Their Own Circumstances

It was still too early for the courtesan houses to open their doors.

Pavilion Master Okryeong gazed out over the quiet grounds of Cheonhwaru with a complicated look in her eyes.

Lately, her worries had been piling up. She had fretted endlessly when Ju Wolay was kidnapped, and her heart had dropped again when the girl returned only to shut herself away in seclusion.

So when Ju Wolay suddenly emerged from her rooms today, the Pavilion Master nearly jumped out of her skin.

"…Wolay! What on earth—are you sure it's all right for you to be out like this?"

Relief washed over her as she hurried to the girl's side, fussing over her with one question after another. After everything Wolay had endured, Okryeong had half expected her to stay locked away for a long while—or, in the worst case, to quit the life entirely.

"Yes, I'm fine. Pavilion Master… my head has never been clearer than it is right now."

Only days ago she had looked so troubled on her way back to her quarters. This was a strange turn indeed.

"It seems I did well to send Hero Dan Mujin in to see you. What on earth did the two of you talk about?"

A troubleshooter, was he? Apparently he was skilled at soothing a wounded woman's heart as well. Color returned to Okryeong's face as she leaned in, curiosity plain on her features.

"Well… put simply, I said something rather like a confession… and he turned me down flat."

"…?"

The Pavilion Master froze solid at an answer that flew utterly past her expectations. A moment later she spun on Ju Wolay, face full of disbelief.

"W-w-what did you just say? You confessed and he rejected you?"

She was so flustered that her words tangled over themselves—a far cry from her usual composure.

"Exactly that, Pavilion Master. I thought he had feelings for me, so I opened my heart… and it turned out I was wrong."

Ju Wolay pressed both palms over her flushed cheeks with a soft smack, as if the memory still embarrassed her.

Okryeong, for her part, could scarcely find her voice. The finest courtesan of Cheonhwaru—the woman who had never opened her heart no matter how many wealthy patrons or noble young masters tried to win her—had confessed first… and been refused.

"Ahh, I've never felt like this before. I wonder if this is how all those men felt when I turned them down?"

She was even empathizing with the people she herself had rejected.

"Is this true? You're not joking…? Wolay, there is a man who would actually reject you…?"

Only then did Okryeong recover enough to ask again. Ju Wolay tipped her face toward the blue sky and smiled brightly.

"Apparently there is. Hehe."

Being refused as a woman was a first for her—and yet she looked strangely light, almost liberated. Okryeong frowned, puzzled.

She had been rejected. Why did she look so happy?

"Because now I have a goal. Drive. That's why, Pavilion Master."

"What kind of goal…?"

Surely she hadn't been so wounded by the rejection that she was plotting revenge—the way that powerful man who once abducted her might have done?

"No, nothing like that… I've simply found something I want more than anything I've ever wanted before."

She turned a quiet gaze toward the quarters where she had secluded herself—the very place where Dan Mujin had refused her. At first she had nearly decided to throw everything away. Then, all at once, a fierce will to live and a clear purpose had taken root inside her.

"What in the world happened between you and that man…? Tell me everything. What did you two talk about?"

Pavilion Master Okryeong could no longer contain her curiosity.

Ju Wolay, looking as if some great weight had finally lifted, began to recount what had just taken place.

"Well, you see…"

Around the same time, I was descending the stone steps away from Cheonhwaru, trying to wrestle my rattled nerves back under control.

My steps were a little more unsteady than usual—a fair reflection of the chaos inside my head.

Hero… is it possible you don't see me only as a client, but as a woman?

Her sultry voice still lingered at my ear. Beneath the dazzling sunlight her eyes had curved into that foxlike smile said to enchant men on sight.

In that instant my breath had nearly stopped.

"Hah. No wonder men fall for her."

I leaned my back against the stone wall and let out a long, rough breath.

But I had always thought of her as a flower blooming on a cliff—beautiful, unreachable—and I had never once considered her seriously as a woman. So my ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠face must have looked pure panic.

And Ju Wolay, it seemed, was exceptionally good at reading people.

…You're not?

When my expression stayed ambiguous, her gaze wavered. Disappointment flickered across her face as she asked.

Ah… I simply assumed the Hero felt the same about me…

Her voice had grown smaller and smaller. She fiddled with the hem of her silk robe and hung her head. In that moment she looked nothing like the foremost courtesan of Beijing—just a woman who had been turned down.

And I, fixated on the words "the Hero too," had failed to comfort her properly.

She had feelings for me as well. That line had been as good as a full confession.

"Wait… does that mean Ju Wolay actually has feelings for me?"

I muttered it under my breath, staring blankly in the direction she had gone, still half in shock.

A red aura rippled irritably near my side.

Salsung was cussing me out in red letters again. Lately the brat would call me a fool over the slightest thing. The blossoming of the malevolent star still showed zero progress, so I figured she was just bored and picking fights for fun.

"When am I ever supposed to have experienced a beauty of Ju Wolay's caliber confessing to me first?"

That kind of data had never been entered into my system in my entire life. How was I supposed to spit out a polished response on cue? I had gone in simply expecting her gratitude for the rescue. I never imagined I would walk in to cheer her up and walk out having been confessed to.

Then why did you go so far for me…?

She had asked, citing every desperate thing I had done to save my client, clearly unable to make sense of it.

Why did I go so far? Was I supposed to just sit there and watch some degenerate kidnap someone I knew? For the sake of my lifespan, my internal energy, and my accumulated merit, I couldn't look the other way. And if I was being honest, I felt at least partly responsible for how things had gone wrong.

Hero… what is it about me that you find so lacking…?

She had looked dazed, clearly shaken by the rejection—yet she still held my gaze and asked for a reason.

Something lacking about her? There was no such thing. The refusal had nothing to do with her. It was entirely about my own circumstances.

Apparently Salsung was curious too, scrawling the question in red.

"Because of you, you bastard."

As I had said before—if this body ever committed murder and lost its mind, the first people to get hurt would be the ones I cared about most. So for now, light relationships were one thing. Crossing into anything truly deep was something I wanted to avoid.

I had explained that much to her.

I'm sorry. Not yet. I've got my own situation. Until I resolve it, this just isn't possible.

By then Ju Wolay had recovered somewhat from the blow of rejection. She gave me a sorrowful little smile and accepted my answer.

I… see.

Life throws you some strange moments. Who would have thought I would one day make a beauty that dazzling look so sad over something like this?

I watched her take in the heartbreak, a tangle of feelings on my face.

But people with steel in their spines find hope even in the hard times. She drew a slow breath and circled back to a single word I had used—yet.

So what you're saying is… there's a reason you can't speak of, and that's why it won't work 'yet'?

…Yeah. Something like that.

Was that optimism or what? She had found a scrap of hope in my wording and was already recovering her spirit.

All right. I won't dig any deeper. I've seen plenty of faces carrying stories like yours.

A woman who respected my decision.

But this serious talk… have you ever said anything like it to other women?

I shook my head. Ilhong had dropped the occasional hint, sure—but every time, I had only thought about it in private. I had never put my heart on the table and spoken the truth out loud like this.

Hehe. Then I'm the first?

She looked oddly pleased when I confirmed it. She even murmured something meaningful about taking a first—in her own room, no less, right there on her bed.

Anyway, I was glad she could stay so positive even after being turned down.

This feeling is so new…

She was always the one rejecting other people's confessions. Being on the opposite side for the first time in her life was apparently a novel experience.

Hero, it's a first for me too. This emotion… it's not so bad. I'll remember it.

She gave me a radiant smile and left her quarters.

And I took that road out of Cheonhwaru, trying to settle my thoroughly unsettled heart.

"I feel like I just did something incredibly wasteful."

Like I had put on airs far above my station and done something completely out of my league. Judging by the look in her eyes at the end, she was not going to give up easily. The thought left me both strangely excited and deeply worried.

Taking on jobs, getting tangled up with more and more people, expanding my network, sinking deeper into this society… I kept finding myself with more and more things to worry about.

Back when I first arrived here and got stabbed and slammed into a wall, there had been only one purpose in my head.

Survival.

Now I had so many people to protect that my mind felt crowded and complicated.

"Boss—!"

And right then, one of those precious things I needed to protect came sprinting toward me in a panic.

She even used lightfoot technique, sliding to a stop in front of me, then proceeded to pat me down from head to toe as if checking for something.

"…What are you doing?"

I eyed her suspiciously.

"I heard you went to that fox spirit's quarters. Nothing happened… right?"

Honestly. The woman had a perfectly good name—Ju Wolay—and still Ilhong refused to lower her guard, insisting on calling her that.

When I hemmed and hawed instead of answering cleanly, her eyes narrowed and she pressed again.

"Nothing happened, right? Knowing you, Boss, I figure you wouldn't, but…!"

Knowing me, I wouldn't, huh.

Her question left ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠me looking distinctly uncomfortable. I could have just lied through my teeth and said nothing happened—but the Starfall Heart Method stirred in response, and something called a "conscience" snagged on the idea.

So I shut my mouth and scratched my cheek awkwardly instead.

"What's with that weird face…? ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠That's a something-definitely-happened face…"

"…Misunderstanding. Total misunderstanding. Almost nothing happened."

I waved both hands, denying her suspicions.

"Hold on—what do you mean, almost?!"

Come on. I said almost nothing.

There had been a bit of spiritual docking, sure—but I had remembered Salsung's existence and held the line on my pure white integrity. Sadly enough.

"Whatever. Ilhong, hand over whatever Hundred-Li Fragrance you've got left. Confiscated."

I held out my hand toward the girl who was still clinging to my arm, whining for me to just tell her already.

Ilhong flinched and took a step back.

"B-but… this stuff is pretty expensive, and I didn't even use it on you, Boss…"

Right. She had used it on the client she was stuck to like glue through a technical loophole.

I confiscated her Hundred-Li Fragrance with a look that said not a chance. She sank to the ground with the most devastated expression I had ever seen.

"Do you trust me that little? Hmm?"

I had literally just finished rejecting a confession, for the record.

"When it comes to women… well… a little…"

What a low-trust society this was.

I flicked a light knuckle against the top of her grumbling head.

Thwack!

"Ow!"

And so I returned to the Eunseong Merchant Group, where this whole job had begun.

The first thing ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠I did upon arrival was push the Starfall Heart Method to its absolute limit right in front of my master, Hwang Geolgae.

The dormant star energy transformed into a staggering flood of internal power and poured into my body. Watching it happen, Hwang Geolgae looked half-exasperated.

"You damn brat. What the hell do you keep doing out there every time you come back?"

A whole lot of things, Master.

That was really the only explanation I could give.