The Promise (2)
Claudia's tail curled in on itself.
When Rhea asked her, she lowered her eyes just slightly.
Her hands seemed to tremble a little too.
Claudia was the sort who said everything on her mind, but that never made her bold. She always insisted she was a brave wolf, yet trembling was her defining trait if anything. When Rhea questioned her with eyes full of anger, Claudia instead wrapped her tail around me. It was the same behavior she showed whenever she heard something frightening.
"...Why do I hate Riel? Tell me, Claudia."
"...Hiiing. I-I'm sorry, Rhea."
"You don't need to be sorry. Why did you think I hate Riel?"
The fear was plain to see. I didn't know the reason, but Rhea must have always looked after her whenever I went out to work. Maybe she had scolded her or gotten angry a few times.
"Ri-Riel.... H-Help meee—."
Claudia flinched as she looked at Rhea, then turned to me. The wolf-beastkin girl who had been smiling bashfully only moments ago was now all curled up, unable even to meet my eyes. I could feel that emotion in the careful way she clutched at the hem of my clothes. For now, mediating the situation would be better than assigning blame. We had promised to care for each other, so we shouldn't make things hard for one another.
"Rhea, Claudia must have misunderstood."
"Misunderstood? What misunderstanding? Riel, you know!"
Rhea shouted. Claudia flinched and shrank back in surprise. They stared at each other in silence until Rhea set the plate and food down in front of us. Then she came over, sat beside us, and took Claudia's hand, stroking it gently.
The silence stretched on. Even so, Rhea kept holding Claudia's hand and stayed still. The tail that had wrapped around me in fear slowly uncoiled, then gradually moved to rest on Rhea's lap.
"Claudia, do you remember the promise we made?"
Rhea was the first to speak.
"...Yeah."
"We promised to care only for each other. How could I hate Riel? I like him. I like him a lot. We were here even before Sister Flora brought you two. Claudia, Ceria. I might like Riel even more than you do."
"B-But.... Ev-Every day, y-you get mad at Riel.... Even though you know he does all sorts of things for us...."
"...I don't even get mad at people I hate."
"Then you don't hate Riel?"
"...Yeah. I like him."
Rhea looked at me with affectionate eyes. Claudia looked at me with similar ones. Before long, Claudia—brightening just the way she did when I brushed her tail—hugged Rhea. It was her own way of showing affection.
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too."
As the two apologized and held each other, the heavy atmosphere still bothered me, so I spoke up as well.
"Then I'm sorry too."
When I said it playfully, both Claudia and Rhea laughed. In the brightened mood, her swaying tail slowly went back and forth between me and Rhea. She asked in a bright voice, without a hint of malice.
"Then can I marry Riel? I-I like Riel."
"...You can't get married."
"Why? Do you want to marry Riel too, Rhea?"
Having just gotten angry and just made up, Rhea pressed her lips tightly shut. They had confirmed each other's feelings in the darkest part of the alley, so it must have been even more unsettling. I tried to brush it off by saying we should talk about that when we were older, but Rhea spoke first.
"...Who he marries is for Riel to decide. Not us."
"Whyyy? Can't he marry me?"
"Even if we care only for each other, a partner is just one person. So Riel has to choose."
"Even when we played house, Riel played with me the most, you know? I was always the mom. I can be a good mom!"
"Playing house and marriage are different."
"You haven't been married either, Rhea. And when we played house, Riel always told me to be the mom."
"That's because you're a wolf-beastkin....!"
"Huh? Wolf-beastkin what?"
"...Hah. Never mind."
Rhea started to say something, then swallowed it and whipped her head away. Worried the situation might turn serious again, I spoke up.
"...When we grow up, our thoughts might change, you know? There might be someone cooler than me."
"...Uh, I don't think so...."
"You never know, right?"
"Then if I wait until we grow up and no one better than Riel shows up.... If I still like Riel then, will you marry me?"
"Yeah, I will. So now let's finish brushing your tail. We still have to pray with Ceria."
"Okay!"
Rhea looked dissatisfied, but perhaps because she already knew my heart, she didn't protest much. I finished brushing her tail and, as always, stroked Claudia's hair. I patted the back of the wolf-beastkin girl nestled against me, told her as always to go to sleep first, and left the bedroom.
More time had passed than I thought. Looking outside, the sun was setting.
I wanted to cheer Rhea up and play more with Claudia. But knowing Ceria was waiting for me, I headed straight to Sister's room. It was the place Ceria and I now used as a prayer room.
Creak— I opened the door. The remaining sunlight seeped through the window crack and shone on Ceria. Perhaps because I was too late, in front of Ceria—who was leaning against the chair asleep—lay the cross Sister used to look at while praying. It was neither large nor small, about the size of a small fist.
"...Ceria?"
There was no answer when I called. She had waited long enough to fall into a deep sleep. Sometimes, even without intending it, someone would end up left out. Each time it felt like I was failing to keep the promise, and it made me sad. So carefully, I picked Ceria up in my arms.
If she was sleepy she should sleep; I couldn't let her catch a cold in a place like this. But the moment I lifted her, Ceria rubbed her eyes as if on purpose and looked at me.
"Mm, Riel...?"
"Sorry. I was really late, wasn't I?"
"Nooo.... Riel is kind.... You were late because you were taking care of Claudia...."
"Aren't you sleepy? Sister actually skipped prayers a few times too."
When I phrased going to sleep that way, Ceria shook her head.
"Ugh, I don't want that. I waited a long time to pray with Riel. Being late is fine, but I don't want to skip prayer. At least for me, it's a really precious time...."
"Is that so? Then shall we pray?"
"Yeah."
When I set her down, Ceria knelt in front of the cross. But unlike usual, she seemed unable to focus on the prayer. I could clearly feel her glancing at me over and over.
"Is there something on your mind?"
"Huh? U-Uh? Ah, noo?"
"Seems like there is."
"No, no.... Th-There's nothing."
Ceria was truly terrible at lying. Who would believe her when she denied it so flusteredly? She said she wanted to be like Sister Flora, and maybe she had even taken after that.
"Why? Tell me. I'll listen. I might not be able to solve it, but sharing worries makes them better. We're family.... If it's something hard, I'll listen with you."
Ceria put down her clasped hands and fidgeted. She was reading the room, glancing around to see if anyone was behind. Worried someone might overhear, she carefully pulled my shoulder closer and brought her face near.
"...I fought with Claudia."
She said she had fought with Claudia.
Why had they fought? Rhea was in the position of looking after the kids with me, so she could get angry sometimes. But Ceria had only ever shown herself getting along with Claudia like real sisters.
"...Why?"
"...I-I don't know either. I just hate it. Even when we play house, Claudia always gets to be the mom."
"You fought over something like that?"
"Something like that?! Th-That's how important it is!"
Ceria realized she had raised her voice without meaning to and covered her mouth.
"...And it's not just because of playing house."
"Then did Claudia do something wrong?"
"...Yeah."
"What did she do wrong?"
In that moment Ceria closed her mouth and hemmed and hawed.
"...She said she wanted to."
"Huh?"
"...She said she wanted tooo...."
"I can't hear you well...?"
"Sh-She said she wants to marry y-you, Riel!"
Ceria raised her voice again, and this time she didn't cover her mouth.
"...There's a promise. We promised to care only for each other.... B-But Claudia marrying Riel is unfair! Hey, it might break the promise! If you get married, you don't care for each other—you only care for wife and husband.... It was like that even when we played house...."
"Playing house is just play."
"Just play?! Those things pile up one by one.... Hey, the promise could break, Riel!"
I understood Ceria venting her dissatisfaction about Claudia. For the past year we had never been apart except when going to work. Maybe it was because she was anxious. The anxiety of being abandoned again, the anxiety that I might leave the way we had lost Sister. Looking at Ceria, I felt worried. Had I not given her enough trust over the past year? That thought came too.
"...I'm sorry. For yelling for no reason. You know.... Riel is kind, and it feels so good when you warmly care for me.... But when I think that might only be directed at Claudia, I just got mad. So I fought."
In that moment I remembered Claudia's tail. The fur had been tangled.
"You really fought?"
"...Like Rhea did, I hit her once—thump."
"You hit her once?"
"...And I pushed her."
"...Haa."
I let out a sigh. Maybe the reason Claudia had so purely said she wanted to marry me was because she had gotten hit by Ceria for revealing her feelings. Maybe she had wanted someone on her side.
"You can't do that."
"...B-But. Claudia just acts spoiled too much. She tries to be with Riel every day. And it's not like she's spreading around that she likes him everywhere!"
"If Sister heard that Claudia likes me, she would have praised her instead. Having such feelings is a good thing."
When I said that, Ceria froze as if she had received a shock. Suddenly she rubbed her eyes and sniffled.
"Th-Then, hey, are you saying we should break the promise? Ri-Riel too. H-Uuh, hic, Clau-Claudiaaa... Hic, do y-you want to m-marry her? You said you'd care for us. Y-You said you'd protect us.... You said you'd stay with us f-forever.... Riel said he'd look after us...!"
Looking at her crying face, it was true that I didn't feel good. I gently pulled Ceria to lean against me and lightly hugged her. It was Claudia's way of showing affection, but we had all gotten so used to it that it had become our way of showing affection too.
"Instead, she would have said you have to ask me too. Forcing it just because one person wants it is violence."
"...Violence?"
"Yeah. Violence."
Ceria sniffled for a long while, then nodded.
"...Hic. I was bad."
And then, still leaning on my shoulder and crying, she said,
"...When I wake up, I'll apologize to Claudia."
Only after that, as if the lump in her heart had dissolved, Ceria knelt again and clasped her hands. I sat beside her, looked at the cross, closed my eyes, and clasped my hands. I didn't know what Ceria was praying for, but at least I prayed about today's events. I prayed that everything would be resolved well, that with time it would become a story we could laugh about.
...Next year, Claudia and Ceria will be twelve too.
I prayed that Rhea, Claudia, and Ceria would be happy. My dream was for the three of them to be happy, and it had long since changed to them achieving their dreams. Fulfilling what Sister had wanted to achieve was my dream.
"Are you done?"
Ceria asked with a brighter face, so I nodded. When we headed to the bedroom where the simple bed was, Rhea and Claudia were asleep hugging each other. Looking at their reddened eyes, it seemed they had just been saying sorry to each other again.
"Good night, Ceria."
"...You too, Riel."
We spoke as if we were parting, but we lay on the same bed. A cold wind seeped in, but with each other there it wasn't that cold. Yet sleep wouldn't come. Claudia, Ceria, Rhea. Thinking that each of them had things festering toward the others, I tossed and turned. If we spent time together, talked together, played like before, we could resolve it quickly.
But I can't take time off work....
Money was always the problem. They were at the age of growing a lot, so having to buy clothes every time was a problem too. Forget good food—the tomatoes we bought occasionally were most of the nutrition. That was a problem too. The biggest problem was that for Rhea's dream of becoming a magician, Ceria's dream of becoming a sister, and Claudia's dream of becoming a good mother, education was needed. And that education still required money.
The slums are no good.
I thought carefully about what I could do. But nothing came to mind except the slums. For a young and talentless me, there was no way to earn money other than that kind of work.
...
After fretting for a long while, I shook my head. I didn't want to go against Sister's teachings and swindle naive people. Instead....
...They said if you lure monsters, they'll give you money.
Still, I thought of a way to earn big money legitimately in the slums. Live bait. Not swindling people, but luring monsters from the distant fields. Since almost no one wanted to do it, it was work only for the lowest of the low in the slums. Adults who needed money more than their lives, or kids who just followed their parents' words and went to die.
If it looks too dangerous, I can just run away.
The next day, I headed to the slums. I needed money to keep the promise, and I needed money to cut out the festering things.