No Choice But to Trust My Past Self
I froze at the message floating before my eyes.
My head was a chaos of noise; I felt like I was going to lose my mind. It wasn't a joke—the information alone was enough to kill me.
They remembered.
I couldn't grasp what it meant. The situation had crashed down on me too suddenly for understanding.
I've never seen a message like this.
Never before had a message simply appeared out of nowhere. Normally I had to investigate or explore something myself before the system would belatedly show me anything related to it.
This was nothing like usual. And the biggest difference, of course, was the content itself.
I forced myself as calm as I could manage and tried to sort my thoughts.
So… my companions remember what happened in previous loops…?
Did that even make sense?
It had never happened—not once. Not even in the earliest loops I could barely recall. If anything this special had ever occurred, there was no way I would have forgotten it.
So this had to be the first time.
Why?
Why this loop? I hadn't done a single thing special this time. I had only just regressed; there hadn't even been a chance to act.
Could it be the influence of the last loop?
No. Impossible. Even last loop I hadn't done anything out of the ordinary—just the same old routine. Nothing pointed to an answer.
Damn it.
I wanted to look on the bright side. But the message hanging in the air made that impossible.
Earlier loops…
How early? If it was only recent loops, the patterns would be similar enough that I could still handle the variables. But if it was the very first loops…
I don't even know what I did back then.
I couldn't so much as guess. I didn't even remember what kind of person past-me had been—whether I'd had a sense of justice or whether I'd been a bastard from the start. Hell, there were loops where regression itself had driven me half-mad.
And I was supposed to predict the actions of someone who was basically a stranger? Someone I didn't even know? It would be more realistic to grab a random passerby on the street and try to guess their personality. Give me a break.
…Shit. And every one of them remembers a different loop.
If they'd all shared the same loop, maybe I could reverse-engineer my own past actions from theirs. This setup made even guessing impossible. I couldn't even imagine it.
A deep despair settled over me, and I reached the only conclusion left.
…I'm completely fucked, aren't I?
Yeah. I was screwed. No need for careful deliberation.
Should I just regress…?
For a second the thought flashed through me—just die and start over. Saving the world under variables like these was impossible.
But I had to kill the idea almost at once. Of course I did.
I at least need to know why this is happening.
If there was even a chance I could intentionally recreate this phenomenon…
If that was possible…
Then I might finally be able to save this world…!
Other regressors would exist besides me. That alone would massively raise the odds of saving everything. That single fact was enough to erase any thought of jumping to the next loop.
"…Young Master. There's something I want to say."
Sera's subdued voice pulled me out of my spiral. I forced myself to focus and answered.
"Something you want to say?"
Knowing she remembered a previous loop made me careful with every word. And I found myself hanging on whatever she was about to tell me.
Please don't let it be something bad.
Right now, all I could do was trust the me of the past.
"…I was wondering how you knew I resented the Arcadia family."
"You mean the reason?"
I hesitated before opening my mouth. I had a stock answer I usually gave for this. But giving the usual answer felt dangerous—maybe worse than dangerous; it might make her suspicious in ways I couldn't predict. Anything too direct would only backfire.
"…Because I've been watching you for a long time."
That was as far as I could go. Even I wasn't satisfied with the answer, but if I sounded like I knew too much, it would look strange.
"Anyway, is that enough of an answer? I'm leaving."
Afraid she might stop me, I hurried out of the room. Right now I needed to get my head in order.
Kyle left the room. Watching him go, Sera sank to the floor alone. Her hands and feet trembled; tears she couldn't stop spilled down her cheeks.
"You've been watching me for a long time…"
The old her—the one who knew nothing—would never have understood what those words meant. But today, for Sera who had regressed, the meaning was entirely different.
"You've been watching me since the previous loop, haven't you, Young Master."
She remembered that last loop. In it, Kyle had told her a secret he told no one else.
Sera, the truth is… I'm a regressor.
It had been the moment she was about to begin her revenge on the Arcadia family. Kyle had appeared out of nowhere, said those words, and stopped her.
If you go through with the revenge like this, you'll be the only one who suffers. It's a trap from the start. So don't take revenge now. If you're going to do it, do it with me.
It had been an absurd claim. Back then, to Sera, Kyle was nothing more than the family's worthless young master. That same young master had been cast out, then returned one day claiming to be a regressor. She couldn't believe it.
And yet the warning not to take revenge right away had felt true. That day the Arcadia household had been full of uncharacteristic openings. If even that clueless wastrel of a young master had noticed she was about to strike, then a trap was almost certainly waiting.
"So I stopped…"
She had stopped—and then kidnapped him and threatened him instead, demanding to know how he knew all of it. The same answer came back every time.
I told you. I'm a regressor.
Fed up, Sera had asked him seriously: if he really was a regressor, why reveal it to her?
…Because I don't know any other way to make you my companion.
That was what he said. He had failed to bring her in as an ally every single time, so in desperation he had simply told her the truth about his regression. Still unable to believe him, Sera had kept her cold distance.
Yeah, of course you don't believe me. I get it. That's why I brought information only you would know.
And then Kyle had told her something only Sera could possibly know—something that could never have been obtained from anywhere else. It was her own past, her own private memory. Because of that, she had no choice but to accept that he was a regressor.
Haha. So you believe me now?
Believing he was a regressor was one thing; trusting Kyle himself was another. She still couldn't understand why her past self would have told him that information. If anything, her trust in him had only fallen further.
You told me right before you died. It wasn't because you trusted me.
Only on the brink of death… So it had been a last-ditch confession. At least that much made sense of how he knew.
Anyway, you believe I'm a regressor now, right? Then become my companion from here on. I plan to wipe out the Arcadia family together with you.
At the time Sera had forced herself to think rationally. If he truly was a regressor, he would be an enormous help in destroying the Arcadias. Refusing to become his companion would only make him an enemy, and she had no desire to turn an absolute powerhouse like a regressor against her. In the end there was only one choice.
"I said I would become your companion."
And she had added one more thing: if he ever regressed again, he must never reveal that he was a regressor the way he had this time. From the receiving end it was deeply unpleasant. Just showing how useful he could be would be enough to make her his companion, so it would be fine. That was what she had told him.
"So… is that why you gave me this, Young Master?"
Sera looked at the object Kyle had just handed her. She knew exactly how important it was—especially the necklace.
"Without that necklace, Young Master, you can't even use magic."
Her heart ached. It meant he had tried that hard to make her his companion—even if it left him unable to cast a single spell.
…I mustn't tell him that I've regressed.
Of course, if she said they had both regressed, Kyle would be overjoyed. After a life of solitude, he would finally have a companion walking the same path. But she still couldn't do that.
"Because then I wouldn't be able to stop the things you're going to do."
The sacrifices Kyle would make, the pain he would endure—the only way to truly prevent them was to take them on in secret, in his place. So she had to keep it hidden.
"…It's all right, Young Master."
In this loop, at least, she would make sure he achieved what he set out to do. And she would make him happy.
Having sworn that to herself, Sera wiped away the tears that had been falling and rose to her feet.
"…I should go now."
There was something she had to do. And if she didn't do it now, she never would.
Move.
With that, Sera stepped out of the room.