Chapter 319: Magic is for the Weak (2)
Chapter 319: Magic is for the Weak (2)
“I’m sorry, but let me ask one more time. When did you say you rented this?”
Good grief, the date and time should all be right there in the records.
“Five days ago.”
We had gone back and forth on this several times, starting with the date.
I was already mentally calculating the day of the week, expecting them to ask that next. However, the staff member seemed to have finally given up on denying reality and let out a long sigh.
“I really wanted to believe it was a data error.”
The words were steeped in genuine grief.
I felt like that was the kind of thing one should keep to themselves, but honestly, I sympathized to an extent, so I kept my mouth shut.
Even as the crow flies, covering this distance in five days was more than a little strange. I only managed it because the car was high-quality; frankly, any other vehicle would have broken down and been abandoned long ago.
In fact, during the actual loops, it had broken down or exploded quite frequently.
But look at it now.
Thanks to the experience accumulated over those countless loops, I had succeeded in returning a car that, at least on the surface, looked perfectly fine. There was a chance the engine was shot, but I knew I’d pushed the vehicle to its absolute limit, so there was no helping that.
“But if you were going to travel like this, wouldn't it have been easier to just take a plane?”
The staff member asked while tapping away at the keyboard to input the return data.
Usually, Administrative Staff handle things professionally and impersonally, but this case was so extraordinary that they couldn't seem to let it go without asking.
“Ah, my disciples said they wanted to see the scenery.”
In reality, it was because I was afraid the plane might fall out of the sky, but a little lie like this wouldn't hurt. Besides, the disciples had already headed out to get some fresh air.
The only one who could criticize me for this lie was Un-ho, who was perched on my shoulder, watching me with an inscrutable gaze.
By the way, speaking of planes... a thought just occurred to me.
What if... if we had taken a plane, would we have been stuck in an infinite loop in mid-air...?
How would I even stop that? There would be infinitely more variables than in the forest. It would have been a nightmare to handle.
As I briefly imagined the scenario, all sorts of ridiculous possibilities flooded my mind. I offered a silent prayer of thanks to A-bin for refusing to fly and wiped the thought from my head.
“You’re a good teacher. I wish my professor would take a page out of your book.”
Oho, getting personal now, are we?
I wondered if they were curious about my trip or if they just needed someone to vent to.
“Ah, so you’re not a regular employee of the Management Bureau, but a working student?”
“You catch on quick. The Bureau employee who was in charge of machinery maintenance ran off, you see. Thanks to that, I’m stuck handling this place since I was originally an engineer. The pay is decent, but... sigh. Why did I ever transfer to the Magic Department?”
The personal details kept pouring out.
Seeing as the self-muttering had increased significantly, it seemed they simply needed someone to listen to their pent-up frustrations.
Anyway, the staff member, who clearly had a lot on their mind, finished entering the return record, grabbed a tablet, and stepped away from the desk toward the car.
“Just this morning, my professor woke me up out of nowhere and told me to etch non-lethal explosion magic onto 200 grenades. I know Rune Magic is just repetitive labor, but waking me up at the crack of dawn for something I’m not even going to use is just wrong.”
Of course, the mouth venting the complaints didn't stop for a second.
Wait, were the grenades we were hit with today this person's handiwork?
“Those grenades... by any chance, are you talking about the ones fired in the lobby earlier?”
“...I didn't see it myself, but surely even the Geneva Branch doesn't have grenades raining down multiple times a day, right?”
I felt like it could happen more than once, but a massive barrage like that probably wasn't common.
“Since you mentioned 200 rounds, that sounds about right. The precision was good. It was a decent piece of work.”
“You really must have seen it. How was it?”
The staff member asked without even turning their head, busy inspecting various parts of the car.
“Speaking as someone who took a direct hit, I’d suggest reducing the smoke and increasing the flash.”
It’s better than spraying soot everywhere, isn't it?
“...So you were hit. I’m sorry about that. A flash, huh? I usually do that, but someone was carried off recently due to a Photosensitive Seizure, so I’ve been holding back.”
A Photosensitive Seizure? Just what are these people doing?
Even I, who was used to this chaos, couldn't help but wonder. Setting aside the fact that mages were doing weird things, the conversation continued.
The dialogue consisted of the working student’s personal grievances—as if they truly had no one else to talk to—and questions regarding the car's condition.
“The bumper is heavily dented. Did you hit something?”
“I rammed a few monsters.”
“You’re joking, right?”
“It’s the truth.”
“....”
And so on.
“The chassis control system is overloaded. What did you do?”
“Drove through forest paths at 300 km/h on sharp curves?”
“You’re... probably not joking.”
They were getting used to it.
Eventually, the inspection wound down.
“Alright, check complete. You really treated this thing rough. You’ll probably have a hard time renting a vehicle next time.”
As they said this, the staff member showed me the tablet screen. The result showed 364 penalty points.
Was it one day of rental ban per point...?
Well, at least it wasn't a full year. One day short.
Of course, regardless of the ban period, my rating must have plummeted, but since I was already at a level where I could barely rent a Rubber Boat, the penalty points didn't really matter.
And since I had rented it with an Official Duty Permit this time anyway, the actual points applied would be zero.
“Now, finally, we’ll check the accident records. Are there any specific accidents you need to report?”
In the midst of the return inspection, the final procedure I had been waiting for arrived.
“Ah, hold on a moment. I need to tell my disciple about this as well.”
When I asked them to wait, the staff member looked puzzled for a moment.
“Sure, go ahead. It’s not like I’m that busy anyway.”
With that permission, I stepped outside the building and brought Han A-bin back with me.
A-bin, who had been dragged along, stood beside me with an expressionless face, seemingly prepared to hear whatever was coming.
“Um, so... I don't remember the exact time, but about four days ago, there was a collision with a Hero, and the victim in question died. It should be recorded in the accident logger.”
Having finished all my preparations, I calmly confessed the incident.
“Ah, I see. A collision. The victim was a Hero, deceased... ...Deceased?”
The staff member, who had been absentmindedly inputting the data, snapped their head up from the tablet and stared at me in shock.
Well, it was only natural.
A traffic accident resulting in casualties is terrible enough, but someone died? And a Hero at that?
“Yes, a fatal accident. Please verify the truth of it first.”
“...A-Alright.”
When I emphasized the death once more, the face of the mage—who was just a working student—turned pale.
The... he or she... anyway, the androgynous Technology Branch mage quietly connected the car's data cable and began receiving data on the tablet.
“Collision. Collision. Collision. Collision... Collision....”
There were quite a lot of accident records.
Perhaps because there was so much to read, the staff member kept scrolling through the data until they finally found what I had mentioned. Their finger stopped, and they tapped the tablet.
“Humanoid. Collision. No brake marks. Speeding. Failure to look ahead. No steering input....”
With every word that left the staff member's mouth, their face grew paler.
A-bin, standing next to me, began to glare at me with increasing intensity.
However, a completely different thought dominated my mind.
Wow, they show it in that much detail nowadays?
It put black boxes to shame. If someone tried to drive drunk, they’d be caught instantly.
Anyway, after my long list of crimes was enumerated, the staff member, whose face had turned white after reading the record, seemed to have lost their soul. They just stood there blankly holding the tablet.
I didn't feel like rushing them, so I waited for about thirty seconds.
“Uh... excuse me. Hero Lee Ha-ram?”
“Yes?”
Hero? After I listened to all those secrets of your private life, do we really need such formal titles between us?
“Um, well... this isn't just a matter of returning the car. Shouldn't you turn yourself in to the Management Bureau...? At this rate, you’ll be arrested immediately....”
The suggestion to surrender was whispered in a voice that was rapidly losing its strength.
Han A-bin was also slowly taking a step away from me while glaring, so I figured it was time to handle this.
“Please submit the record as it is. However, check 'Other' for the final accident type and write 'Meteor' there.”
“Pardon? Meteor?”
“Yes, in English. You can do everything else as you normally would, just add that. Oh, and capitalize the first letter. That should do it.”
“Uh... okay, for now.”
Perhaps my request was weirder than expected. The staff member followed my instructions faithfully but tilted their head in confusion.
Soon, they informed me that the accident record had been completed and submitted.
The result should come out within a minute.
After waiting for a short while...
“...Huh? 0 penalty points? 0 deductible? Return processed? No issues with the content? What?”
Along with a startled, high-pitched voice, the answer came.
It was an answer I had halfway expected.
But for the staff member and Han A-bin, it was completely unforeseen.
If there was anything I hadn't expected, it was this:
“Hmm? Not a pending review, but all green?”
“Uh. Ah. Yes, there are no problems at all. The accident was even cleared of all charges? How?”
That fellow Meteor must have already informed the Bureau that he’d been in an accident.
Normally, it would show as 'pending review,' but to be cleared immediately...
It seemed Meteor had returned quickly this time.
That was a relief.
If it had been pending, a summons would have been issued, wasting unnecessary time. I was glad to be spared such tedious work.
“See, A-bin? I told you. No fault.”
As I said that and patted the back of the dazed A-bin, she spoke.
“...Liar.”
Han A-bin also seemed unable to comprehend the situation, her eyes wide as she muttered blankly.
“Wow, it really was Lord Meteor, huh?”
Un-ho, who was still on my shoulder, finally seemed to believe me and chimed in.
Anyway, with the vehicle return finished, I was able to erase the small bit of anxiety remaining in my heart.
Because Meteor had appeared in the form of a woman, I’d been worried—what if the person I hit wasn't Meteor, but some crazy person claiming to be him?
Fortunately, the one I hit was indeed Meteor. Now, the only thing left for me was the sad reality that my former comrade-in-arms, Meteor, had become a pervert who appeared as a woman.
First the Librarian, now Meteor. I don't know why everyone is living like that these days. Sigh.
I hope Misha doesn't suddenly show up as a woman one day. Like, instead of a bear transformation, it’s a 'bear beastman' transformation or something.
...Let’s stop the horrible imaginings.
If I had time to pollute my mind with such thoughts, I should spend it on what needs to be done.
“Well then. Now that the car return is finished, I’ll be going.”
Having ceased my imaginings, I offered my farewell.
“Ah... alright. Good work.”
The staff member reflexively returned the greeting, their eyes still glued to the tablet.
“Excuse me, is that really the result? It’s not an error?”
Han A-bin clung to the dazed staff member, and the two of them began frantically tapping the tablet to re-verify the results.
Of course, the result didn't change.
I left her to it, thinking she might as well check to her heart's content. After a few minutes, Han A-bin also seemed to give up and returned with a vacant expression.
I gave the soul-less A-bin a slap on the back and was about to leave the maintenance shop when I remembered something I needed to say. I turned around at the door and spoke.
“Oh, just in case. That 'Meteor' I had you write in the 'Other' section—if you try to abuse that, you’ll be summoned by the Management Bureau. I recommend you try to forget it if possible.”
It might have sounded like a threat depending on the listener.
But I had to say it.
You never know what’s in a person’s heart. Even if they didn't intend to abuse it, think of what would happen if they used it as a joke.
“Ah... I understand.”
“Well then, take care.”
With those final words, I left the vehicle maintenance shop.