Only I Get to Look at You
I'd eaten so much that I could probably skip dinner on top of lunch.
So this is how girls normally eat, huh? I'd lose an arm-wrestling match against any one of them in a heartbeat.
Besides, I was raised to believe that dishes are a man's job. Housework is a male specialty, after all...
I was busy squeezing out my own comedy material when Se-ah, who'd apparently finished paying the bill, came wandering back over.
"How much was it? I'll transfer you the money."
"Huh? What are you talking about? Your noona here is treating you, I said."
"Still, freeloading off you feels a little..."
"I told you to shut it."
"Yes, ma'am."
I'd appreciate it if she'd stop glaring at me like that. I was already having trouble breathing from how full I was...
The girls, who'd each put away at least twice what I had, were smacking their lips like the meal had somehow left them wanting.
"Should we stop by a cafe? Ultra Coffee just dropped new bakery stuff, apparently."
"Are you people seriously not full...?"
"Chang-ho, you're full? Since when do men have stomachs that small?"
"I'd say you guys are the abnormal ones here, actually."
"You're supposed to eat this much for it to even count as a meal, duh."
"Let's just not talk."
While Ryu Chang-ho and Lim Woo-rim snapped at each other, the others had already drifted outside.
Hwang Jae-beom and Jung Si-hyuk had attached themselves to Se-ah's side and back, while Lee Ji-hyeon and Oh Hee-soo laughed and chattered away in their own little world.
Why am I even in this crowd...? I just want to collect my blazer and go home.
I trail along behind Se-ah. Si-hyuk and Jae-beom keep flicking wary, territorial glances my way, but sadly for them, all of my attention is on my blazer.
Hand it over. I didn't bother saying it out loud — I already knew she wouldn't give it back yet.
"Noona, what are we doing now?"
"Hmm~? What do you want to do, Hwang Jae-beom?"
"Anywhere you go, Noona, I'm happy with anything!"
"Same."
After Jae-beom, Si-hyuk tacked on his own answer.
"I can't think of anywhere in particular... Oh, right. Woo-rim said she wanted to check out Olive Youth. Let's just go there."
"Yes!"
"Mm."
Good grief, they were like a litter of puppies. Whatever Se-ah said, the answer was always yes.
Before I knew it, the seven of them had regrouped and started off down the street, and I fell in line behind them.
I'd humor them for about another hour, then get my blazer back and head home.
If she wouldn't hand it over, I'd take it back by force. Worst case, I'd make off with Se-ah's own blazer instead.
I could not afford to lose any more of my ranked-grinding time.
Sadly, it was not to be. I was held captive until five.
How is a lone assa supposed to beat an entire iljin clique...
"Phew... now THAT was a productive use of a day off!"
"Right? This is what getting out of school early is all about."
Five in the evening. The sun was leaning toward the horizon, and even the most stubborn of us had to admit it was time to head home.
...Surely they weren't about to suggest more. I was genuinely getting cold now.
Just as that worry flickered through my mind, something settled over my shoulders.
My blazer.
"Hm?"
"Thanks, Byeol-ah. For spending the whole day with me."
"...Why are you being so cringey all of a sudden?"
Also, she'd spent the entire day holding my blazer hostage, so "hanging out" was a generous way to put it...
From the very start, all I'd done was trail along behind everyone.
"I- it's just, you know... I said thanks, jerk!"
Whap!
Se-ah avoided my eyes as she smacked my shoulder with everything she had. That hurt, you little...
Rubbing the battered spot, I finally put the blazer on properly.
Maybe her conscience was starting to sting too, because she seemed ready to let me go at last.
"...Today was a one-time thing. From now on, if you say you don't want to come, I won't drag you along."
Whether it was the sunset or something else, Se-ah's ears and cheeks had turned a little red.
I gave her words a vague nod and checked the time.
A little past five. High schooler or not, dragging my feet home late wouldn't earn me any warm welcomes.
"...Get going. I'm sticking with the others a while longer."
"Right."
I let out a small breath and looked at Se-ah.
We'd swapped numbers and game IDs earlier, and on top of that we'd followed each other on OutStar — Outstagram — as well.
Not that I could imagine any reason we'd actually message each other. ...Huh. Wait. Is that just me?
I squared away my thoughts and raised a hand, extending a single index finger to press it against Se-ah's forehead.
"!!"
Se-ah's eyes flew wide open. Her already-huge eyes had gone round as marbles.
I grinned. Our old greeting — the one the two of us used to trade all the time, back in the day.
She stood there clutching her forehead with one hand as I said my piece.
"I'm off. See you tomorrow. Oh — and take your blazer out of your bag and put it on. It's about to get properly cold."
"...Mmhm. Okay then. Get... get home safe."
Listening to her trip over the farewell like her own tongue was sabotaging her, I slipped away from the group.
Now, finally, I could go home and game in peace.
Even after Han I-byeol walked away, Yoon Se-ah remained in a daze.
She answered her friends sluggishly when they called her name, and even after they parted ways and she made it home, her head was still somewhere else entirely.
"...He remembered."
Elementary school. The goodbye greeting Se-ah and I-byeol used to exchange, sent off every single time by whoever had to head home first.
The flush on her cheeks and ears hadn't faded. No — if anything, it had deepened.
"Dummy. Big, fat idiot."
She lay curled up like a shrimp on her bed, muttering to herself. A white cotton shirt and dolphin shorts — her strictly at-home attire.
Comfortable as her outfit was, Yoon Se-ah's heart was bouncing around like it had somewhere better to be.
Her childhood friend, met again after all these years. Han I-byeol.
It had only been one day, but they'd done plenty. She'd even gotten her greeting. They'd exchanged numbers, shared game IDs and OutStars too.
She'd been handed so much on just the first day that she still had no idea how to sort through it all.
"...Maybe I should text him."
The black screen of her phone. She powered it on and opened KikiTalk.
A single brand-new chat sat there in the list. No, wait — she could just send a DM instead.
Who even uses KikiTalk these days? Yoon Se-ah herself did everything over OutStar DMs, family excepted.
But then... what do I even send?
Did you get home okay?
Have you had dinner?
What are you up to?
"...Ugh, forget it! He got home fine on his own, obviously! He's eating dinner and playing games right now, I'm sure!"
She tossed her phone aside and buried her face in the pillow.
The great Yoon Se-ah, agonizing over a text message. Her friends would laugh themselves sick if they could see her.
...She'd literally just seen him, for crying out loud.
"...I miss him already."
She'd thought of nothing but I-byeol ever since they'd parted in elementary school.
All through middle school. High school had been more of the same.
And yet now that they'd actually met, not one of those soft, gentle words — How have you been? — would come out of her mouth.
One look at I-byeol's face, and she couldn't help wondering if she'd been the only one who'd spent all those years missing him.
"Oblivious bastard... gutless coward..."
Still, that one greeting before they'd parted had been pretty... nice. That much, she'd admit.
So was the blazer she'd draped over his shoulders, and the way he'd followed her around without a single word of complaint.
It must have been a lot to ask. But it was I-byeol who kept on granting her every selfish request.
He'd spent his own time on her — so the next time I-byeol came to her with a favor of his own, she'd say yes to whatever it was.
"...The scar. I wonder if it's faded."
Yoon Se-ah murmured the words half to herself and let her eyes drift gently shut.
Because whenever she closed them, the painful memories came rushing back.
...She'd have to go check next time.
Wednesday. The day after enrollment.
Shame I couldn't climb any ranks yesterday...
Those damned teammates had grabbed me by the ankles and hauled me right back down just as I was clawing my way into Gold.
Next time we matched together, I was going to eat every last creep off their lane.
For the record, my lane is support.
The walk to class was a little noisy — mornings had that particular buzz of energy about them.
Up we climbed to the fourth floor. Why on earth are the first-years on the fourth floor?
This is a serious design failing. I'll have to file a complaint one of these days.
I reached the classroom and made for my seat from yesterday. Except one thing was off.
...Why are all the desks shoved together?
I mean, yesterday they'd clearly been spaced out one by one, and now every desk was paired up in twos.
Deskmates, as they're commonly known.
And my deskmate? None other than my long-lost childhood friend, Yoon Se-ah.
"Oh look, the loser's here?"
"Yeah. Morning."
"Mm~. Good morning."
Grinning with her chin propped on her hand, Se-ah gave a little wave and rapped her knuckles on the seat beside her.
Sit down already, apparently. I was going to anyway, so settle down...
I took the seat next to her and set my bag down beside the desk.
With the distance between us shrinking, Se-ah's scent — if that was the right word for it — reached me.
A mix of fresh-laundry smell and something warmer, the scent that simply comes off a person's own skin.
Just the smell of Yoon Se-ah. She didn't seem to wear perfume — there was nothing artificial about it at all.
Sliide—
Yoon Se-ah flopped down over her desk and peered up at my face. Would you kindly not stare? It's a lot of pressure.
I swallowed the complaint, since saying it out loud would only earn me a lecture and another smack. My shoulders are precious cargo. They took two hits yesterday alone.
How does a girl's slap hurt that much, anyway? What are these people being fed?
Stared at or not, I just kept my eyes on my phone.
For the record, our school has a free-electronics policy. In other words, nobody hands in their phones.
We had to during middle school, so getting MORE freedom in high school honestly threw me off at first.
But hey... a good thing's a good thing. From the teachers' and parents' standpoint it must be an absolute nightmare, but what can you do.
Those are the school guidelines, after all. Our principal is the greatest.
"You're wearing your glasses today."
"Yep. The blackboard's far away."
"That's my fault, isn't it? Since I told you to sit next to me."
"Obviously it's your fault."
"Hmm~."
No clue why that made her so pleased with herself. But one thing was becoming clear: her tastes ran genuinely strange.
"I want to lock you up."
"That's bullying, Se-ah."
"But I'd be the one doing it. You saying you wouldn't like it?"
"You call that a question?"
I shot her an incredulous look, and Se-ah's smile widened.
"Oh? Finally looking at me?"
"You are not well. You've somehow gotten even pushier since yesterday?"
"Yep. You're my loser, after all."
"That statement is extremely dangerous."
"It's not like I'm paying you, though."
"You're unbelievable. Seriously."
Se-ah snickered, straightened back up, and stretched her arms over her head.
"Hey. I-byeol."
"Hm?"
"Bring your face here."
"So you can hit me?"
"You little — when did I ever hit you?"
When, she asks. You landed two shots on me yesterday alone, Your Honor.
No bruises, thankfully. It still hurt when they connected, okay...
For no good reason, I chickened out and leaned my face toward her.
Se-ah's cheeks flushed faintly pink, and then—
"...Hold still."
She swept my bangs upward with her hand.
My bare forehead emerged into the light, and the eyes that had been hiding between the strands gazed out at the world for the first time.
My hair was a bit of a mess on a normal day, sure. It's not that I don't wash it. For reasons science cannot explain, the instant it air-dries, it ends up looking like some poor sparrow's newly built nest.
"...Whoa. Incredible."
"OMG."
"...Can somebody please take this boy to a barbershop?"
The rest of the class had been watching us out of pure boredom, and now questions were springing up from every corner.
Three boys in particular had gone completely stone-faced.
What now.
"...You're going to a barbershop today. Ah — no. Don't go. Ever. ...Only I get to look at—"
I never caught the last of it. So was she telling me to go, or not to go?
