A Bit Unfamiliar
It was when I turned twenty-two that I met Jung-woo again. I had finished my third attempt at the college entrance exam, which I’d started at twenty, then taken a year off. The meeting was meant to help him as he faced his own third attempt.
Our first encounter since elementary school.
To be honest, I was nervous. So much time had passed, and Jung-woo had lived through years that defied description. I expected him to be completely different.
And on the day I saw him again, he had changed exactly as I’d feared—almost to the point I thought he was someone else entirely.
His body was painfully thin, as if he might collapse at any moment. His eyes had no focus, and his face was drained of all color.
It was the face of a man who had lost everything the world had to offer.
At the time I told myself it was only natural. He had just struggled through his retake in poor health, with another exam right in front of him.
A year later, while I was in my second year of university, Mom approached me with a single suggestion.
“Chae-yeon. I’m meeting Jung-woo’s aunt today. Want to come along?”
“Jung-woo’s aunt?”
It wasn’t a very tempting offer. I wasn’t uncomfortable around her, but when the adults talked I usually just sat there nodding along until it was over.
“Jung-woo’s coming too. Let’s go together.”
Those few words instantly rekindled my interest. I answered right away and followed her to the buckwheat noodle restaurant where we’d agreed to meet.
The moment the door opened, I met eyes with Jung-woo’s aunt—and then with Jung-woo himself.
Since he had finally entered university after finishing his third attempt, I assumed he would carry a different air about him.
But…
He was exactly the same. It wasn’t the total “lost everything” look from before, yet his eyes still held no spark of life.
Was his body still troubling him? Or had something else gone wrong?
The reunion after a full year carried the same awkward tension as the meeting the year before.
In that heavy atmosphere Jung-woo simply stared at me without end.
His gaze felt strangely burdensome, so I looked away, but he didn’t seem to care at all.
“Chae-yeon, how did it feel seeing Jung-woo after so long?”
“It was nice. But I felt a little disappointed.”
“What disappointed you?”
“We barely talked. It was just too awkward.”
“In a way it’s like making a new friend. Keep in touch and you’ll grow close again.”
Maybe Mom’s words on the way home had been right, because the more Jung-woo continued our text conversations, the closer I felt we were becoming.
Still, I couldn’t be completely satisfied. I knew that talking face-to-face would feel exactly the same.
Now that we had met again, I wanted us to return to the easy, reservation-free friendship we once had.
One day while we were texting, a message from Jung-woo popped up asking if I wanted to meet.
When I saw it, I was genuinely surprised.
Why was he suddenly suggesting we meet? It made me happy, but I never expected him to be the one to ask first.
Right after that message came a thumbs-up emoji.
I wasn’t sure why, but it didn’t feel like something Jung-woo would send. I had never once seen him use emojis in our chats.
At least I felt reassured that the intention was there.
If his friend had sent it without him actually caring… I might have been a little hurt.
“Mom, how does this outfit look?”
“It’s fine. Where are you off to? You’re suddenly asking me for fashion advice?”
“I’m meeting Jung-woo. He suggested it first.”
“Really? You two really are getting close again. Have a good time.”
“I will!”
Since it was our first real plan, I didn’t want to keep him waiting and left the house early.
While I stood there looking around, I spotted a guy in the distance.
It was unmistakably Jung-woo.
“Jung-woo.”
I had seen him after he started university life, but the Jung-woo from that time felt different.
White shirt, skinny jeans. The neatness of the outfit must have been why.
The childhood image of Jung-woo that I had only ever seen as a friend was completely erased, replaced by the new image of Jung-woo as a man.
He was a little…
Handsome. Enough that I found myself glancing at him again.
That said, weren’t his legs far too thin? It looked like they would snap if I kicked them.
It turned out to be a genuinely fun time. Especially the part where Jung-woo got scared during the horror movie. That was unforgettable.
Every time a new scene played he would grab my shoulder in fright, muttering that he wanted to go home so only I could hear.
It was a side of him I had never seen before, and it felt incredibly fresh.
After that meeting we grew even closer. Through texts and phone calls, the Jung-woo I remembered slowly began to appear.
I could let my guard down a little, yet at the same time he still felt somewhat unfamiliar.
The lack of life in Jung-woo’s eyes.
Those eyes made the present Jung-woo seem like an entirely different person.
“Chae-yeon, it’s me—his aunt.”
“Oh, hello.”
“I’m sorry, but could I ask you for one favor?”
“Of course!”
“Today was supposed to be the day I took Jung-woo to the hospital, but something urgent came up and I can’t go with him.”
“You’re asking me to go to the hospital with him instead?”
“Yes. Would that be all right?”
“Absolutely. I didn’t have anything to do at home anyway.”
“Thank you so much.”
When I met Jung-woo at the hospital he let out one deep sigh after another.
I wondered if he was unhappy I had come, but it turned out he was just annoyed about his aunt’s sudden request.
The university hospital I was visiting for the first time was enormous.
So this was where Jung-woo had undergone surgery and stayed as a patient.
While waiting for his appointment, he told me about the operation in a flat voice.
Fear seeped through his indifferent expression—a face he had never shown me before.
I finally understood how much he had suffered and wanted to understand even more.
But I knew he wouldn’t want that from someone who knew nothing about it. Sympathy from an outsider could sometimes become another wound.
His aunt had been terribly worried, but fortunately the appointment ended without any major problems.
As we were leaving the hospital, one patient in particular caught my eye.
With two blood bags attached and a large IV drip running, the sight overlapped with Jung-woo’s past.
Had he gone through times like that? Or had his been even harder?
Curious, I pointed the patient out.
At that moment Jung-woo…
collapsed right in front of me.
I couldn’t process the situation at all.
What I was supposed to do, why this was happening—none of it made sense.
“A-auntie!! W-what do I do?!”
“Chae-yeon, what’s wrong? What happened?”
“J-Jung-woo collapsed! He just suddenly collapsed… what should I do?”
“I’m at school right now but I’ll be there soon. It’s all right, Chae-yeon. Just calm down.”
Auntie accepted the situation naturally, as if it had happened many times before.
The fact that this was a frequent occurrence meant…
how much hardship had Jung-woo endured all alone?
After auntie arrived and time passed, Jung-woo finally opened his eyes.
He was trembling with overwhelming anxiety, so I couldn’t help calling his name loudly.
This had happened because of me.
If I hadn’t pointed at that patient, Jung-woo wouldn’t have collapsed.
The guilt kept piling up. I knew it was my fault and tried to hold back, but the tears eventually spilled over.
It felt pathetic. Jung-woo was the one who had suffered, yet here I was crying.
All the while knowing it was entirely my fault.
Then a familiar hand gently tugged my cheek.
“What are you doing?”
“Stop sulking and smile a little.”
“Let go.”
“I’ll let go once you say you’ll smile.”
“Three. Two. One.”
“There. See? I’m still a patient, you know. Ow! The patient is getting hit here.”
“I’m the only one taking this seriously.”
“Look. Doesn’t it look better when you smile?”
When we were little, I had always been the one to tease or calm down people who were crying.
Jung-woo back then cried so easily that his nickname was Crybaby.
Seeing that same Jung-woo now trying to calm me and lighten the mood made laughter slip out before I could stop it.
He was different from the Jung-woo I remembered. Yet for the first time, that difference brought me relief instead of unease.
After that day I began paying close attention to Jung-woo’s daily habits.
Even though I knew I didn’t have to go this far, after watching him collapse in front of me I couldn’t treat it lightly.
Whenever I spoke with his aunt she always seemed to carry far too many worries about him.
I had wondered whether it was necessary to worry that much about a grown adult, but once I experienced it myself the question answered itself.
The kid really doesn’t listen. It isn’t ordinary stubbornness—it’s the kind that genuinely drives a person insane.
There were times it felt like my stomach would turn inside out.
I have nothing but respect for his aunt, who has been raising this boy for twenty-three years.
The day Jung-woo and I went bowling was easily one of the most enjoyable days I could remember.
It was also the day I felt like a complete fool for thinking—even for a second—that Jung-woo looked cool.
He teased me endlessly with that bowling game.
Of course I had teased him first, certain I would win, but winning with three consecutive strikes through pure beginner’s luck and then rubbing it in was completely over the line.
No matter how much people talk about beginner’s luck, that was straight-up cheating. Cheating!
When he politely asked me to say “please,” my fists clenched with real strength.
Even so, I refused to accept a loss that came from luck. I gritted my teeth and asked politely exactly as he had instructed.
Changed? Not even close. He hadn’t changed one bit from when we were children.
His nonstop teasing was annoying, yet that side of him let me laugh with genuine ease.
Because in those moments, life finally returned to Jung-woo’s eyes.
Eating together and then browsing clothes at the store was fun too.
We picked out outfits for each other and tried them on.
In the middle of it I was shocked to see that women’s pants fit him perfectly. Just how narrow did your waist have to be for women’s pants to fit?
My own waist isn’t particularly slim and my legs are thicker, so I never get that kind of fit.
Whenever I looked at Jung-woo’s legs and waist I felt honestly jealous. Why does a guy have a thinner waist and legs than most girls?
Oh, and there was one more moment when I saw a new side of him.
Jung-woo stepping out of the fitting room in the clothes I had chosen.
My heart gave a heavy thump at the sight.
It wasn’t something I could simply glance at and move on from.
Even though he was slim, his shoulders filled the shirt perfectly. Those thin legs made them look remarkably long.
A man is still a man, after all. Once he becomes an adult he looks completely different from before.
Right before we bought each other’s clothes and left the store, one bracelet in particular caught my eye.
It was a black leather bracelet designed to look as if three straps had been woven into one.
I liked it so much I wanted to buy it, but I had already spent heavily that day and couldn’t decide.
That was when Jung-woo took the bracelet from my hand, paid for it, and handed it back to me.
And then he said simply,
If you say something like that so indifferently, do you think it looks cool?
Yes. It did look cool.
It really was pretty cool. Maybe because it was a side of him I had never seen before.
I want to grow a little closer to Jung-woo. I want to know more about him.
What happened to him during all the time I didn’t know about, and how he became the person he is today.
Everything.