Breeding Uncle's Evil Conspiracy - You Are My Valkyrie
You Are My Valkyrie. That's the name of this yuri game world I got isekai'd into overnight. Just from the title, you can tell it's a game set in a Valkyrie training academy, all about the heroines' hard work, friendship, and love for each other. Back in my old life, I bought it on a whim because the illustrations hooked me, but I never actually played it properly after seeing the awful reviews. Hell, I didn't even realize it was a yuri game until I read those reviews. The background was just too full of dudes for it to feel like proper yuri.
Word is, the devs stuffed in all those male background mobs and extras specifically to enable fanfic like dick insertions. Anyway, that's why there were endless complaints from suckers like me who bought it thinking it wasn't yuri, only to regret it later. A total flop.
"But to be precise, that's not why it flopped. It got great reviews on launch."
The art was top-notch, the UI was convenient, and even the yuri grinding scenes were so guilty-free you didn't feel bad binging them. For all sorts of reasons, it was a hit among niche fans at release. The game itself wasn't a flop—it got rebranded as one later because the devs shat the bed hard with the sequel.
The sequel kept the great art and convenience of the original, so again, not a flop on its own merits. What tanked it was how they handled the prequel and its heroines. The original had villains, sure, but the vibe was mostly bright. In the sequel? Suddenly it's a post-apocalypse wasteland. Heroines who nobly ground their pussies together on the side of justice? Now they're evil organization execs. And forget noble pussy-grinding—they're dick fiends strutting around naked, reverse-raping the justice heroine protagonist, or casually fucking dudes left and right. Scenes screaming "You need dick to live now!" everywhere.
Treatment of the original heroines wasn't just trash—it was downright shocking.
"Take Setsuna, for example. Does she even know how her prequel heroine self got corrupted in the sequel?"
The reviews were so bad I bought the sequel out of curiosity. As I recall, that blue-haired big-tits heroine who just grabbed my collar with eyes full of hate... yeah, Miyamoto Setsuna. In the sequel, she was definitely like:
'Put on clothes? Why? Shameless? Idiot! Walking around naked means you can shove your dick in anytime!'
She shows up with just a sword, tits and pussy on full display. When the protagonist freaks and tells her to cover up, she doubles down, flaunting her body shamelessly and calling him the fool. Or:
'Hmph, all talk after all. Well? What's your verdict on Miyamoto Setsuna's pussy? How's the taste of this slutty cunt you called me out for? Come on, cough it up—your inferior genes, shoot 'em straight into my pussy!'
After defeat, she flattens the protagonist, mounts him, and rides till he drops dead, or she and the other heroines wander naked without a hint of shame, hunting dick whenever the mood strikes.
That dogshit treatment of the prequel heroines—worse than dogs—plus shitting on fans who loved the original? That's why it got rebranded a flop.
"And the sequel's backstory is straight-up retarded. Intense yuri grinding between heroines causes global warming and rising seas, so the world 'kinda' ends?"
It's a parade of nonsense.
"Even if the Valkyries at Valkyria Academy—dreaming of becoming justice heroines—even if those superhumans ground their pussies like crazy, does that really wreck the world?"
And it's not even fully wrecked—just "kinda" wrecked. Like they wanted to parody some manga line: not totally gone, just about a third of the world bites it.
With backstory that ass-backwards, no wonder they trashed the original heroines.
As I grumbled internally, the system—uncannily perceptive as always—chimed in right away.
That's why we're pinning big hopes on you. We figured a guy who cries over polar bears losing their homes would eagerly step up as Breeding Uncle, train the heroines, and guide them to the path of true love.
"That was just a random tear... no."
I do like polar bears, but not tear-jerking levels.
She's twisting a yawn during a lazy documentary binge into some noble misunderstanding.
Plenty to nitpick, but I let it slide. Truth is, after a rough year, I've been craving some sweet fruit lately.
"Anyway, gotta report quick. Setsuna's already pissed enough to stalk me in secret."
We strongly urge prompt pussy rape of Miyamoto Setsuna.
"Hey, watch the language."
If the chance comes, sure—but not right now. Everything has its order.
So when the time comes, you'll do the pussy rape?
"If I've built it up right, yeah, it's about that time."
Looking forward to it.
Wrapping up my fun chat with the system—lately weirdly belittling me while hyping pussy rape—I knocked politely on the Student Council President's Office door that'd appeared before me.
"President, Guidance Committee Chair Kang Han-beom here. May I enter?"
-Come in.-
-President!
"Whew..."
Hearing the president's voice followed by that familiar one, I took a deep breath—worried she might rummage my bag—and turned the knob, stepping inside.
"Good morning."
"Yes, regular report?"
"..."
Greeting me inside was Brynhildr Ragnarok—silver hair, blue eyes, stunning beauty, and those massive tits—the Student Council President of Valkyria Academy.
"Here's today's list of uniform violations and latecomers."
"Mm, good work."
Today, as always, she propped her enormous tits—too big for one hand—on the desk like a stand. My face nearly slackened, but I held it together, spotting Setsuna glaring daggers from behind her. I submitted the list from the school gate.
Done...
Of course, pretending to hand it over, I slyly touched the coffee mug on the desk.
Breeding Uncle's Evil Conspiracy (Passive) activates.
My daily sneaky move—no one noticed.
Standing there brazenly, waiting for Brynhildr's response, she scanned the list, oblivious.
"Any issues? Like Support Department getting looked down on for Guidance Chair?"
"None. Thanks to your personal appointment, no one's dared."
"I see."
"Hmph, probably just waiting to slobber your tongue on the president when her guard's down."
Setsuna snorted, incredulous at my good-boy act. Lewd laughter nearly bubbled up, but Brynhildr was watching—I barely held it. Sequel sow Brynhildr aside, she's the real-deal president now: clear public/private boundaries. Time to play serious.
"Mm, no notes today. Love how you lead by example, even in a role I forced on you."
I stayed quiet. She shrugged slightly at the list, and I fought my Breeding Uncle grin, keeping the model youth face.
"You trusted me with it—might as well do it right."
"Good. I'll keep trusting you. Report received—take the list back."
"Tch, lucky bastard..."
"No, I separate work and play too."
"Eek...!!"
Brynhildr nodded, handing back the list. Setsuna, out of nitpicks, clicked her tongue. Seizing the moment, I asked:
"More importantly, President, is something bothering you? Your shoulder maybe?"
"...That obvious? Haven't slept well lately—shoulder stiffness. If even you notice, it's worse than I thought."
"That's why I asked."
"Hm?"
Breeding Uncle's Serpentine Tongue activates.
She sipped the coffee—mug I'd just touched.
Confirming, I pressed:
"If you're okay with it, could I give you that massage I learned recently?"
"Massage?"
"Yes. Support Department backs Valkyries, so conditioning stuff like this? Gotta know it."
"You! What're you scheming?! President! Don't fall for it!"
Setsuna, unsurprised, yelled no. Brynhildr nodded.
"No. Not that I distrust you—I'm swamped with paperwork. No time for massages."
Acting or real? Probably acting. Mildly annoyed but not banking on it anyway:
"Understood. But if you change your mind, call anytime."
"President will never touch your filthy hands! Out—I'll drag you!"
"Ack."
Setsuna yanked my nape triumphantly. Powerless, I got dragged like trash—right before she tossed me out:
"Wait."
"Yes?"
"Yes, um, could you step out a moment?"
"Yes! I'll chase this perv out myself!"
"No, not the Guidance Chair. Vice President Setsuna—you. Step out. On second thought, his offer sounds fine."
"P-President...?"
Setsuna panicked; I desperately hid my creeping lewd smirk.