Chapter 33
Chapter 33
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 33
Chapter Title: Deworming
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Today, as always, the morning sun rose without fail, shining on the brick house. At that very moment, I snapped awake, eyes wide open, as if I'd forgotten some important appointment.
⚙ SD CHARACTER ⚙ Good morning! Alright, today let's go all out on the cock-jerking and head off to drain that sow bitch dry! "...Are you watching me?"
I've felt it for a while now. Ever since that message window first popped up ten years ago, there's been this subtle sense that someone's gaze is on me.
Back then, I just chalked it up to late-blooming chuunibyou delusions and dismissed it as my imagination. But seeing this thing greet me the moment I opened my eyes today made me suspicious enough to ask.
⚙ SD CHARACTER ⚙ Eh? Ah... N-no? I don't know anything about that! The moment you clocked out last night, I went straight home, stretched out my legs, and crashed! I absolutely have no idea about you fiddling with your cock in the bathroom while muttering, "Whoa, a woman's pussy..." For real! "..."
Yeah, better not to engage.
I desperately ignored the SD Character pulling a desperately stern, dignified face while insisting "That's not true!" and scarfed down some breakfast before heading outside.
⚙ SD CHARACTER ⚙ Where are you going? "Where does a pig herder have to go?"
⚙ SD CHARACTER ⚙ Aha... Even if you say that, you're off to take care of that rock-hard morning wood, right? I see everything! I can fully analyze your filthy sexual desires in 43 hours flat! 43 hours? Don't people usually say 24 or 48? What takes 19 extra hours past 24?
⚙ SD CHARACTER ⚙ Ahem! Sure, normally it'd be 24 hours, but... I have to observe, analyze, and study all those lewd comics and videos you've seen, then cr- ahem! Run the stats! And that's not all! Gotta eat breakfast, lunch, dinner, take tea breaks in between, and... "That's just the 19 hours you wasted slacking off!"
More than that, the way it phrased it... it sounded like it dug through every memory of mine, even the forgotten ones.
⚙ SD CHARACTER ⚙ Ack! Anyway, Breeder! Quick, training! Let's do the training! "...You'll pay for this later."
Mulling over how to get revenge on this cheeky little shit someday, I opened the door to the pigsty.
"..."
"Hm, you don't look so good."
And right there before my eyes was the platinum-blonde sow Eleonora, plainly radiating "I feel off somehow."
It was morning, so I'd flung open the pigsty door wide for ventilation and thrown open every window inside, but she still wore that exhausted expression.
"Did something happen overnight... or rather, looks like you had a rough night?"
"..."
"Yeah, what happened last night? Itchy the whole time?"
"You think I'd tell you?"
Obviously, the irritation and itching from her clothed areas was secondary. She'd probably spent the night lost in a masturbation frenzy from the stimulation in her pussy.
⚙ SD CHARACTER ⚙ But... you've deflowered her virgin pussy, pierced her clitoris... Now if you just pierce those nipples too and chain the piercings together with some links... Tempting idea, but I ignored it. What I had to do next wasn't about commands or force.
"Strip."
"..."
⚙ SD CHARACTER ⚙ What was that about no commands or force just now...? Eleonora stared at me in disbelief at my sudden order to undress. She was already in a foul mood, and now the guy she couldn't stand was crawling in demanding she strip—natural reaction.
"This isn't for sex. It's purely medical—to check if there's anything wrong with your body."
"A real humanitarian, huh? The one who mangled my clitoris and stole my virginity? What a saint we have here."
We hadn't known each other long, but I could tell. Eleonora was genuinely pissed. If it was just her hating my guts, she'd have shot back something like, "You want me to remove this armor, equal to a knight's honor?!" But this was closer to a sarcastic sigh.
She was even blatantly showing off her erect clitoris bulging through her leggings, proof she'd been mentally worn down by whatever happened last night.
"Looks even bigger than before, though?"
"...Shut up. I don't need your help. Just leave."
Look at her. Still got some fight left.
Well, it's only day three, and the symptoms will ramp up gradually. What can you do?
"How about I change that straw at least? Maybe some mites or ticks are making you itch."
"I already checked all that!"
Oh, really?
"Strip anyway."
"...Are you deaf?!"
"Not all of it—just the leggings. I'm giving you medicine."
No sooner had I finished than Eleonora flushed red, as if recalling the suppository fiasco, and subtly covered her ass as she spoke.
"Medicine? Now you're openly using aphrodisiacs on me for your dirty..."
"It's dewormer, so take off the leggings!"
⚙ SD CHARACTER ⚙ Oooooh! Finally! Finally, the time has come for that thing I gave you to shine! "Dewormer?"
Eleonora tilted her head like she'd never heard the term. I wasn't a pharmacist, so I didn't know its history, but in a medieval civilization with active knights, it was probably unfamiliar.
Even in our advanced nation, up to the 1960s, half the population was infested with parasites.
"Yeah, dewormer. To kill the parasites in your body. So stick out your ass already."
"Parasites...? I've never had bugs like that in my life..."
"Sure, but everyone feels it once in their life. Like your asshole pussy itching weirdly..."
"Eek?!"
Her face flashed with panic the moment I said it, turning beet red beyond anything before.
"H-how did you know?! Have you been messing with me since then?!"
"...If I had, I'd be a real scumbag, right?"
Of course, we humans pick up parasites from soil, wood, veggies—stuff that touches our skin or we eat.
Modern humanity's wiped them out mostly, but this bitch right here.
This honorable medieval knight lady. What's the chance a Grand Master gets parasites? But her reaction screamed she'd experienced exactly those symptoms before.
⚙ SD CHARACTER ⚙ Hm, Grand Masters are pretty much immune to diseases, but parasites? Not sure. And what's itchy asshole pussy got to do with parasites...? There's only a few reasons for abnormal anal itching.
Not wiping properly after shitting,
Pinworms or roundworms,
Or hemorrhoids.
"You've probably dodged most diseases as a Grand Master, but parasites could still be there. Better prevent it now."
"P-prevention...? Me, done in by mere bugs?!"
"Listen. Even birds of prey soaring the skies, lions, tigers, all beasts that rip vermin apart—they're crawling with parasites inside. If they can't escape the little bastards, you think you're immune?"
Eleonora's eyes wavered. Makes sense. She saw me apply that ointment to her circumcised clitoral hood, and fresh skin sprouted right away.
Naturally, she figured I knew my pharmacology.
"B-but... showing my ass for bugs?!"
"You said you ate wild boar before coming here. High chance of parasites. Hookworms, aka pork tapeworms—the intermediate host is pigs. Final host: humans. Most wild critters carry 'em, so odds are low you're clean."
If she weren't a Grand Master, it'd be a sure thing. Those novel types slay dragons, so parasites? Nah.
"A knight's honor only matters if you're alive to uphold it. Dying to parasites before escaping? Smart plan."
"That's why bugs like that are nothing to me!"
...No helping it.
Time to use fear of the unknown—persuasion disguised as threat.
"Fine. Your funeral..."
"Hmph, yeah... trying to toy with my asshole—er, anus—with some ridiculous bug excuse..."
"Fail to remove it, and those parasites might chew through your guts like rats."
Crash!
Something flashed blindingly before my eyes,
"Gr... grrr..."
"Huh?"
Eleonora had closed the distance in an instant, grinding her teeth in fury, glaring right in my face.