Chapter 231: Election Campaign (1)
Chapter 231: Election Campaign (1)
Mhm. Right. Fine. I get it.
Whether the army wants to tear itself apart or not is their business. But the thing is...
"Do those bastards even know what a 'civilian' is?"
This isn't our lodging; it's a restaurant! A restaurant!
"Do you have any idea what happens to an army that fails to win the support of the people? Huh? Want me to show you?"
I don't know who you are, but I'm going to avenge that white fluffy dog eating next to me, you sons of bitches!
Fuming, I was about to charge out when Al’shel quietly reached out an arm, stopping me in my tracks.
"What now?"
"Um... I'm sorry to interrupt your 'Hero of Justice' act, but take a look at that."
"What could possibly be more absurd than—"
As I turned my head, a sight I never could have imagined met my eyes.
"Ah, is it Election Season already?"
"It's been a week. Don't you watch the news?"
"But they're paying for our meal, right?"
"Probably. If we report it, they'll even include civil war compensation."
"Jackpot."
A white dog and a calico cat, both encased in blue barriers, were casually walking toward the front entrance where the explosion had just occurred.
The windows and doors had long since been shattered, so there wasn't much of an 'entrance' left, but still.
Anyway.
What the hell is this?
"Un-ho."
"Yeth?"
I heard a strange sound and turned around.
In the middle of all this, Un-ho was stuffing fried food into his mouth.
...No, stay calm, the sadist within me.
Since coming to this world, I’ve realized for the first time just how much patience I actually have.
Or perhaps it’s not a matter of patience, but rather this insane world driving me mad.
"Before you finish shoving that down your throat, explain. What's up with those civilians?"
Why are these poor civilians, who just took a direct hit from a civil war explosion, walking out with barriers as if this were just another Tuesday?
"Because the army isn't allowed to attack civilians? Oh, and of course, some of them can just put up a barrier and tank an attack like that. I can't do that, though. Poyo."
Uh... yeah. Thanks for the textbook explanation.
So, it's like this?
Because the civilians' basic magical abilities are so high, they don't get hurt by these 'weak' attacks.
And soldiers starting a civil war for an election is such a common occurrence that the civilians don't even care?
Before I even worry about this being a shambles of a military, I'm starting to have fundamental doubts about whether this is even an army at all.
...I want to go home.
Please send me back from this crazy world.
My mental state crumbled for a moment, but I quickly dredged up the fact that I came here to meet The Queen—the creator of this mad world—from the very depths of my subconscious.
With that, I pulled myself together.
First, let's ask Un-ho’s opinion. Un-ho is the candidate; I'm just the assistant.
Of course, meeting The Queen is the top priority, but that seems difficult for now. I have to hold out somehow until The Queen wakes up.
To do that, I need Un-ho’s help.
No matter how unreliable Un-ho is, I've seen enough to know this world is completely insane. Un-ho is a native and our guarantor.
So.
"Un-ho, what are you going to do?"
"Well... you see..."
The moment Un-ho opened his mouth.
"Ten seconds left!"
A voice drifted in from the distance.
At that, my patience finally snapped. I poked my head over the table-barricade and roared.
"Hey, you damn idiots! We're in the middle of a discussion! Do you think you could reach a consensus in thirty seconds?! Give us another minute, damn it!"
The moment I did it, I knew it was a mistake.
But if I kept bottling it up, I was definitely going to explode, so it was better to let it out once here.
On the other hand, I secretly hoped they would attack.
So I could get really pissed off and blow them all away.
However, contrary to my hopes...
"...I shall give you five minutes!"
The mercy of the person on the other side was far too great.
An absurd amount of mercy, giving four minutes more than I asked for.
Left speechless, I ducked my head back down and spoke to Al’shel before Un-ho.
"You said before that they're so relaxed because they're strong, right?"
"I did."
Even in this situation, Al’shel was staring blankly at the ceiling with a water bottle in hand, as if none of this were his business.
"No, it's like I said. They're just airheads."
"...I don't really feel like arguing. Let's just say both are true."
Fine, we've reached a consensus on that.
Now, back to Un-ho.
"Un-ho."
"Yes?"
"I asked you before. What are you going to do?"
They asked if we would join their faction under the guise of Military Service or be neutralized.
In truth, those aren't the only two options.
Seeing as Captain Af didn't mess with Un-ho or me, it likely means that those who declare neutrality or are under special circumstances are forbidden from fighting, while specific factions are allowed to use force against each other.
In other words, I could just go out right now and beat them all up.
There's no way they're stronger than Captain Af, so my victory is guaranteed.
"Well, I don't really mind enlisting. Actually, that's the best way to avoid fighting. Even if I get elected, I can just not become a council member and let someone else take the spot. But... there's one problem. Poyo."
"What is it?"
"Master Lee Ha-ram, do you want to participate in that kind of Election Campaign?"
...Un-ho’s nerves, calling that an Election Campaign, are impressive, but I'll let it slide. I'll pass on that.
"Oh, and to add to that, since Master Lee Ha-ram is a rare defector in our world, they might use that to drag you into broadcasts or negotiations all the time. Poyo. It's something they do often."
They can go to hell.
Alright then, forget enlisting.
"What does 'neutralization' involve?"
"They knock you out for about a month or soak you in a deep sleep spell. It's happened to me before. I didn't think they'd put sleeping pills in my food just to reduce the number of neutral parties, even though I hadn't even declared my candidacy. Poyo."
Well, treating Un-ho like that isn't so bad, but...
"Is that just for you, Un-ho?"
"No, of course it's the entire staff of the election office. Military candidates are allowed to have proxies... I think?"
The way he trailed off was ominous, but Un-ho’s memory regarding these matters is strangely accurate, so I should probably believe him.
So, the plan to gain freedom by sacrificing Un-ho was also rejected.
"That leaves nothing but beating them up and running away."
"Uh... you can't kill them. You'll be hauled off to a military tribunal. Poyo."
Seriously, what is wrong with these people?
"They're practically radiating bloodlust, though."
I can feel it even from behind the barricade.
"Well, maybe they're just excited for the battle? Poyo? Of course, people do die occasionally. But those are unavoidable accidents; if you openly try to kill someone, it's big trouble. Poyo."
...How about we just stop this madness altogether?
No, there's no point in saying anything. Anyway, no killing, huh...
I peeked my head out and looked at the enemies.
When I looked earlier, the dust from the explosion was still obscuring the view, making it hard to see clearly. But now that the dust had settled, I could see who was around.
A diverse array of animals and fairies.
There wasn't much in common in their composition, but there was one element that clearly identified them as a single group.
A cloth tied around their arms or waists.
Or if that wasn't possible, a red cloth with black stripes tied as a scarf or a flag on their backs.
That was likely the symbol of their faction.
In terms of numbers, there were two fairly strong mages. Twenty who were above average.
And about seventy to eighty ordinary ones.
Even so, by our standards, they would be B-Rank Heroes.
Among them, the beastman-type animal in the center, the strongest mage, was staring intently at a watch.
He was probably timing the five minutes he had mentioned.
...What a strangely diligent bunch.
Hah. If a mage company that powerful existed on Earth, they could have held down an entire front line.
Anyway, I think I could neutralize all of them on my own. It would just take some time since I can't kill them.
By the way, something is bothering me.
Setting aside the hundred-man company showing us hostility...
What's with the crowd surrounding the shop as if it were some kind of spectacle?
On top of that, unknown Magic Circles were shimmering in the air, and a few people outside the circle formed by the crowd were talking incessantly.
...What is that?
Curiosity piqued, I enhanced my senses.
"...We are currently at the location of Brigadier General Un-ho, who recently announced his candidacy..."
A sentence that made me doubt my ears flowed into my brain.
Wait, is that a news broadcast?
Startled, I immediately deactivated my sensory enhancement and hid back behind the barricade.
"The news stations are here?"
I don't know if 'broadcast' is the right word since they're using magic, but still.
"Well, since it's an election activity, of course they'd show up. Poyo."
As he said that, Un-ho chewed on a salad he had scavenged from somewhere.
Seeing that sight, a sense of futility washed over me, replacing my anger.
Maybe I'm the one being too sensitive?
Maybe I should just go with the flow like Un-ho.
Sigh.
I exhaled all the worries I had been piling up in a single long breath.
Fine, how bad could it be?
Al’shel was leaning against the table, staring at the sky as if he had no interest whatsoever, and Un-ho was just busy eating.
I'll just leave everything to Un-ho.
"So, are you going to beat them all up, or are we running?"
"Well, the former would be better, right? Since it's being broadcast, if we run, they'll think we're weak and other factions will keep coming. Poyo."
Un-ho, who was chewing on something like a blue tomato, said this with his cheeks bulging like a hamster after stuffing a fruit larger than his mouth inside.
"...It's hard to say anything when you're actually being sensible."
I feel like Un-ho’s intelligence has been increasing since we came to this world.
"I've been through this enough to know the countermeasures. It's not like I've only experienced one or two election seasons. Poyo."
I suppose so.
Un-ho is from this world, so he must have seen this chaos frequently.
Even Un-ho would learn how to deal with it.
Well, since our candidate has spoken, shall we do some election campaigning?
Thinking that, I summoned my hammer and prepared to leap over the barricade.
"What are you doing? Poyo."
"You said we should beat them up."
"Hmm? You're going yourself?"
"Then what? You're going to do it?"
"That was the plan. Ah, I think the five minutes are up. Poyo."
What?
Stunned, I turned back to Un-ho with one leg still hooked over the table-barricade.
Un-ho, still with the blue tomato stuffed in his cheek, stood up and stretched both hands into the air.
"I, the Nameless One of the Magic Kingdom, desire."
Then, he began to chant.
An extremely inefficient, meaningless, and complex song.
"Five minutes are up! Advance!"
Right on cue, the enemies began to move.
"Grant me the power to punish the enemies who block my path."
Un-ho’s arms glowed brightly.
"Ignorant and foolish, unaware of the value of their own lives."
The enemies leaped through the broken windows and entered the shop.
"A divine punishment befitting those who possess power yet cannot find their own graves."
Magic circles formed around Un-ho’s outstretched arms.
"It's a Song of Origin! Everyone, defensive stance!"
Did they realize Un-ho was chanting a spell because of the glowing Magic Circles?
The Enemy company that had entered the shop quickly clustered in the center, forming a blue defensive barrier.
"Grant them a sweet, cursed dream to last through the night."
Vast amounts of mana surged from Un-ho’s body as the chant was completed.
Flash.
As the Magic Circles shone brilliantly...
A blue mist billowed out.
The blue mist swept past us and enveloped the enemies' magical barrier.
Perhaps because its form was mist, it ignored the barrier and seeped inside quietly yet swiftly, surrounding them.
After about two seconds...
The blue mist gave one final flash and dissolved into the air.
In its place stood the soldiers, all with vacant expressions.
They managed to keep themselves upright for a moment.
But that lasted four or five seconds at most.
One by one...
Their knees buckled, and they slumped to the ground, falling into a quiet slumber.
"..."
While I stood there, momentarily speechless and bewildered...
"Let's go. Poyo."
Un-ho quietly walked past them and out of the shop.
Al’shel followed Un-ho after glancing at the fallen soldiers with a look of mild interest.
Only then did I snap out of it and quickly follow Un-ho out of the shop.
Behind us, only a hundred or so soundly sleeping soldiers remained inside.