Chapter 315: The Slope of Heaven (3)
Chapter 315: The Slope of Heaven (3)
Damn it. I must be out of my mind.
The moment I grab the steering wheel, a flood of images surges through my mind.
Countless images that don't exist in my memory, yet I've clearly experienced.
Just how many times have I repeated this?
Dozens? Hundreds? Thousands?
Did The Other Self within me say she would end this loop after seeing all this?
I can empathize with that sentiment.
Anyone would think the same after witnessing these meaningless, infinitely repeating cycles.
Even I, who am only seeing the images without the actual memories, feel like I'm going insane.
Every single one of them is an image that evokes horror and despair.
Among them, the images created through my encounter with the other me are particularly gruesome.
To be precise, I wonder if that was our final meeting, but I've roughly understood the fact that I am currently in a loop and what I've endured during it.
However, in the end, I have no memory of what I actually did during those loops.
What I've gained is the trauma left behind by the most shocking memories of The Cycle.
Even so, the reason I remember most of my conversation with The Twisted Self is likely because the "other side of the door" she showed me was so utterly horrific.
It wasn't something conveyed through words.
She showed me her Third Eye and shoved the knowledge into me.
The indescribable depths of the Deep Otherworld.
A place where the very concepts of the world are alive and moving.
Where time devours living beings as naturally as breathing.
Where space contorts its body to crush the living.
Where friendship smiles while urging you to drive a knife into another's body.
Where death tears the essence from life without any causal relationship.
Where the mind treats the living beings in its hands like toys.
That kind of place.
But what truly terrifies me isn't the horrific knowledge of what those concepts become when they come to life.
It's the existence that can look those things in the eye and laugh.
My twisted self.
And the fact that I can empathize with the life she has lived.
A 99.99% synchronization rate, she said?
…How cruel.
I might have made that same choice.
Because I empathized with the fact that if I had learned what lay beyond that door, I would have acted just like her.
The life she showed me… was like that.
To protect everyone, she swallowed the Otherworld.
An existence that became the only one in the world capable of seeing The Hidden World.
I see time unfairly sucking others away.
Soon, my precious person will die.
I see how the connections we've formed actually function.
Soon, the person I held dear will betray me.
I see the truth vanishing with a smile.
I see the world enveloped in falsehoods.
In such a situation.
The me who was not me did not break.
Even while being betrayed and collapsing.
She moved forward.
Even if, in the final moment, she was called a monster by the comrades she trusted.
Because that other me never lost her affection for humanity until the very end.
The moment everything ended.
The moment her essence as a Glutton surpassed her original human essence.
She performed an act of love, the only thing she could do as a Glutton.
She swallowed humanity—the entire Earth.
So that they could live together inside her forever.
It's insane.
No matter how much of a Glutton she was.
That is nothing but madness.
And yet, I can empathize with it.
Even though what was conveyed to me were only fragmentary events and not her entire life.
I can understand and follow the path the other me walked and the conclusion she reached.
I might do the same.
In that situation, I might move just like her.
Because that is how I live.
That is the most powerful trauma I gained from this loop.
And thanks to that trauma, I realized the structure of this loop.
This loop is a process for my Adversary to produce and consume something.
In the process, it erases the memories of others caught in the loop.
But if the experience of having looped is erased entirely, the same loop would simply repeat.
The Adversary wouldn't get what it wants.
Therefore, my enemy left one flaw in the loop.
So that intense experiences remain in the brain.
So that through them, the loop changes bit by bit.
The reason images of ruin flash through my head is likely because of that.
The biggest problem is…
What exactly is it eating?
Thanks to the "drastic measure" from my other self, I've understood the situation I'm in.
Since this trauma isn't likely to disappear, I should be able to immediately recall the fact that I'm in a loop in subsequent cycles.
However, this memory recovery sequence is incredibly clumsy.
I only quickly recall the fact that I'm looping and a few traumas.
The flow of thought I gained while facing The Adversary doesn't remain in my head.
This really sucks.
I was able to gain several clues thanks to the bullshit my other self pulled, but conversely, if she's right, I'm about to enter a stage where my defeat is guaranteed.
Without even knowing what that defeat entails.
This is driving me crazy.
Even if I know it's a loop, I can't just throw things away if it's like this.
For now, let's keep thinking.
Memories… no.
I've had the experience of those being eaten before.
Time… probably not.
If it were such a representative concept, Un-ho’s magic would have detected it.
Then it must be something more minor, like "diversity."
Hnnngh.
As I was agonizing over it.
"Senior? Is something wrong?"
A voice called out, and I turned my head.
There were my disciples and Un-ho, looking at me with questioning eyes.
The moment I saw them.
"…It's nothing."
I took a deep breath and suppressed the images that surfaced.
Faces disappearing through holes.
The deaths of my disciples.
Un-ho’s death.
All those images from the loops cause me pain.
"…Are you sure you're okay? You're sweating so much…"
Sweat?
Surprised by those words, I wiped my face and felt that it was soaking wet.
…Damn it.
I guess I'm only human after all.
Seeing my sweat-drenched hands trembling, it seems the images that keep surging up no matter what I do are pushing me out of a normal state.
…It can't be helped.
"A-bin. I don't think I'm feeling well today. You drive."
I have things to think about.
As I said that and moved to the back seat.
"Are you really okay?"
A-bin asked again, sounding truly worried.
"I'm fine. I'm fine."
I squeezed out an answer, doing my best to steady my heart.
The moment I handed the seat over to A-bin, I endured the countless images that continued to surface.
* * *
Countless images, the deaths left behind by the loops, rise up.
Any choice placed before me is a choice where we all die.
Therefore, pretending to be ill, I continued to follow my thoughts.
I left all choices to my disciples.
But eventually, The Adversary was bound to appear.
And much faster than I expected.
While waiting for the Fork in the Road that would soon appear and continuing to think about what was to come.
By chance, I looked at a hole in a tree.
Normally, I would have passed it by, thinking it was just an ordinary hole.
But because my mind was already filled with countless images, I recognized its true nature immediately.
"Damn it."
An alarm began to ring in my head. An alarm that The Adversary had appeared.
I tried to take action.
But the images poured in.
Images of everything falling into ruin no matter what choice I made in this situation.
"Ha-ram-nim! An enemy…!"
I heard Un-ho’s voice.
My reaction was slower than Un-ho’s.
Thwack.
Tentacles pierced the car.
So effortlessly.
Just like the images in my head.
I tried to do something, but the images leaped out of my mind and blocked my actions.
Damn it.
Damn it.
Damn it.
I know.
I know that a single action doesn't cause everything to fall into ruin.
I know that The End is the result of every single action piled up.
But if an image of ruin surfaces above that choice.
Even if I know and resolve myself.
My response is delayed.
The remnants of countless memories accumulated before the loop weigh me down.
Is this one of the defeat conditions?
Even if my Adversary doesn't become stronger than me.
A defeat where my will is broken and I collapse.
I thought my will would never break under any circumstances.
But doubt about my own will mixes into my heart.
I, too, am just a person.
Just a person who cannot achieve everything.
Therefore, by the time I stood up with my hammer.
It was already too late for many things.
A hole appeared in my disciple's body.
Un-ho was sliced in half with a hole in him.
His brow wasn't pierced, and seeing him gasping for breath, he wasn't dead yet, but…
So much had already collapsed.
"—-."
They were shouting something at me, but countless images intervened, blocking me off from reality.
A loop where defeat is decided no matter what you do.
What meaning could there be in that?
That's what I thought.
Just as I was about to let go of my hammer.
I saw my disciples.
I didn't know what they were doing, but they were leaping out in front of me.
Even though it's meaningless.
That's what I thought in my head.
But my body seemed to have a different idea.
My vision was dyed black.
Black Particles scattered.
An option I would never have taken scattered within me.
The Hammer vanished, and a Red Pry Bar was held in my hand.
Didn't the other me I met tell me?
That she had surpassed The Enemy by swallowing them.
The one path I had been shown.
The path toward the end of humanity.
But at least.
A path that wouldn't let the disciples before my eyes die.
Even if ruin lay ahead.
I will move forward.
Un-ho and the disciples were shouting something at me.
I couldn't hear them.
All I could perceive was…
My body being pierced by holes.
Me swallowing the holes that appeared in my body back up.
My dress hungrily devouring the white fog.
The holes torn into the world being swallowed by my will.
The holes piercing me and taking a part of me.
Releasing my power as the Black Marauder.
In a battle of tearing each other apart and devouring each other's power.
The Enemy’s thoughts, consciousness, and goals flowed into me.
I see.
Otherworldly Power is something that can even constitute an individual entity.
In that case, if I absorb a large amount of it, I can obtain something the opponent possesses.
Yes.
I know what this thing eats now.
Change.
Something becoming different.
When the future's content changes due to the actions of others, it gains power accordingly.
That's why it obtained such a massive amount of power.
Even for someone like me, I don't just fire off ultimate techniques randomly.
In other words, that is a major change in the future.
I also understand why the power gained from the deaths of the disciples or Un-ho is so immense.
As the Regressor who was once our comrade told us.
Even if you know the future, a tiny action can lead to a completely different result, so regression isn't as omnipotent as one might think.
If so, someone's death would significantly change the future.
Enough for that thing to become so strong.
Besides that, it's an existence that can even eat the perception that something has changed in another person's mind.
Since that, too, can fall under the category of change.
By having the concept of change eaten, one fails to perceive that the world around them is changing, believes there are no errors in their actions, and feels that what they are doing is justified.
Because they don't perceive the change, their concept of time also gradually vanishes.
In that moment, when one becomes insensitive to their surroundings and insensitive to time, the "farm" is complete.
…How vile.
Truly vile.
Once you know, it's a concept that's incredibly simple to deduce.
But not only is it virtually impossible to find out what The Enemy eats, the side effect of making one believe they are right is truly horrific.
The only saving grace is…
That it can't increase its power unless it's in a special situation like this.
If it eats the changes that occur within another person's brain, its power hardly grows.
What's important to this thing is the future changing due to actions.
However, since the future is not fixed, it can't be said to have "changed."
Therefore, this thing created its own hunting ground.
It fixed our actions from the first loop as the baseline.
And it converts any change that deviates even slightly from that designated future into power.
It's a design that makes me want to laugh.
Is this what an Executive-level is like?
It wasn't designated as a Public Enemy because its power isn't as strong as the Gray Eater.
But it's a trap sufficient to devour a single Magical Girl named Lee Ha-ram.
If numerous factors hadn't aligned, I wouldn't have been able to escape this trap either.
I've already left behind a new trauma to carry this thought into the next loop.
The fact that my disciples collapsed because of my mistake.
The fact that I revealed my form as the Black Marauder to my disciples by my own will.
These have already remained in my head as sufficient trauma.
Now that I know what it eats.
A rough countermeasure has also come to mind.
The one problem is…
Can I actually carry out that countermeasure?
Can my mind endure it?
Well, whatever the case, the next loop will be the last.
Whether I die or this thing dies.
Thinking that, I looked at the giant tentacle approaching me.
The tentacle that had likely obtained the greatest power of all the loops.
"I guess there was never a scenario in this world where I transformed in front of my disciples, huh?"
Seeing as you've become this strong.
That's somewhat relieving to hear.
In addition, I've learned that the Black Marauder form is of no help in this battle.
Since The Enemy’s power grows faster than I can swallow it.
Just how did the other me swallow this guy? Did she not swallow the power, but literally tear him apart and eat him?
…It seems like that might have been the case.
Regardless, there's a point of relief.
Since my Black Marauder form has also been proven useless against this thing, I won't end up like her.
And I've come up with a hypothesis to eliminate this thing.
"Then, I'll see you in the last loop."
Crunch.
My body is sent flying. My consciousness fades.
In the midst of that, I laughed.
In this useless, meaninglessly prolonged infinite loop.
For the first time, out of the joy of being able to face my Adversary head-on.
I don't know if the newly looped me, who will perceive this memory as a mere image, can be called the same person as the current me.
But didn't the Librarian say it?
That such things don't matter.
And so.
Smiling, I was devoured.