It's Different From Back Then
I kept calling her name, but Chae-yeon’s footsteps never slowed.
In the atmosphere that had flipped in an instant, I tried to keep up with her pace, but no matter what I did, the distance between us refused to close.
Was Chae-yeon always this fast?
Come to think of it, the reason our walking speeds had always matched until now was because she had been adjusting to me the whole time.
“Chae-yeon, wait up.”
“What.”
“So, what I said earlier…”
“Must be nice. Some of us have to live with thighs and waists thicker than most guys.”
Everyone I’d spent time talking with until now had been guys.
Since we were the same gender, there had never been any real restrictions on what I could say.
But Chae-yeon was a girl. No matter how much she had acted like one of the boys back in elementary school, she was now a fully grown woman.
It was the biggest mistake of my life. A mistake I would never make again.
“Chae-yeon, I’ll buy you dinner. Anything you want to eat?”
“I don’t want to eat. Why would I eat if it just makes my legs and waist thicker?”
“Still, skipping meals isn’t good for you.”
“That’s rich coming from you.”
When we were younger, I had teased her about her appearance in a similar way.
But back then, unlike now, it hadn’t been a slip of the tongue. It had been intentional from the start.
Even when I teased her, little Chae-yeon had taken it in stride, firing back with her own jabs so we could tease each other.
I felt pathetic for thinking, even for a moment, that things were still the same.
I already knew it was different now.
“Chae-yeon, car!”
A car ignoring the red light came speeding toward us. I grabbed her hand and yanked her back.
“What kind of person does that? The light was clearly green.”
“I’m going home.”
“From now on, I’ll think before I speak. I wasn’t thinking at all.”
A single careless word that meant nothing to me could become a deep wound for someone else.
I had spoken without thinking. It was a situation where the right answer would have come if I had just paused for a second.
“This is the first and last time. If you say something like that again, I won’t talk to you anymore.”
“Yeah, I understand. I’m really sorry.”
“I’m going to order the most expensive thing. And don’t you dare say you won’t buy it because it’s too pricey.”
“Order whatever you want.”
We continued walking together in silence, but the air around us felt lighter than before.
The restaurant Chae-yeon led me to was a conveyor-belt sushi place.
And not the all-you-can-eat kind, either. It was the fancy one where each plate had a different price.
“I’m only eating the expensive stuff here.”
“Sure, eat whatever you want.”
“You’d better be ready to empty your wallet today. I’m not going easy on you.”
Since I basically stayed cooped up at home, more than ninety percent of the allowance I received piled up in my bank account.
Even if Chae-yeon only picked the most expensive dishes, my wallet could handle it just fine.
“Hmm, the black plates are the most expensive. I’ll only eat those.”
“Uh… those really are the priciest ones, huh?”
“Why? Don’t want to pay?”
“No, no. Eat as much as you like.”
Just like she’d said, Chae-yeon quickly started grabbing only the black plates. I let out a small sigh.
At this rate, my wallet really was going to get cleaned out today.
Still, since this was my fault and I had offered to pay, it would be wrong to act reluctant.
“You should eat too. I told you to buy me food, not that you couldn’t eat.”
“Oh, right. I’ll eat.”
“Can you pass me one of those egg sushi?”
“Here.”
“Did you know you can tell if a sushi place is good just by how their egg sushi tastes?”
“I know. I really like sushi too.”
“It looks easy to make, but it’s actually the hardest sushi to make deliciously.”
I completely agreed.
Not every sushi restaurant was like that, but if the egg sushi was bad, the rest of the sushi usually wasn’t very good either.
That was why I had developed the habit of trying the egg sushi first whenever I visited a new place.
“Jung-woo, do you know how to cook?”
“I’ve lived alone since I was young, so I can cook a bit. I’m not great at it, though.”
“What can you make?”
“Western stuff like pasta and steak. Korean… doenjang jjigae, budae jjigae, kimchi jjigae. Japanese… I don’t really have any.”
“Pasta?! I love pasta. But that sounds like you’re actually pretty good.”
“Not really. What about you? Can you make anything?”
“Yeah, I can. Ra—”
“If you’re about to say ramen, let’s just eat our sushi in silence.”
“Hey!! Ramen is still food!”
Technically, ramen is food. But who would count knowing how to make instant ramen as actual cooking?
If she meant making noodles from scratch and brewing a proper broth, maybe. But the way Chae-yeon said it, I knew she meant the regular instant kind we all ate.
“Make me pasta sometime. I want to try yours.”
“Sure. I’ll make it for you when I get the chance.”
“You’re home alone a lot, right? Don’t you get bored?”
“I actually like being at home, so I don’t get bored. I prefer it that way.”
“Then why did you ask to meet up with me today?”
“I figured I should go out sometimes. Mom keeps telling me to get some fresh air.”
“She’s right. You really should go out more. How many times have you left the house during break?”
“Once with a friend. This is the second time, since I came out to see you.”
What? Why is she looking at me like that? Some people just don’t like going outside, you know.
“Half the break is already over and you’ve only been out twice?”
“That’s actually a lot for me.”
“This won’t do. Since I’ll be in Gwangju for the rest of the break, I’ll make sure you get out more.”
“Why are you trying to drag me out of my one and only safe haven? That’s basically assault.”
“Your mom told you to go out, didn’t she? I should probably tell her about this.”
“Do you have a lot to report to my mom or something?”
“A whole lot. I’m definitely telling her what happened today.”
I thought the conversation had naturally moved on and that the earlier incident was over.
Apparently it wasn’t. Well, given the mood back then, it wasn’t going to end that quickly.
“That was just a momentary mistake on my part…”
“Oh, so because it was a mistake, I should just forget it? Is that what you’re saying?”
“No, that’s not it. Do whatever makes you comfortable.”
“I was going to stop at the black plates, but I guess I’ll have to eat more.”
They say one word can repay a debt of a thousand nyang.
I finally understood that saying wasn’t just empty words. Chae-yeon turned her head sharply away from me and started eating only the sushi on the black plates again.
“Chae-yeon, it looks like you’re eating a bit too much…”
“What was that?”
“Nothing. Please enjoy your meal.”
Whew, that was terrifying. I couldn’t say another word.
After we finished all the sushi and paid the bill, we left the restaurant.
Half the money I had saved up until now was gone in one go. This must be how people who trade crypto feel.
“Ah, that was delicious. Thanks for the meal.”
“If it was that good, I guess it was worth paying.”
“Huh? Then if I eat well again, will you buy me more?”
“You want me to buy you something right now?”
“Yeah. Let’s get dessert. Shaved ice!!”
Still not fully processing the situation, I was dragged by Chae-yeon to a shaved ice café.
I was too full to even think about eating, but she ordered a shaved ice that looked like it was meant for two people.
When the shaved ice arrived, she sat down and naturally started eating it.
I was witnessing a miracle of the human body in real time.
After eating all that sushi, where was all this shaved ice even going?
“You eat some too.”
“I’m full.”
“How can you eat so little? You need to eat more.”
“Grandma, I’m full now. Please stop giving me more.”
“What are you saying? My grandson is so skinny.”
“I really am full.”
“Just a little more. Here.”
“Then I’ll eat it.”
“If I leave it, you won’t eat it. Eating together makes it taste better.”
Chae-yeon casually held out the spoon she had been using. I stared at it quietly.
That was the spoon she had been eating with. So that meant…
Never mind. We weren’t elementary school kids anymore. There was no need to overthink it. Chae-yeon didn’t seem bothered by it either.
“It’s good, right?”
“It is pretty good. The sweetness is nice.”
“Injeolmi shaved ice is the best. I always order it whenever I come here.”
“Are you a VIP or something?”
“Aigoo, if you added up all the money I’ve spent here, I probably paid for a few of their windows.”
After finishing the shaved ice, I felt incredibly bloated.
I was so full that I thought I might throw up if someone even poked my stomach.
“Ah, today was fun. Even with that thing that happened in the middle.”
“I’ll make sure nothing like that happens again.”
“You’d better. If you do it one more time, I really won’t see you anymore.”
“Yeah, I promise.”
We had met in the afternoon and stayed out until late evening.
It was a day I could genuinely say I had fun. My body was tired from being outside so much, but I felt good.
“Jung-woo.”
“Yeah, what?”
“You don’t contact people very often, do you?”
“Huh?! Who said that?”
“My mom told me. She said your mom told her that you barely ever reach out.”
“Uh… yeah, I guess I don’t contact people much.”
“Are you going to do that to me too?”
Chae-yeon stepped closer, as if applying silent pressure.
Her gaze felt so heavy that I slowly backed away, but I hit the wall behind me and had nowhere left to go.
“Are you going to suddenly stop talking to me too?”
“Ah, no? I’ll keep in touch.”
“You have to. If you don’t, I’ll come to your house.”
“Y-yeah.”
“Today was fun. Let’s meet up again soon.”
“Get home safe. I’ll text you.”
“You’d better. Don’t forget.”
So many things had happened in a single day. It didn’t feel like we had only been hanging out for a few hours.
I had also seen a side of Chae-yeon I had never seen before.
As I walked home, her last words kept echoing in my head.
They were the kind of thing even normal friends could say to each other.
But the expression on her face when she looked at me and the tone of her voice made it feel like it wasn’t something a simple friend would say.
Sigh. I shouldn’t read too much into it. There’s no way she would feel that way about me.