What If?
Chapter 26. What If?
“Have you ever imagined dating me?”
Chae-yeon’s question came out of nowhere.
I stared at her, unsure of her intent. She looked just as unsettled by the moment, shifting her weight restlessly.
What was she really asking? What was going through her head?
My mind flooded with questions.
I had imagined it once. But the picture never came into focus.
If I’d tried to picture it but couldn’t form a clear image… then maybe I hadn’t really imagined it at all.
There were two ways I could answer. Say yes or no, or try to understand what she meant.
I chose the second option.
“What if there was?”
I was trying to figure out her intent.
“So you have imagined it.”
“That’s not an answer. I’m asking what you’d say if I told you I had.”
“Oh, is that it? Then I… I…”
A brief silence fell.
Chae-yeon stepped closer, as if she needed to be nearer to give her answer. She lightly tapped my shoulder.
“I just figured guys probably imagine stuff like that when they’re with a girl, so I asked.”
“Then why didn’t you just say that from the start? You scared me.”
“Be honest. You got flustered, didn’t you?”
“Flustered? I was just surprised, that’s all.”
“Then why’d your face turn red?”
“Yours did too.”
“That’s because you said something weird!”
“Weird?”
“You said I got pretty… That’s why!!”
She smacked my side and marched ahead. If she was going to leave, she could’ve just left—why hit me on the way out?
For a second, I thought I’d lost my mind.
No, I had lost it. There was no other explanation for saying something like that to Jung-woo.
It was all his fault.
He’d said I looked pretty and thrown the whole atmosphere off, and then everything just spiraled from there.
If I traced it back, the strange mood had started when Jung-woo’s friends greeted me.
They’d suddenly called me “Hyeong-su-nim.” How was anyone supposed to stay calm after that?
I sighed and checked my face in my phone’s camera.
Of course I looked prettier than I had in elementary school. Even I could admit that.
What bothered me was whether it was enough for Jung-woo to notice and say something.
Since starting college, I’d learned how to take care of my appearance and tried my best to change. A few classmates—girls—had complimented me on it.
Jung-woo was the first guy who’d ever said anything. I hadn’t had any male friends before running into him again.
“Mom, I’m home.”
“You’re back early. Did you just hang out?”
“I met someone for a bit and talked.”
“What’s that book you’re holding?”
“Jung-woo and I picked out books we thought the other would like.”
“Really? You two get along well. I like that.”
“Mom, why are you smiling like that?”
“No reason~”
The way she dragged out her words felt suspicious. What was she thinking?
After washing up, I flopped onto my bed.
If I asked myself the same question I’d asked Jung-woo…
No. I’d never imagined it.
Sure, the kid who used to be smaller than me was now much taller, more mature, broad-shouldered in a way that didn’t match his slim frame. Sometimes I thought he looked cool, but!!
Never. Not once. Not ever had I imagined dating Jung-woo.
Why had he asked me “What if there was?”
Don’t tell me he actually had imagined it—dating me?
“Whatever. I only asked because I was annoyed, and he was probably just testing me. That’s easier to believe.”
I sighed again and opened the book Jung-woo had given me. His handwriting had always been neat—prettier than most girls’. It still was. People would probably think a girl had written it.
I’d picked something I thought he’d actually enjoy, but his note felt half-hearted. Still, he’d said he meant it, so I couldn’t really complain.
Closer than before.
The words on the page felt heavier than they should.
If Jung-woo really had imagined dating me, what kind of “closer” was he talking about?
“Pfft!”
The melting cat sticker made me laugh. His profile picture was a cat too. How much did he like them to make everything cat-themed?
Honestly, I wished he’d eat properly every meal. That was why I nagged him about food, but lately I’d started wondering if eating had become stressful for him after the surgery.
I’d still encourage him, but I wouldn’t push like before.
Maybe I really should make a sticker chart. People work harder when there’s a reward.
Wait.
Was I acting like Jung-woo’s mom?
Seeing him earlier must’ve shaken me more than I thought.
Our chat cut off mid-conversation. About five minutes later—
Jung-woo sent a photo of a round, fluffy gray cat.
Right, he’d mentioned his friend’s sister was in the same major. They took classes together sometimes.
Some people only just made their first guy friend in college, but he’d already had girl friends before we met again?
Even if it was just to show off the cat, sending photos meant they were pretty close, didn’t it? Close enough to message her while chatting with me?
I tossed my phone aside and rolled over. My eyes met the Ryan plush Jung-woo had given me.
I immediately punched it in the face. Why was it staring at me like that? So annoying.
“Chae-yeon, I heard a noise from your room. What happened?”
“Nothing.”
“Doesn’t sound like nothing. Your face says otherwise.”
“It really is nothing!!”
“Is it Jung-woo? Did he do something wrong again?”
Mom’s direct question left me speechless.
“Mom, isn’t it rude to message someone else while you’re already talking to a person?”
“Jung-woo messaged someone else while talking to you?”
“No. We were definitely chatting, but then he didn’t reply for a few minutes.”
“And then?”
“After a while he sent a cat picture. Said his friend’s sister sent it to him.”
“And that annoyed you?”
“It’s not that I was annoyed…”
Mom chuckled softly and came into my room. She sat beside me and gently patted my head.
“You’re still getting to know each other again. These things happen.”
“He never used to be like this.”
“It’s been a long time. Jung-woo’s changed too.”
“Then he should’ve changed for the better. Why’d he get worse?”
“There are good changes too, aren’t there?”
Of course there were.
He looked out for the person next to him now. He nodded along when we talked face-to-face. Those were things the old Jung-woo never did.
“Once you get closer, he probably won’t show the bad sides anymore.”
“Yeah…”
“Get some rest. I’ll go start dinner.”
I buried my face in the pillow.
Everything that happened today, everything I was feeling—none of it made sense.
This day might just go down as the longest, most embarrassing moment of my entire life.