The Unintended Proximity
"Yesterday... it never happened. You understand?"
The Manager—no, my Sookmo—had been very clear about that. Because of her insistence, I hadn't brought up 'that incident' at the office, nor had I let it show in my behavior. However...
"Junsu~ Good morning~"
"Junsu, shall we have lunch together?"
"...Junsu. You have something on your face."
The frequency with which the Manager called for me had increased dramatically. She didn't even go through the assistant manager anymore; she just called me directly. It was a situation anyone would find suspicious. The assistant manager had even asked me if something was going on, and I’d just told him I’d been helping look after Seoa.
"We didn't have anything going on, right?"
"......Yes."
So, the truth about that incident remained known only to the two of us. The fact that I had drunk my Sookmo's breast milk.
"But, Manager..."
"Call me Sookmo here."
"...It's because of you, Sookmo."
"Yes...?"
I hadn't ignored her words. I had simply been forced into a corner where I couldn't avoid them. Before the business trip, she barely called for me, but now that she was doing it so often, what would people think? 'This is all for Sookmo's sake...' Of course, part of it was also because she was my Sookmo. The fact that I had slept with her—a woman who had already given birth to two children—weighed heavily on me.
"You said nothing happened, but you're acting like something clearly did. Like how you link your arms with mine..."
"Did I... do that...?"
"Yes. You did."
If I had reacted positively here, people would have whispered even more. That was an absolutely undesirable outcome. There was nothing worse than being the subject of office gossip.
"......"
Finally realizing something, Sookmo bit her lip hard. Her ears turned bright red, and her eyes began to tremble.
"...Did you remember?"
"...I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
"Knowing that is enough..."
The misunderstanding was cleared up, at least. But a question still remained for me.
"But Sookmo, why did you do that?"
"Do what...?"
"I'm curious why you acted so... intimate with me. Isn't it normal to become cold and distant after saying we should pretend it never happened?"
"......"
Sookmo couldn't say a word to my question. Just like when she was stumped during our first meeting, she looked visibly flustered.
"...It's because of you, Junsu."
"Me...?"
"You were the one who said you didn't want to..."
"......"
"The next day. Don't you remember...?"
Not the day of the first meeting, when I had coveted that delicate yet heavy body. It was the next morning, the second day, when we declared that yesterday had never happened.
"........"
Reflecting on that day, I didn't think it was entirely Sookmo's fault.
"Yesterday's events... they never happened... you understand?"
"...Of course."
That morning, I started work, determined never to speak of what happened the day before.
"Waaaaah!"
Seeing this for the second time, I was getting used to it. When I heard about it while dropping off Seoa yesterday, the crying was only for a moment, and she played well with the other kids. The daycare teacher had told me that babies often put on an act.
"......"
The atmosphere became awkward again once we were alone. We had just returned to normal, but it felt like a strange current was flowing between us. 'How could I forget...'
People who say they will forget rarely ever do. Especially regarding matters like this; we were just playing a game of cat and mouse, trying to align our stories. It didn't mean we had truly forgotten. It wasn't even just ordinary sex; I had drunk her breast milk.
"Do you want to raise a child, Junsu~?"
Just as I was thinking about what to say, the Manager spoke first.
"Yes. Of course."
"Why~?"
"Um... I just... I guess I want that kind of family life..."
"I think you'd be good at raising one, Junsu~"
"Is that so...?"
"Yes~ Because you're a... kind person, Junsu~"
"Haha..."
As expected, the Manager's praise felt awkward. It made me think there was some strange hidden meaning behind it.
"Junsu~ Could you organize this into one file~? And please post the meeting schedule in the group chat later~"
"Yes."
Her clothes were different from yesterday, but the atmosphere was the same. With her hair pulled back, she looked great in a suit, just like Mom. The only difference was that she wore a skirt instead of pants. Unlike Mom, who wore them occasionally, the Manager seemed to wear skirts regularly.
"Phew..."
"......"
Perhaps because she was right next to me, the sound of her sighing was vivid. My eyes drifted to her lips, coated in light lipstick. I wondered why she had to expose her slender neckline; every time I saw it, I was reminded of yesterday.
"...Junsu?"
"Yes?!"
"Did you finish everything I asked you to do?"
"Ah... I'm in the middle of it. I'll do it quickly."
"Yes. Please have it done by the morning."
"Yes."
I had been caught staring. The Manager treated me as if nothing had happened yesterday. Of course, that was what I wanted, and what I needed to do. But my instincts said otherwise.
"What should we have for lunch?"
After handing over the work I'd been given, I was looking for good restaurants nearby, wanting to eat somewhere other than the company cafeteria.
"Should we all eat together today? To discuss the meeting."
"......"
I had been caught earlier, but my eyes wandered again. This time, they drifted below her neckline, toward the breasts I had suckled. The bra visible beneath her shirt was particularly eye-catching.
"...Junsu?"
"Ah, yes. All together...?"
"...Shall we have a coffee for a moment?"
"...Yes."
She let it slide once, but she wouldn't a second time. I was dragged up to the rooftop where we had been yesterday.
"You know why I called you here, right?"
"...I'm sorry."
Perhaps because there were others around, she chose her words carefully to be considerate of me. I just kept apologizing.
"......Junsu."
Only after the person who had been smoking left did the Manager finally speak.
"It's troublesome if you keep... staring like that..."
"I'm sorry..."
"You know very well that you shouldn't do this."
"Yes..."
"...It can't be helped. Just this once──"
"Thank you."
Thanks to her, I completely came to my senses. I shouldn't have started a relationship like this in the first place. Perhaps because of Mom and Chaeyu, I had become too accustomed to it.
"Yes?"
"Thanks to you, I've come to my senses. I won't do it again."
"No... that's not..."
"I will take today's events to the grave."
Actually, I had intended to ask her to have lunch with just the two of us, but if I had, the Manager would have been uncomfortable again. Since she had suggested we all eat together, I would just have to let the others choose.
"...Wait a moment, Junsu."
"Yes?"
"......"
The Manager grabbed the hem of my shirt. Then, her fingers crawled up, and she took my hand.
"...It's okay until today."
"......"
It was okay until today? What did she mean? I had already discarded my lingering feelings for the Manager. It was a relationship that had to be that way.
"Ah... that's fine. You don't have to test me."
This was a kind of test. She was verifying if I truly held no dark intentions toward her. If I had been happy and pulled her hand to embrace her, it would have been a real disaster.
"Junsu."
"Yes."
The Manager glared at me as if she had something to say. It wasn't filled with hostility, but it didn't seem like praise, either.
"...Never mind. Let's go down."
"Yes."
Just like that, I thought my connection with the Manager had ended. That was before I knew she was my Sookmo. That was why I had no choice but to avoid her even more.
♠
"...Did you have something you wanted to say back then?"
"No... yes. I did."
"What was it?"
Sookmo took a step closer. By now, the next sequence was fully prepared, and guests were starting to arrive one by one. In the midst of that, my eyes drifted to Sookmo's collarbone.
"I told you. It's okay... until today."
"Were you serious...?"
"...What if I said I was?"
"...I don't think that would work."
Even so, that was only for then. Even if I had known she was serious, I wouldn't have laid a hand on the Manager—no, my Sookmo—anymore.
"...Is that so?"
"Our positions... yes..."
"I suppose... that's true... because that's normal."
In truth, now that I knew she was my Sookmo, it was even more so. I didn't want to expand my family any further. To be precise, I didn't want to expand my family beyond what it already was.
"Still... I hope you won't ignore me."
"Yes... I understand. I wasn't ignoring you in the first place..."
"Anyway! Do well at the company──"
"Honey. When are you coming? Everyone is waiting."
"Ah~ I'm coming~"
My uncle had arrived. Since he said everyone was waiting downstairs, I followed him. I had hoped it would end like this, but the lingering feeling of unease bothered me quite a bit.
"What were you talking about with Sookmo?"
"Oh, nothing... just work stuff. She said to tell her if the assistant manager gives me a hard time..."
On the way home after parting with my uncle's family, Chaeyu had fallen asleep leaning on my shoulder, and Mom asked me.
"Ah~ That's nice. A relative who is a reliable superior?"
"It's not all good..."
When doing business, especially with family, one must be very careful. You can't just quit because they're family, and if money problems get tangled up, there's nothing you can do. You have to be especially careful with relatives. They aren't immediate family, so if things go south, they can disappear without a trace.
"But isn't Sookmo a good person? She seemed like one."
"Yes. She is. She's a good person."
Aside from the fact that our current relationship was a bit awkward, she was an ideal superior. Thinking about it again, I didn't want to get involved in that way anymore. That was what I thought.
"Good morning."
"Good morning~"
"...!"
The usual greeting at the start of the workday. But today, something felt quite different. The assistant manager was nowhere to be seen. 'Right. The assistant manager went on a business trip.' Because I had gone in his place last time, he was the one on the trip today. He said he was going to Pangyo, not Busan. He said he was glad to get away from the terrifying Manager.
"But Sook... Manager..."
"Yes~?"
"It seems the seating has changed a bit..."
The assistant manager, who used to sit next to me, had moved in front of me, and the Manager had moved next to me. No wonder there was a mountain of luggage piled up in front of me.
"Ah, they kept telling me to fill the vacancy, so I changed it. I didn't want to change it either."
"Aha..."
The Department Head answered for me instead. Strangely, our company had a suspicious frequency of seat changes. My friends say it's the same for them; maybe it's a trend these days.
"When Assistant Manager Kang comes back, tell him to organize it himself. Don't help him."
"Yes~"
"Yes..."
Just as I was getting used to the suddenly changed seating, I felt an intense gaze from beside me, even though she wasn't a woman. Wait, she was a woman.
"Junsu. I'm counting on you~?"
"I'm counting on you too──!"
Sookmo pulled her chair close to mine. Then, she whispered into my ear.
"Don't forget our promise. You understand?"
"......Yes."
It seemed something had gone terribly wrong.