No Matter What, This Is Too Much
After meeting Chae-yeon, the distance between us had grown in a way that was impossible to compare with before. We texted when we felt like it, shared stories about our days, and teased each other playfully.
As expected, we were growing closer in a different way than we had in elementary school, but the fact that we were getting closer at all was what mattered. Even though I wanted to savor that new distance with her, the final exams tightening around my neck like a noose had arrived, forcing me to focus solely on studying.
Since it was a final exam that covered every subject, I was already dying. But there was one thing making it even worse.
The major courses.
It wasn’t that the content was hard. It was the professor teaching them who was killing me.
“What the hell kind of brain do you need to come up with a thirty-minute, fifty-five-question exam?!”
The professor had claimed he designed the test to gauge exactly how much we knew. Did he think we were all Golden Bell champions or something? Otherwise, how could anyone justify a test like this?
Even though it was open-book, this was way too extreme. I’d heard that college open-book exams were supposed to be so difficult you still couldn’t solve them with the book open. I never imagined I’d experience it firsthand.
I refused to give up. I was working frantically to create reference materials I could actually use.
> The exam notice has been updated.
A wave of dread washed over me the moment the school app alert buzzed in. No way. No matter how shameless that professor was, there was no chance he would change the notice the day before the—
Only cell phones are permitted inside the exam room. Laptops, tablets, and all other electronic devices are strictly prohibited.
“You fucking Pangpang bastard!”
I tried my best to hold back the curses because the professor had some connection to my mom. But his outrageous behavior made it impossible.
He had told us the exam would be taken through the school app on-site, like an online test. Which meant I had to solve the questions on my phone while also viewing all my open-book materials on the same tiny screen.
“What the hell am I supposed to do with this tiny phone?! Would it have killed you to give us a heads-up earlier?!”
Now I had to reorganize all my reference materials to be phone-friendly, which left me zero time to prepare for my other subjects. The notice was so ridiculous I emailed the professor. His reply came instantly.
Prepare as stated in the notice.
Mom had described him as a stubborn professor who was close to retirement and did whatever he wanted. His skills were apparently excellent, though, which earned him decent respect among the faculty. Still—no matter what, this was completely unacceptable!
I swore I would unload every ounce of this frustration in the course evaluation. If I didn’t, my insides would twist themselves into knots and I’d die.
Feeling suffocated, I sent Chae-yeon a text.
Ah, so this was what it felt like to have someone who actually understood. If I had told the writers’ group, they would have just laughed and said it wasn’t their problem.
Thanks to Chae-yeon, the dark road ahead of my exam preparations felt a little brighter. Of course, talking wouldn’t magically change anything, but having someone to share it with was what mattered.
There was one thing I could actually brag about since starting college: my TOEIC score. Even as a freshman, I had 815 points. How could I possibly keep that quiet? I had to show it off.
After finishing my conversation with Chae-yeon, the overwhelming pile of open-book materials loomed in front of me again. Even if I didn’t want to, what choice did I have? When the professor says jump, you jump.
The exam was… an absolute disaster.
Even though I had reformatted all my materials to be phone-friendly, switching back and forth between the app and my notes had its limits.
“Heh, when the results come out Mom’s going to beat my ass black and blue. I’m so screwed.”
> Yu-hwa: Did the exam go well?
Yu-hwa was my friend’s younger sister. We were in the same department and year. She was my only friend on campus; without her, I would have been completely alone.
I had tried complaining to Mom to stop Pangpang’s madness, but she told me there was nothing she could do and that I just had to endure it. Mom, don’t you think your son’s burden is a little too heavy?
It felt like the full-ride scholarship for next semester had taken a big step away. Still, maybe I could salvage it with my other grades?
When I got home, Chae-yeon’s message was waiting for me.
Out of fifty-five questions, I couldn’t answer a single short-answer one except for the multiple choice. If that wasn’t a disaster, what was? It was the first time in my life I had ever taken a test like that, so there was nothing I could do.
Jumping straight into studying for the next one felt too empty. After suffering through an exam that brutal, I deserved some kind of reward.
I entered the writers’ group chat on Discord and looked for someone to play with.
Wasn’t he supposed to be in exam period too? It was the universal rule that everything except studying became infinitely more fun during exam season.
The other two didn’t answer, so we queued as a trio. I told myself I would only play two games max. No more. Absolutely not.
Before I knew it, it was already evening. I heard Dad entering the passcode on the door lock and quickly closed the game. In other words, I was screwed. Where had my entire afternoon gone?
“Dad, you’re home?”
“Did you eat?”
“Not yet.”
“Not planning to?”
“I’m not hungry, so I don’t feel like it.”
My family always said we should eat at least two meals a day no matter what, but if I wasn’t hungry, the desire to eat never appeared. Ever since the surgery, appetite was basically a nonexistent desire for me, so skipping meals was common.
I closed the game and started preparing for tomorrow’s exam. At least the next one was a liberal arts course. Since it was basically a memorization subject, starting now would still let me salvage a decent score.
After spending ten minutes looking at my organized files, I leaned back in my chair and started fiddling with my phone.
“Ugh, I don’t want to do this. Since it’s just filling in blanks anyway, maybe I can just do it tomorrow morning.”
It had only been ten minutes since I started studying, but I opened the web novel app Novelbrary to refresh my mind. As always, it greeted me with tons of novels. Nothing beats reading for clearing your head.
> Chae-yeon: What are you doing?
Come to think of it, I don’t think I ever told Chae-yeon that I write web novels. Most people, when they hear you write web novels, ask where you publish and what kind of story it is.
Since my novel still doesn’t have anything worth showing off, I usually avoid bringing it up because the questions feel burdensome. Chae-yeon would probably ask the same things, but it could become a new conversation topic, so I decided to mention it lightly.
I was just chatting with a friend, yet unlike usual, the corners of my mouth refused to come down. It wasn’t that messing around during exam period was fun. It was fun because I was talking with Chae-yeon.
Once exams are over and break starts, we’ll probably get even closer than we are now, right?