you, too."
"Something to tell me...?"
"Yes. We'll talk later~"
"......Right."
What is it now? What is Sookmo's problem?
"......"
After work, I waited for Mom at a cafe. I was so nervous that I’d already finished half my drink by the time she arrived.
As expected, when I didn't arrive on time, Chaeyu started pestering me to hurry up. Even I think her obsession is starting to get a little scary. It feels like she’s hiding a different motive, not just sex. I need to have a real talk with Chaeyu sometime soon. If things keep going like this, I feel like something terrible is going to happen.
"You're here."
"I've been waiting. I finished a bit late."
"No, it's fine."
Mom ordered a drink and sat down. Thinking about the conversation regarding Chaeyu made me terrified to look her in the eye. No matter how much we’ve strayed from ethical boundaries, some things just shouldn't be.
"Eat some cake. You must be hungry."
"Ah... yes..."
It went into my mouth, but I couldn't swallow it. My throat was so tight I could barely get the coffee down.
"Let's talk quickly and head home."
"Yes..."
"Is something going on with Chaeyu?"
"......"
I racked my brain, but I couldn't think of any excuse or explanation. Should I be honest, as Sookmo suggested? ...No, that's impossible, even if I were to die and come back to life.
"Are you being blackmailed or something?"
"...Blackmailed?"
When I stayed silent, Mom finally spoke up. I mean, she hadn't exactly blackmailed me. But telling her that we were in that kind of relationship wouldn't do anyone any good.
"Right. You broke Chaeyu's statue, didn't you? I was worried she might be demanding something unreasonable from you because of that."
"Aha..."
Certainly, I still felt guilty about that. And Chaeyu kept using it against me. But that wasn't the real cause.
"Phew..."
I let out a sigh of relief. At least it seemed she didn't know exactly what was going on between me and Chaeyu.
"That's... not it. She just says things as a joke sometimes."
"Is that so? Then was there something else?"
"......"
Ever since she took the contraceptive pill that day, her personality has changed a lot. It’s like she’s forcing me to call out to her. I couldn't say that, though.
"Um... she just keeps trying to stick to me."
It was an excuse I scraped together. Since it was true that she was clingy, I wasn't technically lying.
"No wonder. She’s been like that lately. I see..."
Mom's straw turned pink, then back to an opaque color. She looked at me with eyes full of worry and sighed.
"Is there a problem?"
"It seems like she really likes you too much."
"......"
My heart sank for a moment, but I tried to act like I was fine. What kind of expression am I making right now? She couldn't have noticed, could she?
"Chaeyu?"
"Yes. We haven't had any men in our house until now, and she went to an all-girls middle and high school. I think she just wants to cling to you because you're the closest man to her."
"Aha..."
I already knew she went to an all-girls school. She told me when we were talking on the app. She started using the app because her friends at university were always talking about their boyfriends, so she decided to try and get one herself. And I just happened to be the first person she met.
"She looks at you like she's dripping honey whenever she sees you."
"Is that so...?"
"Yes. Just like me—"
"What?!"
"Never mind, forget I said that."
"......"
"......"
Dripping honey? No, Mom is like that too? Is this a case of "like mother, like daughter"?
"A-hem!"
I cleared my throat to cover up the awkwardness that had suddenly filled the air.
"Anyway. Don't give in to everything she wants. She might actually start thinking that way."
"Yes..."
"Then, by any chance..."
Mom hesitated, looking around. Then, her eyes met mine and drifted slightly downward.
"Does Chaeyu ever... ask you to hold her? Or anything like that? Skinship?"
"...!"
If there were a mirror, I would have wanted to look at it and fix my expression. I felt like any lie I told would be found out immediately. We had already done much more than just holding each other, more than I had with Mom.
"...Well, I mean... I do hold her."
"Is that so? Is holding her all there is?"
"......Yes."
"That's a relief... I was worried she might be thinking something wrong."
"Ch-Chaeyu is an adult too... she must have her own thoughts..."
"If she asks for anything more than that, you have to respond firmly. Do you understand?"
"Of course..."
It felt like it was already way too late to be firm. Still, I felt a strong need to take some kind of action.
"...What about you, Mom?"
"Me...?"
"Mom... why did you do that to me?"
Chaeyu is Chaeyu, but Mom is no exception. We shouldn't be doing that as family. We share the same blood.
"Mom is... that..."
Mom's face suddenly flushed red. She couldn't meet my eyes and was busy looking anywhere else.
"That... um... Mom is..."
"......Yes."
"I just didn't want Junsu to be in a difficult position... that's why..."
"......"
I suppose if we had both come home and acted like total strangers, living like a normal family, I might have been caught masturbating 100 percent, or I might have forced myself on both of them. I decided to think that Mom was preventing that from happening.
"If... if, by any chance."
"Yes?"
"If Chaeyu... makes that kind of request to me..."
My heart was pounding so hard as I spoke that I was shaking. It was practically an admission that we had already done it.
"Shouldn't I... do it for Chaeyu's sake?"
"......"
To prevent her from meeting this guy or that guy without thinking, or having the wrong ideas. Because I didn't want her to be in a difficult position. I declared that just as Mom had done for me, I wanted to do the same for Chaeyu.
"...Are you serious?"
"No... I... I was just saying. Hahaha..."
Seeing Mom's flustered expression, I immediately backed down. Mom rubbed her temples and sighed.
"For now... I'll pretend I didn't hear that..."
"Ah... right..."
I mean, she wouldn't allow it, would she? It would be strange for her to allow it in the first place.
"Shall we go now? You must be hungry. Let's go home and I'll make you something to eat."
"Yes."
Before the atmosphere could get any weirder, I packed my things and stood up.
"I don't like being compared..."
"What? What did you just say?"
"Oh, nothing. Never mind."
Before the parking lot closed, I hurried to the car. Since it was quiet inside the car, the atmosphere felt strange again for no reason.
"Junsu."
"Yes."
"Don't tell Chaeyu... you know?"
"Yes... of course I know."
"Really... if that kind of thing ever happens..."
"......"
"No. Mom trusts you, Junsu."
Mom gently took my hand. As I played with her soft skin, our eyes met.
"Why?"
"No... I'm just worried I won't be able to hold back if Chaeyu does that."
"Aha."
I thought to myself, *Since I don't think I can hold back, please take care of it.* The distance between us closed naturally. Without hesitation, I explored Mom's lips.
"Ugh... haa..."
"...Let's go."
"Yes."
All the way home, even though she knew it was more comfortable to lean back against the car seat, Mom leaned against my shoulder.
"......"
And on my phone, there were over twenty messages waiting.