You Liked It Too, Didn't You?
Ever since I started paying attention to Chae-yeon, the thought of confessing to her crossed my mind every single day without fail.
Of course I wanted to confess. Who in the world wouldn't want to confess to the person they like?
But I kept hesitating. It felt like the moment I said the words, the distance between Chae-yeon and me would grow farther apart.
At the same time, just staying still like this made her occupy my thoughts way too much.
Even when we talked or hung out like usual, the fact that I liked her weighed on me so heavily that I couldn't act normal.
If this kept up, Chae-yeon would definitely notice something was off.
[To-sin, To-sin!!]
“Huh?”
[Why'd you suddenly go quiet?]
I had been on a call with the other writers when thoughts of Chae-yeon made me zone out completely.
They're definitely going to tease me like crazy again.
[Looks like you were thinking about her again.]
“Huh? Yeah… that's right.”
[Wow, Jung-woo's not even trying to hide it anymore. Before, you'd always deny it when we brought it up.]
[If you're thinking about her this much every day, just confess already?]
“How am I supposed to confess?”
[You just confess. What if she rejects you? Then it's over, right?]
“But what if things get awkward between us after that?”
[Aigoo… This is so frustrating. So frustrating!!]
I thought back to my middle school days when I had dated someone.
Even back then, the other person had been a long-time friend, just like now. It was someone Chae-yeon would probably remember too, since we'd known each other since elementary school.
We'd been in the same class in first year and again in second year.
Middle-school me had thought that nothing would change if I kept waiting, so I confessed to her.
And we started dating. We had a good run until I messed things up and we broke up, but it was still a pretty decent first relationship.
Looking back now, I have no idea where that confidence came from.
I guess young me was pretty bold.
It's the same now.
Nothing's going to change if I just stay still like this. If anything, if this drags on, I'll only end up caring about Chae-yeon even more, and things between us might actually grow distant.
I really need to do something.
[Jung-woo, at this rate it doesn't look like you'll be able to write anything.]
“Yeah, I'm completely blocked. Maybe it's because I have too much on my mind, but I keep hitting a wall.”
[Good thing you have the save file, but this can't keep going on like this.]
No matter how tough things got, I'd always managed to write steadily.
I'd never once gotten writer's block before, but this was the first time.
My head was so full of thoughts about Chae-yeon that I could only fiddle with my phone, occasionally texting her.
Even I could tell how frustrating I was being right now.
“Should I just play some games? I need to clear my head.”
[Sure, come on in. Su-ho's joining too?]
[Just one round. I'll play one game and then get back to writing.]
And just like that, I started playing with Su-ho and Yong-ju.
I thought gaming would help organize my thoughts, but…
That was nothing but my own naive delusion.
[To-sin, you in?]
“Huh? Oh?!”
[Aigoo, you just got wrecked.]
I couldn't even see an enemy coming right at me.
[Dude, your aim!!]
“That last one was pretty bad. Sorry.”
I couldn't even catch an enemy that had perfectly flanked us.
It was an absolutely hopeless situation.
Even while playing, thoughts of Chae-yeon kept popping up, so I couldn't focus at all.
“Sorry, I'm not concentrating at all. I'm gonna step away for a bit.”
[To-sin's just completely broken. Is this what they call lovesickness or whatever?]
[If it's too hard, take a break. Don't push yourself.]
I turned off the computer and collapsed onto my bed.
What would it feel like if I dated Chae-yeon?
From conversations to hobbies, everything matched perfectly. We'd never have any conflicts. It would be the kind of relationship I'd always dreamed of.
The day Chae-yeon came over to my house.
I'd done something ridiculous because I wanted her to notice my feelings even a little.
I could've just stood beside her and shown her how to hold the knife properly, but instead…
I ended up hugging her after I flicked her forehead too hard and she teared up.
Honestly, I think that was way too much. I should've just wiped her tears and patted her head.
I can only hope she didn't think it was weird.
After that, we've been texting like usual.
I'm relieved about that, but there's one thing that's been bothering me…
We haven't called each other in a while.
Whenever I suggest a call, she doesn't pick up and says she's busy with something, avoiding it.
It's not like we have to call, but the sudden change still makes me a little anxious.
Feeling frustrated, I dialed Su-ho.
Out of everyone in our writer group, he'd had the most dating experience, so maybe he'd have some useful advice.
[Hello?]
“Su-ho.”
[Whoa, To-sin actually called me. What's going on?]
“Got a minute to talk?”
[Of course. What's up?]
“I just wanted to chat about something.”
[It's about your childhood friend, right?]
“Yeah, that's right.”
Normally Su-ho was full of mischief, but when he switched into counseling mode, he became incredibly serious and a great listener.
It was thanks to that side of him that we'd stayed close all this time.
If he'd only been the playful type… well, we might've stayed acquaintances instead of becoming this close.
[It's obvious you want to confess but can't make up your mind.]
“You're seriously quick on the uptake.”
[I started working young, so my social awareness is pretty sharp.]
“Do you think I should just confess? Or should I wait a little longer?”
[Okay, before I say anything, there's something you need to understand first.]
“What is it?”
[Everything I say is just advice. In the end, you should choose whatever feels right to you.]
“Got it.”
Could I really get a proper answer from Su-ho?
What if I still couldn't decide even after talking to him?
[To-sin, you want to date her, right?]
“If it's a yes or no question, then yes, I do.”
[Does it seem like she's interested in you too?]
“She's definitely interested. But I don't know if it's the same kind of romantic interest.”
[Tell me about the things you've done around her.]
“I gave her something like a back hug while teaching her how to hold a knife and cut onions.”
[And?]
“We played a game of forehead flicks and when she lost, I flicked her pretty hard, so I hugged her after.”
[How did she react when you did those things?]
“She didn't really push me away. She just stayed quiet.”
I heard a small chuckle from Su-ho over the phone.
What was so funny?
[She likes you too.]
“Really?”
[If she didn't, there's no way she would've stayed still while you did all that.]
“I hope you're right.”
[It's not that I hope so, it is so. Why are you so dense, you rabbit bastard!!]
“Sorry…”
[You liked being with her, right? Then she probably liked being with you too.]
As frustrated as Su-ho sounded with me, I was just as frustrated with myself.
But what could I do? Right now, I had no choice but to be careful.
[Aigoo, this is so frustrating!! Hey, hold on a second.]
-Vrrrr!!
The phone vibrated, so I pulled it away from my ear and checked the screen.
It was a message from Su-ho.
What the… A free pass to Ramji World? Why was he suddenly sending me this?
[There, you got the gift I sent?]
“Th-this is a gift?”
[Go hold her hand, confess, do something. I'm dying of frustration just watching from the sidelines!!]
“Dude, this is expensive.”
[If it solves my frustration, it's a bargain. Go and come back.]
“But still…”
[If you say no one more time, I'm coming over to your house and giving you a soccer kick.]
Before I knew it, I'd accepted a gift that definitely wasn't cheap.
I tried to say something more, but he hung up immediately.
What was I supposed to do when he suddenly gave me something like this?
Feeling like I'd been pushed off a cliff, I had no choice but to text Chae-yeon.
When we were kids, Chae-yeon had loved amusement parks. Looks like she still does.
And I like them too.
Thanks to Su-ho, I could finally fulfill that lingering wish I hadn't been able to do since my surgery because of my poor health.
I wasn't sure if this was the right choice.
Still, since Su-ho went this far to help me, I should at least do something.
Confessing…
I wonder if I'll be able to do it properly.