Chapter 121
Chapter 121
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 121
Chapter Title: Crap Game
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Somewhere, a BGM I'd heard many times before started playing. Any fan who'd watched the cartoon Pocket Monsters on TV as a kid, or anyone who'd played the game it was based on, would recognize that distinctive tune instantly.
I couldn't believe it, so I tried to brush it off, but soon a light of the same wavelength as the one that had enveloped me and Eleonora earlier began forming a rectangular barrier around us, like a tennis court.
And finally, that oh-so-familiar interface appeared.
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ The Holy Knights serving the Goddess have challenged you to a duel! "Well now?"
I clicked my tongue in disbelief, and the SD Character shyly tossed the yellow rat plushie she'd been hugging onto the Nobel-chan doll scattered on the floor before speaking.
[I've been checking out some media lately with characters from those trendy bread illustrations... hehe...]
So that's why she hadn't shown her face for the past few days—she'd been playing games? While I was worrying she might be plotting something or had run into trouble,
she'd been chilling out with games?!
It was enough to make my blood boil.
"Wu-boob?!"
-That bastard! -Do you even know who that is?! "Like I give a shit."
Even more pissed off for no reason, I grabbed the back of Eleonora's head—who was sucking away at my cock, begging for semen—and shoved it down hard onto my shaft while scanning the interface the SD Character had slapped together.
Attack Skills Observe Item It was a blatant rip-off, of course, but since she'd only been exposed to it for a few days, it basically mimicked the structure of the RPG games in my head—her own game's interface was downright embarrassing to even call a copy.
[Hehe! Copying it outright would cause copyright issues, so I made a custom interface just for you, Breeder—familiar, right?]
No "flee" option, but this clunky interface was definitely familiar to me, just as she said...
"And with this, what exactly am I supposed to do?"
[What else? Use that interface to take out those humans threatening your farm! Specially, no 19+ patch applied for your mental stability?]
Slurp slurp♥
Eleonora, already naked and sucking my cock, was 19+ incarnate...!
And this slut shaking her ass like she wants more is even enjoying the situation...!
"Uoooooh!! The Goddess, has spoken, it all!!!"
"Offer your hearts! She stands, before youuuu!!"
Anyway, right now, the Holy Knights in front of me were swinging their swords to break the barrier, while outside, the orcs—stimulated again by our little showdown(?), and with two fewer knights—began pressing the knights with their numerical advantage.
According to Eleonora, each was a master-class knight worth a hundred men, so losing two was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity we couldn't miss.
-Damn, we need to get out... what the?! -We can't get out! We have to help our brothers now! With the chaos outside, the two Holy Knights now completely isolated from their comrades were panicking at the shifting battlefield and their own entrapment.
Taking advantage of the Holy Knights' daze, I hurriedly tried to figure out this interface and system, starting with the Attack button.
Eleonora - 100 In most games like this, party actions start with the leader or the highest agility character on the field.
Eleonora appearing first suggested the latter was more likely.
"More importantly, what's this 100? Level? HP? Mana?"
Normally, you'd see current HP/MP stats, but there was nothing—just a plain white gauge and the number 100.
[To find out, just attack first! It's a tutorial, so dive in without worry!]
What kind of inconvenient system and operator is this?
Lives were on the line here.
Anyway, I selected the Eleonora interface and targeted a Holy Knight—the one steadily glaring at me, unlike the other struggling to escape the barrier.
"Slurp... Huh?!"
Ignoring the urgency, Eleonora—who'd been leisurely deepthroating my cock in service—suddenly widened her eyes and looked up at me.
Like a true slave seeking permission.
I nodded in approval, and she pulled her mouth off my cock, bowed politely, and said,
"I'll be right back. Even though it's Master's command, I'll take plenty of punishment later for interrupting service...♥"
She planted a smack of a kiss on my cock, snatched her greatsword, and in the blink of an eye, leaped toward the Holy Knight I'd targeted via the interface.
-Lady Eleonora?! Wai— BOOOOM—!!
Regardless of whatever the Holy Knight was saying,
"Hehe, to die to such a lewd bitch— the shame of a Holy Knight."
Eleonora shook her tits tauntingly as she swung her greatsword down at the targeted knight like a club.
His comrade, still fumbling with the barrier, rushed to defend, but it was too late.
KABOOOM—!!
From the enemy lines came overwhelming proof of violence: massive dust clouds, followed by brilliant light bursting everywhere.
The kind of effect you see when a defeated Pocket Monster returns to its ball.
[Oh! As expected of the strongest sow! One-shotting a Holy Knight! Or... is that just natural?]
"Did that kill him?"
[As I said, this has a patch for your mental health! Even you wouldn't want to see people getting pulped into bloody messes, right?]
Then why not do that last time? She let dismemberment slide! Of course, I didn't look back either, but she's seriously inconsiderate.
As the dust cleared, all that remained was Eleonora, mid-swing with her sword planted in the ground, squirting fluids with a psshhh, and one Holy Knight slumped powerlessly against the barrier.
My attack target had vanished.
"Master~!"
Eleonora glared at the fallen knight for a moment, then bounced her tits as she ran back to hug me—but something was off.
Eleonora - 40 It had dropped a lot.
It was definitely 100 before, but now it was 40.
"You don't mean..."
[Yes! A balance patch I set to stop you from rampaging in this world!]
"Haa... Master, semen, semen for this lowly sow as a reward...♥"
This was a cost system. Games usually deduct cost for skills, but Eleonora had just done a basic attack and it deducted anyway.
"What kind of crap game is this?!"
[But if not, you'd just go 'uhahaha, lead with Eleonora and capture them all!' and do something ridiculous, right?]
"..."
Damn, no comeback to that. So I'm just a pig farmer, not some world-conquering villain?
And considering my personality—if I had to do this every fight, I'd skip world conquest altogether—this was a deviously clever system.
But still, eating cost on a basic attack? Lucky the enemy was groggy from Eleonora's strike,
but if this follows game rules, wouldn't we just get exposed to enemy attacks helplessly?
When I complained, the SD Character appeared in a secretary-like suit and glasses (nearly made me hurl), tapping an empty blackboard with a stick.
[Her cost is high, but Eleonora can act twice per turn as compensation, and basic attacks hit the entire enemy field! See that!]
Looking where she pointed, sure enough, the other Holy Knight—hit by the aftershock—was groaning against the barrier.
[Originally, he'd be dead too, but it's a tutorial, so I spared him as teaching material! Still crap game!?]
"Nah, it's a god game."
Life is all about tutorials, as someone once said.
Nobel Prize worthy.
"So how do I refill the cost?"
[Check the skills tab and you'll see!]
Skills?
Eleonora said she'd rolled into knighthood after catching the princess's eye on the street, never formally trained in swordsmanship.
As the world's strongest swordswoman, every strike was lethal anyway—what skills could she have? I curiously opened her skill window.
⚡ SKILLS ⚡ Sow Swordsmanship (P) | Lewd (P) | Sow's Pride (P) | Exhibitionist (P) "All passives!?"
Crap game!
I almost yelled for active skills, but checking effects came first, so I clicked Sow Swordsmanship (P).
Sow Swordsmanship (P) Sow Eleonora consumes 60 Semen from her body to deliver a Grand Master's overwhelming destructive sword to the enemy field! Additional Effect: If attacked during sex, consume 10 Semen to counterattack! Lewd (P) As a lewd, fallen female knight, Eleonora can engage in sex anywhere! Recover 30 Semen from Breeder through intercourse! Sow's Pride (P) Lewd fallen female knight or sow knight, a knight is a knight! Immune to crowd control and status ailments from enemies! Exhibitionist (P) As a slut who exposes her naked body anywhere, flapping her pussy in heat, she draws enemy attention to her lewd body—focusing it on her pussy! What a spectacle.
But more importantly, one burning question...
"Why no HP gauge?"
[Huh? Need that too? Seemed pointless, so I skipped it. Trainers don't get attacked anyway!]
The SD Character blinked wide-eyed, as if asking what I was on about.
[Master-class swordsmen lose their heads in one hit to that sow—no one in the world can beat her with a sword. As I said, this system is to stop you from rampaging with the sow, not for actual gaming. Stop forgetting your place—you're a Breeder, not an adventurer or hunter!]
A. Si. Ge. T. Seo. Yeo?
Fair point. If it really played like a game, that downed Holy Knight wouldn't be stuck unable to help his comrade.
Even in these games, allies can't interrupt during attacks for heals or whatever.
But defense? They do whatever. Crap game is crap game.
I can only attack on my turn, but they don't seem bound by that.
Both sides defend freely, but I have to wait for turns to attack—what else is this but crap?
"Ahh... Master, semen, reward semen please. For this traitor sow Eleonora, who just cut down her old comrades from today and the past...♥"
Whatever, Eleonora was already spreading her flapping pussy wide with both hands, demanding my cock.
[Come on! Sows can't attack without semen, right? Feed her via pussy or asshole quick!]
What could I do when she puts it like that?
"Eleonora."
"Yes! Yes, Master! Mouth? Asshole?! Or pussy? My womb's already warmed up and ready for cock Master!"
"Mount up. Show me that Sow Swordsmanship or whatever."