135. My Buff is a Drug
And so, while the two of them gave themselves over to each other, dominating, biting, and sucking, passing the time in erotic bliss.......
'What the hell am I supposed to do now?'
Ahn Se-rin remained seated in that very spot, agonizing.
The dishes she'd had prepared—untouched by so much as a single chopstick—met her eyes.
She clearly hadn't eaten a single meal since this morning.
She'd been so consumed by worry and emotional distress that eating had never even crossed her mind.
Even so, she felt absolutely no desire to eat the delicacies before her.
On the contrary, looking at them nearly made her retch.
That was how heavily the psychological pressure weighed on Ahn Se-rin.
'Was skipping meals the problem? If I'd eaten with a calm mind, I would've thought things through one more time before speaking. At the very least, it wouldn't have ended up like this.......'
― You. Do you know who I am?
At first, she'd just thought he was spouting third-rate thug talk, but,
― I'm asking whether you even properly investigated what kind of guy I was, how I lived my life, and how I ended up at this facility before throwing out threats like that.
The more she heard, the more she felt that perhaps she was the one in the wrong.
It was true: she hadn't tried to find out anything about Choi Hye-yong.
Truly, nothing at all.
― You think what I've shown you people is all there is to me? You honestly believe that?
The idea that he was hiding more of his strength was also a subject worth considering.
But she had assumed none of it.
Even though she'd had ample time.
She'd simply been full of the notion that she, backed by the Eun-ha Group and the Yoon Jun family, naturally held more power than Choi Hye-yong—who until recently had possessed zero presence—and that if he crossed a line, she could threaten him and crush him underfoot.
That was what had brought about this disaster.
'Now that I think about it, I only ever had two choices.......'
Endure whatever Choi Hye-yong demanded and somehow bring him into the Eun-ha Group.
Or apologize to the young lady, admitting it was beyond her ability.
Either choice had been a matter she loathed enough to die.
And so, the result of trying to carve out a different path...... was this sorry state.
It was truly the absolute worst of the worst, beyond compare.
If she'd chosen the first option, her mind would have been whittled away by trauma, but she could have kept Choi Hye-yong at her side.
If she'd chosen the second option, she would have lost the young lady's trust, but she wouldn't have ended up in such a miserable situation as this.
Even if she lost trust, her relationship with the young lady wasn't the sort to be completely shattered by a single mistake.
But if the recording Choi Hye-yong had just taken ever reached Young Lady Eun-ha's ears, Ahn Se-rin could consider her life over then and there.
The Yoon Jun family possessed that kind of power.
She would be saddled with every crime, real or fabricated, and left to rot in prison for life.
Her own act of murder had also played a part in her androphobia and trauma.
The end, the end, the end.......
Only that word circled in her head.
'The one thing I can do right now is.......'
Throw away every last shred of pride.
Crawl and grovel at someone's feet, just as she had when she first met Young Lady Eun-ha.
Admit that the person she was then and the person she is now are no different—that she has accomplished nothing.......
Negating all the years you've lived is certainly no easy thing.
But if your life is on the line, you have no choice.
You simply must.
Ahn Se-rin remained seated, muttering to herself over and over.
"I haven't changed at all... In the end, I'm exactly the same... If I don't prostrate myself at someone's feet, I can't do a thing... I fail at everything... Even struggling to keep what's mine from being taken away......."
That time had been the same.
Back then, a man who'd seemed to pity her as she sat on the roadside chewing on a filthy scrap of cloth had tossed her a single hamburger, still warm as if just bought.
Afraid that even that would be snatched away if she ate it out in the open, she'd ducked into a dark alley to eat it—but as she ran clutching it, she'd tripped and fallen, and been caught by low-life men.
Now, looking back, it was over a scrap of bread—something she could buy by the hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands and throw away on a whim—that she had killed six people and earned a lifetime of trauma.
"I am......."
"Um, customer. We're past closing time......."
Ahn Se-rin flinched, startled by the sudden voice.
Had that much time already passed?
Just how many hours had she been sitting here?
"My apologies. I'll leave right away."
She walked out and got into her car.
As she drove, Ahn Se-rin was thinking.
About the last method left to her.
-
August 8th (Wed), 3:11 PM
In front of the men's dormitory
The day's duties were over, and free time lay ahead.
At this hour, Hye-yong either crafted holy relics or simply snacked and lazed about—one or the other.
If something special came up, he handled that instead.
"Excuse me......."
Today was no different; he'd returned to the dorm, and just as he was about to step through the main entrance to head to his bed and figure out what to do, a voice called out to stop him.
'That voice.'
It was unmistakably Ahn Se-rin.
Hye-yong registered that and turned to look beside him.
A figure wearing glasses and a hoodie pulled down low entered his vision.
'Went as far as a disguise so no one would recognize her, huh.'
He'd figured she would come looking for him eventually.
He just hadn't expected it to be the very next day.
'Must've had a fair bit of emotional turmoil, right?'
Well, fine. He could at least hear her out.
Of course, even that conversation wasn't going to be pleasant.
Hye-yong stoked his inner malice.
"Hello......."
Ahn Se-rin, apparently at a complete loss for what else to say upon meeting him, asked after his well-being.
From Hye-yong's perspective, it drew a hollow laugh.
Just how little did she have to say to end up like that?
'An Acting Skill buff would be handy when I'm tormenting her.'
Hye-yong roughly grabbed a level 6 Acting Skill buff and cast it on himself.
Ahn Se-rin was detestable, sure, but not to the degree that she was abhorrent or unbearable to look at.
So he needed the Acting Skill buff to convincingly perform disgust toward her.
"Are we on greeting-each-other terms? You didn't ask that hoping for a 'nice to see you,' did you?"
"......."
"If I had to put it a certain way, no, I'm not doing well. Seeing you killed my mood."
"I'm sorry."
"If you know you're sorry, get lost. Don't let me see you."
He said it coldly and turned sharply away.
Which, at this point, meant she'd frantically stop him.
"J-just a moment...... please wait......."
As expected.
Ahn Se-rin stopped him, jittering with anxiety.
And he, graciously, stopped.
"Why do you keep bothering me?"
"I'm sorry. Truly, I'm sorry... Just once more... could you not grant me a conversation?"
A hesitant way of speaking, a voice brimming with unease.
Even the shadowed face beneath her pulled-down hood conveyed an expression laden with worry—what if he refuses?
Fine. No reason not to hear her out.
"Why should I?"
Still, putting up a bit of resistance to keep her as anxious as possible was essential.
"Talking with you was a horrific experience in and of itself. A woman who supposedly came to apologize, and the moment I lightly prodded her as if she'd laid some kind of trap, she immediately started with threats. What? Do something to my family and friends? After hearing that, you think I'd want to have another conversation with you? Try using your head a little."
Every single word struck exactly home, and Ahn Se-rin unconsciously averted her gaze.
"I have... no excuse."
"Yeah, if you have no excuse, get lost. I've got nothing to talk about with you."
"Uh, euh......."
As he said that and turned back around, Ahn Se-rin grabbed his arm.
"Uhm......!"
Hye-yong roughly shook her off and put on an angry act.
"What the hell are you doing? I told you to get the hell out of my sight, right now."
"Please, I beg of you. Only this time, a genuine apology... Please, just grant me one chance to talk."
"I've got no intention of accepting an apology from you. Maybe if it were that young lady herself doing it, but otherwise no."
"......Kh!"
The moment Yoon Eun-ha was mentioned, Ahn Se-rin's face—which had maintained a sad, groveling expression—twisted slightly into a frown.
But it soon returned to its original abject look.
"Even if you won't accept it, that's fine... Just the talk, please at least hear what I have to say......."
Really, was this the same Ahn Se-rin who'd acted so nauseatingly arrogant the first time they met?
Completely meek and docile now... This was exactly why people said you needed power to get things done.
Looking at Se-rin with a trace of pity, Hye-yong nonetheless thought it served her right.
"What's that about?"
"Looks like a breakup or something, just from the look of it."
Having lingered at the dormitory entrance too long, they were starting to draw stares.
Two guys who'd been gossiping while glancing at Hye-yong and Se-rin headed inside the dorm.
At this point, he decided he'd hear her out.
"Well, if that's the case, I suppose I can at least listen."
"Thank you... I've prepared a vehicle; this way......."
"No, we're going to my room."
Ahn Se-rin flinched, startled.
"Your dormitory... room, you mean?"
"Yeah. You object?"
"I've prepared a space......."
"And I'm supposed to trust you enough to just trot along after you? For all I know, you're luring me somewhere to bury me. Who's to say? A grudge like yours is plenty of reason. You even threatened to bury my family too, remember?"
"No, it's not like that... not at all... As for your family members, what I meant wasn't......."
Desperately trying to explain herself, Ahn Se-rin soon gave up on everything and let out a sigh.
"Haah... Understood......."
To a dormitory room—a men's dormitory room, at that.
Alone with the man she loathed most in the world.......
For Ahn Se-rin, there was nothing more horrifying than this.
But she had to endure it.
The moment she gave up and said she couldn't, even her last chance would vanish.
"Follow me."
Ahn Se-rin obediently trailed after Hye-yong.
And so, Hye-yong's room.
Hye-yong sat himself down on his bed with an air of arrogant confidence.
Ahn Se-rin walked over and stood before him.
Like a criminal before a judge, Ahn Se-rin stood motionless, hands clasped, gaze cast downward, as still as death.
Hye-yong was the first to break the silence.
"Go on, say what you came here to say."
At that, Se-rin removed her glasses and tucked them into a pocket, then took off her hoodie and folded it neatly to the side before taking a small, deep breath.
Then, dressed in her uniform, she bowed ninety degrees to Hye-yong.
"I was impertinent. I was a fool. Though I have nothing to my name, I believed myself to possess power, and I dared to utter absurd nonsense in an attempt to threaten you, Choi Hye-yong-nim. Every threatening word and action I directed toward you, Choi Hye-yong-nim, was made with no actual intent to carry out, and I lacked even the ability to do so. All of it stemmed from my own stupidity. I wish to somehow apologize to you, Choi Hye-yong-nim, who suffered great psychological harm due to my thoughtless words and conduct. I am truly sorry. Though I am shameless, please, I beg of you—show your generous magnanimity and forgive me......."
From Se-rin's apology, Hye-yong could tell she had utterly abandoned her pride.
Yet there were also quite a few parts that didn't ring like a true apology.
'Any human being instinctively wants to defend themselves.'
He understood it, but that didn't mean he accepted it.
Hye-yong let out a pointed scoff.
Every little action like this was carried out naturally, receiving the level correction from his Acting Skill.
"You didn't make that apology thinking I'd actually accept it, did you? Why do I keep getting the feeling you're still looking for an escape route? Defending yourself—that doesn't sound like something you're saying for my benefit......."
Ahn Se-rin flinched.
"That's not it. This is an apology to somehow earn your forgiveness, Choi Hye-yong-nim...."
The more she did that, the tighter Hye-yong squeezed her.
"'I had no actual intent to carry out the threats, and I lacked the ability to do so'... Is that kind of talk really necessary in an apology? Same goes for you saying you acted alone and arbitrarily. It sounds exactly like you're saying it for the benefit of someone not here. Though I suppose right now, that someone's a machine."
At the word 'machine,' Ahn Se-rin's bowed head snapped up, and she denied it vehemently.
"No. I absolutely did not bring anything like what you're imagining. The only machine I possess is a single terminal. Please believe me......."
"You know it's laughable yourself, right? Asking me to believe you."
"......."
As if she had nothing to say, Ahn Se-rin closed her mouth.
"Maybe if you let me confirm with my own eyes that there's nothing anywhere, but without that......."
"What......."
"You understood, didn't you?"
Grrnk-
The sound of Ahn Se-rin grinding her teeth could be heard.
"Well, if you don't want to, don't. Just turn around, open my door, and walk out."
Hye-yong already knew she couldn't do that.
No matter how immature her thinking might be, she'd have more or less realized that a search was part of this.
The fact that she'd thrown her pride away to come this far meant Ahn Se-rin had come prepared for everything.
Hye-yong could see that she was incapable of walking out.
"You pulled a stunt like that, and now you expect me to hear you out without even doing the basics? Have you no conscience? Isn't making sure we can actually talk in peace the first priority? If you can't show me, then leave. Right now."
The corners of Ahn Se-rin's eyes trembled faintly.
Then she squeezed them tightly shut.
'Endure it, bear with it, Ahn Se-rin. That's how you survive. Do as you're told. As you're told... Just like you've always lived until now, like that... you have to survive.......'
Her hands slowly moved toward the buttons of her uniform blouse.