Is It Dead?
After taking down the mid-boss on the first run, I realized something.
"Hey, Bini-Bini."
"What? What? What is it~?"
She looked ridiculously pleased with herself, like she thought she'd taken that thing down on pure skill.
Fine. Go ahead and show me what you've got.
"You said you wanted to try sword-and-board, right?"
"Obviously. I wanna move fast and hit stuff."
"Okay, cool. Then we're restarting."
The game kicked off again, and I picked up a greatsword instead of the dao I usually ran.
The moment I selected that big, beautiful slab of steel, Lee Yebin had questions.
"Huh? You're not taking the dao? Greatsword?"
"There's a build I've been wanting to try."
"Hmm~ Okay, got it. Let's go."
So began our second run. Yebin leaned into the sword-and-shield specialty—blocking to take as little damage as possible, freely weaving dash attacks and charged strikes—and she was having a noticeably easier time than before.
"Yes~ This is it!"
"Not bad."
"Right, right? I'm doing okay, aren't I?"
"I wasn't talking about you. I was talking about me."
Yebin was crowing with pride, but compared to the speed at which I was pulverizing monsters with the greatsword, her pace was downright pathetic.
Which is why I'd hunted more monsters than she had.
"Hey, you're supposed to be the carry! Carry me already!!"
And just like that, Yebin slipped straight into needy mode.
There was only one thing I could say to that.
"Fine. Oppa's got you."
The second those words left my mouth, Yebin fired back.
"What the hell are you talking about, you psycho."
"Says the girl younger than me."
"Nope. Early birthday. In this country, early birthday is the law~"
"Damn family-tree wrecker."
Grumbling wasn't going to change anything, so I just pushed the game forward.
Before long we hit a build-selection checkpoint, and Yebin picked a rapier.
A rapier.
Great thrust attacks, fast attack speed—a perfect glass-cannon setup.
Yeah. That's more like it.
I waited for her to lock in her weapon, then calmly selected the most grotesque-looking thing on the list.
"Ugh, what is that."
Her reaction only confirmed it. This was the right choice.
The weapon I'd just equipped was the Grotesque Spine Sword—exactly what it sounded like. A sword forged from a pulled spine.
The chat had already caught on that something was off, so I addressed them with complete confidence.
"Chat, isn't this genuinely artistic? I truly believe this weapon is a work of art. It's art!"
"Art my ass."
"Yep. Peak fucking art."
Unlike Yebin, a few of the viewers who'd actually played Sefirot seemed to have grasped the artistry of my build.
And Yebin—who currently had no idea how artistic this setup was—would come to understand its greatness soon enough.
This build? It was designed to make sure Yebin could never stay dead.
From that point on, I deliberately steered clear of mid-boss areas out of consideration for her.
"Hey, why aren't we going for the mid-boss?"
"Because you'll die again."
"Hmph~ I don't die, okay? This is Bini Mark II. Sword-and-board Bini is invincible, got it?"
"Invincible. Sure. Totally invincible."
I humored her halfheartedly and started prepping for the boss fight—checking the artifacts and stats I'd stacked so far, settling into the quiet certainty that I was not going to die.
Meanwhile, Yebin was showing off in front of a training dummy, unloading every flashy combo she had.
Whoosh-whoosh-whoosh! Whoosh! Swish! Swish! Whirrr!
Look at all that swagger. Wonder how long that'll last.
"We're heading out."
"Oki~ Let's go~!"
Yebin answered in the brightest voice, and I led her straight to the first boss.
The boss that spawned was the mole from the tutorial—the one Yebin had died to several times before clearing.
There was dialogue. I skipped all of it. I had a Yebin to torment.
"LEEEET'S GOOOOO!"
She charged in with absolute confidence. And then, as if it were the most natural thing in the world—
CRRRRUNCH!
"KYAAAAAAAH!!!"
Within seconds, Yebin was a cold, stiff corpse.
Me? I just dodged the attacks casually and poked at it whenever I felt like it.
"Alright. Get up."
"Yesss…"
Yebin revived looking thoroughly deflated—then immediately bounced back and started wailing on the mole again.
Papapapak! Papapapak!
She was really going at it. Problem was, she absolutely should not have been standing there doing that.
Whirrrrr! CRUNCH!!
"MOM!?"
Yeah. It has a spinning attack pattern.
"Alright. Get up again."
I walked over and revived her once more. She popped up and chugged potions like her life depended on it—which, to be fair, it did.
"Thanks!"
Thanks, she says…
I was genuinely looking forward to finding out how long those thank-yous would last.
And so the game went on.
Yebin, whose learning ability had apparently been banished to the shadow realm, died on the mole's claws again and again, and I brought her back every single time.
As for the attacks flying my way…
CLANG!
I just tanked them.
"Alright. Get up again."
"……Hey. How much damage are you even taking."
"Why do you care."
"I'm just curious."
"More than you, at least."
"Well, yeah, obviously."
Obviously? I'm the tank.
"You've barely been hitting it for a while now."
……Did she catch that?
Time to deny everything.
"No I haven't. I've been hitting it plenty."
"Don't lie to me! You've been tapping it once and calling it a day!"
I watched the chat banter fly and tried one more round of denial.
There was a good suggestion in there, though. I really should've been swinging at empty air.
"What are you talking about? I've been hitting it hard."
"Cut the crap. You think I didn't notice you only landing one hit at a time? Be honest. You've just been reviving me over and over while refusing to actually fight, haven't you!?"
……
Tsk.
Busted.
No choice, then. Time to drop the line.
"I hate sharp little brats like you."
"You little shit, what did you just—"
"Oh, look. Next pattern incoming?"
This time I deliberately dropped my guard and took the hit clean.
THUD!
Damage taken: 1.
Yep. A flat one.
Yebin, on the other hand, had to guard for her life and claw her way through every second just to stay standing.
"Hey, when are you gonna die!?"
"Behold my health bar."
I deliberately threw myself into an absolutely brutal attack pattern. Yebin dodged.
CRRRRRUNCH!
Perfect hit. Critical hit. And the damage?
1, 1, 1, and another 1.
"Tickles, mole."
"You… what did you even…"
"What do you think? I'm a tank. An absurdly tanky tank. It's art!!"
Yeah. This was art. The highest form of art—the infinite art of tormenting Lee Yebin to the absolute limit.
THUD!!
"MOM!?"
Yebin died again. I walked over to her corpse and bellowed:
"SSA-SSA-SSO-SSE!!!"
"What the hell is thaaaaaat!!"
Whether she screamed or not, I delivered the Monster Reborn chant, then followed it up with some comforting words.
"Don't worry! Even if you die, just make a wish to the Divine Dragon and you'll come back! And I'm the Divine Dragon!!!"
"How the hell are YOU the Divine Dragooooon!!!"
If I keep bringing back someone who's died this many times, of course I'm the Divine Dragon.
"I am the Heo Jun and Hua Tuo of the twenty-first century."
"AAAAAARGH!! I fucking HATE youuuuu!!!"
She said that, but she kept grinding away at the fight. And then she got hit and died again?
"Is it dead?"
I chanted the resurrection spell and brought her back once more.
Chat could say whatever they wanted. I was going to keep reviving her.
Why? Because that's a boyfriend's duty. Saving your girlfriend.
And so Yebin died and died and kept coming back—revived so many times she couldn't even stay dead if she tried.
Right around the moment I started seriously wondering if she'd qualified for the Death Squadron—
RUMMMMMBLE!!!
She finally cleared it.
And she'd actually dealt more damage than me, too. Perfect.
"Nice work! Bini!"
I poured every ounce of sincerity into that praise. And then…
Rattle.
Creeeak.
That familiar sound.
I immediately hit the lock on my door. Yebin—
Creeeak.
—opened it anyway.
How the fuck? I changed the doorknob again!?
"YOU SON OF A BIIIIIIITCH!!!"
"Ah— STOP! STOOOOOP!!"
Telling her to stop did absolutely nothing.
Yebin grabbed me by the shoulders and started shaking me like she genuinely intended to kill me.
After a few more violent shakes, the dizziness won and I toppled to the floor.
CRASH!!
And once I was down, Yebin delivered the line of the century.
"Is it dead!? Is it deeeeeead!?"
A resurrection chant, loaded with pure rage.
Yeah. That's it, Yebin. That's the resurrection spell. You learned well.
But I am genuinely dizzy right now. Give me five minutes.
How is she this strong? She's just shaking me and my stomach is already doing flips.