To the Empire [2]
I was so dumbfounded by this absurd situation that I couldn't even muster a hollow laugh.
What the hell is this? How is this supposed to pass for anything normal? Anyone with eyes could see it's a monster draped in horsehide.
Three times the normal size, demonic vertical pupils, and purple flames rippling from its hooves.
It's cool, though.
Honestly, it's right up my alley, but the problem is dragging this thing around would draw the eyes of the entire continent.
'Haa...'
I sighed, wondering if I should slap an illusion on it, when Lulu twitched in my arms and squirmed.
Thinking she was scared, I looked down—only to get an unexpected reaction.
Her eyes sparkled like she'd spotted a gem.
"...Hm?"
As I stared in confusion, she glanced back and forth between my face and my eyes.
Her lips twitched, as if asking, 'Can I touch it?'
I chuckled helplessly and gently set Lulu down on the ground.
The moment permission was granted, she toddled cautiously toward the horse.
Then she placed her delicate, fern-like hand on its sturdy foreleg and let out a gasp of awe.
"Ooooh...! So hard! Oooh!"
Far from scared, Lulu was thrilled and started stroking the horse's body vigorously.
Sensing her pure affection like one of my familiars, the massive beast snorted once and lowered its head to her eye level.
Lulu's eyes widened in surprise as she touched its forehead.
Her fingers sank into the mane flickering like black flames, and her face lit up in ecstasy.
"Ooooh... So soft!"
Watching them, I let out a defeated laugh.
'...So my daughter's tastes run this way?'
She wasn't scared at all. Seeing Lulu giggling as they nuzzled faces like old friends, I finally gave up.
Fine. In a fantasy world like this, a horse like this probably isn't that rare. Even rifling through the saintess's memories, there were flying horses, imperial dragon steeds, all sorts of exotic breeds. This 'hell warhorse' type was probably classified as an endangered species somewhere.
'If it's not listed, I'll just register it myself. Who's gonna argue with the owner?'
Resigned, I asked Lulu,
"What do you think, Lulu?"
She bounced in place, eyes shining.
"Thwank youuu!"
At that moment, Mimi popped out of Lulu's arms like she refused to be outdone and landed squarely on the horse's broad back.
She patted its back with her stubby cotton paws, asserting dominance.
'What, establishing the pecking order?'
As I watched the ridiculous scene, Mimi declared in a solemnly grave voice.
"Youuu... my wittle bwother now! Be good!"
Her cute voice carried surprising dignity. Lulu clapped and burst into giggles.
"Kyaa! Be good! Mimi's wittle bwother!"
With the family hierarchy's top two (Lulu first, Mimi second) already decided, I couldn't object.
I let out a deep sigh, staring at them, when a very fundamental question hit me.
"...So how do you ride a horse, anyway?"
Hm. Digging through my past-life memories, there were plenty of videos of people riding horses.
But they were all normal-sized, easy to mount. This beast was so huge, I wondered if I could even climb on without a saddle.
'Don't I need a saddle or reins or something?'
As I pondered and stared, it sensed my gaze and slowly lowered its chariot-sized body, prostrating before me.
Its red vertical pupils signaled toward me.
"Oh, get on?"
In response to my question, it whinnied "Prurrrng!" with a deep snort and nodded.
Pretty quick on the uptake. I smirked and called out.
"Lulu, Mimi. Come here."
Lulu, engrossed in petting its leg, came toddling over with Mimi tucked tightly under her arm and threw herself into my embrace.
I hoisted Lulu and Mimi up together and settled them first on the horse's vast back.
It was big enough for three grown men, leaving plenty of room even with a small child and Mimi aboard.
'Whoa, look at the back on this thing.'
As I admired it, a faint oval mana barrier enveloped me, Lulu, and Mimi.
Like magnets, our bodies snapped securely to the horse's back.
At the same time, perfectly sized reins materialized in my hand.
Reading its master's mind and setting up for the ride—nice.
I queried my inner soul library for past-life knowledge from long-ago modern Earth about 'horses.'
Shhhrrrp—
Horse: Highly intelligent with excellent memory. Sensitive to the rider's emotions, strong social nature.
"Oh? So it was smart to begin with."
Good stock, upgraded with my familiar bond—its perceptiveness was now lightspeed.
Past-life knowledge said horses were sensitive creatures, but this one reacted to my every mood, providing optimal service.
Whatever, as long as it keeps its master comfy.
I secured Lulu in my arms and said,
"Lulu, Mimi. Gotta hold on tight to Daddy, okay?"
Lulu nodded vigorously and hugged my waist with Mimi. Mimi's cotton-paw hands gripped my clothes firmly and chirped back.
"Ung! Wuwu howd tight!" "Mimi toooo! Tight!"
Ready. I synced the carriage's location from my memory with the horse's and gave a simple command.
[Home.]
The instant the order dropped, it started moving. Slowly at first, then picking up speed.
"Oh... Oh? Huh? Wh-whoa?!"
My admiration turned to shock in seconds.
The speed... insane. Normal horses topped out around 50 km/h at full gallop, as far as I knew.
This one felt like it was breezing past 100 easy. The scenery tore by behind us.
Lulu and Mimi in my arms had eyes bulging at the unexpected velocity.
"H-hweee...?"
The wind pushed their cheeks back with sheer force.
Lulu let out an ambiguous shriek—terror or thrill?—clinging desperately to my waist.
Mimi, facing the gale beside her, gaped blankly at the sky like her soul had fled.
A defeated laugh escaped me. I'd never ridden a horse this fast.
'...This is basically a motorcycle.'
Even amid the shock, it accelerated further.
Purple flames erupted like lightning from its hooves.
"Ha!"
Another defeated laugh. In a blink, we were back at our carriage house in the village.
Neiiigh—!
Not even winded, it whinnied energetically and lowered its body again.
I stroked its solid neck with a smile.
"At this speed, we'll hit the Empire in two days, not a week. Perfect."
I hopped off lightly, scooping Lulu and Mimi down. The kid still buzzed with excitement, hugging my neck tight and kicking her feet.
Mimi, glued to her side, flailed her cotton arms wildly.
"Kyaa! Daddy! Daddyyy! Super fast! Zoooöm—!" "Mimi too! Mimi zoooomed—!"
Their innocent laughter shook the quiet village night.
Lulu's wind-tossed hair stuck out everywhere, but she just kept giggling.
I roughly smoothed her messy locks and hooked the carriage and our two regular horses to the new one's harness ring.
"Rest."
At the short command, they tucked away their intimidating glares and settled obediently in front of the carriage.
I readjusted the still-beaming Lulu in my arms and headed back into the comfy carriage house.
Once inside, I washed her hands clean and plopped on the sofa for a breather.
Lulu and Mimi soon snuggled up beside me, peering out the large carriage window at the dark, barely visible village.
I glanced at the wall clock I'd synthesized specially for Lulu's routine.
'9 PM...'
Deep night for the world, but lunchtime for Lulu.
What to make? I'd stuck to her favorite meats so far, but now that she was healthier, time for balance.
Growing kids need veggies and fruit. I eyed Lulu quietly as she played with Mimi. She'd gained weight, but still looked scrawny—like a seven-year-old at most. Needed to fatten her up and stretch her out more.
I stood and headed to the fridge. Lulu and Mimi peeked over the sofa back, watching curiously.
I pulled out green veggies one by one.
Added a hunk of meat for protein and set them on the counter.
But inspecting the ingredients, my brow furrowed.
"Hm... Not looking great."
Supply rations, or poor storage? In a medieval refugee village, expecting freshness was asking too much.
'Empire should be better.'
Grumbling, I focused Sloth Force at my fingertips to purify them.
Revived wilted leaves, freshened the meat to modern standards, then grabbed a knife and got cooking.
Chop, chop-chop—!
The crisp, rhythmic knife sounds filled the quiet carriage.
Lulu, chin on the sofa back, eyes widening at the novel beat from my bobbing back—totally entranced.
Unable to resist, she crawled off the sofa and toddled over with Mimi, pressing right against my calf and craning her neck to peek impossibly at the counter.
Her tiptoes straining pathetically.
"Lulu hungry?"
She perked her ears toward the invisible counter and replied,
"Ung! Daddy, noisy! Chop-chop—!"
"Yeah. That's the sound of Lulu growing big. Wait just a sec."
I kneaded minced meat with veggies until sticky.
A touch of purified fresh herbs, and even raw, it looked appetizing.
The doughy texture clinging to my palms was pro-level.
I gazed fondly at the patty I'd shaped flat and round, murmuring inwardly.
'Excellent. This could pass for a Salisbury steak.'
Recipe's divine, I'm the best. Smirking smugly, I dropped it on the hot pan.
Sizzle—!
The savory protein scent flooded the carriage instantly.
The patty's red surface browned fast, sealing in juices.
Lulu at my calf jumped at the sound, eyes saucering.
"Wooowaaah...! Daddy, sizzzle—!"
"Yup, that's the sound of it getting tasty."
Every juice-pop made her bounce.
The nutty-sweet aroma tickled her nose; she grabbed my pant leg desperately.
"Hweee...!"
Like hypnotized, her face went dreamy, then limp as jelly, dangling from my leg. Half her soul ascended from the smell alone.
"Daddy... Smell so gooood... Wuwu meeeelting...!"
Mimi slipped from her shoulder to the floor, melted too, and climbed my foot, anchoring her cotton paws to my pants with a dazed mutter.
"Mimi... meeeelting...!"
Looking down at the two liquefying on my legs, I swallowed a laugh.
"Gotta cook through. Raw stuff hurts tummies. Hang on a bit."
"Ung... Heehee, Wuwu can wait... Hweee...!"
"Mimi... Mimi can't wait...!"
They babbled, but the aroma had them conquered—drool pooling at their lips, reddish-brown eyes blankly tracking the sizzling patties.
Moments later,
I scooped up the puddles and plopped them in table chairs.
Thrilled, they kicked their dangling legs in anticipation.
I set a lidded plate before them ceremoniously.
"Here we go—opening it up."
Lifting the lid unleashed steam and rich meaty aroma; the majestic Salisbury steak revealed itself.
"Heh...!"
Grinning confidently—then lightning struck my brain.
'...Wait, this is just meat?!'
I'd sworn for balance with veggies and fruit, but somehow the plate held only juice-dripping meat slabs.
Panicking, I mentally justified.
'N-no, it's fine. I chopped veggies in. Not just meat.'
Blaming my fingers for defaulting to Lulu's fave, I hypnotized myself.
'Right, pre-treatment her teeth were weak, so only melt-in-mouth boiled meat. But now healed and sturdy—time for chewy texture, yeah? Plus... My! Daughter! Loves! Meat!'
After grand logic, it boiled down to 'daughter likes it.'
With resolve, I knifed the steak small and portioned onto their plates.
"Careful, it's hot."
Their forks struck like lightning.
I watched them devour, hands busy slicing.
Drawing on past-life memory for tender-yet-chewy texture, still needed to cut kid-sized bites for young Lulu.
Swish, swish.
Knife glided over porcelain.
Each slice released trapped juices onto the plate.
I shuttled pieces diligently to their plates.
Alternating glances at their puffed cheeks and blissful faces, I spotted Mimi and barely stifled a laugh.
'...How's she gripping that fork with no fingers?'
Round cotton stubs somehow wielded it masterfully, spearing meat.
Ignoring physics in that bizarre-cute sight, I shook my head.
"Heh, whatever. Tasty's what matters."
"Daddy! This suuuuper tasty!"
Lulu thumbs-upped, sauce smeared on her mouth.
Juice bursts were a new world to her.
Mimi, face sauced too, mumbled,
"This... this family tasteee!"
Their hype lifted my shoulders. My cooking could conquer the continent, no doubt.