I Have to Go
Even if no one else knew, Rubiru did.
She had seen it that day—the ones who raised those flames as they fled, slaughtering the people who had been looking after us.
Her hands trembled, too weak even to hold on properly. In that slender touch, fear and sorrow seemed to mingle as one.
"... C-come with me. L-let's run, okay? R-Riel, y-you'll die. You might d-die..."
If there had been just a little more time, I would have wanted the same.
But the silhouettes beyond the roaring flames were growing denser and sharper even now.
Those who paid no mind even to that crimson fire were the ones leading the charge.
If soldiers from the other outposts arrived as reinforcements, we might use sheer numbers—fight with everything we had and hold the advance back for a single wave. But if we simply ran, everyone would die before help could reach us.
They would hunt us down and kill us.
So, Rubiru.
"... I have to go. Rubiru."
Let me go.
"... L-Lediche? M-me? If you die, w-what are we supposed to do! R-Riel—! W-we can just run together... Y-you don't have any reason to fight, right?"
Rubiru clung to me as if throwing a tantrum—no.
As if she were a child who simply refused to be abandoned.
Parting is an extraordinarily hard thing.
I had cried for a long time even when I left the church back home.
Honestly, even if I thrashed and struggled, I did not believe I could defeat the ones who had killed Baron Köln.
But I knew full well that someone still had to go.
I took her delicate hands and gently pulled them free.
Our eyes met as Rubiru held me from behind.
Her hair had grown quite a bit without my noticing.
Those once-glossy brown locks had lost a little of their color ever since the day she saved me.
She had been recovering lately, but I still knew how frail she remained.
She had gone that far to keep me alive.
Rubiru, and Lediche too.
So this was something I had to do.
"... Rubiru, I want you to live. That's why I absolutely have to go."
"Y-your family is waiting for you—!"
"Lediche, and you too, Rubiru. You're both as precious to me as family."
I knew she would not understand, but there truly was no more time.
The fact that I had never even managed a proper goodbye before still lingered in my heart.
I brushed my right hand through her brown hair—the mark of the sacrifice she had made for me—and held her tightly.
"... Riel—."
Then I lifted her clean off the ground, carried her over to Hummel who was preparing the retreat, and set her on his horse.
Lediche, already mounted beside him, seemed to grasp what I intended at a single glance—
"W-what—! N-no, Riel. C-come back right now. That's an order. An order from the young head of the Rueshatia family!"
She cried out in desperation.
"No—! Riel—! Viscount, put me down—! I don't want this—!"
Hummel looked at me, then sharply turned his head away.
It seemed he was saying he was sorry, but I could not hear his voice.
The barbarians' war horns filled the entire battlefield.
"I will definitely return, so please don't worry."
I offered a brief, formal bow, a smile still on my face.
"No—! Riel—! Come back right now—! It's an order, an order—!"
Lediche did not know how to ride.
The knight seated behind her simply spurred the horse onward even as she thrashed and tried to climb down.
Whoosh—!
We set fire to the outpost as well.
We hid our bodies behind the crimson blaze and drew our swords.
Roughly ten of us remained.
Those who had forced their way through the wall of fire numbered about three.
The rest would either be deserters, or they would kill any survivors they found before storming the outpost. If not that, they would only appear once the flames died down, to support the vanguard.
At a glance, those three looked like the same men who had been present the last time I saw Baron Köln.
Thud—, thud—, thud—.
It felt as if someone were hammering the inside of my skull.
That familiar sense of déjà vu washed over me again.
When I had cut down the scouts alone, nothing had crossed my mind.
Now, I was simply endlessly afraid.
Crack—.
A burning tree toppled.
The barbarians crushed it underfoot as they walked, methodically stabbing every corpse left in the outpost.
They were being careful.
No—they had no choice but to be careful.
A single-point breakthrough was essentially a gamble over who would seize the capital first—the kingdom or them.
Their defeat would mean the destruction of the barbarian kingdom itself.
"... Do not fight to kill. Everyone, we somehow have to buy time."
They all seemed to understand.
If we stayed clustered together we might kill one of them, but we would never buy time.
We scattered and hid ourselves in suitable positions.
With no one left to lean on, each of us became alone amid the heat that seared our skin.
My head began to ache again.
Thud—, thud—, thud—.
In the midst of swirling thoughts, I suddenly pulled the drawing from my breast and looked at it.
I had carried it for so long, and blood had stained it brown, yet the faint outlines of our smiling faces—drawn in happier days—still remained.
I want Lediche and Rubiru to live.
When the war ends, I want to go back and see everyone.
I don't want to die.
"Uwaaaaaaah—!"
A scream-like shout rang out.
From behind the collapsing barracks of the outpost.
Even with my eyes closed, without looking, I knew exactly where it was.
Someone had been spotted by the barbarians and raised his sword to overcome the terror.
But the sound that followed was a sickening, wet slice.
The sound of a head rolling across the ground before swords could even clash—before eyes could even meet.
The sound of blood gushing from severed vessels, of the rough flames evaporating that blood.
My fear only grew.
Strangely, though, my head began to hurt a little less.
Because a comrade had just died.
I want to live a long time. I want to be happy.
And so I gripped my sword even tighter.
I'm the strongest one here. If I hide, the others will die like dogs.
It's better if I buy the time and draw their attention.
Only if I buy time and escape can I see everyone again—can I keep Lediche and Rubiru alive.
Sword clenched hard, I stepped out from the flames.
I saw them—bodies covered in tattoos, yet strangely slight for barbarians.
They looked at me, younger than they had expected, and their brows furrowed slightly.
No—it did not seem to be because of my age.
"... Even though you chose death for your comrades, tears still fall?"
I seemed to be crying.
Drop by drop, tears slid down over the hand that gripped my sword.
After learning what had become of Rhea, Ceria, and Claudia.
Around the time Lediche and Rubiru became something beyond merely precious.
Perhaps from the moment lingering attachments took root, I had begun to fear dying.
I did not bother denying it.
The tears were real, and so was my fear.
I did not want to die. I intended to survive and return by any means necessary.
"... How am I supposed to not cry when I have to kill people who bear me no malice?"
I could not let my presence be overpowered.
To survive, I had to pretend I was hiding something, the way an animal puffs itself up.
I was no Sword Master—I could not even handle mana.
But right now, I had to look stronger than anyone else.
"... I'm mourning for you in advance."
As I spoke, I deliberately twisted the corner of my mouth into a smirk.
Because the hand holding my sword was shaking, I drew a dagger with my left and secretly nicked my own thigh.
The searing pain stilled the tremor.
The fear gradually transformed into a desperate will to survive.
"That almost sounds like you believe you can kill us. I am Kelcron. Your name?"
"... Riel."
"We have exchanged names, so there is no more honor left to observe."
The barbarian spoke as if sneering, yet his expression was utterly serious.
Flames roared to life along the length of his greatsword.
Yet somehow fatigue showed on his face, and sweat ran down his cheek.
When I thought about it, it was only natural.
Even a mage cannot cast magic without limit.
They had cut down hundreds—perhaps easily over a thousand—on their way to this outpost.
They must have felled nearly a hundred knights as well.
Ordinary men cannot face knights, so these ones would have been the ones to cut the knights down—and they would have used those flames again and again in the process.
Even at the fastest pace, reaching here from the frontline outpost takes two full days.
If the "flames" they raised could truly be used freely, they would never have bothered scouting the terrain or attaching other forces in the first place.
They could simply charge in and cut everything down.
They were exhausted too, yet they had forced their way through the fire itself to seize the outpost.
There might still be hope—
The thought had barely formed when the sweat beading on Kelcron's cheek gathered and began to fall.
Before that drop could even touch the ground—
"... Huh?"
Something drove into his guard at a speed he could barely register.
The flames wreathing his greatsword reflected perfectly along my blade.
I never even considered a counterattack.
I thought I was about to die, yet somehow my body moved on its own.
That strange sense of déjà vu returned once more.
Without thinking, I raised my blade and intercepted the greatsword that sought to cleave me in half.
Fearing the sword would snap if I simply braced, I leapt lightly from the ground and accepted the force without resisting it.
Krrraaang—!
I tumbled across the ground and flew straight through the wall of fire.
I had thought I might die, yet for some reason I did not.
My skin was lightly scorched, my bones felt as if they had been crushed, and my mouth filled with the copper taste of blood—that was all.
"... A noble, are you? You carry a sword that will not break."
Kelcron spoke while staring at my blade.
In my hand was the sword Cronian had gifted me.
The guild.
It seemed I had one more reason to survive.
To live, I have to keep rolling across the ground the way I always have.
I slowly fixed my gaze on Kelcron.
I had to find a way.
The greatsword he wielded was far longer and larger than my entire body.
I have to close the distance if I want to live.
The instant I understood that, I drove my front foot forward, shoved off the earth as if to shatter it, and sprinted to close the gap by any means.
Déjà vu.
A sensation I felt I had experienced again and again.
Something unpleasant brushed through my mind—
Thump—, thump—, thump—, thump—.
My heart began to pound furiously once more.
The arc of Kelcron's greatsword left afterimages of flame along its edge.
I advanced through those afterimages and thrust my sword to alter the trajectory.
And the moment his greatsword and my blade met, I released my strength and simply let the greatsword slide past.
The path changed only slightly.
Yet the result changed dramatically in the opposite direction.
The greatsword that should have carved through my body only grazed my shoulder by a hair's breadth.
I succeeded in driving myself into Kelcron's guard.
Just as he had looked at me, I looked at him.
Boom—!
In that instant the ground heaved as if an earthquake had struck.
Kelcron's eyes flew wide as he stamped the earth with tremendous force.
I had thought the flames only rose along the blade—I had been wrong.
Kelcron himself seemed to blaze, as if wrapped in fire.
"Hup—!"
He kindled flame in his empty left hand and drove a fist toward me as if to punch straight through my heart.
I was no different.
I gripped the dagger Laika had given me and slashed for Kelcron's throat.
If it was a thrust rather than a parry, I knew my dagger would reach his neck as well.
I knew that if we died together, it would be their side that suffered the greater loss.
I twisted my waist and hand even harder, accelerating further.
Thud—!
So Kelcron opened his hand.
He withdrew the fist and blocked the dagger with his flame-wreathed palm.
Then he kicked me away.
Crash—!
As I tumbled across the ground once more, the knights and soldiers who had been hiding revealed themselves.
To keep the other two barbarians from joining the fight.
And to help me.
"They're exhausted! If we just buy time somehow, there's still hope—!"
I shouted even as I spat up a mouthful of blood.
The moment the fire died, other barbarians would pour into the outpost and we would all die just the same.
Even so, I clung to hope by force.
Thump—, thump—, thump—.
My heart raced even faster.
I felt no pain; only my opponent filled my vision.
Kelcron extinguished the flames and gasped for breath, proof of his exhaustion.
Shock and astonishment both lived in his eyes.
The knights and conscripts followed my words and thoroughly bought time.
They would begin a thrust only to stop short with a click, then leap backward a short distance to open space.
Whenever the barbarians tried to close in swiftly, they threw daggers or loosed arrows from afar to keep them at bay.
They pathologically refused to allow approach and never even crossed blades.
It was exactly the same situation I had once forced upon the scouts.
"You all right, Riel?"
Two knights walked up to where I had fallen. One handed me a Potion.
The other took Cronian's sword in my place and stepped between me and Kelcron to buy more time.
"... Riel—!"
Almost at the same moment, a familiar voice reached my ears.
I turned my head without thinking and saw Lediche and Rubiru.
Hummel was with them as well.
"I called for reinforcements. They said they'd be here soon. S-so— d-don't try to sacrifice yourself alone."
"... I already lost my father. I couldn't lose you too, Riel. I'm sorry—."
Those three were not the full strength of the barbarians.
The flames would die once they had burned everything there was to burn.
Then the rest of the barbarians would storm the outpost—
and Hummel, Lediche, and Rubiru, numbering barely fifty, would all die.
"I told you to run...!"
Why did you come back? Why, damn it—
Just as I was about to shout, Rubiru sobbed and threw her arms around me.
"If I'm going to die, I'd rather die with you, Riel. So please... don't say something so cruel as asking why I wouldn't accept your death."
Even Hummel—who had once left me a note begging me not to spar with the knights because he was too scared—was trembling so hard he could barely hold his sword straight, yet he nodded as if in agreement.