Resignation
The twilight after sunset had settled in.
Bayorn territory was quite wealthy for a viscounty, and so the evening meal had been laid out in lavish fashion. Soft butter bread that seemed ready to melt on the tongue, lamb drizzled with a thick sauce, an assortment of yogurts and cheeses meant to be spread upon the food — pair any of these delectable offerings with Bayorn's specialty, tangerine honey wine, and happiness would not have been such a difficult thing to grasp.
"Since Mother herself brewed this wine, it is all the more special. I shall drink it with gratitude."
"……"
But the only one feeling such happiness was Kael. True to his barbarian nature, he was effortlessly demolishing a massive quantity of food.
Fortunately, he cast no flirtatious glances at Darin during the meal. He seemed so moved by the wine his mother had made for him that he was entirely absorbed in his emotion. Still, he could not withdraw his attention completely — every so often those persistent stares found their way to her. Darin found her son's gaze so burdensome that she could barely digest a thing, and so she made do with a single bowl of soup for her evening meal.
I'm such a hopeless woman.
Seeing her son's smile as he delighted in the wine she had made herself felt good — and yet she was also sickened by the fact that even in this situation, she still held tender feelings for him.
After finishing her meal, Darin exchanged brief greetings with the servants and returned to the Viscountess's private chambers. From the household staff she had learned that Alred had gone out on the young lord's orders.
Of course he had. Darin shuddered at her son's obsessiveness even as she shook her head. There seemed little point in getting angry anymore.
— Click.
After a brief rest, Darin sat before the mirror and began to adorn her face. She was not attempting any grand makeover. A thin layer of slime gloss smoothed across her lips, a touch of light blush. Finally she slowly smoothed down her tousled vermilion hair, mimicking the neat appearance of a proper lady.
She could have asked for help from Emma and the other maids, but unless it was a special occasion, Darin usually did her own toilette. And besides, asking the household staff to help the lady of the house with her grooming at an hour when everyone ought to be asleep would look strange. The servants would surely cast puzzled glances — all the more so if the Viscount of Bayorn, her husband, was away.
Having finished her simple preparations, the Viscountess looked at her face in the mirror.
It's true… I look so different from other women my age…
Reflected there was the face of a girl who had not lost her beauty no matter how many years had passed. The servants, the vassals, and even her husband treated Darin like a young girl — because neither her appearance nor her personality had changed, no matter how much time went by.
Her husband, the Viscount of Bayorn, simply found his wife peculiar. Somehow, the older she grew, the younger she seemed to become. Darin had always dismissed her husband's frequent remarks as mere lovesickness, never taking them seriously. At least until she attended this victory ceremony.
"……"
But examining her reflection from every angle for the first time in decades, even objectively, she looked like nothing more than a girl in her mid-to-late teens.
"Damn it…"
Her red lips parted as she muttered under her breath. The Viscountess who had always spoken and thought only beautiful things now seemed so distressed that curses rose to the tip of her tongue.
She considered striking her own face as she had done earlier in front of her son, then gently lowered her trembling hand. She was afraid Kael would fly into a rage, demanding to know what she thought she was doing.
When she had slapped her own cheek earlier, Kael had shot her a look of displeasure — not because he was upset at being hit, but because he hated seeing the hand of the woman he adored swell up.
Kael clearly wanted to own her from head to toe. The plump lips, the tiny hands, and even the amber eyes reflected in the mirror — none of them were hers anymore.
"Hahaha…"
A woman who had fallen from noble Viscountess to her own son's possession…
Who was that pitiful, pathetic girl? Ah — it was her. And with no escape in sight, what was she supposed to do?
Darin mulled over the words her son had spoken behind the warehouse.
If you feel so inclined, would you do even a simple bit of grooming for me? I'd like to experience, just once, the feeling of "the woman I love dressing up for me."
I've left some thin gruel on the table. It's not an aphrodisiac — simply a contraceptive. There are no side effects whatsoever, so take it as you wish.
And finally.
Do not wash yourself today. Under any circumstances.
"…Crazy bitch."
Darin spat the curse not at her son, but at her own face in the mirror. She hated this spineless, worthless woman more than the son who lusted after her.
Dressing up to please her son. Taking contraceptives so she could receive her son's lovemaking. Deliberately not washing so she could seduce her son with her scent. All of it felt like a series of preparations by a bitch in heat trying to lure a male.
If only that male had been her husband, she wouldn't even complain.
"…Hic!"
Darin clenched her teeth and fought back the tears welling up. Lately, tears seemed to come for no reason at all. What was so sad that a woman who had borne two children should cry so disgracefully?
Just accept it. Just accept it! She didn't want to go mad after coming this far. How hard had she endured for her children's sake? Over something as trivial as this…
Though her son had half-forced these proposals on her, in the end it was she who had agreed out of fear of retaliation. Darin felt a rising self-loathing — was she really a woman who crumbled so easily?
But when the son she had cherished most of all was cornering her like this, it was only natural that a mother would struggle to keep her sanity.
But… I'm scared…
Just now, for the first time, Darin had faced a version of her son who showed no consideration whatsoever. Before the son who had become a complete beast, she couldn't even hold out for a few dozen seconds. And she realized once again: Kael was a monster who, in ordinary times, was holding back an enormous greed.
If she simply kept ignoring her son's desires, she might end up having to consummate things in the central hall where the servants came and went. This was no delusion — it was a reality she had instinctively felt looking into those beast-like, yearning eyes fixed on her.
She had never felt this kind of oppressive force and obsessiveness even from her own husband. Now Darin found her son more terrifying and dreadful than lovable and cute. And yet her love for him did not diminish, which made it maddeningly painful.
Simply waiting vaguely for time to pass didn't seem like the answer either. What would improve if tomorrow came, or the day after? Even if her husband returned. Even if her second child, Piel, returned. How could she possibly tell her family about this filthy, incestuous outrage with her own mouth?
So should she just give in and accept her son without a care? That made no sense either. That would be a complete betrayal of her husband and daughter. Just as she had been wounded by her son, she would end up wounding her family as well.
What am I supposed to do, what am I supposed to do, what… Aaaah!!!
As the woman sat at her vanity, stamping her feet and revisiting her torment over and over—
"……"
A silence so complete it was suffocating settled in. All the servants must have withdrawn.
Darin, drained in every way, still resisted the encroaching terror. And she urgently resolved once more.
Her son seemed very angry today, so she would simply accept him. He wouldn't listen to anything she said anyway. Starting tomorrow, she would rest a little. And over the course of several nights, she would somehow persuade her son.
And if even that persuasion failed, then…
"Mother."
Darin convulsed at the heavy voice and whipped her head around. She hadn't even heard the window open, yet he was already right in front of her. For someone with a mountain-like build, his skill at erasing his presence was extraordinary.
Kael gazed blankly at the woman whose eyes were blinking in startled surprise. Looking at him, he almost resembled a foolish boy bewitched by a seductress. The figure of his unrequited love — dressed in a thin red negligee, lightly made up — was so alluring he would have sold a country to possess her.
"You are so beautiful."
The man, wearing an entranced expression, whispered in a heated voice. Within it was the desperate intensity of finally holding a treasure he had longed for so long. His eyes, always as cold as the deep sea, now held a light of admiration and had softened.
Darin met her son's gaze with dazed eyes. What on earth was she, that he should look at her with such yearning? And today's grooming, compared to what other young ladies did for a date, wasn't even a drop in the bucket.
And then she felt sorrowful. Her son was such an easy man for the woman he loved — so why did that woman have to be her?
The white-haired man slowly approached his mother. His gaze was fixed precisely on the girl's lips. The lips that sparkled like jewels in the moonlight looked moist enough to accept anything.
"You've put on lipstick."
At the warmth of her son's lower lip gently pressing against hers, filled with affection, Darin's cheeks flushed.
"…Do you like it that much?"
At the mother's question, which she had hesitated over many times before managing to utter, Kael's eyes went round. And before long, the man smiled brightly and answered with complete sincerity.
"Yes. More than anything else in this world."
This was not simply praise for the woman's appearance. That a woman who found grooming bothersome had forced herself to put on makeup for him — it meant that Mother's kindness in considering his feelings was so very beautiful.
How could Darin, as his mother, fail to understand her son's feelings? Here and there on the beast's face, the boy from his childhood flickered into view. Darin felt her heart gradually weakening.
"……"
Darin blinked once more and looked at her son. She wanted to trace even a little more of the young boy's footprints that appeared from time to time. Yes — the image of that tiny angel she had fallen in love with as her first love.
"The only thing that fills this man's heart is you, Mother."
The man's confession — earnest and, on another level, tiresome — settled upon the woman's ear.
"So I hope that Mother's insides will also be filled with me."
It was a dual meaning. But since he was saying it in the bedroom, it was probably the lewd one. The erection that had been rising since morning looked ready to burst — it was almost pitiful at this point.
Darin flushed and lowered her head. It was a signal that she would empty her mind and accept him. If her son was suffering from lovesickness, then a mother should relieve even that.
The woman who had lost all chance of choice set aside right and wrong for just a moment. Resisting now would only make things more painful for everyone. For her. And for her son as well.
Rustle — the man pushed aside the woman's negligee and pressed her thighs open. Darin convulsed, but she did not resist.
Her pale thighs parted, and beneath a shallow thicket, the pink flesh that looked as pure as a virgin's opened wetly.
The man buried his face in that place that exuded the woman's musky scent.
"I will love only you forever."
Darin looked at her son who was plunging a dagger into her heart, and clasped his large hand.
And slowly, slowly, she closed her eyes.
And wrapped her legs around the beast's waist.