Chapter 305: Anxiety (4)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 305: Anxiety (4)
A marriage for show.
A body breaking down.
And even the insanity of the woman he'd hoped would be his ally.
As time went on, hope faded while despair grew ever more apparent.
The frantic kicking beneath the surface slowly ceased, and the hands that had thrashed above his head, desperate to escape the mire, fell limp.
That was the kind of man he was.
A weak man who had never lived with any intensity, who didn't even know how to fight until the bitter end.
It was a lesson that not even the vitality of a powerful body could teach him.
“Still… it’s not the absolute worst-case scenario.”
The path he chose after giving up the struggle was self-consolation.
He ignored the terrible reality suffocating him, scraping together what few crumbs of comfort he could find to soothe his weary soul.
“I have more money than in my original body, and even if I can’t be a Hunter, it doesn’t really get in the way of a normal life…”
It was his daily ritual, back in the corner of his cramped room.
To firmly ignore the cold reality, to comfort himself with fantasies bordering on delusion, and to lock himself away ever deeper.
But this time was an exception.
“Fuck…”
But even gathering far more substantial crumbs than before brought him no comfort.
Instead, it only caused a deeper anger to fester in his heart.
Why the hell?
Why wasn’t it working?
“Ah…”
It didn’t take long to find the answer.
“Because I’m a fucking idiot.”
Because all this despair stemmed from his own stupidity.
Until now, all his self-consolation had been possible because he could blame others, not himself.
But this time… even he couldn’t blame anyone else.
“I… I did such a stupid thing…”
If only I had been a little more careful.
If only I’d considered if there was a better way, instead of just going with the first idea that came to me.
If I had, I wouldn’t have thrown away the opportunity of a lifetime like this.
No, the things I only imagined in the corner of my room might have actually happened.
“Khahaha…!”
Thinking about it just made him laugh.
How much must Son Si-woo, the one who got his body, be laughing at him?
‘Is he cursing me out, calling me a stupid bastard?’
Maybe he was more grateful than angry.
After all, I gave him a young body with endless potential in exchange for a failing, old one.
After a cycle of laughing and crying, he finally gave up.
“Alright, enough…”
What was the point of clinging to a problem with no answer?
Closing off even the slightest possibility that might have existed, he resigned himself to his life.
No, he tried to resign himself.
The daily routine repeated: go to work, hole up in the guild leader’s office and push work onto others, then go home.
Of course, not every day was exactly the same.
He tried to change.
If he was going to think of this body as his own, he couldn’t just stay alone forever, could he?
So he tried to somehow build relationships with the people he saw often, but…
“Excuse me… Secretary Im? Shall we have lunch together…?”
“I’m sorry, Guild Leader. I have a prior engagement.”
“Ah, well, can’t be helped then. Haha!”
He, who had only ever been cooped up in the corner of his room, didn’t know.
How to approach people.
What to talk about, or how to carry a conversation.
It might have been different if they were strangers.
But the people he was trying to befriend were ones who had been close to the original owner of this body.
That, in fact, made it even harder and more difficult.
“Haaah.”
Even after a considerable amount of time had passed, he was still alone.
Suddenly, he thought of the past.
The landlady who had gladly taken him in when he’d run away from the orphanage with nowhere else to go.
She, who came every week to refill his side dishes, would sometimes say to him.
-Do-jin… you’re twenty now, why don’t you go out and try working for a few hours?
-Work isn’t just about making money. When you meet and talk with different people, you develop social skills, and your thoughts and heart deepen.
-If you do, I think you’ll become a much healthier and more wonderful person, Do-jin…
Back then, he’d hated hearing those words.
What would change just from working a part-time job for a few hours? And what did she mean, ‘more wonderful’?
‘I just thought she wanted me to earn money so she could charge more rent.’
The ajumma who had been collecting a negligible amount of rent for years was finally trying to squeeze more money out of me.
That’s what he’d foolishly thought back then.
But now he knew.
“Those words were truly for my own good…”
That she had genuinely cared for him like her own son, and her words came from that place.
That she had wanted him to go outside, beyond the confines of his tiny room, to see and learn many things.
That in a life where he thought he was completely alone, she was the only one who had shown him genuine interest.
He only realized it now, after coming too far to ever go back.
“I want to eat the food the ajumma made.”
Maybe it was just nostalgia.
The side dishes she made seemed more delicious than the food he ate now.
“Hah… fuck.”
A surge of jealousy.
“That bastard can eat her food whenever he wants.”
He now desperately longed for the things he had once taken for granted and dismissed as trivial.
These thoughts continued in the car on his way home from work.
‘Can’t I go back…?’
He was now revisiting the very problem he had already concluded was hopeless and given up on.
‘If only I could go back, I’d really do anything.’
As he stared blankly out the window with these futile thoughts, he suddenly realized something was wrong.
‘This… isn’t the way home, is it?’
He knew well, having traveled it many times, what the scenery on the way home looked like.
But the view outside now was clearly different from the road home.
Feeling puzzled, he asked the driver.
“Driver? I don’t think this is the way home.”
“……”
The driver didn’t answer.
He just silently gripped the steering wheel and continued to drive.
Frustrated, he leaned forward to check on the driver’s condition.
“Hey, driver…?!”
The moment he met the driver’s eyes, which he couldn’t see from the back seat, Son Si-woo recoiled in shock.
‘H-his irises… they’re gone.’
The driver’s eyes were filled only with whites, shot through with thin blood vessels.
In that moment, a dormant memory surfaced in his mind.
‘Mind control…!’
One’s eyes changed like that when affected by certain drugs or magic that manipulated the mind.
In other words, didn’t this mean the driver was currently being mind-controlled by someone?
‘By who?!’
It was enough to make him go crazy, but it seemed finding an answer would be difficult.
Unfortunately, the world was full of people who would target Son Si-woo.
‘Ugh… what do I do? Should I just throw open the door and jump out?’
With this strong body, I should be fine even if I fall from a moving car, right?
Thinking so, he yanked the door open with all his might, but.
Thunk!
As if blocked by something, the door wouldn’t even open.
“Knghhh…!”
He even tried to rip it off with all his strength, but the car door didn’t budge in the slightest.
It seemed not only the driver but the entire car was in the enemy’s grasp.
The death creeping up from his feet had now reached his chest.
‘N-no. I don’t want to die like this.’
While he trembled in fear, the car calmly exited the secluded road and stopped in a certain place.
A quiet neighborhood where not even the chirping of insects could be heard.
A lone, shabby cathedral stood there.
‘Wh-where is this…?’
While he was looking around outside through the window, the driver, who had been motionless while gripping the wheel, opened his mouth.
“Get out. They are waiting for you inside.”
“Wh-who is?”
“……”
As if he’d said all he needed to, the driver shut his mouth and stared straight ahead.
Having no other choice, Son Si-woo opened the car door, got out, and headed toward the cathedral standing a short distance away.
The closer he got, the more he felt a sinister aura.
Pushing the door open while embracing his fear, what he saw was the interior of an ordinary cathedral.
Long pews for the worshippers, stained glass windows casting brilliant, multicolored light.
The only difference, perhaps, was that in the deepest part of the cathedral, instead of the Virgin Mary, stood a statue of a man in a hood with his arms spread wide.
And below it.
“Welcome, Hunter Son Si-woo.”
A middle-aged man in a black priest’s robe greeted him with a benevolent smile.
This must be the person the driver had said was waiting for him.
Taking nervous steps into the cathedral, he asked.
“Are you the one who called me here?”
The man nodded readily.
“Yes, that’s right.”
The man came down from the low dais, walked up to Son Si-woo, and bowed his head lightly.
“A pleasure to meet you. I am Jung-won, the priest who manages this cathedral.”
“……”
Son Si-woo’s gaze shifted to the large statue looming above the man’s head.
A statue of a kind he had never seen before.
Nine times out of ten, this was a place that worshipped a god deemed heretical by the church.
His tension rising, Son Si-woo feigned composure and asked.
“What is the reason you brought me here?”
To this, the middle-aged priest, Jung-won, replied with a smile.
“The permanent damage to your mana circuit that you’re suffering from, Hunter Son Si-woo… we can heal it.”
“……!”
Hearing his answer, Son Si-woo’s eyes widened as if they would tear.
The damage to his mana circuit was a secret known only to Son Si-woo, not even his family.
How did this priest before him know about it, and how could he be so confident he could fix mana circuit damage that was deemed incurable even by the Saintess’s power?
As he stared with suspicious eyes, Jung-won continued.
“It’s understandable to be suspicious. Damage to a mana circuit is an injury that modern medicine can never heal.”
“But you people can heal it?”
“That’s right.”
An answer without a hint of hesitation.
At this, Son Si-woo’s resolve began to waver.
He thought it was impossible, but if it were possible, how wonderful would that be?
‘If I could just fix this failing body…’
Wouldn’t the chances of swapping bodies again with the man living in his body increase, even if just a little?
He clumsily hid his inner thoughts and asked again.
“…What do you want from me?”
They couldn’t have approached him just to heal him.
As is typical for such sinister people, they must have thrown out this bait because there was something they wanted.
As if he had been waiting for that question, Jung-won’s smile deepened as he answered.
“Become an Apostle of the god we serve. If you do, you will also gain the power to heal your damaged mana circuit, Hunter Son Si-woo.”
“……”
An Apostle.
One who becomes the hands and feet of a god, spreading their will far and wide.
They didn’t want a huge donation or a half-hearted follower, but for him to enter the very heart of a group that worshipped a heretical god.
‘An apostle of a heretical god.’
His first feeling was revulsion.
Because the fate of heretics he’d seen in movies and comics was always miserable.
But he couldn’t just refuse.
If the god he served truly possessed the power to heal a damaged mana circuit… that was the only path that could increase, even slightly, his chances of returning to his own body.
Right then.
The rationalization he so often practiced in the corner of his room began.
‘Right. My goal is to return to my original body anyway, isn’t it?’
Since his goal was to escape this body, what did it matter if he became a follower or an apostle of a heretical god?
In the end, wouldn’t cleaning up the mess be the job of the real Son Si-woo, once he got his body back?
His heart feeling much lighter, he asked.
“What is the name of the god you serve?”
The smile on Jung-won’s lips grew deeper and, at the same time, twisted.
Asking for the name meant he had a great deal of interest.
Which meant his heart was slowly coming over to their side.
“Invidia.”
He forced his twisted smile back into his usual benevolent expression and continued.
“That is the name of the god you will serve from now on.”